The Preface |
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[P.1] The artist is the creator of
beautiful things. To reveal art and conceal the artist is art’s
aim. The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a
new material his impression of beautiful things. |
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[P.2] The highest as the lowest form
of criticism is a mode of autobiography. Those who find ugly
meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming.
This is a fault. |
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[P.3] Those who find beautiful
meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there
is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only
beauty. |
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[P.4] There is no such thing as a
moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly
written. That is all. |
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[P.5] The nineteenth century dislike
of realism is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a
glass. |
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[P.6] The nineteenth century dislike
of romanticism is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in
a glass. The moral life of man forms part of the subject-matter
of the artist, but the morality of art consists in the perfect
use of an imperfect medium. No artist desires to prove anything.
Even things that are true can be proved. No artist has ethical
sympathies. An ethical sympathy in an artist is an unpardonable
mannerism of style. No artist is ever morbid. The artist can
express everything. Thought and language are to the artist
instruments of an art. Vice and virtue are to the artist
materials for an art. From the point of view of form, the type of
all the arts is the art of the musician. From the point of view
of feeling, the actor’s craft is the type. All art is at once
surface and symbol. Those who go beneath the surface do so at
their peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their peril. It
is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.
Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is
new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree, the artist is in
accord with himself. We can forgive a man for making a useful
thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for
making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely. |
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[P.7] All art is quite useless. |
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Oscar Wilde. |
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Chapter 1 |
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[1.1] The studio was filled with the
rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred
amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door
the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the
pink-flowering thorn. |
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[1.2] From the corner of the divan of
Persian saddle-bags on which he was lying, smoking, as was his
custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry Wotton could just
catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured blossoms of
a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to bear
the burden of a beauty so flamelike as theirs; and now and then
the fantastic shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long
tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge
window, producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect, and making
him think of those pallid, jade-faced painters of Tokyo who,
through the medium of an art that is necessarily immobile, seek
to convey the sense of swiftness and motion. The sullen murmur of
the bees shouldering their way through the long unmown grass, or
circling with monotonous insistence round the dusty gilt horns of
the straggling woodbine, seemed to make the stillness more
oppressive. The dim roar of London was like the bourdon note of a
distant organ. |
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[1.3] In the centre of the room,
clamped to an upright easel, stood the full-length portrait of a
young man of extraordinary personal beauty, and in front of it,
some little distance away, was sitting the artist himself, Basil
Hallward, whose sudden disappearance some years ago caused, at
the time, such public excitement and gave rise to so many strange
conjectures. |
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[1.4] As the painter looked at the
gracious and comely form he had so skilfully mirrored in his art,
a smile of pleasure passed across his face, and seemed about to
linger there. But he suddenly started up, and closing his eyes,
placed his fingers upon the lids, as though he sought to imprison
within his brain some curious dream from which he feared he might
awake. |
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[1.5] “It is your best work,
Basil, the best thing you have ever done,” said Lord Henry
languidly. “You must certainly send it next year to the
Grosvenor. The Academy is too large and too vulgar. Whenever I
have gone there, there have been either so many people that I
have not been able to see the pictures, which was dreadful, or so
many pictures that I have not been able to see the people, which
was worse. The Grosvenor is really the only place.” |
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[1.6] “I don’t think I shall
send it anywhere,” he answered, tossing his head back in
that odd way that used to make his friends laugh at him at
Oxford. “No, I won’t send it anywhere.” |
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[1.7] Lord Henry elevated his
eyebrows and looked at him in amazement through the thin blue
wreaths of smoke that curled up in such fanciful whorls from his
heavy, opium-tainted cigarette. “Not send it anywhere? My
dear fellow, why? Have you any reason? What odd chaps you
painters are! You do anything in the world to gain a reputation.
As soon as you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It is
silly of you, for there is only one thing in the world worse than
being talked about, and that is not being talked about. A
portrait like this would set you far above all the young men in
England, and make the old men quite jealous, if old men are ever
capable of any emotion.” |
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[1.8] “I know you will laugh at
me,” he replied, “but I really can’t exhibit it. I
have put too much of myself into it.” |
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[1.9] Lord Henry stretched himself
out on the divan and laughed. |
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[1.10] “Yes, I knew you would;
but it is quite true, all the same.” |
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[1.11] “Too much of yourself in
it! Upon my word, Basil, I didn’t know you were so vain; and I
really can’t see any resemblance between you, with your rugged
strong face and your coal-black hair, and this young Adonis, who
looks as if he was made out of ivory and rose-leaves. Why, my
dear Basil, he is a Narcissus, and you—well, of course you
have an intellectual expression and all that. But beauty, real
beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect
is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of
any face. The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all
nose, or all forehead, or something horrid. Look at the
successful men in any of the learned professions. How perfectly
hideous they are! Except, of course, in the Church. But then in
the Church they don’t think. A bishop keeps on saying at the age
of eighty what he was told to say when he was a boy of eighteen,
and as a natural consequence he always looks absolutely
delightful. Your mysterious young friend, whose name you have
never told me, but whose picture really fascinates me, never
thinks. I feel quite sure of that. He is some brainless beautiful
creature who should be always here in winter when we have no
flowers to look at, and always here in summer when we want
something to chill our intelligence. Don’t flatter yourself,
Basil: you are not in the least like him.” |
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[1.12] “You don’t understand
me, Harry,” answered the artist. “Of course I am not
like him. I know that perfectly well. Indeed, I should be sorry
to look like him. You shrug your shoulders? I am telling you the
truth. There is a fatality about all physical and intellectual
distinction, the sort of fatality that seems to dog through
history the faltering steps of kings. It is better not to be
different from one’s fellows. The ugly and the stupid have the
best of it in this world. They can sit at their ease and gape at
the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least
spared the knowledge of defeat. They live as we all should
live—undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet. They
neither bring ruin upon others, nor ever receive it from alien
hands. Your rank and wealth, Harry; my brains, such as they
are—my art, whatever it may be worth; Dorian Gray’s good
looks—we shall all suffer for what the gods have given us,
suffer terribly.” |
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[1.13] “Dorian Gray? Is that
his name?” asked Lord Henry, walking across the studio
towards Basil Hallward. |
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[1.14] “Yes, that is his name.
I didn’t intend to tell it to you.” |
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[1.15] “But why not?” |
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[1.16] “Oh, I can’t explain.
When I like people immensely, I never tell their names to any
one. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love
secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life
mysterious or marvellous to us. The commonest thing is delightful
if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my
people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure.
It is a silly habit, I dare say, but somehow it seems to bring a
great deal of romance into one’s life. I suppose you think me
awfully foolish about it?” |
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[1.17] “Not at all,”
answered Lord Henry, “not at all, my dear Basil. You seem
to forget that I am married, and the one charm of marriage is
that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both
parties. I never know where my wife is, and my wife never knows
what I am doing. When we meet—we do meet occasionally, when
we dine out together, or go down to the Duke’s—we tell each
other the most absurd stories with the most serious faces. My
wife is very good at it—much better, in fact, than I am.
She never gets confused over her dates, and I always do. But when
she does find me out, she makes no row at all. I sometimes wish
she would; but she merely laughs at me.” |
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[1.18] “I hate the way you talk
about your married life, Harry,” said Basil Hallward,
strolling towards the door that led into the garden. “I
believe that you are really a very good husband, but that you are
thoroughly ashamed of your own virtues. You are an extraordinary
fellow. You never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong
thing. Your cynicism is simply a pose.” |
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[1.19] “Being natural is simply
a pose, and the most irritating pose I know,” cried Lord
Henry, laughing; and the two young men went out into the garden
together and ensconced themselves on a long bamboo seat that
stood in the shade of a tall laurel bush. The sunlight slipped
over the polished leaves. In the grass, white daisies were
tremulous. |
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[1.20] After a pause, Lord Henry
pulled out his watch. “I am afraid I must be going,
Basil,” he murmured, “and before I go, I insist on
your answering a question I put to you some time ago.” |
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[1.21] “What is that?”
said the painter, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. |
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[1.22] “You know quite
well.” |
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[1.23] “I do not,
Harry.” |
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[1.24] “Well, I will tell you
what it is. I want you to explain to me why you won’t exhibit
Dorian Gray’s picture. I want the real reason.” |
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[1.25] “I told you the real
reason.” |
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[1.26] “No, you did not. You
said it was because there was too much of yourself in it. Now,
that is childish.” |
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[1.27] “Harry,” said
Basil Hallward, looking him straight in the face, “every
portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the
artist, not of the sitter. The sitter is merely the accident, the
occasion. It is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is
rather the painter who, on the coloured canvas, reveals himself.
The reason I will not exhibit this picture is that I am afraid
that I have shown in it the secret of my own soul.” |
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[1.28] Lord Henry laughed. “And
what is that?” he asked. |
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[1.29] “I will tell you,”
said Hallward; but an expression of perplexity came over his
face. |
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[1.30] “I am all expectation,
Basil,” continued his companion, glancing at him. |
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[1.31] “Oh, there is really
very little to tell, Harry,” answered the painter;
“and I am afraid you will hardly understand it. Perhaps you
will hardly believe it.” |
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[1.32] Lord Henry smiled, and leaning
down, plucked a pink-petalled daisy from the grass and examined
it. “I am quite sure I shall understand it,” he
replied, gazing intently at the little golden, white-feathered
disk, “and as for believing things, I can believe anything,
provided that it is quite incredible.” |
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[1.33] The wind shook some blossoms
from the trees, and the heavy lilac-blooms, with their clustering
stars, moved to and fro in the languid air. A grasshopper began
to chirrup by the wall, and like a blue thread a long thin
dragon-fly floated past on its brown gauze wings. Lord Henry felt
as if he could hear Basil Hallward’s heart beating, and wondered
what was coming. |
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[1.34] “The story is simply
this,” said the painter after some time. “Two months
ago I went to a crush at Lady Brandon’s. You know we poor artists
have to show ourselves in society from time to time, just to
remind the public that we are not savages. With an evening coat
and a white tie, as you told me once, anybody, even a
stock-broker, can gain a reputation for being civilized. Well,
after I had been in the room about ten minutes, talking to huge
overdressed dowagers and tedious academicians, I suddenly became
conscious that some one was looking at me. I turned half-way
round and saw Dorian Gray for the first time. When our eyes met,
I felt that I was growing pale. A curious sensation of terror
came over me. I knew that I had come face to face with some one
whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it
to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very
art itself. I did not want any external influence in my life. You
know yourself, Harry, how independent I am by nature. I have
always been my own master; had at least always been so, till I
met Dorian Gray. Then——but I don’t know how to
explain it to you. Something seemed to tell me that I was on the
verge of a terrible crisis in my life. I had a strange feeling
that fate had in store for me exquisite joys and exquisite
sorrows. I grew afraid and turned to quit the room. It was not
conscience that made me do so: it was a sort of cowardice. I take
no credit to myself for trying to escape.” |
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[1.35] “Conscience and
cowardice are really the same things, Basil. Conscience is the
trade-name of the firm. That is all.” |
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[1.36] “I don’t believe that,
Harry, and I don’t believe you do either. However, whatever was
my motive—and it may have been pride, for I used to be very
proud—I certainly struggled to the door. There, of course,
I stumbled against Lady Brandon. ‘You are not going to run
away so soon, Mr. Hallward?’ she screamed out. You know her
curiously shrill voice?” |
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[1.37] “Yes; she is a peacock
in everything but beauty,” said Lord Henry, pulling the
daisy to bits with his long nervous fingers. |
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[1.38] “I could not get rid of
her. She brought me up to royalties, and people with stars and
garters, and elderly ladies with gigantic tiaras and parrot
noses. She spoke of me as her dearest friend. I had only met her
once before, but she took it into her head to lionize me. I
believe some picture of mine had made a great success at the
time, at least had been chattered about in the penny newspapers,
which is the nineteenth-century standard of immortality. Suddenly
I found myself face to face with the young man whose personality
had so strangely stirred me. We were quite close, almost
touching. Our eyes met again. It was reckless of me, but I asked
Lady Brandon to introduce me to him. Perhaps it was not so
reckless, after all. It was simply inevitable. We would have
spoken to each other without any introduction. I am sure of that.
Dorian told me so afterwards. He, too, felt that we were destined
to know each other.” |
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[1.39] “And how did Lady
Brandon describe this wonderful young man?” asked his
companion. “I know she goes in for giving a rapid
préecis of all her guests. I remember her
bringing me up to a truculent and red-faced old gentleman covered
all over with orders and ribbons, and hissing into my ear, in a
tragic whisper which must have been perfectly audible to
everybody in the room, the most astounding details. I simply
fled. I like to find out people for myself. But Lady Brandon
treats her guests exactly as an auctioneer treats his goods. She
either explains them entirely away, or tells one everything about
them except what one wants to know.” |
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[1.40] “Poor Lady Brandon! You
are hard on her, Harry!” said Hallward listlessly. |
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[1.41] “My dear fellow, she
tried to found a salon, and only succeeded in opening a
restaurant. How could I admire her? But tell me, what did she say
about Mr. Dorian Gray?” |
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[1.42] “Oh, something like,
‘Charming boy—poor dear mother and I absolutely
inseparable. Quite forget what he does—afraid
he—doesn’t do anything—oh, yes, plays the
piano—or is it the violin, dear Mr. Gray?’ Neither of
us could help laughing, and we became friends at once.” |
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[1.43] “Laughter is not at all
a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending
for one,” said the young lord, plucking another daisy. |
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[1.44] Hallward shook his head.
“You don’t understand what friendship is, Harry,” he
murmured—“or what enmity is, for that matter. You
like every one; that is to say, you are indifferent to every
one.” |
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[1.45] “How horribly unjust of
you!” cried Lord Henry, tilting his hat back and looking up
at the little clouds that, like ravelled skeins of glossy white
silk, were drifting across the hollowed turquoise of the summer
sky. “Yes; horribly unjust of you. I make a great
difference between people. I choose my friends for their good
looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies
for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the
choice of his enemies. I have not got one who is a fool. They are
all men of some intellectual power, and consequently they all
appreciate me. Is that very vain of me? I think it is rather
vain.” |
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[1.46] “I should think it was,
Harry. But according to your category I must be merely an
acquaintance.” |
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[1.47] “My dear old Basil, you
are much more than an acquaintance.” |
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[1.48] “And much less than a
friend. A sort of brother, I suppose?” |
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[1.49] “Oh, brothers! I don’t
care for brothers. My elder brother won’t die, and my younger
brothers seem never to do anything else.” |
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[1.50] “Harry!” exclaimed
Hallward, frowning. |
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[1.51] “My dear fellow, I am
not quite serious. But I can’t help detesting my relations. I
suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other
people having the same faults as ourselves. I quite sympathize
with the rage of the English democracy against what they call the
vices of the upper orders. The masses feel that drunkenness,
stupidity, and immorality should be their own special property,
and that if any one of us makes an ass of himself, he is poaching
on their preserves. When poor Southwark got into the divorce
court, their indignation was quite magnificent. And yet I don’t
suppose that ten per cent of the proletariat live
correctly.” |
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[1.52] “I don’t agree with a
single word that you have said, and, what is more, Harry, I feel
sure you don’t either.” |
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[1.53] Lord Henry stroked his pointed
brown beard and tapped the toe of his patent-leather boot with a
tasselled ebony cane. “How English you are Basil! That is
the second time you have made that observation. If one puts
forward an idea to a true Englishman—always a rash thing to
do—he never dreams of considering whether the idea is right
or wrong. The only thing he considers of any importance is
whether one believes it oneself. Now, the value of an idea has
nothing whatsoever to do with the sincerity of the man who
expresses it. Indeed, the probabilities are that the more
insincere the man is, the more purely intellectual will the idea
be, as in that case it will not be coloured by either his wants,
his desires, or his prejudices. However, I don’t propose to
discuss politics, sociology, or metaphysics with you. I like
persons better than principles, and I like persons with no
principles better than anything else in the world. Tell me more
about Mr. Dorian Gray. How often do you see him?” |
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[1.54] “Every day. I couldn’t
be happy if I didn’t see him every day. He is absolutely
necessary to me.” |
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[1.55] “How extraordinary! I
thought you would never care for anything but your
art.” |
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[1.56] “He is all my art to me
now,” said the painter gravely. “I sometimes think,
Harry, that there are only two eras of any importance in the
world’s history. The first is the appearance of a new medium for
art, and the second is the appearance of a new personality for
art also. What the invention of oil-painting was to the
Venetians, the face of Antinous was to late Greek sculpture, and
the face of Dorian Gray will some day be to me. It is not merely
that I paint from him, draw from him, sketch from him. Of course,
I have done all that. But he is much more to me than a model or a
sitter. I won’t tell you that I am dissatisfied with what I have
done of him, or that his beauty is such that art cannot express
it. There is nothing that art cannot express, and I know that the
work I have done, since I met Dorian Gray, is good work, is the
best work of my life. But in some curious way—I wonder will
you understand me?—his personality has suggested to me an
entirely new manner in art, an entirely new mode of style. I see
things differently, I think of them differently. I can now
recreate life in a way that was hidden from me before. ‘A
dream of form in days of thought’—who is it who says
that? I forget; but it is what Dorian Gray has been to me. The
merely visible presence of this lad—for he seems to me
little more than a lad, though he is really over twenty—his
merely visible presence—ah! I wonder can you realize all
that that means? Unconsciously he defines for me the lines of a
fresh school, a school that is to have in it all the passion of
the romantic spirit, all the perfection of the spirit that is
Greek. The harmony of soul and body—how much that is! We in
our madness have separated the two, and have invented a realism
that is vulgar, an ideality that is void. Harry! if you only knew
what Dorian Gray is to me! You remember that landscape of mine,
for which Agnew offered me such a huge price but which I would
not part with? It is one of the best things I have ever done. And
why is it so? Because, while I was painting it, Dorian Gray sat
beside me. Some subtle influence passed from him to me, and for
the first time in my life I saw in the plain woodland the wonder
I had always looked for and always missed.” |
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[1.57] “Basil, this is
extraordinary! I must see Dorian Gray.” |
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[1.58] Hallward got up from the seat
and walked up and down the garden. After some time he came back.
“Harry,” he said, “Dorian Gray is to me simply
a motive in art. You might see nothing in him. I see everything
in him. He is never more present in my work than when no image of
him is there. He is a suggestion, as I have said, of a new
manner. I find him in the curves of certain lines, in the
loveliness and subtleties of certain colours. That is
all.” |
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[1.59] “Then why won’t you
exhibit his portrait?” asked Lord Henry. |
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[1.60] “Because, without
intending it, I have put into it some expression of all this
curious artistic idolatry, of which, of course, I have never
cared to speak to him. He knows nothing about it. He shall never
know anything about it. But the world might guess it, and I will
not bare my soul to their shallow prying eyes. My heart shall
never be put under their microscope. There is too much of myself
in the thing, Harry—too much of myself!” |
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[1.61] “Poets are not so
scrupulous as you are. They know how useful passion is for
publication. Nowadays a broken heart will run to many
editions.” |
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[1.62] “I hate them for
it,” cried Hallward. “An artist should create
beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into
them. We live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to
be a form of autobiography. We have lost the abstract sense of
beauty. Some day I will show the world what it is; and for that
reason the world shall never see my portrait of Dorian
Gray.” |
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[1.63] “I think you are wrong,
Basil, but I won’t argue with you. It is only the intellectually
lost who ever argue. Tell me, is Dorian Gray very fond of
you?” |
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[1.64] The painter considered for a
few moments. “He likes me,” he answered after a
pause; “I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him
dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him
that I know I shall be sorry for having said. As a rule, he is
charming to me, and we sit in the studio and talk of a thousand
things. Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and
seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then I feel,
Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to some one who
treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of
decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer’s
day.” |
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[1.65] “Days in summer, Basil,
are apt to linger,” murmured Lord Henry. “Perhaps you
will tire sooner than he will. It is a sad thing to think of, but
there is no doubt that genius lasts longer than beauty. That
accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate
ourselves. In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have
something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and
facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place. The thoroughly
well-informed man—that is the modern ideal. And the mind of
the thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like
a bric-à-brac shop, all monsters and dust, with
everything priced above its proper value. I think you will tire
first, all the same. Some day you will look at your friend, and
he will seem to you to be a little out of drawing, or you won’t
like his tone of colour, or something. You will bitterly reproach
him in your own heart, and seriously think that he has behaved
very badly to you. The next time he calls, you will be perfectly
cold and indifferent. It will be a great pity, for it will alter
you. What you have told me is quite a romance, a romance of art
one might call it, and the worst of having a romance of any kind
is that it leaves one so unromantic.” |
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[1.66] “Harry, don’t talk like
that. As long as I live, the personality of Dorian Gray will
dominate me. You can’t feel what I feel. You change too
often.” |
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[1.67] “Ah, my dear Basil, that
is exactly why I can feel it. Those who are faithful know only
the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love’s
tragedies.” And Lord Henry struck a light on a dainty
silver case and began to smoke a cigarette with a self-conscious
and satisfied air, as if he had summed up the world in a phrase.
There was a rustle of chirruping sparrows in the green lacquer
leaves of the ivy, and the blue cloud-shadows chased themselves
across the grass like swallows. How pleasant it was in the
garden! And how delightful other people’s emotions
were!—much more delightful than their ideas, it seemed to
him. One’s own soul, and the passions of one’s
friends—those were the fascinating things in life. He
pictured to himself with silent amusement the tedious luncheon
that he had missed by staying so long with Basil Hallward. Had he
gone to his aunt’s, he would have been sure to have met Lord
Goodbody there, and the whole conversation would have been about
the feeding of the poor and the necessity for model
lodging-houses. Each class would have preached the importance of
those virtues, for whose exercise there was no necessity in their
own lives. The rich would have spoken on the value of thrift, and
the idle grown eloquent over the dignity of labour. It was
charming to have escaped all that! As he thought of his aunt, an
idea seemed to strike him. He turned to Hallward and said,
“My dear fellow, I have just remembered.” |
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[1.68] “Remembered what,
Harry?” |
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[1.69] “Where I heard the name
of Dorian Gray.” |
|
[1.70] “Where was it?”
asked Hallward, with a slight frown. |
|
[1.71] “Don’t look so angry,
Basil. It was at my aunt, Lady Agatha’s. She told me she had
discovered a wonderful young man who was going to help her in the
East End, and that his name was Dorian Gray. I am bound to state
that she never told me he was good-looking. Women have no
appreciation of good looks; at least, good women have not. She
said that he was very earnest and had a beautiful nature. I at
once pictured to myself a creature with spectacles and lank hair,
horribly freckled, and tramping about on huge feet. I wish I had
known it was your friend.” |
|
[1.72] “I am very glad you
didn’t, Harry.” |
|
[1.73] “Why?” |
|
[1.74] “I don’t want you to
meet him.” |
|
[1.75] “You don’t want me to
meet him?” |
|
[1.76] “No.” |
|
[1.77] “Mr. Dorian Gray is in
the studio, sir,” said the butler, coming into the
garden. |
|
[1.78] “You must introduce me
now,” cried Lord Henry, laughing. |
|
[1.79] The painter turned to his
servant, who stood blinking in the sunlight. “Ask Mr. Gray
to wait, Parker: I shall be in in a few moments.” The man
bowed and went up the walk. |
|
[1.80] Then he looked at Lord Henry.
“Dorian Gray is my dearest friend,” he said.
“He has a simple and a beautiful nature. Your aunt was
quite right in what she said of him. Don’t spoil him. Don’t try
to influence him. Your influence would be bad. The world is wide,
and has many marvellous people in it. Don’t take away from me the
one person who gives to my art whatever charm it possesses: my
life as an artist depends on him. Mind, Harry, I trust
you.” He spoke very slowly, and the words seemed wrung out
of him almost against his will. |
|
[1.81] “What nonsense you
talk!” said Lord Henry, smiling, and taking Hallward by the
arm, he almost led him into the house. |
|
|
|
Chapter 2 |
|
[2.1] As they entered they saw Dorian
Gray. He was seated at the piano, with his back to them, turning
over the pages of a volume of Schumann’s “Forest
Scenes.” “You must lend me these, Basil,” he
cried. “I want to learn them. They are perfectly
charming.” |
|
[2.2] “That entirely depends on
how you sit to-day, Dorian.” |
|
[2.3] “Oh, I am tired of
sitting, and I don’t want a life-sized portrait of myself,”
answered the lad, swinging round on the music-stool in a wilful,
petulant manner. When he caught sight of Lord Henry, a faint
blush coloured his cheeks for a moment, and he started up.
“I beg your pardon, Basil, but I didn’t know you had any
one with you.” |
|
[2.4] “This is Lord Henry
Wotton, Dorian, an old Oxford friend of mine. I have just been
telling him what a capital sitter you were, and now you have
spoiled everything.” |
|
[2.5] “You have not spoiled my
pleasure in meeting you, Mr. Gray,” said Lord Henry,
stepping forward and extending his hand. “My aunt has often
spoken to me about you. You are one of her favourites, and, I am
afraid, one of her victims also.” |
|
[2.6] “I am in Lady Agatha’s
black books at present,” answered Dorian with a funny look
of penitence. “I promised to go to a club in Whitechapel
with her last Tuesday, and I really forgot all about it. We were
to have played a duet together—three duets, I believe. I
don’t know what she will say to me. I am far too frightened to
call.” |
|
[2.7] “Oh, I will make your
peace with my aunt. She is quite devoted to you. And I don’t
think it really matters about your not being there. The audience
probably thought it was a duet. When Aunt Agatha sits down to the
piano, she makes quite enough noise for two people.” |
|
[2.8] “That is very horrid to
her, and not very nice to me,” answered Dorian,
laughing. |
|
[2.9] Lord Henry looked at him. Yes,
he was certainly wonderfully handsome, with his finely curved
scarlet lips, his frank blue eyes, his crisp gold hair. There was
something in his face that made one trust him at once. All the
candour of youth was there, as well as all youth’s passionate
purity. One felt that he had kept himself unspotted from the
world. No wonder Basil Hallward worshipped him. |
|
[2.10] “You are too charming to
go in for philanthropy, Mr. Gray—far too charming.”
And Lord Henry flung himself down on the divan and opened his
cigarette-case. |
|
[2.11] The painter had been busy
mixing his colours and getting his brushes ready. He was looking
worried, and when he heard Lord Henry’s last remark, he glanced
at him, hesitated for a moment, and then said, “Harry, I
want to finish this picture to-day. Would you think it awfully
rude of me if I asked you to go away?” |
|
[2.12] Lord Henry smiled and looked
at Dorian Gray. “Am I to go, Mr. Gray?” he asked. |
|
[2.13] “Oh, please don’t, Lord
Henry. I see that Basil is in one of his sulky moods, and I can’t
bear him when he sulks. Besides, I want you to tell me why I
should not go in for philanthropy.” |
|
[2.14] “I don’t know that I
shall tell you that, Mr. Gray. It is so tedious a subject that
one would have to talk seriously about it. But I certainly shall
not run away, now that you have asked me to stop. You don’t
really mind, Basil, do you? You have often told me that you liked
your sitters to have some one to chat to.” |
|
[2.15] Hallward bit his lip.
“If Dorian wishes it, of course you must stay. Dorian’s
whims are laws to everybody, except himself.” |
|
[2.16] Lord Henry took up his hat and
gloves. “You are very pressing, Basil, but I am afraid I
must go. I have promised to meet a man at the Orleans. Good-bye,
Mr. Gray. Come and see me some afternoon in Curzon Street. I am
nearly always at home at five o’clock. Write to me when you are
coming. I should be sorry to miss you.” |
|
[2.17] “Basil,” cried
Dorian Gray, “if Lord Henry Wotton goes, I shall go, too.
You never open your lips while you are painting, and it is
horribly dull standing on a platform and trying to look pleasant.
Ask him to stay. I insist upon it.” |
|
[2.18] “Stay, Harry, to oblige
Dorian, and to oblige me,” said Hallward, gazing intently
at his picture. “It is quite true, I never talk when I am
working, and never listen either, and it must be dreadfully
tedious for my unfortunate sitters. I beg you to stay.” |
|
[2.19] “But what about my man
at the Orleans?” |
|
[2.20] The painter laughed. “I
don’t think there will be any difficulty about that. Sit down
again, Harry. And now, Dorian, get up on the platform, and don’t
move about too much, or pay any attention to what Lord Henry
says. He has a very bad influence over all his friends, with the
single exception of myself.” |
|
[2.21] Dorian Gray stepped up on the
dais with the air of a young Greek martyr, and made a little moue
of discontent to Lord Henry, to whom he had rather taken a fancy.
He was so unlike Basil. They made a delightful contrast. And he
had such a beautiful voice. After a few moments he said to him,
“Have you really a very bad influence, Lord Henry? As bad
as Basil says?” |
|
[2.22] “There is no such thing
as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence is
immoral—immoral from the scientific point of
view.” |
|
[2.23] “Why?” |
|
[2.24] “Because to influence a
person is to give him one’s own soul. He does not think his
natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues
are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins,
are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one else’s music, an
actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of
life is self-development. To realize one’s nature
perfectly—that is what each of us is here for. People are
afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the highest
of all duties, the duty that one owes to one’s self. Of course,
they are charitable. They feed the hungry and clothe the beggar.
But their own souls starve, and are naked. Courage has gone out
of our race. Perhaps we never really had it. The terror of
society, which is the basis of morals, the terror of God, which
is the secret of religion—these are the two things that
govern us. And yet——” |
|
[2.25] “Just turn your head a
little more to the right, Dorian, like a good boy,” said
the painter, deep in his work and conscious only that a look had
come into the lad’s face that he had never seen there before. |
|
[2.26] “And yet,”
continued Lord Henry, in his low, musical voice, and with that
graceful wave of the hand that was always so characteristic of
him, and that he had even in his Eton days, “I believe that
if one man were to live out his life fully and completely, were
to give form to every feeling, expression to every thought,
reality to every dream—I believe that the world would gain
such a fresh impulse of joy that we would forget all the maladies
of mediaevalism, and return to the Hellenic ideal—to
something finer, richer than the Hellenic ideal, it may be. But
the bravest man amongst us is afraid of himself. The mutilation
of the savage has its tragic survival in the self-denial that
mars our lives. We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse
that we strive to strangle broods in the mind and poisons us. The
body sins once, and has done with its sin, for action is a mode
of purification. Nothing remains then but the recollection of a
pleasure, or the luxury of a regret. The only way to get rid of a
temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick
with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with
desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and
unlawful. It has been said that the great events of the world
take place in the brain. It is in the brain, and the brain only,
that the great sins of the world take place also. You, Mr. Gray,
you yourself, with your rose-red youth and your rose-white
boyhood, you have had passions that have made you afraid,
thoughts that have filled you with terror, day-dreams and
sleeping dreams whose mere memory might stain your cheek with
shame——” |
|
[2.27] “Stop!” faltered
Dorian Gray, “stop! you bewilder me. I don’t know what to
say. There is some answer to you, but I cannot find it. Don’t
speak. Let me think. Or, rather, let me try not to
think.” |
|
[2.28] For nearly ten minutes he
stood there, motionless, with parted lips and eyes strangely
bright. He was dimly conscious that entirely fresh influences
were at work within him. Yet they seemed to him to have come
really from himself. The few words that Basil’s friend had said
to him—words spoken by chance, no doubt, and with wilful
paradox in them—had touched some secret chord that had
never been touched before, but that he felt was now vibrating and
throbbing to curious pulses. |
|
[2.29] Music had stirred him like
that. Music had troubled him many times. But music was not
articulate. It was not a new world, but rather another chaos,
that it created in us. Words! Mere words! How terrible they were!
How clear, and vivid, and cruel! One could not escape from them.
And yet what a subtle magic there was in them! They seemed to be
able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to have a
music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere
words! Was there anything so real as words? |
|
[2.30] Yes; there had been things in
his boyhood that he had not understood. He understood them now.
Life suddenly became fiery-coloured to him. It seemed to him that
he had been walking in fire. Why had he not known it? |
|
[2.31] With his subtle smile, Lord
Henry watched him. He knew the precise psychological moment when
to say nothing. He felt intensely interested. He was amazed at
the sudden impression that his words had produced, and,
remembering a book that he had read when he was sixteen, a book
which had revealed to him much that he had not known before, he
wondered whether Dorian Gray was passing through a similar
experience. He had merely shot an arrow into the air. Had it hit
the mark? How fascinating the lad was! |
|
[2.32] Hallward painted away with
that marvellous bold touch of his, that had the true refinement
and perfect delicacy that in art, at any rate comes only from
strength. He was unconscious of the silence. |
|
[2.33] “Basil, I am tired of
standing,” cried Dorian Gray suddenly. “I must go out
and sit in the garden. The air is stifling here.” |
|
[2.34] “My dear fellow, I am so
sorry. When I am painting, I can’t think of anything else. But
you never sat better. You were perfectly still. And I have caught
the effect I wanted—the half-parted lips and the bright
look in the eyes. I don’t know what Harry has been saying to you,
but he has certainly made you have the most wonderful expression.
I suppose he has been paying you compliments. You mustn’t believe
a word that he says.” |
|
[2.35] “He has certainly not
been paying me compliments. Perhaps that is the reason that I
don’t believe anything he has told me.” |
|
[2.36] “You know you believe it
all,” said Lord Henry, looking at him with his dreamy
languorous eyes. “I will go out to the garden with you. It
is horribly hot in the studio. Basil, let us have something iced
to drink, something with strawberries in it.” |
|
[2.37] “Certainly, Harry. Just
touch the bell, and when Parker comes I will tell him what you
want. I have got to work up this background, so I will join you
later on. Don’t keep Dorian too long. I have never been in better
form for painting than I am to-day. This is going to be my
masterpiece. It is my masterpiece as it stands.” |
|
[2.38] Lord Henry went out to the
garden and found Dorian Gray burying his face in the great cool
lilac-blossoms, feverishly drinking in their perfume as if it had
been wine. He came close to him and put his hand upon his
shoulder. “You are quite right to do that,” he
murmured. “Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just
as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.” |
|
[2.39] The lad started and drew back.
He was bareheaded, and the leaves had tossed his rebellious curls
and tangled all their gilded threads. There was a look of fear in
his eyes, such as people have when they are suddenly awakened.
His finely chiselled nostrils quivered, and some hidden nerve
shook the scarlet of his lips and left them trembling. |
|
[2.40] “Yes,” continued
Lord Henry, “that is one of the great secrets of
life—to cure the soul by means of the senses, and the
senses by means of the soul. You are a wonderful creation. You
know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you
want to know.” |
|
[2.41] Dorian Gray frowned and turned
his head away. He could not help liking the tall, graceful young
man who was standing by him. His romantic, olive-coloured face
and worn expression interested him. There was something in his
low languid voice that was absolutely fascinating. His cool,
white, flowerlike hands, even, had a curious charm. They moved,
as he spoke, like music, and seemed to have a language of their
own. But he felt afraid of him, and ashamed of being afraid. Why
had it been left for a stranger to reveal him to himself? He had
known Basil Hallward for months, but the friendship between them
had never altered him. Suddenly there had come some one across
his life who seemed to have disclosed to him life’s mystery. And,
yet, what was there to be afraid of? He was not a schoolboy or a
girl. It was absurd to be frightened. |
|
[2.42] “Let us go and sit in
the shade,” said Lord Henry. “Parker has brought out
the drinks, and if you stay any longer in this glare, you will be
quite spoiled, and Basil will never paint you again. You really
must not allow yourself to become sunburnt. It would be
unbecoming.” |
|
[2.43] “What can it
matter?” cried Dorian Gray, laughing, as he sat down on the
seat at the end of the garden. |
|
[2.44] “It should matter
everything to you, Mr. Gray.” |
|
[2.45] “Why?” |
|
[2.46] “Because you have the
most marvellous youth, and youth is the one thing worth
having.” |
|
[2.47] “I don’t feel that, Lord
Henry.” |
|
[2.48] “No, you don’t feel it
now. Some day, when you are old and wrinkled and ugly, when
thought has seared your forehead with its lines, and passion
branded your lips with its hideous fires, you will feel it, you
will feel it terribly. Now, wherever you go, you charm the world.
Will it always be so? . . . You have a wonderfully
beautiful face, Mr. Gray. Don’t frown. You have. And beauty is a
form of genius—is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs
no explanation. It is of the great facts of the world, like
sunlight, or spring-time, or the reflection in dark waters of
that silver shell we call the moon. It cannot be questioned. It
has its divine right of sovereignty. It makes princes of those
who have it. You smile? Ah! when you have lost it you won’t
smile. . . . People say sometimes that beauty is
only superficial. That may be so, but at least it is not so
superficial as thought is. To me, beauty is the wonder of
wonders. It is only shallow people who do not judge by
appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not
the invisible. . . . Yes, Mr. Gray, the gods have
been good to you. But what the gods give they quickly take away.
You have only a few years in which to live really, perfectly, and
fully. When your youth goes, your beauty will go with it, and
then you will suddenly discover that there are no triumphs left
for you, or have to content yourself with those mean triumphs
that the memory of your past will make more bitter than defeats.
Every month as it wanes brings you nearer to something dreadful.
Time is jealous of you, and wars against your lilies and your
roses. You will become sallow, and hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed.
You will suffer horribly. . . . Ah! realize your
youth while you have it. Don’t squander the gold of your days,
listening to the tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure,
or giving away your life to the ignorant, the common, and the
vulgar. These are the sickly aims, the false ideals, of our age.
Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost
upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of
nothing. . . . A new Hedonism—that is what
our century wants. You might be its visible symbol. With your
personality there is nothing you could not do. The world belongs
to you for a season. . . . The moment I met you I
saw that you were quite unconscious of what you really are, of
what you really might be. There was so much in you that charmed
me that I felt I must tell you something about yourself. I
thought how tragic it would be if you were wasted. For there is
such a little time that your youth will last—such a little
time. The common hill-flowers wither, but they blossom again. The
laburnum will be as yellow next June as it is now. In a month
there will be purple stars on the clematis, and year after year
the green night of its leaves will hold its purple stars. But we
never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at
twenty becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We
degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the
passions of which we were too much afraid, and the exquisite
temptations that we had not the courage to yield to. Youth!
Youth! There is absolutely nothing in the world but
youth!” |
|
[2.49] Dorian Gray listened,
open-eyed and wondering. The spray of lilac fell from his hand
upon the gravel. A furry bee came and buzzed round it for a
moment. Then it began to scramble all over the oval stellated
globe of the tiny blossoms. He watched it with that strange
interest in trivial things that we try to develop when things of
high import make us afraid, or when we are stirred by some new
emotion for which we cannot find expression, or when some thought
that terrifies us lays sudden siege to the brain and calls on us
to yield. After a time the bee flew away. He saw it creeping into
the stained trumpet of a Tyrian convolvulus. The flower seemed to
quiver, and then swayed gently to and fro. |
|
[2.50] Suddenly the painter appeared
at the door of the studio and made staccato signs for them to
come in. They turned to each other and smiled. |
|
[2.51] “I am waiting,” he
cried. “Do come in. The light is quite perfect, and you can
bring your drinks.” |
|
[2.52] They rose up and sauntered
down the walk together. Two green-and-white butterflies fluttered
past them, and in the pear-tree at the corner of the garden a
thrush began to sing. |
|
[2.53] “You are glad you have
met me, Mr. Gray,” said Lord Henry, looking at him. |
|
[2.54] “Yes, I am glad now. I
wonder shall I always be glad?” |
|
[2.55] “Always! That is a
dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so
fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it
last for ever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only difference
between a caprice and a lifelong passion is that the caprice
lasts a little longer.” |
|
[2.56] As they entered the studio,
Dorian Gray put his hand upon Lord Henry’s arm. “In that
case, let our friendship be a caprice,” he murmured,
flushing at his own boldness, then stepped up on the platform and
resumed his pose. |
|
[2.57] Lord Henry flung himself into
a large wicker arm-chair and watched him. The sweep and dash of
the brush on the canvas made the only sound that broke the
stillness, except when, now and then, Hallward stepped back to
look at his work from a distance. In the slanting beams that
streamed through the open doorway the dust danced and was golden.
The heavy scent of the roses seemed to brood over everything. |
|
[2.58] After about a quarter of an
hour Hallward stopped painting, looked for a long time at Dorian
Gray, and then for a long time at the picture, biting the end of
one of his huge brushes and frowning. “It is quite
finished,” he cried at last, and stooping down he wrote his
name in long vermilion letters on the left-hand corner of the
canvas. |
|
[2.59] Lord Henry came over and
examined the picture. It was certainly a wonderful work of art,
and a wonderful likeness as well. |
|
[2.60] “My dear fellow, I
congratulate you most warmly,” he said. “It is the
finest portrait of modern times. Mr. Gray, come over and look at
yourself.” |
|
[2.61] The lad started, as if
awakened from some dream. |
|
[2.62] “Is it really
finished?” he murmured, stepping down from the
platform. |
|
[2.63] “Quite finished,”
said the painter. “And you have sat splendidly to-day. I am
awfully obliged to you.” |
|
[2.64] “That is entirely due to
me,” broke in Lord Henry. “Isn’t it, Mr.
Gray?” |
|
[2.65] Dorian made no answer, but
passed listlessly in front of his picture and turned towards it.
When he saw it he drew back, and his cheeks flushed for a moment
with pleasure. A look of joy came into his eyes, as if he had
recognized himself for the first time. He stood there motionless
and in wonder, dimly conscious that Hallward was speaking to him,
but not catching the meaning of his words. The sense of his own
beauty came on him like a revelation. He had never felt it
before. Basil Hallward’s compliments had seemed to him to be
merely the charming exaggeration of friendship. He had listened
to them, laughed at them, forgotten them. They had not influenced
his nature. Then had come Lord Henry Wotton with his strange
panegyric on youth, his terrible warning of its brevity. That had
stirred him at the time, and now, as he stood gazing at the
shadow of his own loveliness, the full reality of the description
flashed across him. Yes, there would be a day when his face would
be wrinkled and wizen, his eyes dim and colourless, the grace of
his figure broken and deformed. The scarlet would pass away from
his lips and the gold steal from his hair. The life that was to
make his soul would mar his body. He would become dreadful,
hideous, and uncouth. |
|
[2.66] As he thought of it, a sharp
pang of pain struck through him like a knife and made each
delicate fibre of his nature quiver. His eyes deepened into
amethyst, and across them came a mist of tears. He felt as if a
hand of ice had been laid upon his heart. |
|
[2.67] “Don’t you like
it?” cried Hallward at last, stung a little by the lad’s
silence, not understanding what it meant. |
|
[2.68] “Of course he likes
it,” said Lord Henry. “Who wouldn’t like it? It is
one of the greatest things in modern art. I will give you
anything you like to ask for it. I must have it.” |
|
[2.69] “It is not my property,
Harry.” |
|
[2.70] “Whose property is
it?” |
|
[2.71] “Dorian’s, of
course,” answered the painter. |
|
[2.72] “He is a very lucky
fellow.” |
|
[2.73] “How sad it is!”
murmured Dorian Gray with his eyes still fixed upon his own
portrait. “How sad it is! I shall grow old, and horrible,
and dreadful. But this picture will remain always young. It will
never be older than this particular day of
June. . . . If it were only the other way! If it
were I who was to be always young, and the picture that was to
grow old! For that—for that—I would give everything!
Yes, there is nothing in the whole world I would not give! I
would give my soul for that!” |
|
[2.74] “You would hardly care
for such an arrangement, Basil,” cried Lord Henry,
laughing. “It would be rather hard lines on your
work.” |
|
[2.75] “I should object very
strongly, Harry,” said Hallward. |
|
[2.76] Dorian Gray turned and looked
at him. “I believe you would, Basil. You like your art
better than your friends. I am no more to you than a green bronze
figure. Hardly as much, I dare say.” |
|
[2.77] The painter stared in
amazement. It was so unlike Dorian to speak like that. What had
happened? He seemed quite angry. His face was flushed and his
cheeks burning. |
|
[2.78] “Yes,” he
continued, “I am less to you than your ivory Hermes or your
silver Faun. You will like them always. How long will you like
me? Till I have my first wrinkle, I suppose. I know, now, that
when one loses one’s good looks, whatever they may be, one loses
everything. Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry Wotton is
perfectly right. Youth is the only thing worth having. When I
find that I am growing old, I shall kill myself.” |
|
[2.79] Hallward turned pale and
caught his hand. “Dorian! Dorian!” he cried,
“don’t talk like that. I have never had such a friend as
you, and I shall never have such another. You are not jealous of
material things, are you?—you who are finer than any of
them!” |
|
[2.80] “I am jealous of
everything whose beauty does not die. I am jealous of the
portrait you have painted of me. Why should it keep what I must
lose? Every moment that passes takes something from me and gives
something to it. Oh, if it were only the other way! If the
picture could change, and I could be always what I am now! Why
did you paint it? It will mock me some day—mock me
horribly!” The hot tears welled into his eyes; he tore his
hand away and, flinging himself on the divan, he buried his face
in the cushions, as though he was praying. |
|
[2.81] “This is your doing,
Harry,” said the painter bitterly. |
|
[2.82] Lord Henry shrugged his
shoulders. “It is the real Dorian Gray—that is
all.” |
|
[2.83] “It is not.” |
|
[2.84] “If it is not, what have
I to do with it?” |
|
[2.85] “You should have gone
away when I asked you,” he muttered. |
|
[2.86] “I stayed when you asked
me,” was Lord Henry’s answer. |
|
[2.87] “Harry, I can’t quarrel
with my two best friends at once, but between you both you have
made me hate the finest piece of work I have ever done, and I
will destroy it. What is it but canvas and colour? I will not let
it come across our three lives and mar them.” |
|
[2.88] Dorian Gray lifted his golden
head from the pillow, and with pallid face and tear-stained eyes,
looked at him as he walked over to the deal painting-table that
was set beneath the high curtained window. What was he doing
there? His fingers were straying about among the litter of tin
tubes and dry brushes, seeking for something. Yes, it was for the
long palette-knife, with its thin blade of lithe steel. He had
found it at last. He was going to rip up the canvas. |
|
[2.89] With a stifled sob the lad
leaped from the couch, and, rushing over to Hallward, tore the
knife out of his hand, and flung it to the end of the studio.
“Don’t, Basil, don’t!” he cried. “It would be
murder!” |
|
[2.90] “I am glad you
appreciate my work at last, Dorian,” said the painter
coldly when he had recovered from his surprise. “I never
thought you would.” |
|
[2.91] “Appreciate it? I am in
love with it, Basil. It is part of myself. I feel
that.” |
|
[2.92] “Well, as soon as you
are dry, you shall be varnished, and framed, and sent home. Then
you can do what you like with yourself.” And he walked
across the room and rang the bell for tea. “You will have
tea, of course, Dorian? And so will you, Harry? Or do you object
to such simple pleasures?” |
|
[2.93] “I adore simple
pleasures,” said Lord Henry. “They are the last
refuge of the complex. But I don’t like scenes, except on the
stage. What absurd fellows you are, both of you! I wonder who it
was defined man as a rational animal. It was the most premature
definition ever given. Man is many things, but he is not
rational. I am glad he is not, after all—though I wish you
chaps would not squabble over the picture. You had much better
let me have it, Basil. This silly boy doesn’t really want it, and
I really do.” |
|
[2.94] “If you let any one have
it but me, Basil, I shall never forgive you!” cried Dorian
Gray; “and I don’t allow people to call me a silly
boy.” |
|
[2.95] “You know the picture is
yours, Dorian. I gave it to you before it existed.” |
|
[2.96] “And you know you have
been a little silly, Mr. Gray, and that you don’t really object
to being reminded that you are extremely young.” |
|
[2.97] “I should have objected
very strongly this morning, Lord Henry.” |
|
[2.98] “Ah! this morning! You
have lived since then.” |
|
[2.99] There came a knock at the
door, and the butler entered with a laden tea-tray and set it
down upon a small Japanese table. There was a rattle of cups and
saucers and the hissing of a fluted Georgian urn. Two
globe-shaped china dishes were brought in by a page. Dorian Gray
went over and poured out the tea. The two men sauntered languidly
to the table and examined what was under the covers. |
|
[2.100] “Let us go to the
theatre to-night,” said Lord Henry. “There is sure to
be something on, somewhere. I have promised to dine at White’s,
but it is only with an old friend, so I can send him a wire to
say that I am ill, or that I am prevented from coming in
consequence of a subsequent engagement. I think that would be a
rather nice excuse: it would have all the surprise of
candour.” |
|
[2.101] “It is such a bore
putting on one’s dress-clothes,” muttered Hallward.
“And, when one has them on, they are so horrid.” |
|
[2.102] “Yes,” answered
Lord Henry dreamily, “the costume of the nineteenth century
is detestable. It is so sombre, so depressing. Sin is the only
real colour-element left in modern life.” |
|
[2.103] “You really must not
say things like that before Dorian, Harry.” |
|
[2.104] “Before which Dorian?
The one who is pouring out tea for us, or the one in the
picture?” |
|
[2.105] “Before
either.” |
|
[2.106] “I should like to come
to the theatre with you, Lord Henry,” said the lad. |
|
[2.107] “Then you shall come;
and you will come, too, Basil, won’t you?” |
|
[2.108] “I can’t, really. I
would sooner not. I have a lot of work to do.” |
|
[2.109] “Well, then, you and I
will go alone, Mr. Gray.” |
|
[2.110] “I should like that
awfully.” |
|
[2.111] The painter bit his lip and
walked over, cup in hand, to the picture. “I shall stay
with the real Dorian,” he said, sadly. |
|
[2.112] “Is it the real
Dorian?” cried the original of the portrait, strolling
across to him. “Am I really like that?” |
|
[2.113] “Yes; you are just like
that.” |
|
[2.114] “How wonderful,
Basil!” |
|
[2.115] “At least you are like
it in appearance. But it will never alter,” sighed
Hallward. “That is something.” |
|
[2.116] “What a fuss people
make about fidelity!” exclaimed Lord Henry. “Why,
even in love it is purely a question for physiology. It has
nothing to do with our own will. Young men want to be faithful,
and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot: that is
all one can say.” |
|
[2.117] “Don’t go to the
theatre to-night, Dorian,” said Hallward. “Stop and
dine with me.” |
|
[2.118] “I can’t,
Basil.” |
|
[2.119] “Why?” |
|
[2.120] “Because I have
promised Lord Henry Wotton to go with him.” |
|
[2.121] “He won’t like you the
better for keeping your promises. He always breaks his own. I beg
you not to go.” |
|
[2.122] Dorian Gray laughed and shook
his head. |
|
[2.123] “I entreat
you.” |
|
[2.124] The lad hesitated, and looked
over at Lord Henry, who was watching them from the tea-table with
an amused smile. |
|
[2.125] “I must go,
Basil,” he answered. |
|
[2.126] “Very well,” said
Hallward, and he went over and laid down his cup on the tray.
“It is rather late, and, as you have to dress, you had
better lose no time. Good-bye, Harry. Good-bye, Dorian. Come and
see me soon. Come to-morrow.” |
|
[2.127] “Certainly.” |
|
[2.128] “You won’t
forget?” |
|
[2.129] “No, of course
not,” cried Dorian. |
|
[2.130] “And . . .
Harry!” |
|
[2.131] “Yes, Basil?” |
|
[2.132] “Remember what I asked
you, when we were in the garden this morning.” |
|
[2.133] “I have forgotten
it.” |
|
[2.134] “I trust
you.” |
|
[2.135] “I wish I could trust
myself,” said Lord Henry, laughing. “Come, Mr. Gray,
my hansom is outside, and I can drop you at your own place.
Good-bye, Basil. It has been a most interesting
afternoon.” |
|
[2.136] As the door closed behind
them, the painter flung himself down on a sofa, and a look of
pain came into his face. |
|
|
|
Chapter 3 |
|
[3.1] At half-past twelve next day
Lord Henry Wotton strolled from Curzon Street over to the Albany
to call on his uncle, Lord Fermor, a genial if somewhat
rough-mannered old bachelor, whom the outside world called
selfish because it derived no particular benefit from him, but
who was considered generous by Society as he fed the people who
amused him. His father had been our ambassador at Madrid when
Isabella was young and Prim unthought of, but had retired from
the diplomatic service in a capricious moment of annoyance on not
being offered the Embassy at Paris, a post to which he considered
that he was fully entitled by reason of his birth, his indolence,
the good English of his dispatches, and his inordinate passion
for pleasure. The son, who had been his father’s secretary, had
resigned along with his chief, somewhat foolishly as was thought
at the time, and on succeeding some months later to the title,
had set himself to the serious study of the great aristocratic
art of doing absolutely nothing. He had two large town houses,
but preferred to live in chambers as it was less trouble, and
took most of his meals at his club. He paid some attention to the
management of his collieries in the Midland counties, excusing
himself for this taint of industry on the ground that the one
advantage of having coal was that it enabled a gentleman to
afford the decency of burning wood on his own hearth. In politics
he was a Tory, except when the Tories were in office, during
which period he roundly abused them for being a pack of Radicals.
He was a hero to his valet, who bullied him, and a terror to most
of his relations, whom he bullied in turn. Only England could
have produced him, and he always said that the country was going
to the dogs. His principles were out of date, but there was a
good deal to be said for his prejudices. |
|
[3.2] When Lord Henry entered the
room, he found his uncle sitting in a rough shooting-coat,
smoking a cheroot and grumbling over The Times.
“Well, Harry,” said the old gentleman, “what
brings you out so early? I thought you dandies never got up till
two, and were not visible till five.” |
|
[3.3] “Pure family affection, I
assure you, Uncle George. I want to get something out of
you.” |
|
[3.4] “Money, I suppose,”
said Lord Fermor, making a wry face. “Well, sit down and
tell me all about it. Young people, nowadays, imagine that money
is everything.” |
|
[3.5] “Yes,” murmured
Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; “and when
they grow older they know it. But I don’t want money. It is only
people who pay their bills who want that, Uncle George, and I
never pay mine. Credit is the capital of a younger son, and one
lives charmingly upon it. Besides, I always deal with Dartmoor’s
tradesmen, and consequently they never bother me. What I want is
information: not useful information, of course; useless
information.” |
|
[3.6] “Well, I can tell you
anything that is in an English Blue Book, Harry, although those
fellows nowadays write a lot of nonsense. When I was in the
Diplomatic, things were much better. But I hear they let them in
now by examination. What can you expect? Examinations, sir, are
pure humbug from beginning to end. If a man is a gentleman, he
knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he
knows is bad for him.” |
|
[3.7] “Mr. Dorian Gray does not
belong to Blue Books, Uncle George,” said Lord Henry
languidly. |
|
[3.8] “Mr. Dorian Gray? Who is
he?” asked Lord Fermor, knitting his bushy white
eyebrows. |
|
[3.9] “That is what I have come
to learn, Uncle George. Or rather, I know who he is. He is the
last Lord Kelso’s grandson. His mother was a Devereux, Lady
Margaret Devereux. I want you to tell me about his mother. What
was she like? Whom did she marry? You have known nearly everybody
in your time, so you might have known her. I am very much
interested in Mr. Gray at present. I have only just met
him.” |
|
[3.10] “Kelso’s
grandson!” echoed the old gentleman. “Kelso’s
grandson! . . . Of course. . . . I knew
his mother intimately. I believe I was at her christening. She
was an extraordinarily beautiful girl, Margaret Devereux, and
made all the men frantic by running away with a penniless young
fellow—a mere nobody, sir, a subaltern in a foot regiment,
or something of that kind. Certainly. I remember the whole thing
as if it happened yesterday. The poor chap was killed in a duel
at Spa a few months after the marriage. There was an ugly story
about it. They said Kelso got some rascally adventurer, some
Belgian brute, to insult his son-in-law in public—paid him,
sir, to do it, paid him—and that the fellow spitted his man
as if he had been a pigeon. The thing was hushed up, but, egad,
Kelso ate his chop alone at the club for some time afterwards. He
brought his daughter back with him, I was told, and she never
spoke to him again. Oh, yes; it was a bad business. The girl
died, too, died within a year. So she left a son, did she? I had
forgotten that. What sort of boy is he? If he is like his mother,
he must be a good-looking chap.” |
|
[3.11] “He is very
good-looking,” assented Lord Henry. |
|
[3.12] “I hope he will fall
into proper hands,” continued the old man. “He should
have a pot of money waiting for him if Kelso did the right thing
by him. His mother had money, too. All the Selby property came to
her, through her grandfather. Her grandfather hated Kelso,
thought him a mean dog. He was, too. Came to Madrid once when I
was there. Egad, I was ashamed of him. The Queen used to ask me
about the English noble who was always quarrelling with the
cabmen about their fares. They made quite a story of it. I didn’t
dare show my face at Court for a month. I hope he treated his
grandson better than he did the jarvies.” |
|
[3.13] “I don’t know,”
answered Lord Henry. “I fancy that the boy will be well
off. He is not of age yet. He has Selby, I know. He told me so.
And . . . his mother was very beautiful?” |
|
[3.14] “Margaret Devereux was
one of the loveliest creatures I ever saw, Harry. What on earth
induced her to behave as she did, I never could understand. She
could have married anybody she chose. Carlington was mad after
her. She was romantic, though. All the women of that family were.
The men were a poor lot, but, egad! the women were wonderful.
Carlington went on his knees to her. Told me so himself. She
laughed at him, and there wasn’t a girl in London at the time who
wasn’t after him. And by the way, Harry, talking about silly
marriages, what is this humbug your father tells me about
Dartmoor wanting to marry an American? Ain’t English girls good
enough for him?” |
|
[3.15] “It is rather
fashionable to marry Americans just now, Uncle George.” |
|
[3.16] “I’ll back English women
against the world, Harry,” said Lord Fermor, striking the
table with his fist. |
|
[3.17] “The betting is on the
Americans.” |
|
[3.18] “They don’t last, I am
told,” muttered his uncle. |
|
[3.19] “A long engagement
exhausts them, but they are capital at a steeplechase. They take
things flying. I don’t think Dartmoor has a chance.” |
|
[3.20] “Who are her
people?” grumbled the old gentleman. “Has she got
any?” |
|
[3.21] Lord Henry shook his head.
“American girls are as clever at concealing their parents,
as English women are at concealing their past,” he said,
rising to go. |
|
[3.22] “They are pork-packers,
I suppose?” |
|
[3.23] “I hope so, Uncle
George, for Dartmoor’s sake. I am told that pork-packing is the
most lucrative profession in America, after politics.” |
|
[3.24] “Is she
pretty?” |
|
[3.25] “She behaves as if she
was beautiful. Most American women do. It is the secret of their
charm.” |
|
[3.26] “Why can’t these
American women stay in their own country? They are always telling
us that it is the paradise for women.” |
|
[3.27] “It is. That is the
reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out
of it,” said Lord Henry. “Good-bye, Uncle George. I
shall be late for lunch, if I stop any longer. Thanks for giving
me the information I wanted. I always like to know everything
about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.” |
|
[3.28] “Where are you lunching,
Harry?” |
|
[3.29] “At Aunt Agatha’s. I
have asked myself and Mr. Gray. He is her latest
protégé.” |
|
[3.30] “Humph! tell your Aunt
Agatha, Harry, not to bother me any more with her charity
appeals. I am sick of them. Why, the good woman thinks that I
have nothing to do but to write cheques for her silly
fads.” |
|
[3.31] “All right, Uncle
George, I’ll tell her, but it won’t have any effect.
Philanthropic people lose all sense of humanity. It is their
distinguishing characteristic.” |
|
[3.32] The old gentleman growled
approvingly and rang the bell for his servant. Lord Henry passed
up the low arcade into Burlington Street and turned his steps in
the direction of Berkeley Square. |
|
[3.33] So that was the story of
Dorian Gray’s parentage. Crudely as it had been told to him, it
had yet stirred him by its suggestion of a strange, almost modern
romance. A beautiful woman risking everything for a mad passion.
A few wild weeks of happiness cut short by a hideous, treacherous
crime. Months of voiceless agony, and then a child born in pain.
The mother snatched away by death, the boy left to solitude and
the tyranny of an old and loveless man. Yes; it was an
interesting background. It posed the lad, made him more perfect,
as it were. Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was
something tragic. Worlds had to be in travail, that the meanest
flower might blow. . . . And how charming he had
been at dinner the night before, as with startled eyes and lips
parted in frightened pleasure he had sat opposite to him at the
club, the red candleshades staining to a richer rose the wakening
wonder of his face. Talking to him was like playing upon an
exquisite violin. He answered to every touch and thrill of the
bow. . . . There was something terribly
enthralling in the exercise of influence. No other activity was
like it. To project one’s soul into some gracious form, and let
it tarry there for a moment; to hear one’s own intellectual views
echoed back to one with all the added music of passion and youth;
to convey one’s temperament into another as though it were a
subtle fluid or a strange perfume: there was a real joy in
that—perhaps the most satisfying joy left to us in an age
so limited and vulgar as our own, an age grossly carnal in its
pleasures, and grossly common in its aims. . . .
He was a marvellous type, too, this lad, whom by so curious a
chance he had met in Basil’s studio, or could be fashioned into a
marvellous type, at any rate. Grace was his, and the white purity
of boyhood, and beauty such as old Greek marbles kept for us.
There was nothing that one could not do with him. He could be
made a Titan or a toy. What a pity it was that such beauty was
destined to fade! . . . And Basil? From a psychological
point of view, how interesting he was! The new manner in art, the
fresh mode of looking at life, suggested so strangely by the
merely visible presence of one who was unconscious of it all; the
silent spirit that dwelt in dim woodland, and walked unseen in
open field, suddenly showing herself, Dryadlike and not afraid,
because in his soul who sought for her there had been wakened
that wonderful vision to which alone are wonderful things
revealed; the mere shapes and patterns of things becoming, as it
were, refined, and gaining a kind of symbolical value, as though
they were themselves patterns of some other and more perfect form
whose shadow they made real: how strange it all was! He
remembered something like it in history. Was it not Plato, that
artist in thought, who had first analyzed it? Was it not
Buonarotti who had carved it in the coloured marbles of a
sonnet-sequence? But in our own century it was
strange. . . . Yes; he would try to be to Dorian
Gray what, without knowing it, the lad was to the painter who had
fashioned the wonderful portrait. He would seek to dominate
him—had already, indeed, half done so. He would make that
wonderful spirit his own. There was something fascinating in this
son of love and death. |
|
[3.34] Suddenly he stopped and
glanced up at the houses. He found that he had passed his aunt’s
some distance, and, smiling to himself, turned back. When he
entered the somewhat sombre hall, the butler told him that they
had gone in to lunch. He gave one of the footmen his hat and
stick and passed into the dining-room. |
|
[3.35] “Late as usual,
Harry,” cried his aunt, shaking her head at him. |
|
[3.36] He invented a facile excuse,
and having taken the vacant seat next to her, looked round to see
who was there. Dorian bowed to him shyly from the end of the
table, a flush of pleasure stealing into his cheek. Opposite was
the Duchess of Harley, a lady of admirable good-nature and good
temper, much liked by every one who knew her, and of those ample
architectural proportions that in women who are not duchesses are
described by contemporary historians as stoutness. Next to her
sat, on her right, Sir Thomas Burdon, a Radical member of
Parliament, who followed his leader in public life and in private
life followed the best cooks, dining with the Tories and thinking
with the Liberals, in accordance with a wise and well-known rule.
The post on her left was occupied by Mr. Erskine of Treadley, an
old gentleman of considerable charm and culture, who had fallen,
however, into bad habits of silence, having, as he explained once
to Lady Agatha, said everything that he had to say before he was
thirty. His own neighbour was Mrs. Vandeleur, one of his aunt’s
oldest friends, a perfect saint amongst women, but so dreadfully
dowdy that she reminded one of a badly bound hymn-book.
Fortunately for him she had on the other side Lord Faudel, a most
intelligent middle-aged mediocrity, as bald as a ministerial
statement in the House of Commons, with whom she was conversing
in that intensely earnest manner which is the one unpardonable
error, as he remarked once himself, that all really good people
fall into, and from which none of them ever quite escape. |
|
[3.37] “We are talking about
poor Dartmoor, Lord Henry,” cried the duchess, nodding
pleasantly to him across the table. “Do you think he will
really marry this fascinating young person?” |
|
[3.38] “I believe she has made
up her mind to propose to him, Duchess.” |
|
[3.39] “How dreadful!”
exclaimed Lady Agatha. “Really, some one should
interfere.” |
|
[3.40] “I am told, on excellent
authority, that her father keeps an American dry-goods
store,” said Sir Thomas Burdon, looking supercilious. |
|
[3.41] “My uncle has already
suggested pork-packing, Sir Thomas.” |
|
[3.42] “Dry-goods! What are
American dry-goods?” asked the duchess, raising her large
hands in wonder and accentuating the verb. |
|
[3.43] “American novels,”
answered Lord Henry, helping himself to some quail. |
|
[3.44] The duchess looked
puzzled. |
|
[3.45] “Don’t mind him, my
dear,” whispered Lady Agatha. “He never means
anything that he says.” |
|
[3.46] “When America was
discovered,” said the Radical member—and he began to
give some wearisome facts. Like all people who try to exhaust a
subject, he exhausted his listeners. The duchess sighed and
exercised her privilege of interruption. “I wish to
goodness it never had been discovered at all!” she
exclaimed. “Really, our girls have no chance nowadays. It
is most unfair.” |
|
[3.47] “Perhaps, after all,
America never has been discovered,” said Mr. Erskine;
“I myself would say that it had merely been
detected.” |
|
[3.48] “Oh! but I have seen
specimens of the inhabitants,” answered the duchess
vaguely. “I must confess that most of them are extremely
pretty. And they dress well, too. They get all their dresses in
Paris. I wish I could afford to do the same.” |
|
[3.49] “They say that when good
Americans die they go to Paris,” chuckled Sir Thomas, who
had a large wardrobe of Humour’s cast-off clothes. |
|
[3.50] “Really! And where do
bad Americans go to when they die?” inquired the
duchess. |
|
[3.51] “They go to
America,” murmured Lord Henry. |
|
[3.52] Sir Thomas frowned. “I
am afraid that your nephew is prejudiced against that great
country,” he said to Lady Agatha. “I have travelled
all over it in cars provided by the directors, who, in such
matters, are extremely civil. I assure you that it is an
education to visit it.” |
|
[3.53] “But must we really see
Chicago in order to be educated?” asked Mr. Erskine
plaintively. “I don’t feel up to the journey.” |
|
[3.54] Sir Thomas waved his hand.
“Mr. Erskine of Treadley has the world on his shelves. We
practical men like to see things, not to read about them. The
Americans are an extremely interesting people. They are
absolutely reasonable. I think that is their distinguishing
characteristic. Yes, Mr. Erskine, an absolutely reasonable
people. I assure you there is no nonsense about the
Americans.” |
|
[3.55] “How dreadful!”
cried Lord Henry. “I can stand brute force, but brute
reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its
use. It is hitting below the intellect.” |
|
[3.56] “I do not understand
you,” said Sir Thomas, growing rather red. |
|
[3.57] “I do, Lord
Henry,” murmured Mr. Erskine, with a smile. |
|
[3.58] “Paradoxes are all very
well in their way. . . .” rejoined the
baronet. |
|
[3.59] “Was that a
paradox?” asked Mr. Erskine. “I did not think so.
Perhaps it was. Well, the way of paradoxes is the way of truth.
To test reality we must see it on the tight rope. When the
verities become acrobats, we can judge them.” |
|
[3.60] “Dear me!” said
Lady Agatha, “how you men argue! I am sure I never can make
out what you are talking about. Oh! Harry, I am quite vexed with
you. Why do you try to persuade our nice Mr. Dorian Gray to give
up the East End? I assure you he would be quite invaluable. They
would love his playing.” |
|
[3.61] “I want him to play to
me,” cried Lord Henry, smiling, and he looked down the
table and caught a bright answering glance. |
|
[3.62] “But they are so unhappy
in Whitechapel,” continued Lady Agatha. |
|
[3.63] “I can sympathize with
everything except suffering,” said Lord Henry, shrugging
his shoulders. “I cannot sympathize with that. It is too
ugly, too horrible, too distressing. There is something terribly
morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathize
with the colour, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about
life’s sores, the better.” |
|
[3.64] “Still, the East End is
a very important problem,” remarked Sir Thomas with a grave
shake of the head. |
|
[3.65] “Quite so,”
answered the young lord. “It is the problem of slavery, and
we try to solve it by amusing the slaves.” |
|
[3.66] The politician looked at him
keenly. “What change do you propose, then?” he
asked. |
|
[3.67] Lord Henry laughed. “I
don’t desire to change anything in England except the
weather,” he answered. “I am quite content with
philosophic contemplation. But, as the nineteenth century has
gone bankrupt through an over-expenditure of sympathy, I would
suggest that we should appeal to science to put us straight. The
advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray, and the
advantage of science is that it is not emotional.” |
|
[3.68] “But we have such grave
responsibilities,” ventured Mrs. Vandeleur timidly. |
|
[3.69] “Terribly grave,”
echoed Lady Agatha. |
|
[3.70] Lord Henry looked over at Mr.
Erskine. “Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the
world’s original sin. If the caveman had known how to laugh,
history would have been different.” |
|
[3.71] “You are really very
comforting,” warbled the duchess. “I have always felt
rather guilty when I came to see your dear aunt, for I take no
interest at all in the East End. For the future I shall be able
to look her in the face without a blush.” |
|
[3.72] “A blush is very
becoming, Duchess,” remarked Lord Henry. |
|
[3.73] “Only when one is
young,” she answered. “When an old woman like myself
blushes, it is a very bad sign. Ah! Lord Henry, I wish you would
tell me how to become young again.” |
|
[3.74] He thought for a moment.
“Can you remember any great error that you committed in
your early days, Duchess?” he asked, looking at her across
the table. |
|
[3.75] “A great many, I
fear,” she cried. |
|
[3.76] “Then commit them over
again,” he said gravely. “To get back one’s youth,
one has merely to repeat one’s follies.” |
|
[3.77] “A delightful
theory!” she exclaimed. “I must put it into
practice.” |
|
[3.78] “A dangerous
theory!” came from Sir Thomas’s tight lips. Lady Agatha
shook her head, but could not help being amused. Mr. Erskine
listened. |
|
[3.79] “Yes,” he
continued, “that is one of the great secrets of life.
Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and
discover when it is too late that the only things one never
regrets are one’s mistakes.” |
|
[3.80] A laugh ran round the
table. |
|
[3.81] He played with the idea and
grew wilful; tossed it into the air and transformed it; let it
escape and recaptured it; made it iridescent with fancy and
winged it with paradox. The praise of folly, as he went on,
soared into a philosophy, and philosophy herself became young,
and catching the mad music of pleasure, wearing, one might fancy,
her wine-stained robe and wreath of ivy, danced like a Bacchante
over the hills of life, and mocked the slow Silenus for being
sober. Facts fled before her like frightened forest things. Her
white feet trod the huge press at which wise Omar sits, till the
seething grape-juice rose round her bare limbs in waves of purple
bubbles, or crawled in red foam over the vat’s black, dripping,
sloping sides. It was an extraordinary improvisation. He felt
that the eyes of Dorian Gray were fixed on him, and the
consciousness that amongst his audience there was one whose
temperament he wished to fascinate seemed to give his wit
keenness and to lend colour to his imagination. He was brilliant,
fantastic, irresponsible. He charmed his listeners out of
themselves, and they followed his pipe, laughing. Dorian Gray
never took his gaze off him, but sat like one under a spell,
smiles chasing each other over his lips and wonder growing grave
in his darkening eyes. |
|
[3.82] At last, liveried in the
costume of the age, reality entered the room in the shape of a
servant to tell the duchess that her carriage was waiting. She
wrung her hands in mock despair. “How annoying!” she
cried. “I must go. I have to call for my husband at the
club, to take him to some absurd meeting at Willis’s Rooms, where
he is going to be in the chair. If I am late he is sure to be
furious, and I couldn’t have a scene in this bonnet. It is far
too fragile. A harsh word would ruin it. No, I must go, dear
Agatha. Good-bye, Lord Henry, you are quite delightful and
dreadfully demoralizing. I am sure I don’t know what to say about
your views. You must come and dine with us some night. Tuesday?
Are you disengaged Tuesday?” |
|
[3.83] “For you I would throw
over anybody, Duchess,” said Lord Henry with a bow. |
|
[3.84] “Ah! that is very nice,
and very wrong of you,” she cried; “so mind you
come”; and she swept out of the room, followed by Lady
Agatha and the other ladies. |
|
[3.85] When Lord Henry had sat down
again, Mr. Erskine moved round, and taking a chair close to him,
placed his hand upon his arm. |
|
[3.86] “You talk books
away,” he said; “why don’t you write one?” |
|
[3.87] “I am too fond of
reading books to care to write them, Mr. Erskine. I should like
to write a novel certainly, a novel that would be as lovely as a
Persian carpet and as unreal. But there is no literary public in
England for anything except newspapers, primers, and
encyclopaedias. Of all people in the world the English have the
least sense of the beauty of literature.” |
|
[3.88] “I fear you are
right,” answered Mr. Erskine. “I myself used to have
literary ambitions, but I gave them up long ago. And now, my dear
young friend, if you will allow me to call you so, may I ask if
you really meant all that you said to us at lunch?” |
|
[3.89] “I quite forget what I
said,” smiled Lord Henry. “Was it all very
bad?” |
|
[3.90] “Very bad indeed. In
fact I consider you extremely dangerous, and if anything happens
to our good duchess, we shall all look on you as being primarily
responsible. But I should like to talk to you about life. The
generation into which I was born was tedious. Some day, when you
are tired of London, come down to Treadley and expound to me your
philosophy of pleasure over some admirable Burgundy I am
fortunate enough to possess.” |
|
[3.91] “I shall be charmed. A
visit to Treadley would be a great privilege. It has a perfect
host, and a perfect library.” |
|
[3.92] “You will complete
it,” answered the old gentleman with a courteous bow.
“And now I must bid good-bye to your excellent aunt. I am
due at the Athenaeum. It is the hour when we sleep
there.” |
|
[3.93] “All of you, Mr.
Erskine?” |
|
[3.94] “Forty of us, in forty
arm-chairs. We are practising for an English Academy of
Letters.” |
|
[3.95] Lord Henry laughed and rose.
“I am going to the park,” he cried. |
|
[3.96] As he was passing out of the
door, Dorian Gray touched him on the arm. “Let me come with
you,” he murmured. |
|
[3.97] “But I thought you had
promised Basil Hallward to go and see him,” answered Lord
Henry. |
|
[3.98] “I would sooner come
with you; yes, I feel I must come with you. Do let me. And you
will promise to talk to me all the time? No one talks so
wonderfully as you do.” |
|
[3.99] “Ah! I have talked quite
enough for to-day,” said Lord Henry, smiling. “All I
want now is to look at life. You may come and look at it with me,
if you care to.” |
|
|
|
Chapter 4 |
|
[4.1] One afternoon, a month later,
Dorian Gray was reclining in a luxurious arm-chair, in the little
library of Lord Henry’s house in Mayfair. It was, in its way, a
very charming room, with its high panelled wainscoting of
olive-stained oak, its cream-coloured frieze and ceiling of
raised plasterwork, and its brickdust felt carpet strewn with
silk, long-fringed Persian rugs. On a tiny satinwood table stood
a statuette by Clodion, and beside it lay a copy of Les Cent
Nouvelles, bound for Margaret of Valois by Clovis Eve and
powdered with the gilt daisies that Queen had selected for her
device. Some large blue china jars and parrot-tulips were ranged
on the mantelshelf, and through the small leaded panes of the
window streamed the apricot-coloured light of a summer day in
London. |
|
[4.2] Lord Henry had not yet come in.
He was always late on principle, his principle being that
punctuality is the thief of time. So the lad was looking rather
sulky, as with listless fingers he turned over the pages of an
elaborately illustrated edition of Manon Lescaut that he had
found in one of the book-cases. The formal monotonous ticking of
the Louis Quatorze clock annoyed him. Once or twice he thought of
going away. |
|
[4.3] At last he heard a step
outside, and the door opened. “How late you are,
Harry!” he murmured. |
|
[4.4] “I am afraid it is not
Harry, Mr. Gray,” answered a shrill voice. |
|
[4.5] He glanced quickly round and
rose to his feet. “I beg your pardon. I
thought——” |
|
[4.6] “You thought it was my
husband. It is only his wife. You must let me introduce myself. I
know you quite well by your photographs. I think my husband has
got seventeen of them.” |
|
[4.7] “Not seventeen, Lady
Henry?” |
|
[4.8] “Well, eighteen, then.
And I saw you with him the other night at the opera.” She
laughed nervously as she spoke, and watched him with her vague
forget-me-not eyes. She was a curious woman, whose dresses always
looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a
tempest. She was usually in love with somebody, and, as her
passion was never returned, she had kept all her illusions. She
tried to look picturesque, but only succeeded in being untidy.
Her name was Victoria, and she had a perfect mania for going to
church. |
|
[4.9] “That was at Lohengrin,
Lady Henry, I think?” |
|
[4.10] “Yes; it was at dear
Lohengrin. I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s. It is so
loud that one can talk the whole time without other people
hearing what one says. That is a great advantage, don’t you think
so, Mr. Gray?” |
|
[4.11] The same nervous staccato
laugh broke from her thin lips, and her fingers began to play
with a long tortoise-shell paper-knife. |
|
[4.12] Dorian smiled and shook his
head: “I am afraid I don’t think so, Lady Henry. I never
talk during music—at least, during good music. If one hears
bad music, it is one’s duty to drown it in
conversation.” |
|
[4.13] “Ah! that is one of
Harry’s views, isn’t it, Mr. Gray? I always hear Harry’s views
from his friends. It is the only way I get to know of them. But
you must not think I don’t like good music. I adore it, but I am
afraid of it. It makes me too romantic. I have simply worshipped
pianists—two at a time, sometimes, Harry tells me. I don’t
know what it is about them. Perhaps it is that they are
foreigners. They all are, ain’t they? Even those that are born in
England become foreigners after a time, don’t they? It is so
clever of them, and such a compliment to art. Makes it quite
cosmopolitan, doesn’t it? You have never been to any of my
parties, have you, Mr. Gray? You must come. I can’t afford
orchids, but I spare no expense in foreigners. They make one’s
rooms look so picturesque. But here is Harry! Harry, I came in to
look for you, to ask you something—I forget what it
was—and I found Mr. Gray here. We have had such a pleasant
chat about music. We have quite the same ideas. No; I think our
ideas are quite different. But he has been most pleasant. I am so
glad I’ve seen him.” |
|
[4.14] “I am charmed, my love,
quite charmed,” said Lord Henry, elevating his dark,
crescent-shaped eyebrows and looking at them both with an amused
smile. “So sorry I am late, Dorian. I went to look after a
piece of old brocade in Wardour Street and had to bargain for
hours for it. Nowadays people know the price of everything and
the value of nothing.” |
|
[4.15] “I am afraid I must be
going,” exclaimed Lady Henry, breaking an awkward silence
with her silly sudden laugh. “I have promised to drive with
the duchess. Good-bye, Mr. Gray. Good-bye, Harry. You are dining
out, I suppose? So am I. Perhaps I shall see you at Lady
Thornbury’s.” |
|
[4.16] “I dare say, my
dear,” said Lord Henry, shutting the door behind her as,
looking like a bird of paradise that had been out all night in
the rain, she flitted out of the room, leaving a faint odour of
frangipanni. Then he lit a cigarette and flung himself down on
the sofa. |
|
[4.17] “Never marry a woman
with straw-coloured hair, Dorian,” he said after a few
puffs. |
|
[4.18] “Why, Harry?” |
|
[4.19] “Because they are so
sentimental.” |
|
[4.20] “But I like sentimental
people.” |
|
[4.21] “Never marry at all,
Dorian. Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are
curious: both are disappointed.” |
|
[4.22] “I don’t think I am
likely to marry, Harry. I am too much in love. That is one of
your aphorisms. I am putting it into practice, as I do everything
that you say.” |
|
[4.23] “Who are you in love
with?” asked Lord Henry after a pause. |
|
[4.24] “With an actress,”
said Dorian Gray, blushing. |
|
[4.25] Lord Henry shrugged his
shoulders. “That is a rather commonplace
début.” |
|
[4.26] “You would not say so if
you saw her, Harry.” |
|
[4.27] “Who is she?” |
|
[4.28] “Her name is Sibyl
Vane.” |
|
[4.29] “Never heard of
her.” |
|
[4.30] “No one has. People will
some day, however. She is a genius.” |
|
[4.31] “My dear boy, no woman
is a genius. Women are a decorative sex. They never have anything
to say, but they say it charmingly. Women represent the triumph
of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind
over morals.” |
|
[4.32] “Harry, how can
you?” |
|
[4.33] “My dear Dorian, it is
quite true. I am analysing women at present, so I ought to know.
The subject is not so abstruse as I thought it was. I find that,
ultimately, there are only two kinds of women, the plain and the
coloured. The plain women are very useful. If you want to gain a
reputation for respectability, you have merely to take them down
to supper. The other women are very charming. They commit one
mistake, however. They paint in order to try and look young. Our
grandmothers painted in order to try and talk brilliantly.
Rouge and esprit used to go together. That is
all over now. As long as a woman can look ten years younger than
her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. As for
conversation, there are only five women in London worth talking
to, and two of these can’t be admitted into decent society.
However, tell me about your genius. How long have you known
her?” |
|
[4.34] “Ah! Harry, your views
terrify me.” |
|
[4.35] “Never mind that. How
long have you known her?” |
|
[4.36] “About three
weeks.” |
|
[4.37] “And where did you come
across her?” |
|
[4.38] “I will tell you, Harry,
but you mustn’t be unsympathetic about it. After all, it never
would have happened if I had not met you. You filled me with a
wild desire to know everything about life. For days after I met
you, something seemed to throb in my veins. As I lounged in the
park, or strolled down Piccadilly, I used to look at every one
who passed me and wonder, with a mad curiosity, what sort of
lives they led. Some of them fascinated me. Others filled me with
terror. There was an exquisite poison in the air. I had a passion
for sensations. . . . Well, one evening about
seven o’clock, I determined to go out in search of some
adventure. I felt that this grey monstrous London of ours, with
its myriads of people, its sordid sinners, and its splendid sins,
as you once phrased it, must have something in store for me. I
fancied a thousand things. The mere danger gave me a sense of
delight. I remembered what you had said to me on that wonderful
evening when we first dined together, about the search for beauty
being the real secret of life. I don’t know what I expected, but
I went out and wandered eastward, soon losing my way in a
labyrinth of grimy streets and black grassless squares. About
half-past eight I passed by an absurd little theatre, with great
flaring gas-jets and gaudy play-bills. A hideous Jew, in the most
amazing waistcoat I ever beheld in my life, was standing at the
entrance, smoking a vile cigar. He had greasy ringlets, and an
enormous diamond blazed in the centre of a soiled shirt.
‘Have a box, my Lord?’ he said, when he saw me, and
he took off his hat with an air of gorgeous servility. There was
something about him, Harry, that amused me. He was such a
monster. You will laugh at me, I know, but I really went in and
paid a whole guinea for the stage-box. To the present day I can’t
make out why I did so; and yet if I hadn’t—my dear Harry,
if I hadn’t—I should have missed the greatest romance of my
life. I see you are laughing. It is horrid of you!” |
|
[4.39] “I am not laughing,
Dorian; at least I am not laughing at you. But you should not say
the greatest romance of your life. You should say the first
romance of your life. You will always be loved, and you will
always be in love with love. A grande passion is the
privilege of people who have nothing to do. That is the one use
of the idle classes of a country. Don’t be afraid. There are
exquisite things in store for you. This is merely the
beginning.” |
|
[4.40] “Do you think my nature
so shallow?” cried Dorian Gray angrily. |
|
[4.41] “No; I think your nature
so deep.” |
|
[4.42] “How do you
mean?” |
|
[4.43] “My dear boy, the people
who love only once in their lives are really the shallow people.
What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either
the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination. Faithfulness
is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the
intellect—simply a confession of failure. Faithfulness! I
must analyse it some day. The passion for property is in it.
There are many things that we would throw away if we were not
afraid that others might pick them up. But I don’t want to
interrupt you. Go on with your story.” |
|
[4.44] “Well, I found myself
seated in a horrid little private box, with a vulgar drop-scene
staring me in the face. I looked out from behind the curtain and
surveyed the house. It was a tawdry affair, all Cupids and
cornucopias, like a third-rate wedding-cake. The gallery and pit
were fairly full, but the two rows of dingy stalls were quite
empty, and there was hardly a person in what I suppose they
called the dress-circle. Women went about with oranges and
ginger-beer, and there was a terrible consumption of nuts going
on.” |
|
[4.45] “It must have been just
like the palmy days of the British drama.” |
|
[4.46] “Just like, I should
fancy, and very depressing. I began to wonder what on earth I
should do when I caught sight of the play-bill. What do you think
the play was, Harry?” |
|
[4.47] “I should think
‘The Idiot Boy,’ or ‘Dumb but Innocent.’
Our fathers used to like that sort of piece, I believe. The
longer I live, Dorian, the more keenly I feel that whatever was
good enough for our fathers is not good enough for us. In art, as
in politics, les grandpères ont toujours
tort.” |
|
[4.48] “This play was good
enough for us, Harry. It was Romeo and Juliet. I must admit that
I was rather annoyed at the idea of seeing Shakespeare done in
such a wretched hole of a place. Still, I felt interested, in a
sort of way. At any rate, I determined to wait for the first act.
There was a dreadful orchestra, presided over by a young Hebrew
who sat at a cracked piano, that nearly drove me away, but at
last the drop-scene was drawn up and the play began. Romeo was a
stout elderly gentleman, with corked eyebrows, a husky tragedy
voice, and a figure like a beer-barrel. Mercutio was almost as
bad. He was played by the low-comedian, who had introduced gags
of his own and was on most friendly terms with the pit. They were
both as grotesque as the scenery, and that looked as if it had
come out of a country-booth. But Juliet! Harry, imagine a girl,
hardly seventeen years of age, with a little, flowerlike face, a
small Greek head with plaited coils of dark-brown hair, eyes that
were violet wells of passion, lips that were like the petals of a
rose. She was the loveliest thing I had ever seen in my life. You
said to me once that pathos left you unmoved, but that beauty,
mere beauty, could fill your eyes with tears. I tell you, Harry,
I could hardly see this girl for the mist of tears that came
across me. And her voice—I never heard such a voice. It was
very low at first, with deep mellow notes that seemed to fall
singly upon one’s ear. Then it became a little louder, and
sounded like a flute or a distant hautboy. In the garden-scene it
had all the tremulous ecstasy that one hears just before dawn
when nightingales are singing. There were moments, later on, when
it had the wild passion of violins. You know how a voice can stir
one. Your voice and the voice of Sibyl Vane are two things that I
shall never forget. When I close my eyes, I hear them, and each
of them says something different. I don’t know which to follow.
Why should I not love her? Harry, I do love her. She is
everything to me in life. Night after night I go to see her play.
One evening she is Rosalind, and the next evening she is Imogen.
I have seen her die in the gloom of an Italian tomb, sucking the
poison from her lover’s lips. I have watched her wandering
through the forest of Arden, disguised as a pretty boy in hose
and doublet and dainty cap. She has been mad, and has come into
the presence of a guilty king, and given him rue to wear and
bitter herbs to taste of. She has been innocent, and the black
hands of jealousy have crushed her reedlike throat. I have seen
her in every age and in every costume. Ordinary women never
appeal to one’s imagination. They are limited to their century.
No glamour ever transfigures them. One knows their minds as
easily as one knows their bonnets. One can always find them.
There is no mystery in any of them. They ride in the park in the
morning and chatter at tea-parties in the afternoon. They have
their stereotyped smile and their fashionable manner. They are
quite obvious. But an actress! How different an actress is!
Harry! why didn’t you tell me that the only thing worth loving is
an actress?” |
|
[4.49] “Because I have loved so
many of them, Dorian.” |
|
[4.50] “Oh, yes, horrid people
with dyed hair and painted faces.” |
|
[4.51] “Don’t run down dyed
hair and painted faces. There is an extraordinary charm in them,
sometimes,” said Lord Henry. |
|
[4.52] “I wish now I had not
told you about Sibyl Vane.” |
|
[4.53] “You could not have
helped telling me, Dorian. All through your life you will tell me
everything you do.” |
|
[4.54] “Yes, Harry, I believe
that is true. I cannot help telling you things. You have a
curious influence over me. If I ever did a crime, I would come
and confess it to you. You would understand me.” |
|
[4.55] “People like
you—the wilful sunbeams of life—don’t commit crimes,
Dorian. But I am much obliged for the compliment, all the same.
And now tell me—reach me the matches, like a good
boy—thanks—what are your actual relations with Sibyl
Vane?” |
|
[4.56] Dorian Gray leaped to his
feet, with flushed cheeks and burning eyes. “Harry! Sibyl
Vane is sacred!” |
|
[4.57] “It is only the sacred
things that are worth touching, Dorian,” said Lord Henry,
with a strange touch of pathos in his voice. “But why
should you be annoyed? I suppose she will belong to you some day.
When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one’s self,
and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world
calls a romance. You know her, at any rate, I suppose?” |
|
[4.58] “Of course I know her.
On the first night I was at the theatre, the horrid old Jew came
round to the box after the performance was over and offered to
take me behind the scenes and introduce me to her. I was furious
with him, and told him that Juliet had been dead for hundreds of
years and that her body was lying in a marble tomb in Verona. I
think, from his blank look of amazement, that he was under the
impression that I had taken too much champagne, or
something.” |
|
[4.59] “I am not
surprised.” |
|
[4.60] “Then he asked me if I
wrote for any of the newspapers. I told him I never even read
them. He seemed terribly disappointed at that, and confided to me
that all the dramatic critics were in a conspiracy against him,
and that they were every one of them to be bought.” |
|
[4.61] “I should not wonder if
he was quite right there. But, on the other hand, judging from
their appearance, most of them cannot be at all
expensive.” |
|
[4.62] “Well, he seemed to
think they were beyond his means,” laughed Dorian.
“By this time, however, the lights were being put out in
the theatre, and I had to go. He wanted me to try some cigars
that he strongly recommended. I declined. The next night, of
course, I arrived at the place again. When he saw me, he made me
a low bow and assured me that I was a munificent patron of art.
He was a most offensive brute, though he had an extraordinary
passion for Shakespeare. He told me once, with an air of pride,
that his five bankruptcies were entirely due to ‘The
Bard,’ as he insisted on calling him. He seemed to think it
a distinction.” |
|
[4.63] “It was a distinction,
my dear Dorian—a great distinction. Most people become
bankrupt through having invested too heavily in the prose of
life. To have ruined one’s self over poetry is an honour. But
when did you first speak to Miss Sibyl Vane?” |
|
[4.64] “The third night. She
had been playing Rosalind. I could not help going round. I had
thrown her some flowers, and she had looked at me—at least
I fancied that she had. The old Jew was persistent. He seemed
determined to take me behind, so I consented. It was curious my
not wanting to know her, wasn’t it?” |
|
[4.65] “No; I don’t think
so.” |
|
[4.66] “My dear Harry,
why?” |
|
[4.67] “I will tell you some
other time. Now I want to know about the girl.” |
|
[4.68] “Sibyl? Oh, she was so
shy and so gentle. There is something of a child about her. Her
eyes opened wide in exquisite wonder when I told her what I
thought of her performance, and she seemed quite unconscious of
her power. I think we were both rather nervous. The old Jew stood
grinning at the doorway of the dusty greenroom, making elaborate
speeches about us both, while we stood looking at each other like
children. He would insist on calling me ‘My Lord,’ so
I had to assure Sibyl that I was not anything of the kind. She
said quite simply to me, ‘You look more like a prince. I
must call you Prince Charming.’” |
|
[4.69] “Upon my word, Dorian,
Miss Sibyl knows how to pay compliments.” |
|
[4.70] “You don’t understand
her, Harry. She regarded me merely as a person in a play. She
knows nothing of life. She lives with her mother, a faded tired
woman who played Lady Capulet in a sort of magenta
dressing-wrapper on the first night, and looks as if she had seen
better days.” |
|
[4.71] “I know that look. It
depresses me,” murmured Lord Henry, examining his
rings. |
|
[4.72] “The Jew wanted to tell
me her history, but I said it did not interest me.” |
|
[4.73] “You were quite right.
There is always something infinitely mean about other people’s
tragedies.” |
|
[4.74] “Sibyl is the only thing
I care about. What is it to me where she came from? From her
little head to her little feet, she is absolutely and entirely
divine. Every night of my life I go to see her act, and every
night she is more marvellous.” |
|
[4.75] “That is the reason, I
suppose, that you never dine with me now. I thought you must have
some curious romance on hand. You have; but it is not quite what
I expected.” |
|
[4.76] “My dear Harry, we
either lunch or sup together every day, and I have been to the
opera with you several times,” said Dorian, opening his
blue eyes in wonder. |
|
[4.77] “You always come
dreadfully late.” |
|
[4.78] “Well, I can’t help
going to see Sibyl play,” he cried, “even if it is
only for a single act. I get hungry for her presence; and when I
think of the wonderful soul that is hidden away in that little
ivory body, I am filled with awe.” |
|
[4.79] “You can dine with me
to-night, Dorian, can’t you?” |
|
[4.80] He shook his head.
“To-night she is Imogen,” he answered, “and
to-morrow night she will be Juliet.” |
|
[4.81] “When is she Sibyl
Vane?” |
|
[4.82] “Never.” |
|
[4.83] “I congratulate
you.” |
|
[4.84] “How horrid you are! She
is all the great heroines of the world in one. She is more than
an individual. You laugh, but I tell you she has genius. I love
her, and I must make her love me. You, who know all the secrets
of life, tell me how to charm Sibyl Vane to love me! I want to
make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to hear
our laughter and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir
their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain. My
God, Harry, how I worship her!” He was walking up and down
the room as he spoke. Hectic spots of red burned on his cheeks.
He was terribly excited. |
|
[4.85] Lord Henry watched him with a
subtle sense of pleasure. How different he was now from the shy
frightened boy he had met in Basil Hallward’s studio! His nature
had developed like a flower, had borne blossoms of scarlet flame.
Out of its secret hiding-place had crept his soul, and desire had
come to meet it on the way. |
|
[4.86] “And what do you propose
to do?” said Lord Henry at last. |
|
[4.87] “I want you and Basil to
come with me some night and see her act. I have not the slightest
fear of the result. You are certain to acknowledge her genius.
Then we must get her out of the Jew’s hands. She is bound to him
for three years—at least for two years and eight
months—from the present time. I shall have to pay him
something, of course. When all that is settled, I shall take a
West End theatre and bring her out properly. She will make the
world as mad as she has made me.” |
|
[4.88] “That would be
impossible, my dear boy.” |
|
[4.89] “Yes, she will. She has
not merely art, consummate art-instinct, in her, but she has
personality also; and you have often told me that it is
personalities, not principles, that move the age.” |
|
[4.90] “Well, what night shall
we go?” |
|
[4.91] “Let me see. To-day is
Tuesday. Let us fix to-morrow. She plays Juliet
to-morrow.” |
|
[4.92] “All right. The Bristol
at eight o’clock; and I will get Basil.” |
|
[4.93] “Not eight, Harry,
please. Half-past six. We must be there before the curtain rises.
You must see her in the first act, where she meets
Romeo.” |
|
[4.94] “Half-past six! What an
hour! It will be like having a meat-tea, or reading an English
novel. It must be seven. No gentleman dines before seven. Shall
you see Basil between this and then? Or shall I write to
him?” |
|
[4.95] “Dear Basil! I have not
laid eyes on him for a week. It is rather horrid of me, as he has
sent me my portrait in the most wonderful frame, specially
designed by himself, and, though I am a little jealous of the
picture for being a whole month younger than I am, I must admit
that I delight in it. Perhaps you had better write to him. I
don’t want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me. He
gives me good advice.” |
|
[4.96] Lord Henry smiled.
“People are very fond of giving away what they need most
themselves. It is what I call the depth of generosity.” |
|
[4.97] “Oh, Basil is the best
of fellows, but he seems to me to be just a bit of a Philistine.
Since I have known you, Harry, I have discovered that.” |
|
[4.98] “Basil, my dear boy,
puts everything that is charming in him into his work. The
consequence is that he has nothing left for life but his
prejudices, his principles, and his common sense. The only
artists I have ever known who are personally delightful are bad
artists. Good artists exist simply in what they make, and
consequently are perfectly uninteresting in what they are. A
great poet, a really great poet, is the most unpoetical of all
creatures. But inferior poets are absolutely fascinating. The
worse their rhymes are, the more picturesque they look. The mere
fact of having published a book of second-rate sonnets makes a
man quite irresistible. He lives the poetry that he cannot write.
The others write the poetry that they dare not
realize.” |
|
[4.99] “I wonder is that really
so, Harry?” said Dorian Gray, putting some perfume on his
handkerchief out of a large, gold-topped bottle that stood on the
table. “It must be, if you say it. And now I am off. Imogen
is waiting for me. Don’t forget about to-morrow.
Good-bye.” |
|
[4.100] As he left the room, Lord
Henry’s heavy eyelids drooped, and he began to think. Certainly
few people had ever interested him so much as Dorian Gray, and
yet the lad’s mad adoration of some one else caused him not the
slightest pang of annoyance or jealousy. He was pleased by it. It
made him a more interesting study. He had been always enthralled
by the methods of natural science, but the ordinary
subject-matter of that science had seemed to him trivial and of
no import. And so he had begun by vivisecting himself, as he had
ended by vivisecting others. Human life—that appeared to
him the one thing worth investigating. Compared to it there was
nothing else of any value. It was true that as one watched life
in its curious crucible of pain and pleasure, one could not wear
over one’s face a mask of glass, nor keep the sulphurous fumes
from troubling the brain and making the imagination turbid with
monstrous fancies and misshapen dreams. There were poisons so
subtle that to know their properties one had to sicken of them.
There were maladies so strange that one had to pass through them
if one sought to understand their nature. And, yet, what a great
reward one received! How wonderful the whole world became to one!
To note the curious hard logic of passion, and the emotional
coloured life of the intellect—to observe where they met,
and where they separated, at what point they were in unison, and
at what point they were at discord—there was a delight in
that! What matter what the cost was? One could never pay too high
a price for any sensation. |
|
[4.101] He was conscious—and
the thought brought a gleam of pleasure into his brown agate
eyes—that it was through certain words of his, musical
words said with musical utterance, that Dorian Gray’s soul had
turned to this white girl and bowed in worship before her. To a
large extent the lad was his own creation. He had made him
premature. That was something. Ordinary people waited till life
disclosed to them its secrets, but to the few, to the elect, the
mysteries of life were revealed before the veil was drawn away.
Sometimes this was the effect of art, and chiefly of the art of
literature, which dealt immediately with the passions and the
intellect. But now and then a complex personality took the place
and assumed the office of art, was indeed, in its way, a real
work of art, life having its elaborate masterpieces, just as
poetry has, or sculpture, or painting. |
|
[4.102] Yes, the lad was premature.
He was gathering his harvest while it was yet spring. The pulse
and passion of youth were in him, but he was becoming
self-conscious. It was delightful to watch him. With his
beautiful face, and his beautiful soul, he was a thing to wonder
at. It was no matter how it all ended, or was destined to end. He
was like one of those gracious figures in a pageant or a play,
whose joys seem to be remote from one, but whose sorrows stir
one’s sense of beauty, and whose wounds are like red roses. |
|
[4.103] Soul and body, body and
soul—how mysterious they were! There was animalism in the
soul, and the body had its moments of spirituality. The senses
could refine, and the intellect could degrade. Who could say
where the fleshly impulse ceased, or the psychical impulse began?
How shallow were the arbitrary definitions of ordinary
psychologists! And yet how difficult to decide between the claims
of the various schools! Was the soul a shadow seated in the house
of sin? Or was the body really in the soul, as Giordano Bruno
thought? The separation of spirit from matter was a mystery, and
the union of spirit with matter was a mystery also. |
|
[4.104] He began to wonder whether we
could ever make psychology so absolute a science that each little
spring of life would be revealed to us. As it was, we always
misunderstood ourselves and rarely understood others. Experience
was of no ethical value. It was merely the name men gave to their
mistakes. Moralists had, as a rule, regarded it as a mode of
warning, had claimed for it a certain ethical efficacy in the
formation of character, had praised it as something that taught
us what to follow and showed us what to avoid. But there was no
motive power in experience. It was as little of an active cause
as conscience itself. All that it really demonstrated was that
our future would be the same as our past, and that the sin we had
done once, and with loathing, we would do many times, and with
joy. |
|
[4.105] It was clear to him that the
experimental method was the only method by which one could arrive
at any scientific analysis of the passions; and certainly Dorian
Gray was a subject made to his hand, and seemed to promise rich
and fruitful results. His sudden mad love for Sibyl Vane was a
psychological phenomenon of no small interest. There was no doubt
that curiosity had much to do with it, curiosity and the desire
for new experiences, yet it was not a simple, but rather a very
complex passion. What there was in it of the purely sensuous
instinct of boyhood had been transformed by the workings of the
imagination, changed into something that seemed to the lad
himself to be remote from sense, and was for that very reason all
the more dangerous. It was the passions about whose origin we
deceived ourselves that tyrannized most strongly over us. Our
weakest motives were those of whose nature we were conscious. It
often happened that when we thought we were experimenting on
others we were really experimenting on ourselves. |
|
[4.106] While Lord Henry sat dreaming
on these things, a knock came to the door, and his valet entered
and reminded him it was time to dress for dinner. He got up and
looked out into the street. The sunset had smitten into scarlet
gold the upper windows of the houses opposite. The panes glowed
like plates of heated metal. The sky above was like a faded rose.
He thought of his friend’s young fiery-coloured life and wondered
how it was all going to end. |
|
[4.107] When he arrived home, about
half-past twelve o’clock, he saw a telegram lying on the hall
table. He opened it and found it was from Dorian Gray. It was to
tell him that he was engaged to be married to Sibyl Vane. |
|
|
|
Chapter 5 |
|
[5.1] “Mother, Mother, I am so
happy!” whispered the girl, burying her face in the lap of
the faded, tired-looking woman who, with back turned to the
shrill intrusive light, was sitting in the one arm-chair that
their dingy sitting-room contained. “I am so happy!”
she repeated, “and you must be happy, too!” |
|
[5.2] Mrs. Vane winced and put her
thin, bismuth-whitened hands on her daughter’s head.
“Happy!” she echoed, “I am only happy, Sibyl,
when I see you act. You must not think of anything but your
acting. Mr. Isaacs has been very good to us, and we owe him
money.” |
|
[5.3] The girl looked up and pouted.
“Money, Mother?” she cried, “what does money
matter? Love is more than money.” |
|
[5.4] “Mr. Isaacs has advanced
us fifty pounds to pay off our debts and to get a proper outfit
for James. You must not forget that, Sibyl. Fifty pounds is a
very large sum. Mr. Isaacs has been most considerate.” |
|
[5.5] “He is not a gentleman,
Mother, and I hate the way he talks to me,” said the girl,
rising to her feet and going over to the window. |
|
[5.6] “I don’t know how we
could manage without him,” answered the elder woman
querulously. |
|
[5.7] Sibyl Vane tossed her head and
laughed. “We don’t want him any more, Mother. Prince
Charming rules life for us now.” Then she paused. A rose
shook in her blood and shadowed her cheeks. Quick breath parted
the petals of her lips. They trembled. Some southern wind of
passion swept over her and stirred the dainty folds of her dress.
“I love him,” she said simply. |
|
[5.8] “Foolish child! foolish
child!” was the parrot-phrase flung in answer. The waving
of crooked, false-jewelled fingers gave grotesqueness to the
words. |
|
[5.9] The girl laughed again. The joy
of a caged bird was in her voice. Her eyes caught the melody and
echoed it in radiance, then closed for a moment, as though to
hide their secret. When they opened, the mist of a dream had
passed across them. |
|
[5.10] Thin-lipped wisdom spoke at
her from the worn chair, hinted at prudence, quoted from that
book of cowardice whose author apes the name of common sense. She
did not listen. She was free in her prison of passion. Her
prince, Prince Charming, was with her. She had called on memory
to remake him. She had sent her soul to search for him, and it
had brought him back. His kiss burned again upon her mouth. Her
eyelids were warm with his breath. |
|
[5.11] Then wisdom altered its method
and spoke of espial and discovery. This young man might be rich.
If so, marriage should be thought of. Against the shell of her
ear broke the waves of worldly cunning. The arrows of craft shot
by her. She saw the thin lips moving, and smiled. |
|
[5.12] Suddenly she felt the need to
speak. The wordy silence troubled her. “Mother,
Mother,” she cried, “why does he love me so much? I
know why I love him. I love him because he is like what love
himself should be. But what does he see in me? I am not worthy of
him. And yet—why, I cannot tell—though I feel so much
beneath him, I don’t feel humble. I feel proud, terribly proud.
Mother, did you love my father as I love Prince
Charming?” |
|
[5.13] The elder woman grew pale
beneath the coarse powder that daubed her cheeks, and her dry
lips twitched with a spasm of pain. Sybil rushed to her, flung
her arms round her neck, and kissed her. “Forgive me,
Mother. I know it pains you to talk about our father. But it only
pains you because you loved him so much. Don’t look so sad. I am
as happy to-day as you were twenty years ago. Ah! let me be happy
for ever!” |
|
[5.14] “My child, you are far
too young to think of falling in love. Besides, what do you know
of this young man? You don’t even know his name. The whole thing
is most inconvenient, and really, when James is going away to
Australia, and I have so much to think of, I must say that you
should have shown more consideration. However, as I said before,
if he is rich . . .” |
|
[5.15] “Ah! Mother, Mother, let
me be happy!” |
|
[5.16] Mrs. Vane glanced at her, and
with one of those false theatrical gestures that so often become
a mode of second nature to a stage-player, clasped her in her
arms. At this moment, the door opened and a young lad with rough
brown hair came into the room. He was thick-set of figure, and
his hands and feet were large and somewhat clumsy in movement. He
was not so finely bred as his sister. One would hardly have
guessed the close relationship that existed between them. Mrs.
Vane fixed her eyes on him and intensified her smile. She
mentally elevated her son to the dignity of an audience. She felt
sure that the tableau was interesting. |
|
[5.17] “You might keep some of
your kisses for me, Sibyl, I think,” said the lad with a
good-natured grumble. |
|
[5.18] “Ah! but you don’t like
being kissed, Jim,” she cried. “You are a dreadful
old bear.” And she ran across the room and hugged him. |
|
[5.19] James Vane looked into his
sister’s face with tenderness. “I want you to come out with
me for a walk, Sibyl. I don’t suppose I shall ever see this
horrid London again. I am sure I don’t want to.” |
|
[5.20] “My son, don’t say such
dreadful things,” murmured Mrs. Vane, taking up a tawdry
theatrical dress, with a sigh, and beginning to patch it. She
felt a little disappointed that he had not joined the group. It
would have increased the theatrical picturesqueness of the
situation. |
|
[5.21] “Why not, Mother? I mean
it.” |
|
[5.22] “You pain me, my son. I
trust you will return from Australia in a position of affluence.
I believe there is no society of any kind in the
Colonies—nothing that I would call society—so when
you have made your fortune, you must come back and assert
yourself in London.” |
|
[5.23] “Society!”
muttered the lad. “I don’t want to know anything about
that. I should like to make some money to take you and Sibyl off
the stage. I hate it.” |
|
[5.24] “Oh, Jim!” said
Sibyl, laughing, “how unkind of you! But are you really
going for a walk with me? That will be nice! I was afraid you
were going to say good-bye to some of your friends—to Tom
Hardy, who gave you that hideous pipe, or Ned Langton, who makes
fun of you for smoking it. It is very sweet of you to let me have
your last afternoon. Where shall we go? Let us go to the
park.” |
|
[5.25] “I am too shabby,”
he answered, frowning. “Only swell people go to the
park.” |
|
[5.26] “Nonsense, Jim,”
she whispered, stroking the sleeve of his coat. |
|
[5.27] He hesitated for a moment.
“Very well,” he said at last, “but don’t be too
long dressing.” She danced out of the door. One could hear
her singing as she ran upstairs. Her little feet pattered
overhead. |
|
[5.28] He walked up and down the room
two or three times. Then he turned to the still figure in the
chair. “Mother, are my things ready?” he asked. |
|
[5.29] “Quite ready,
James,” she answered, keeping her eyes on her work. For
some months past she had felt ill at ease when she was alone with
this rough stern son of hers. Her shallow secret nature was
troubled when their eyes met. She used to wonder if he suspected
anything. The silence, for he made no other observation, became
intolerable to her. She began to complain. Women defend
themselves by attacking, just as they attack by sudden and
strange surrenders. “I hope you will be contented, James,
with your sea-faring life,” she said. “You must
remember that it is your own choice. You might have entered a
solicitor’s office. Solicitors are a very respectable class, and
in the country often dine with the best families.” |
|
[5.30] “I hate offices, and I
hate clerks,” he replied. “But you are quite right. I
have chosen my own life. All I say is, watch over Sibyl. Don’t
let her come to any harm. Mother, you must watch over
her.” |
|
[5.31] “James, you really talk
very strangely. Of course I watch over Sibyl.” |
|
[5.32] “I hear a gentleman
comes every night to the theatre and goes behind to talk to her.
Is that right? What about that?” |
|
[5.33] “You are speaking about
things you don’t understand, James. In the profession we are
accustomed to receive a great deal of most gratifying attention.
I myself used to receive many bouquets at one time. That was when
acting was really understood. As for Sibyl, I do not know at
present whether her attachment is serious or not. But there is no
doubt that the young man in question is a perfect gentleman. He
is always most polite to me. Besides, he has the appearance of
being rich, and the flowers he sends are lovely.” |
|
[5.34] “You don’t know his
name, though,” said the lad harshly. |
|
[5.35] “No,” answered his
mother with a placid expression in her face. “He has not
yet revealed his real name. I think it is quite romantic of him.
He is probably a member of the aristocracy.” |
|
[5.36] James Vane bit his lip.
“Watch over Sibyl, Mother,” he cried, “watch
over her.” |
|
[5.37] “My son, you distress me
very much. Sibyl is always under my special care. Of course, if
this gentleman is wealthy, there is no reason why she should not
contract an alliance with him. I trust he is one of the
aristocracy. He has all the appearance of it, I must say. It
might be a most brilliant marriage for Sibyl. They would make a
charming couple. His good looks are really quite remarkable;
everybody notices them.” |
|
[5.38] The lad muttered something to
himself and drummed on the window-pane with his coarse fingers.
He had just turned round to say something when the door opened
and Sibyl ran in. |
|
[5.39] “How serious you both
are!” she cried. “What is the matter?” |
|
[5.40] “Nothing,” he
answered. “I suppose one must be serious sometimes.
Good-bye, Mother; I will have my dinner at five o’clock.
Everything is packed, except my shirts, so you need not
trouble.” |
|
[5.41] “Good-bye, my
son,” she answered with a bow of strained stateliness. |
|
[5.42] She was extremely annoyed at
the tone he had adopted with her, and there was something in his
look that had made her feel afraid. |
|
[5.43] “Kiss me, Mother,”
said the girl. Her flowerlike lips touched the withered cheek and
warmed its frost. |
|
[5.44] “My child! my
child!” cried Mrs. Vane, looking up to the ceiling in
search of an imaginary gallery. |
|
[5.45] “Come, Sibyl,”
said her brother impatiently. He hated his mother’s
affectations. |
|
[5.46] They went out into the
flickering, wind-blown sunlight and strolled down the dreary
Euston Road. The passersby glanced in wonder at the sullen heavy
youth who, in coarse, ill-fitting clothes, was in the company of
such a graceful, refined-looking girl. He was like a common
gardener walking with a rose. |
|
[5.47] Jim frowned from time to time
when he caught the inquisitive glance of some stranger. He had
that dislike of being stared at, which comes on geniuses late in
life and never leaves the commonplace. Sibyl, however, was quite
unconscious of the effect she was producing. Her love was
trembling in laughter on her lips. She was thinking of Prince
Charming, and, that she might think of him all the more, she did
not talk of him, but prattled on about the ship in which Jim was
going to sail, about the gold he was certain to find, about the
wonderful heiress whose life he was to save from the wicked,
red-shirted bushrangers. For he was not to remain a sailor, or a
supercargo, or whatever he was going to be. Oh, no! A sailor’s
existence was dreadful. Fancy being cooped up in a horrid ship,
with the hoarse, hump-backed waves trying to get in, and a black
wind blowing the masts down and tearing the sails into long
screaming ribands! He was to leave the vessel at Melbourne, bid a
polite good-bye to the captain, and go off at once to the
gold-fields. Before a week was over he was to come across a large
nugget of pure gold, the largest nugget that had ever been
discovered, and bring it down to the coast in a waggon guarded by
six mounted policemen. The bushrangers were to attack them three
times, and be defeated with immense slaughter. Or, no. He was not
to go to the gold-fields at all. They were horrid places, where
men got intoxicated, and shot each other in bar-rooms, and used
bad language. He was to be a nice sheep-farmer, and one evening,
as he was riding home, he was to see the beautiful heiress being
carried off by a robber on a black horse, and give chase, and
rescue her. Of course, she would fall in love with him, and he
with her, and they would get married, and come home, and live in
an immense house in London. Yes, there were delightful things in
store for him. But he must be very good, and not lose his temper,
or spend his money foolishly. She was only a year older than he
was, but she knew so much more of life. He must be sure, also, to
write to her by every mail, and to say his prayers each night
before he went to sleep. God was very good, and would watch over
him. She would pray for him, too, and in a few years he would
come back quite rich and happy. |
|
[5.48] The lad listened sulkily to
her and made no answer. He was heart-sick at leaving home. |
|
[5.49] Yet it was not this alone that
made him gloomy and morose. Inexperienced though he was, he had
still a strong sense of the danger of Sibyl’s position. This
young dandy who was making love to her could mean her no good. He
was a gentleman, and he hated him for that, hated him through
some curious race-instinct for which he could not account, and
which for that reason was all the more dominant within him. He
was conscious also of the shallowness and vanity of his mother’s
nature, and in that saw infinite peril for Sibyl and Sibyl’s
happiness. Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow
older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them. |
|
[5.50] His mother! He had something
on his mind to ask of her, something that he had brooded on for
many months of silence. A chance phrase that he had heard at the
theatre, a whispered sneer that had reached his ears one night as
he waited at the stage-door, had set loose a train of horrible
thoughts. He remembered it as if it had been the lash of a
hunting-crop across his face. His brows knit together into a
wedge-like furrow, and with a twitch of pain he bit his
underlip. |
|
[5.51] “You are not listening
to a word I am saying, Jim,” cried Sibyl, “and I am
making the most delightful plans for your future. Do say
something.” |
|
[5.52] “What do you want me to
say?” |
|
[5.53] “Oh! that you will be a
good boy and not forget us,” she answered, smiling at
him. |
|
[5.54] He shrugged his shoulders.
“You are more likely to forget me than I am to forget you,
Sibyl.” |
|
[5.55] She flushed. “What do
you mean, Jim?” she asked. |
|
[5.56] “You have a new friend,
I hear. Who is he? Why have you not told me about him? He means
you no good.” |
|
[5.57] “Stop, Jim!” she
exclaimed. “You must not say anything against him. I love
him.” |
|
[5.58] “Why, you don’t even
know his name,” answered the lad. “Who is he? I have
a right to know.” |
|
[5.59] “He is called Prince
Charming. Don’t you like the name. Oh! you silly boy! you should
never forget it. If you only saw him, you would think him the
most wonderful person in the world. Some day you will meet
him—when you come back from Australia. You will like him so
much. Everybody likes him, and I . . . love him. I wish
you could come to the theatre to-night. He is going to be there,
and I am to play Juliet. Oh! how I shall play it! Fancy, Jim, to
be in love and play Juliet! To have him sitting there! To play
for his delight! I am afraid I may frighten the company, frighten
or enthrall them. To be in love is to surpass one’s self. Poor
dreadful Mr. Isaacs will be shouting ‘genius’ to his
loafers at the bar. He has preached me as a dogma; to-night he
will announce me as a revelation. I feel it. And it is all his,
his only, Prince Charming, my wonderful lover, my god of graces.
But I am poor beside him. Poor? What does that matter? When
poverty creeps in at the door, love flies in through the window.
Our proverbs want rewriting. They were made in winter, and it is
summer now; spring-time for me, I think, a very dance of blossoms
in blue skies.” |
|
[5.60] “He is a
gentleman,” said the lad sullenly. |
|
[5.61] “A prince!” she
cried musically. “What more do you want?” |
|
[5.62] “He wants to enslave
you.” |
|
[5.63] “I shudder at the
thought of being free.” |
|
[5.64] “I want you to beware of
him.” |
|
[5.65] “To see him is to
worship him; to know him is to trust him.” |
|
[5.66] “Sibyl, you are mad
about him.” |
|
[5.67] She laughed and took his arm.
“You dear old Jim, you talk as if you were a hundred. Some
day you will be in love yourself. Then you will know what it is.
Don’t look so sulky. Surely you should be glad to think that,
though you are going away, you leave me happier than I have ever
been before. Life has been hard for us both, terribly hard and
difficult. But it will be different now. You are going to a new
world, and I have found one. Here are two chairs; let us sit down
and see the smart people go by.” |
|
[5.68] They took their seats amidst a
crowd of watchers. The tulip-beds across the road flamed like
throbbing rings of fire. A white dust—tremulous cloud of
orris-root it seemed—hung in the panting air. The brightly
coloured parasols danced and dipped like monstrous
butterflies. |
|
[5.69] She made her brother talk of
himself, his hopes, his prospects. He spoke slowly and with
effort. They passed words to each other as players at a game pass
counters. Sibyl felt oppressed. She could not communicate her
joy. A faint smile curving that sullen mouth was all the echo she
could win. After some time she became silent. Suddenly she caught
a glimpse of golden hair and laughing lips, and in an open
carriage with two ladies Dorian Gray drove past. |
|
[5.70] She started to her feet.
“There he is!” she cried. |
|
[5.71] “Who?” said Jim
Vane. |
|
[5.72] “Prince Charming,”
she answered, looking after the victoria. |
|
[5.73] He jumped up and seized her
roughly by the arm. “Show him to me. Which is he? Point him
out. I must see him!” he exclaimed; but at that moment the
Duke of Berwick’s four-in-hand came between, and when it had left
the space clear, the carriage had swept out of the park. |
|
[5.74] “He is gone,”
murmured Sibyl sadly. “I wish you had seen him.” |
|
[5.75] “I wish I had, for as
sure as there is a God in heaven, if he ever does you any wrong,
I shall kill him.” |
|
[5.76] She looked at him in horror.
He repeated his words. They cut the air like a dagger. The people
round began to gape. A lady standing close to her tittered. |
|
[5.77] “Come away, Jim; come
away,” she whispered. He followed her doggedly as she
passed through the crowd. He felt glad at what he had said. |
|
[5.78] When they reached the Achilles
Statue, she turned round. There was pity in her eyes that became
laughter on her lips. She shook her head at him. “You are
foolish, Jim, utterly foolish; a bad-tempered boy, that is all.
How can you say such horrible things? You don’t know what you are
talking about. You are simply jealous and unkind. Ah! I wish you
would fall in love. Love makes people good, and what you said was
wicked.” |
|
[5.79] “I am sixteen,” he
answered, “and I know what I am about. Mother is no help to
you. She doesn’t understand how to look after you. I wish now
that I was not going to Australia at all. I have a great mind to
chuck the whole thing up. I would, if my articles hadn’t been
signed.” |
|
[5.80] “Oh, don’t be so
serious, Jim. You are like one of the heroes of those silly
melodramas Mother used to be so fond of acting in. I am not going
to quarrel with you. I have seen him, and oh! to see him is
perfect happiness. We won’t quarrel. I know you would never harm
any one I love, would you?” |
|
[5.81] “Not as long as you love
him, I suppose,” was the sullen answer. |
|
[5.82] “I shall love him for
ever!” she cried. |
|
[5.83] “And he?” |
|
[5.84] “For ever,
too!” |
|
[5.85] “He had
better.” |
|
[5.86] She shrank from him. Then she
laughed and put her hand on his arm. He was merely a boy. |
|
[5.87] At the Marble Arch they hailed
an omnibus, which left them close to their shabby home in the
Euston Road. It was after five o’clock, and Sibyl had to lie down
for a couple of hours before acting. Jim insisted that she should
do so. He said that he would sooner part with her when their
mother was not present. She would be sure to make a scene, and he
detested scenes of every kind. |
|
[5.88] In Sybil’s own room they
parted. There was jealousy in the lad’s heart, and a fierce
murderous hatred of the stranger who, as it seemed to him, had
come between them. Yet, when her arms were flung round his neck,
and her fingers strayed through his hair, he softened and kissed
her with real affection. There were tears in his eyes as he went
downstairs. |
|
[5.89] His mother was waiting for him
below. She grumbled at his unpunctuality, as he entered. He made
no answer, but sat down to his meagre meal. The flies buzzed
round the table and crawled over the stained cloth. Through the
rumble of omnibuses, and the clatter of street-cabs, he could
hear the droning voice devouring each minute that was left to
him. |
|
[5.90] After some time, he thrust
away his plate and put his head in his hands. He felt that he had
a right to know. It should have been told to him before, if it
was as he suspected. Leaden with fear, his mother watched him.
Words dropped mechanically from her lips. A tattered lace
handkerchief twitched in her fingers. When the clock struck six,
he got up and went to the door. Then he turned back and looked at
her. Their eyes met. In hers he saw a wild appeal for mercy. It
enraged him. |
|
[5.91] “Mother, I have
something to ask you,” he said. Her eyes wandered vaguely
about the room. She made no answer. “Tell me the truth. I
have a right to know. Were you married to my father?” |
|
[5.92] She heaved a deep sigh. It was
a sigh of relief. The terrible moment, the moment that night and
day, for weeks and months, she had dreaded, had come at last, and
yet she felt no terror. Indeed, in some measure it was a
disappointment to her. The vulgar directness of the question
called for a direct answer. The situation had not been gradually
led up to. It was crude. It reminded her of a bad rehearsal. |
|
[5.93] “No,” she
answered, wondering at the harsh simplicity of life. |
|
[5.94] “My father was a
scoundrel then!” cried the lad, clenching his fists. |
|
[5.95] She shook her head. “I
knew he was not free. We loved each other very much. If he had
lived, he would have made provision for us. Don’t speak against
him, my son. He was your father, and a gentleman. Indeed, he was
highly connected.” |
|
[5.96] An oath broke from his lips.
“I don’t care for myself,” he exclaimed, “but
don’t let Sibyl. . . . It is a gentleman, isn’t
it, who is in love with her, or says he is? Highly connected,
too, I suppose.” |
|
[5.97] For a moment a hideous sense
of humiliation came over the woman. Her head drooped. She wiped
her eyes with shaking hands. “Sibyl has a mother,”
she murmured; “I had none.” |
|
[5.98] The lad was touched. He went
towards her, and stooping down, he kissed her. “I am sorry
if I have pained you by asking about my father,” he said,
“but I could not help it. I must go now. Good-bye. Don’t
forget that you will have only one child now to look after, and
believe me that if this man wrongs my sister, I will find out who
he is, track him down, and kill him like a dog. I swear
it.” |
|
[5.99] The exaggerated folly of the
threat, the passionate gesture that accompanied it, the mad
melodramatic words, made life seem more vivid to her. She was
familiar with the atmosphere. She breathed more freely, and for
the first time for many months she really admired her son. She
would have liked to have continued the scene on the same
emotional scale, but he cut her short. Trunks had to be carried
down and mufflers looked for. The lodging-house drudge bustled in
and out. There was the bargaining with the cabman. The moment was
lost in vulgar details. It was with a renewed feeling of
disappointment that she waved the tattered lace handkerchief from
the window, as her son drove away. She was conscious that a great
opportunity had been wasted. She consoled herself by telling
Sibyl how desolate she felt her life would be, now that she had
only one child to look after. She remembered the phrase. It had
pleased her. Of the threat she said nothing. It was vividly and
dramatically expressed. She felt that they would all laugh at it
some day. |
|
|
|
Chapter 6 |
|
[6.1] “I suppose you have heard
the news, Basil?” said Lord Henry that evening as Hallward
was shown into a little private room at the Bristol where dinner
had been laid for three. |
|
[6.2] “No, Harry,”
answered the artist, giving his hat and coat to the bowing
waiter. “What is it? Nothing about politics, I hope! They
don’t interest me. There is hardly a single person in the House
of Commons worth painting, though many of them would be the
better for a little whitewashing.” |
|
[6.3] “Dorian Gray is engaged
to be married,” said Lord Henry, watching him as he
spoke. |
|
[6.4] Hallward started and then
frowned. “Dorian engaged to be married!” he cried.
“Impossible!” |
|
[6.5] “It is perfectly
true.” |
|
[6.6] “To whom?” |
|
[6.7] “To some little actress
or other.” |
|
[6.8] “I can’t believe it.
Dorian is far too sensible.” |
|
[6.9] “Dorian is far too wise
not to do foolish things now and then, my dear Basil.” |
|
[6.10] “Marriage is hardly a
thing that one can do now and then, Harry.” |
|
[6.11] “Except in
America,” rejoined Lord Henry languidly. “But I
didn’t say he was married. I said he was engaged to be married.
There is a great difference. I have a distinct remembrance of
being married, but I have no recollection at all of being
engaged. I am inclined to think that I never was
engaged.” |
|
[6.12] “But think of Dorian’s
birth, and position, and wealth. It would be absurd for him to
marry so much beneath him.” |
|
[6.13] “If you want to make him
marry this girl, tell him that, Basil. He is sure to do it, then.
Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from
the noblest motives.” |
|
[6.14] “I hope the girl is
good, Harry. I don’t want to see Dorian tied to some vile
creature, who might degrade his nature and ruin his
intellect.” |
|
[6.15] “Oh, she is better than
good—she is beautiful,” murmured Lord Henry, sipping
a glass of vermouth and orange-bitters. “Dorian says she is
beautiful, and he is not often wrong about things of that kind.
Your portrait of him has quickened his appreciation of the
personal appearance of other people. It has had that excellent
effect, amongst others. We are to see her to-night, if that boy
doesn’t forget his appointment.” |
|
[6.16] “Are you
serious?” |
|
[6.17] “Quite serious, Basil. I
should be miserable if I thought I should ever be more serious
than I am at the present moment.” |
|
[6.18] “But do you approve of
it, Harry?” asked the painter, walking up and down the room
and biting his lip. “You can’t approve of it, possibly. It
is some silly infatuation.” |
|
[6.19] “I never approve, or
disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd attitude to take
towards life. We are not sent into the world to air our moral
prejudices. I never take any notice of what common people say,
and I never interfere with what charming people do. If a
personality fascinates me, whatever mode of expression that
personality selects is absolutely delightful to me. Dorian Gray
falls in love with a beautiful girl who acts Juliet, and proposes
to marry her. Why not? If he wedded Messalina, he would be none
the less interesting. You know I am not a champion of marriage.
The real drawback to marriage is that it makes one unselfish. And
unselfish people are colourless. They lack individuality. Still,
there are certain temperaments that marriage makes more complex.
They retain their egotism, and add to it many other egos. They
are forced to have more than one life. They become more highly
organized, and to be highly organized is, I should fancy, the
object of man’s existence. Besides, every experience is of value,
and whatever one may say against marriage, it is certainly an
experience. I hope that Dorian Gray will make this girl his wife,
passionately adore her for six months, and then suddenly become
fascinated by some one else. He would be a wonderful
study.” |
|
[6.20] “You don’t mean a single
word of all that, Harry; you know you don’t. If Dorian Gray’s
life were spoiled, no one would be sorrier than yourself. You are
much better than you pretend to be.” |
|
[6.21] Lord Henry laughed. “The
reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all
afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror. We
think that we are generous because we credit our neighbour with
the possession of those virtues that are likely to be a benefit
to us. We praise the banker that we may overdraw our account, and
find good qualities in the highwayman in the hope that he may
spare our pockets. I mean everything that I have said. I have the
greatest contempt for optimism. As for a spoiled life, no life is
spoiled but one whose growth is arrested. If you want to mar a
nature, you have merely to reform it. As for marriage, of course
that would be silly, but there are other and more interesting
bonds between men and women. I will certainly encourage them.
They have the charm of being fashionable. But here is Dorian
himself. He will tell you more than I can.” |
|
[6.22] “My dear Harry, my dear
Basil, you must both congratulate me!” said the lad,
throwing off his evening cape with its satin-lined wings and
shaking each of his friends by the hand in turn. “I have
never been so happy. Of course, it is sudden—all really
delightful things are. And yet it seems to me to be the one thing
I have been looking for all my life.” He was flushed with
excitement and pleasure, and looked extraordinarily handsome. |
|
[6.23] “I hope you will always
be very happy, Dorian,” said Hallward, “but I don’t
quite forgive you for not having let me know of your engagement.
You let Harry know.” |
|
[6.24] “And I don’t forgive you
for being late for dinner,” broke in Lord Henry, putting
his hand on the lad’s shoulder and smiling as he spoke.
“Come, let us sit down and try what the new chef
here is like, and then you will tell us how it all came
about.” |
|
[6.25] “There is really not
much to tell,” cried Dorian as they took their seats at the
small round table. “What happened was simply this. After I
left you yesterday evening, Harry, I dressed, had some dinner at
that little Italian restaurant in Rupert Street you introduced me
to, and went down at eight o’clock to the theatre. Sibyl was
playing Rosalind. Of course, the scenery was dreadful and the
Orlando absurd. But Sibyl! You should have seen her! When she
came on in her boy’s clothes, she was perfectly wonderful. She
wore a moss-coloured velvet jerkin with cinnamon sleeves, slim,
brown, cross-gartered hose, a dainty little green cap with a
hawk’s feather caught in a jewel, and a hooded cloak lined with
dull red. She had never seemed to me more exquisite. She had all
the delicate grace of that Tanagra figurine that you have in your
studio, Basil. Her hair clustered round her face like dark leaves
round a pale rose. As for her acting—well, you shall see
her to-night. She is simply a born artist. I sat in the dingy box
absolutely enthralled. I forgot that I was in London and in the
nineteenth century. I was away with my love in a forest that no
man had ever seen. After the performance was over, I went behind
and spoke to her. As we were sitting together, suddenly there
came into her eyes a look that I had never seen there before. My
lips moved towards hers. We kissed each other. I can’t describe
to you what I felt at that moment. It seemed to me that all my
life had been narrowed to one perfect point of rose-coloured joy.
She trembled all over and shook like a white narcissus. Then she
flung herself on her knees and kissed my hands. I feel that I
should not tell you all this, but I can’t help it. Of course, our
engagement is a dead secret. She has not even told her own
mother. I don’t know what my guardians will say. Lord Radley is
sure to be furious. I don’t care. I shall be of age in less than
a year, and then I can do what I like. I have been right, Basil,
haven’t I, to take my love out of poetry and to find my wife in
Shakespeare’s plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to speak have
whispered their secret in my ear. I have had the arms of Rosalind
around me, and kissed Juliet on the mouth.” |
|
[6.26] “Yes, Dorian, I suppose
you were right,” said Hallward slowly. |
|
[6.27] “Have you seen her
to-day?” asked Lord Henry. |
|
[6.28] Dorian Gray shook his head.
“I left her in the forest of Arden; I shall find her in an
orchard in Verona.” |
|
[6.29] Lord Henry sipped his
champagne in a meditative manner. “At what particular point
did you mention the word marriage, Dorian? And what did she say
in answer? Perhaps you forgot all about it.” |
|
[6.30] “My dear Harry, I did
not treat it as a business transaction, and I did not make any
formal proposal. I told her that I loved her, and she said she
was not worthy to be my wife. Not worthy! Why, the whole world is
nothing to me compared with her.” |
|
[6.31] “Women are wonderfully
practical,” murmured Lord Henry, “much more practical
than we are. In situations of that kind we often forget to say
anything about marriage, and they always remind us.” |
|
[6.32] Hallward laid his hand upon
his arm. “Don’t, Harry. You have annoyed Dorian. He is not
like other men. He would never bring misery upon any one. His
nature is too fine for that.” |
|
[6.33] Lord Henry looked across the
table. “Dorian is never annoyed with me,” he
answered. “I asked the question for the best reason
possible, for the only reason, indeed, that excuses one for
asking any question—simple curiosity. I have a theory that
it is always the women who propose to us, and not we who propose
to the women. Except, of course, in middle-class life. But then
the middle classes are not modern.” |
|
[6.34] Dorian Gray laughed, and
tossed his head. “You are quite incorrigible, Harry; but I
don’t mind. It is impossible to be angry with you. When you see
Sibyl Vane, you will feel that the man who could wrong her would
be a beast, a beast without a heart. I cannot understand how any
one can wish to shame the thing he loves. I love Sibyl Vane. I
want to place her on a pedestal of gold and to see the world
worship the woman who is mine. What is marriage? An irrevocable
vow. You mock at it for that. Ah! don’t mock. It is an
irrevocable vow that I want to take. Her trust makes me faithful,
her belief makes me good. When I am with her, I regret all that
you have taught me. I become different from what you have known
me to be. I am changed, and the mere touch of Sibyl Vane’s hand
makes me forget you and all your wrong, fascinating, poisonous,
delightful theories.” |
|
[6.35] “And those are
. . . ?” asked Lord Henry, helping himself
to some salad. |
|
[6.36] “Oh, your theories about
life, your theories about love, your theories about pleasure. All
your theories, in fact, Harry.” |
|
[6.37] “Pleasure is the only
thing worth having a theory about,” he answered in his slow
melodious voice. “But I am afraid I cannot claim my theory
as my own. It belongs to Nature, not to me. Pleasure is Nature’s
test, her sign of approval. When we are happy, we are always
good, but when we are good, we are not always happy.” |
|
[6.38] “Ah! but what do you
mean by good?” cried Basil Hallward. |
|
[6.39] “Yes,” echoed
Dorian, leaning back in his chair and looking at Lord Henry over
the heavy clusters of purple-lipped irises that stood in the
centre of the table, “what do you mean by good,
Harry?” |
|
[6.40] “To be good is to be in
harmony with one’s self,” he replied, touching the thin
stem of his glass with his pale, fine-pointed fingers.
“Discord is to be forced to be in harmony with others.
One’s own life—that is the important thing. As for the
lives of one’s neighbours, if one wishes to be a prig or a
Puritan, one can flaunt one’s moral views about them, but they
are not one’s concern. Besides, individualism has really the
higher aim. Modern morality consists in accepting the standard of
one’s age. I consider that for any man of culture to accept the
standard of his age is a form of the grossest
immorality.” |
|
[6.41] “But, surely, if one
lives merely for one’s self, Harry, one pays a terrible price for
doing so?” suggested the painter. |
|
[6.42] “Yes, we are overcharged
for everything nowadays. I should fancy that the real tragedy of
the poor is that they can afford nothing but self-denial.
Beautiful sins, like beautiful things, are the privilege of the
rich.” |
|
[6.43] “One has to pay in other
ways but money.” |
|
[6.44] “What sort of ways,
Basil?” |
|
[6.45] “Oh! I should fancy in
remorse, in suffering, in . . . well, in the
consciousness of degradation.” |
|
[6.46] Lord Henry shrugged his
shoulders. “My dear fellow, mediaeval art is charming, but
mediaeval emotions are out of date. One can use them in fiction,
of course. But then the only things that one can use in fiction
are the things that one has ceased to use in fact. Believe me, no
civilized man ever regrets a pleasure, and no uncivilized man
ever knows what a pleasure is.” |
|
[6.47] “I know what pleasure
is,” cried Dorian Gray. “It is to adore some
one.” |
|
[6.48] “That is certainly
better than being adored,” he answered, toying with some
fruits. “Being adored is a nuisance. Women treat us just as
humanity treats its gods. They worship us, and are always
bothering us to do something for them.” |
|
[6.49] “I should have said that
whatever they ask for they had first given to us,” murmured
the lad gravely. “They create love in our natures. They
have a right to demand it back.” |
|
[6.50] “That is quite true,
Dorian,” cried Hallward. |
|
[6.51] “Nothing is ever quite
true,” said Lord Henry. |
|
[6.52] “This is,”
interrupted Dorian. “You must admit, Harry, that women give
to men the very gold of their lives.” |
|
[6.53] “Possibly,” he
sighed, “but they invariably want it back in such very
small change. That is the worry. Women, as some witty Frenchman
once put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces and
always prevent us from carrying them out.” |
|
[6.54] “Harry, you are
dreadful! I don’t know why I like you so much.” |
|
[6.55] “You will always like
me, Dorian,” he replied. “Will you have some coffee,
you fellows? Waiter, bring coffee, and fine-champagne,
and some cigarettes. No, don’t mind the cigarettes—I have
some. Basil, I can’t allow you to smoke cigars. You must have a
cigarette. A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure.
It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one
want? Yes, Dorian, you will always be fond of me. I represent to
you all the sins you have never had the courage to
commit.” |
|
[6.56] “What nonsense you talk,
Harry!” cried the lad, taking a light from a fire-breathing
silver dragon that the waiter had placed on the table. “Let
us go down to the theatre. When Sibyl comes on the stage you will
have a new ideal of life. She will represent something to you
that you have never known.” |
|
[6.57] “I have known
everything,” said Lord Henry, with a tired look in his
eyes, “but I am always ready for a new emotion. I am
afraid, however, that, for me at any rate, there is no such
thing. Still, your wonderful girl may thrill me. I love acting.
It is so much more real than life. Let us go. Dorian, you will
come with me. I am so sorry, Basil, but there is only room for
two in the brougham. You must follow us in a hansom.” |
|
[6.58] They got up and put on their
coats, sipping their coffee standing. The painter was silent and
preoccupied. There was a gloom over him. He could not bear this
marriage, and yet it seemed to him to be better than many other
things that might have happened. After a few minutes, they all
passed downstairs. He drove off by himself, as had been arranged,
and watched the flashing lights of the little brougham in front
of him. A strange sense of loss came over him. He felt that
Dorian Gray would never again be to him all that he had been in
the past. Life had come between them. . . . His
eyes darkened, and the crowded flaring streets became blurred to
his eyes. When the cab drew up at the theatre, it seemed to him
that he had grown years older. |
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Chapter 7 |
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[7.1] For some reason or other, the
house was crowded that night, and the fat Jew manager who met
them at the door was beaming from ear to ear with an oily
tremulous smile. He escorted them to their box with a sort of
pompous humility, waving his fat jewelled hands and talking at
the top of his voice. Dorian Gray loathed him more than ever. He
felt as if he had come to look for Miranda and had been met by
Caliban. Lord Henry, upon the other hand, rather liked him. At
least he declared he did, and insisted on shaking him by the hand
and assuring him that he was proud to meet a man who had
discovered a real genius and gone bankrupt over a poet. Hallward
amused himself with watching the faces in the pit. The heat was
terribly oppressive, and the huge sunlight flamed like a
monstrous dahlia with petals of yellow fire. The youths in the
gallery had taken off their coats and waistcoats and hung them
over the side. They talked to each other across the theatre and
shared their oranges with the tawdry girls who sat beside them.
Some women were laughing in the pit. Their voices were horribly
shrill and discordant. The sound of the popping of corks came
from the bar. |
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[7.2] “What a place to find
one’s divinity in!” said Lord Henry. |
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[7.3] “Yes!” answered
Dorian Gray. “It was here I found her, and she is divine
beyond all living things. When she acts, you will forget
everything. These common rough people, with their coarse faces
and brutal gestures, become quite different when she is on the
stage. They sit silently and watch her. They weep and laugh as
she wills them to do. She makes them as responsive as a violin.
She spiritualizes them, and one feels that they are of the same
flesh and blood as one’s self.” |
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[7.4] “The same flesh and blood
as one’s self! Oh, I hope not!” exclaimed Lord Henry, who
was scanning the occupants of the gallery through his
opera-glass. |
|
[7.5] “Don’t pay any attention
to him, Dorian,” said the painter. “I understand what
you mean, and I believe in this girl. Any one you love must be
marvellous, and any girl who has the effect you describe must be
fine and noble. To spiritualize one’s age—that is something
worth doing. If this girl can give a soul to those who have lived
without one, if she can create the sense of beauty in people
whose lives have been sordid and ugly, if she can strip them of
their selfishness and lend them tears for sorrows that are not
their own, she is worthy of all your adoration, worthy of the
adoration of the world. This marriage is quite right. I did not
think so at first, but I admit it now. The gods made Sibyl Vane
for you. Without her you would have been incomplete.” |
|
[7.6] “Thanks, Basil,”
answered Dorian Gray, pressing his hand. “I knew that you
would understand me. Harry is so cynical, he terrifies me. But
here is the orchestra. It is quite dreadful, but it only lasts
for about five minutes. Then the curtain rises, and you will see
the girl to whom I am going to give all my life, to whom I have
given everything that is good in me.” |
|
[7.7] A quarter of an hour
afterwards, amidst an extraordinary turmoil of applause, Sibyl
Vane stepped on to the stage. Yes, she was certainly lovely to
look at—one of the loveliest creatures, Lord Henry thought,
that he had ever seen. There was something of the fawn in her shy
grace and startled eyes. A faint blush, like the shadow of a rose
in a mirror of silver, came to her cheeks as she glanced at the
crowded enthusiastic house. She stepped back a few paces and her
lips seemed to tremble. Basil Hallward leaped to his feet and
began to applaud. Motionless, and as one in a dream, sat Dorian
Gray, gazing at her. Lord Henry peered through his glasses,
murmuring, “Charming! charming!” |
|
[7.8] The scene was the hall of
Capulet’s house, and Romeo in his pilgrim’s dress had entered
with Mercutio and his other friends. The band, such as it was,
struck up a few bars of music, and the dance began. Through the
crowd of ungainly, shabbily dressed actors, Sibyl Vane moved like
a creature from a finer world. Her body swayed, while she danced,
as a plant sways in the water. The curves of her throat were the
curves of a white lily. Her hands seemed to be made of cool
ivory. |
|
[7.9] Yet she was curiously listless.
She showed no sign of joy when her eyes rested on Romeo. The few
words she had to speak— |
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|
with the brief dialogue that follows, were spoken in a
thoroughly artificial manner. The voice was exquisite, but from
the point of view of tone it was absolutely false. It was wrong
in colour. It took away all the life from the verse. It made the
passion unreal. |
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[7.10] Dorian Gray grew pale as he
watched her. He was puzzled and anxious. Neither of his friends
dared to say anything to him. She seemed to them to be absolutely
incompetent. They were horribly disappointed. |
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[7.11] Yet they felt that the true
test of any Juliet is the balcony scene of the second act. They
waited for that. If she failed there, there was nothing in
her. |
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[7.12] She looked charming as she
came out in the moonlight. That could not be denied. But the
staginess of her acting was unbearable, and grew worse as she
went on. Her gestures became absurdly artificial. She
overemphasized everything that she had to say. The beautiful
passage— |
|
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was declaimed with the painful precision of a schoolgirl who
has been taught to recite by some second-rate professor of
elocution. When she leaned over the balcony and came to those
wonderful lines— |
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she spoke the words as though they conveyed no meaning to her.
It was not nervousness. Indeed, so far from being nervous, she
was absolutely self-contained. It was simply bad art. She was a
complete failure. |
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[7.13] Even the common uneducated
audience of the pit and gallery lost their interest in the play.
They got restless, and began to talk loudly and to whistle. The
Jew manager, who was standing at the back of the dress-circle,
stamped and swore with rage. The only person unmoved was the girl
herself. |
|
[7.14] When the second act was over,
there came a storm of hisses, and Lord Henry got up from his
chair and put on his coat. “She is quite beautiful,
Dorian,” he said, “but she can’t act. Let us
go.” |
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[7.15] “I am going to see the
play through,” answered the lad, in a hard bitter voice.
“I am awfully sorry that I have made you waste an evening,
Harry. I apologize to you both.” |
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[7.16] “My dear Dorian, I
should think Miss Vane was ill,” interrupted Hallward.
“We will come some other night.” |
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[7.17] “I wish she were
ill,” he rejoined. “But she seems to me to be simply
callous and cold. She has entirely altered. Last night she was a
great artist. This evening she is merely a commonplace mediocre
actress.” |
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[7.18] “Don’t talk like that
about any one you love, Dorian. Love is a more wonderful thing
than art.” |
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[7.19] “They are both simply
forms of imitation,” remarked Lord Henry. “But do let
us go. Dorian, you must not stay here any longer. It is not good
for one’s morals to see bad acting. Besides, I don’t suppose you
will want your wife to act, so what does it matter if she plays
Juliet like a wooden doll? She is very lovely, and if she knows
as little about life as she does about acting, she will be a
delightful experience. There are only two kinds of people who are
really fascinating—people who know absolutely everything,
and people who know absolutely nothing. Good heavens, my dear
boy, don’t look so tragic! The secret of remaining young is never
to have an emotion that is unbecoming. Come to the club with
Basil and myself. We will smoke cigarettes and drink to the
beauty of Sibyl Vane. She is beautiful. What more can you
want?” |
|
[7.20] “Go away, Harry,”
cried the lad. “I want to be alone. Basil, you must go. Ah!
can’t you see that my heart is breaking?” The hot tears
came to his eyes. His lips trembled, and rushing to the back of
the box, he leaned up against the wall, hiding his face in his
hands. |
|
[7.21] “Let us go,
Basil,” said Lord Henry with a strange tenderness in his
voice, and the two young men passed out together. |
|
[7.22] A few moments afterwards the
footlights flared up and the curtain rose on the third act.
Dorian Gray went back to his seat. He looked pale, and proud, and
indifferent. The play dragged on, and seemed interminable. Half
of the audience went out, tramping in heavy boots and laughing.
The whole thing was a fiasco. The last act was played to almost
empty benches. The curtain went down on a titter and some
groans. |
|
[7.23] As soon as it was over, Dorian
Gray rushed behind the scenes into the greenroom. The girl was
standing there alone, with a look of triumph on her face. Her
eyes were lit with an exquisite fire. There was a radiance about
her. Her parted lips were smiling over some secret of their
own. |
|
[7.24] When he entered, she looked at
him, and an expression of infinite joy came over her. “How
badly I acted to-night, Dorian!” she cried. |
|
[7.25] “Horribly!” he
answered, gazing at her in amazement. “Horribly! It was
dreadful. Are you ill? You have no idea what it was. You have no
idea what I suffered.” |
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[7.26] The girl smiled.
“Dorian,” she answered, lingering over his name with
long-drawn music in her voice, as though it were sweeter than
honey to the red petals of her mouth. “Dorian, you should
have understood. But you understand now, don’t you?” |
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[7.27] “Understand what?”
he asked, angrily. |
|
[7.28] “Why I was so bad
to-night. Why I shall always be bad. Why I shall never act well
again.” |
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[7.29] He shrugged his shoulders.
“You are ill, I suppose. When you are ill you shouldn’t
act. You make yourself ridiculous. My friends were bored. I was
bored.” |
|
[7.30] She seemed not to listen to
him. She was transfigured with joy. An ecstasy of happiness
dominated her. |
|
[7.31] “Dorian, Dorian,”
she cried, “before I knew you, acting was the one reality
of my life. It was only in the theatre that I lived. I thought
that it was all true. I was Rosalind one night and Portia the
other. The joy of Beatrice was my joy, and the sorrows of
Cordelia were mine also. I believed in everything. The common
people who acted with me seemed to me to be godlike. The painted
scenes were my world. I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought
them real. You came—oh, my beautiful love!—and you
freed my soul from prison. You taught me what reality really is.
To-night, for the first time in my life, I saw through the
hollowness, the sham, the silliness of the empty pageant in which
I had always played. To-night, for the first time, I became
conscious that the Romeo was hideous, and old, and painted, that
the moonlight in the orchard was false, that the scenery was
vulgar, and that the words I had to speak were unreal, were not
my words, were not what I wanted to say. You had brought me
something higher, something of which all art is but a reflection.
You had made me understand what love really is. My love! My love!
Prince Charming! Prince of life! I have grown sick of shadows.
You are more to me than all art can ever be. What have I to do
with the puppets of a play? When I came on to-night, I could not
understand how it was that everything had gone from me. I thought
that I was going to be wonderful. I found that I could do
nothing. Suddenly it dawned on my soul what it all meant. The
knowledge was exquisite to me. I heard them hissing, and I
smiled. What could they know of love such as ours? Take me away,
Dorian—take me away with you, where we can be quite alone.
I hate the stage. I might mimic a passion that I do not feel, but
I cannot mimic one that burns me like fire. Oh, Dorian, Dorian,
you understand now what it signifies? Even if I could do it, it
would be profanation for me to play at being in love. You have
made me see that.” |
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[7.32] He flung himself down on the
sofa and turned away his face. “You have killed my
love,” he muttered. |
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[7.33] She looked at him in wonder
and laughed. He made no answer. She came across to him, and with
her little fingers stroked his hair. She knelt down and pressed
his hands to her lips. He drew them away, and a shudder ran
through him. |
|
[7.34] Then he leaped up and went to
the door. “Yes,” he cried, “you have killed my
love. You used to stir my imagination. Now you don’t even stir my
curiosity. You simply produce no effect. I loved you because you
were marvellous, because you had genius and intellect, because
you realized the dreams of great poets and gave shape and
substance to the shadows of art. You have thrown it all away. You
are shallow and stupid. My God! how mad I was to love you! What a
fool I have been! You are nothing to me now. I will never see you
again. I will never think of you. I will never mention your name.
You don’t know what you were to me, once. Why, once
. . . Oh, I can’t bear to think of it! I wish I had
never laid eyes upon you! You have spoiled the romance of my
life. How little you can know of love, if you say it mars your
art! Without your art, you are nothing. I would have made you
famous, splendid, magnificent. The world would have worshipped
you, and you would have borne my name. What are you now? A
third-rate actress with a pretty face.” |
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[7.35] The girl grew white, and
trembled. She clenched her hands together, and her voice seemed
to catch in her throat. “You are not serious,
Dorian?” she murmured. “You are acting.” |
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[7.36] “Acting! I leave that to
you. You do it so well,” he answered bitterly. |
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[7.37] She rose from her knees and,
with a piteous expression of pain in her face, came across the
room to him. She put her hand upon his arm and looked into his
eyes. He thrust her back. “Don’t touch me!” he
cried. |
|
[7.38] A low moan broke from her, and
she flung herself at his feet and lay there like a trampled
flower. “Dorian, Dorian, don’t leave me!” she
whispered. “I am so sorry I didn’t act well. I was thinking
of you all the time. But I will try—indeed, I will try. It
came so suddenly across me, my love for you. I think I should
never have known it if you had not kissed me—if we had not
kissed each other. Kiss me again, my love. Don’t go away from me.
I couldn’t bear it. Oh! don’t go away from me. My brother
. . . No; never mind. He didn’t mean it. He was in
jest. . . . But you, oh! can’t you forgive me for
to-night? I will work so hard and try to improve. Don’t be cruel
to me, because I love you better than anything in the world.
After all, it is only once that I have not pleased you. But you
are quite right, Dorian. I should have shown myself more of an
artist. It was foolish of me, and yet I couldn’t help it. Oh,
don’t leave me, don’t leave me.” A fit of passionate
sobbing choked her. She crouched on the floor like a wounded
thing, and Dorian Gray, with his beautiful eyes, looked down at
her, and his chiselled lips curled in exquisite disdain. There is
always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one
has ceased to love. Sibyl Vane seemed to him to be absurdly
melodramatic. Her tears and sobs annoyed him. |
|
[7.39] “I am going,” he
said at last in his calm clear voice. “I don’t wish to be
unkind, but I can’t see you again. You have disappointed
me.” |
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[7.40] She wept silently, and made no
answer, but crept nearer. Her little hands stretched blindly out,
and appeared to be seeking for him. He turned on his heel and
left the room. In a few moments he was out of the theatre. |
|
[7.41] Where he went to he hardly
knew. He remembered wandering through dimly lit streets, past
gaunt, black-shadowed archways and evil-looking houses. Women
with hoarse voices and harsh laughter had called after him.
Drunkards had reeled by, cursing and chattering to themselves
like monstrous apes. He had seen grotesque children huddled upon
door-steps, and heard shrieks and oaths from gloomy courts. |
|
[7.42] As the dawn was just breaking,
he found himself close to Covent Garden. The darkness lifted,
and, flushed with faint fires, the sky hollowed itself into a
perfect pearl. Huge carts filled with nodding lilies rumbled
slowly down the polished empty street. The air was heavy with the
perfume of the flowers, and their beauty seemed to bring him an
anodyne for his pain. He followed into the market and watched the
men unloading their waggons. A white-smocked carter offered him
some cherries. He thanked him, wondered why he refused to accept
any money for them, and began to eat them listlessly. They had
been plucked at midnight, and the coldness of the moon had
entered into them. A long line of boys carrying crates of striped
tulips, and of yellow and red roses, defiled in front of him,
threading their way through the huge, jade-green piles of
vegetables. Under the portico, with its grey, sun-bleached
pillars, loitered a troop of draggled bareheaded girls, waiting
for the auction to be over. Others crowded round the swinging
doors of the coffee-house in the piazza. The heavy cart-horses
slipped and stamped upon the rough stones, shaking their bells
and trappings. Some of the drivers were lying asleep on a pile of
sacks. Iris-necked and pink-footed, the pigeons ran about picking
up seeds. |
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[7.43] After a little while, he
hailed a hansom and drove home. For a few moments he loitered
upon the doorstep, looking round at the silent square, with its
blank, close-shuttered windows and its staring blinds. The sky
was pure opal now, and the roofs of the houses glistened like
silver against it. From some chimney opposite a thin wreath of
smoke was rising. It curled, a violet riband, through the
nacre-coloured air. |
|
[7.44] In the huge gilt Venetian
lantern, spoil of some Doge’s barge, that hung from the ceiling
of the great, oak-panelled hall of entrance, lights were still
burning from three flickering jets: thin blue petals of flame
they seemed, rimmed with white fire. He turned them out and,
having thrown his hat and cape on the table, passed through the
library towards the door of his bedroom, a large octagonal
chamber on the ground floor that, in his new-born feeling for
luxury, he had just had decorated for himself and hung with some
curious Renaissance tapestries that had been discovered stored in
a disused attic at Selby Royal. As he was turning the handle of
the door, his eye fell upon the portrait Basil Hallward had
painted of him. He started back as if in surprise. Then he went
on into his own room, looking somewhat puzzled. After he had
taken the button-hole out of his coat, he seemed to hesitate.
Finally, he came back, went over to the picture, and examined it.
In the dim arrested light that struggled through the
cream-coloured silk blinds, the face appeared to him to be a
little changed. The expression looked different. One would have
said that there was a touch of cruelty in the mouth. It was
certainly strange. |
|
[7.45] He turned round and, walking
to the window, drew up the blind. The bright dawn flooded the
room and swept the fantastic shadows into dusky corners, where
they lay shuddering. But the strange expression that he had
noticed in the face of the portrait seemed to linger there, to be
more intensified even. The quivering ardent sunlight showed him
the lines of cruelty round the mouth as clearly as if he had been
looking into a mirror after he had done some dreadful thing. |
|
[7.46] He winced and, taking up from
the table an oval glass framed in ivory Cupids, one of Lord
Henry’s many presents to him, glanced hurriedly into its polished
depths. No line like that warped his red lips. What did it
mean? |
|
[7.47] He rubbed his eyes, and came
close to the picture, and examined it again. There were no signs
of any change when he looked into the actual painting, and yet
there was no doubt that the whole expression had altered. It was
not a mere fancy of his own. The thing was horribly apparent. |
|
[7.48] He threw himself into a chair
and began to think. Suddenly there flashed across his mind what
he had said in Basil Hallward’s studio the day the picture had
been finished. Yes, he remembered it perfectly. He had uttered a
mad wish that he himself might remain young, and the portrait
grow old; that his own beauty might be untarnished, and the face
on the canvas bear the burden of his passions and his sins; that
the painted image might be seared with the lines of suffering and
thought, and that he might keep all the delicate bloom and
loveliness of his then just conscious boyhood. Surely his wish
had not been fulfilled? Such things were impossible. It seemed
monstrous even to think of them. And, yet, there was the picture
before him, with the touch of cruelty in the mouth. |
|
[7.49] Cruelty! Had he been cruel? It
was the girl’s fault, not his. He had dreamed of her as a great
artist, had given his love to her because he had thought her
great. Then she had disappointed him. She had been shallow and
unworthy. And, yet, a feeling of infinite regret came over him,
as he thought of her lying at his feet sobbing like a little
child. He remembered with what callousness he had watched her.
Why had he been made like that? Why had such a soul been given to
him? But he had suffered also. During the three terrible hours
that the play had lasted, he had lived centuries of pain, aeon
upon aeon of torture. His life was well worth hers. She had
marred him for a moment, if he had wounded her for an age.
Besides, women were better suited to bear sorrow than men. They
lived on their emotions. They only thought of their emotions.
When they took lovers, it was merely to have some one with whom
they could have scenes. Lord Henry had told him that, and Lord
Henry knew what women were. Why should he trouble about Sibyl
Vane? She was nothing to him now. |
|
[7.50] But the picture? What was he
to say of that? It held the secret of his life, and told his
story. It had taught him to love his own beauty. Would it teach
him to loathe his own soul? Would he ever look at it again? |
|
[7.51] No; it was merely an illusion
wrought on the troubled senses. The horrible night that he had
passed had left phantoms behind it. Suddenly there had fallen
upon his brain that tiny scarlet speck that makes men mad. The
picture had not changed. It was folly to think so. |
|
[7.52] Yet it was watching him, with
its beautiful marred face and its cruel smile. Its bright hair
gleamed in the early sunlight. Its blue eyes met his own. A sense
of infinite pity, not for himself, but for the painted image of
himself, came over him. It had altered already, and would alter
more. Its gold would wither into grey. Its red and white roses
would die. For every sin that he committed, a stain would fleck
and wreck its fairness. But he would not sin. The picture,
changed or unchanged, would be to him the visible emblem of
conscience. He would resist temptation. He would not see Lord
Henry any more—would not, at any rate, listen to those
subtle poisonous theories that in Basil Hallward’s garden had
first stirred within him the passion for impossible things. He
would go back to Sibyl Vane, make her amends, marry her, try to
love her again. Yes, it was his duty to do so. She must have
suffered more than he had. Poor child! He had been selfish and
cruel to her. The fascination that she had exercised over him
would return. They would be happy together. His life with her
would be beautiful and pure. |
|
[7.53] He got up from his chair and
drew a large screen right in front of the portrait, shuddering as
he glanced at it. “How horrible!” he murmured to
himself, and he walked across to the window and opened it. When
he stepped out on to the grass, he drew a deep breath. The fresh
morning air seemed to drive away all his sombre passions. He
thought only of Sibyl. A faint echo of his love came back to him.
He repeated her name over and over again. The birds that were
singing in the dew-drenched garden seemed to be telling the
flowers about her. |
|
|
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Chapter 8 |
|
[8.1] It was long past noon when he
awoke. His valet had crept several times on tiptoe into the room
to see if he was stirring, and had wondered what made his young
master sleep so late. Finally his bell sounded, and Victor came
in softly with a cup of tea, and a pile of letters, on a small
tray of old Sevres china, and drew back the olive-satin curtains,
with their shimmering blue lining, that hung in front of the
three tall windows. |
|
[8.2] “Monsieur has well slept
this morning,” he said, smiling. |
|
[8.3] “What o’clock is it,
Victor?” asked Dorian Gray drowsily. |
|
[8.4] “One hour and a quarter,
Monsieur.” |
|
[8.5] How late it was! He sat up, and
having sipped some tea, turned over his letters. One of them was
from Lord Henry, and had been brought by hand that morning. He
hesitated for a moment, and then put it aside. The others he
opened listlessly. They contained the usual collection of cards,
invitations to dinner, tickets for private views, programmes of
charity concerts, and the like that are showered on fashionable
young men every morning during the season. There was a rather
heavy bill for a chased silver Louis-Quinze toilet-set that he
had not yet had the courage to send on to his guardians, who were
extremely old-fashioned people and did not realize that we live
in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities; and
there were several very courteously worded communications from
Jermyn Street money-lenders offering to advance any sum of money
at a moment’s notice and at the most reasonable rates of
interest. |
|
[8.6] After about ten minutes he got
up, and throwing on an elaborate dressing-gown of
silk-embroidered cashmere wool, passed into the onyx-paved
bathroom. The cool water refreshed him after his long sleep. He
seemed to have forgotten all that he had gone through. A dim
sense of having taken part in some strange tragedy came to him
once or twice, but there was the unreality of a dream about
it. |
|
[8.7] As soon as he was dressed, he
went into the library and sat down to a light French breakfast
that had been laid out for him on a small round table close to
the open window. It was an exquisite day. The warm air seemed
laden with spices. A bee flew in and buzzed round the blue-dragon
bowl that, filled with sulphur-yellow roses, stood before him. He
felt perfectly happy. |
|
[8.8] Suddenly his eye fell on the
screen that he had placed in front of the portrait, and he
started. |
|
[8.9] “Too cold for
Monsieur?” asked his valet, putting an omelette on the
table. “I shut the window?” |
|
[8.10] Dorian shook his head.
“I am not cold,” he murmured. |
|
[8.11] Was it all true? Had the
portrait really changed? Or had it been simply his own
imagination that had made him see a look of evil where there had
been a look of joy? Surely a painted canvas could not alter? The
thing was absurd. It would serve as a tale to tell Basil some
day. It would make him smile. |
|
[8.12] And, yet, how vivid was his
recollection of the whole thing! First in the dim twilight, and
then in the bright dawn, he had seen the touch of cruelty round
the warped lips. He almost dreaded his valet leaving the room. He
knew that when he was alone he would have to examine the
portrait. He was afraid of certainty. When the coffee and
cigarettes had been brought and the man turned to go, he felt a
wild desire to tell him to remain. As the door was closing behind
him, he called him back. The man stood waiting for his orders.
Dorian looked at him for a moment. “I am not at home to any
one, Victor,” he said with a sigh. The man bowed and
retired. |
|
[8.13] Then he rose from the table,
lit a cigarette, and flung himself down on a luxuriously
cushioned couch that stood facing the screen. The screen was an
old one, of gilt Spanish leather, stamped and wrought with a
rather florid Louis-Quatorze pattern. He scanned it curiously,
wondering if ever before it had concealed the secret of a man’s
life. |
|
[8.14] Should he move it aside, after
all? Why not let it stay there? What was the use of knowing? If
the thing was true, it was terrible. If it was not true, why
trouble about it? But what if, by some fate or deadlier chance,
eyes other than his spied behind and saw the horrible change?
What should he do if Basil Hallward came and asked to look at his
own picture? Basil would be sure to do that. No; the thing had to
be examined, and at once. Anything would be better than this
dreadful state of doubt. |
|
[8.15] He got up and locked both
doors. At least he would be alone when he looked upon the mask of
his shame. Then he drew the screen aside and saw himself face to
face. It was perfectly true. The portrait had altered. |
|
[8.16] As he often remembered
afterwards, and always with no small wonder, he found himself at
first gazing at the portrait with a feeling of almost scientific
interest. That such a change should have taken place was
incredible to him. And yet it was a fact. Was there some subtle
affinity between the chemical atoms that shaped themselves into
form and colour on the canvas and the soul that was within him?
Could it be that what that soul thought, they
realized?—that what it dreamed, they made true? Or was
there some other, more terrible reason? He shuddered, and felt
afraid, and, going back to the couch, lay there, gazing at the
picture in sickened horror. |
|
[8.17] One thing, however, he felt
that it had done for him. It had made him conscious how unjust,
how cruel, he had been to Sibyl Vane. It was not too late to make
reparation for that. She could still be his wife. His unreal and
selfish love would yield to some higher influence, would be
transformed into some nobler passion, and the portrait that Basil
Hallward had painted of him would be a guide to him through life,
would be to him what holiness is to some, and conscience to
others, and the fear of God to us all. There were opiates for
remorse, drugs that could lull the moral sense to sleep. But here
was a visible symbol of the degradation of sin. Here was an
ever-present sign of the ruin men brought upon their souls. |
|
[8.18] Three o’clock struck, and
four, and the half-hour rang its double chime, but Dorian Gray
did not stir. He was trying to gather up the scarlet threads of
life and to weave them into a pattern; to find his way through
the sanguine labyrinth of passion through which he was wandering.
He did not know what to do, or what to think. Finally, he went
over to the table and wrote a passionate letter to the girl he
had loved, imploring her forgiveness and accusing himself of
madness. He covered page after page with wild words of sorrow and
wilder words of pain. There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we
blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame
us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us
absolution. When Dorian had finished the letter, he felt that he
had been forgiven. |
|
[8.19] Suddenly there came a knock to
the door, and he heard Lord Henry’s voice outside. “My dear
boy, I must see you. Let me in at once. I can’t bear your
shutting yourself up like this.” |
|
[8.20] He made no answer at first,
but remained quite still. The knocking still continued and grew
louder. Yes, it was better to let Lord Henry in, and to explain
to him the new life he was going to lead, to quarrel with him if
it became necessary to quarrel, to part if parting was
inevitable. He jumped up, drew the screen hastily across the
picture, and unlocked the door. |
|
[8.21] “I am so sorry for it
all, Dorian,” said Lord Henry as he entered. “But you
must not think too much about it.” |
|
[8.22] “Do you mean about Sibyl
Vane?” asked the lad. |
|
[8.23] “Yes, of course,”
answered Lord Henry, sinking into a chair and slowly pulling off
his yellow gloves. “It is dreadful, from one point of view,
but it was not your fault. Tell me, did you go behind and see
her, after the play was over?” |
|
[8.24] “Yes.” |
|
[8.25] “I felt sure you had.
Did you make a scene with her?” |
|
[8.26] “I was brutal,
Harry—perfectly brutal. But it is all right now. I am not
sorry for anything that has happened. It has taught me to know
myself better.” |
|
[8.27] “Ah, Dorian, I am so
glad you take it in that way! I was afraid I would find you
plunged in remorse and tearing that nice curly hair of
yours.” |
|
[8.28] “I have got through all
that,” said Dorian, shaking his head and smiling. “I
am perfectly happy now. I know what conscience is, to begin with.
It is not what you told me it was. It is the divinest thing in
us. Don’t sneer at it, Harry, any more—at least not before
me. I want to be good. I can’t bear the idea of my soul being
hideous.” |
|
[8.29] “A very charming
artistic basis for ethics, Dorian! I congratulate you on it. But
how are you going to begin?” |
|
[8.30] “By marrying Sibyl
Vane.” |
|
[8.31] “Marrying Sibyl
Vane!” cried Lord Henry, standing up and looking at him in
perplexed amazement. “But, my dear
Dorian——” |
|
[8.32] “Yes, Harry, I know what
you are going to say. Something dreadful about marriage. Don’t
say it. Don’t ever say things of that kind to me again. Two days
ago I asked Sibyl to marry me. I am not going to break my word to
her. She is to be my wife.” |
|
[8.33] “Your wife! Dorian!
. . . Didn’t you get my letter? I wrote to you this
morning, and sent the note down by my own man.” |
|
[8.34] “Your letter? Oh, yes, I
remember. I have not read it yet, Harry. I was afraid there might
be something in it that I wouldn’t like. You cut life to pieces
with your epigrams.” |
|
[8.35] “You know nothing
then?” |
|
[8.36] “What do you
mean?” |
|
[8.37] Lord Henry walked across the
room, and sitting down by Dorian Gray, took both his hands in his
own and held them tightly. “Dorian,” he said,
“my letter—don’t be frightened—was to tell you
that Sibyl Vane is dead.” |
|
[8.38] A cry of pain broke from the
lad’s lips, and he leaped to his feet, tearing his hands away
from Lord Henry’s grasp. “Dead! Sibyl dead! It is not true!
It is a horrible lie! How dare you say it?” |
|
[8.39] “It is quite true,
Dorian,” said Lord Henry, gravely. “It is in all the
morning papers. I wrote down to you to ask you not to see any one
till I came. There will have to be an inquest, of course, and you
must not be mixed up in it. Things like that make a man
fashionable in Paris. But in London people are so prejudiced.
Here, one should never make one’s début with a
scandal. One should reserve that to give an interest to one’s old
age. I suppose they don’t know your name at the theatre? If they
don’t, it is all right. Did any one see you going round to her
room? That is an important point.” |
|
[8.40] Dorian did not answer for a
few moments. He was dazed with horror. Finally he stammered, in a
stifled voice, “Harry, did you say an inquest? What did you
mean by that? Did Sibyl——? Oh, Harry, I can’t bear
it! But be quick. Tell me everything at once.” |
|
[8.41] “I have no doubt it was
not an accident, Dorian, though it must be put in that way to the
public. It seems that as she was leaving the theatre with her
mother, about half-past twelve or so, she said she had forgotten
something upstairs. They waited some time for her, but she did
not come down again. They ultimately found her lying dead on the
floor of her dressing-room. She had swallowed something by
mistake, some dreadful thing they use at theatres. I don’t know
what it was, but it had either prussic acid or white lead in it.
I should fancy it was prussic acid, as she seems to have died
instantaneously.” |
|
[8.42] “Harry, Harry, it is
terrible!” cried the lad. |
|
[8.43] “Yes; it is very tragic,
of course, but you must not get yourself mixed up in it. I see by
The Standard that she was seventeen. I should have
thought she was almost younger than that. She looked such a
child, and seemed to know so little about acting. Dorian, you
mustn’t let this thing get on your nerves. You must come and dine
with me, and afterwards we will look in at the opera. It is a
Patti night, and everybody will be there. You can come to my
sister’s box. She has got some smart women with her.” |
|
[8.44] “So I have murdered
Sibyl Vane,” said Dorian Gray, half to himself,
“murdered her as surely as if I had cut her little throat
with a knife. Yet the roses are not less lovely for all that. The
birds sing just as happily in my garden. And to-night I am to
dine with you, and then go on to the opera, and sup somewhere, I
suppose, afterwards. How extraordinarily dramatic life is! If I
had read all this in a book, Harry, I think I would have wept
over it. Somehow, now that it has happened actually, and to me,
it seems far too wonderful for tears. Here is the first
passionate love-letter I have ever written in my life. Strange,
that my first passionate love-letter should have been addressed
to a dead girl. Can they feel, I wonder, those white silent
people we call the dead? Sibyl! Can she feel, or know, or listen?
Oh, Harry, how I loved her once! It seems years ago to me now.
She was everything to me. Then came that dreadful night—was
it really only last night?—when she played so badly, and my
heart almost broke. She explained it all to me. It was terribly
pathetic. But I was not moved a bit. I thought her shallow.
Suddenly something happened that made me afraid. I can’t tell you
what it was, but it was terrible. I said I would go back to her.
I felt I had done wrong. And now she is dead. My God! My God!
Harry, what shall I do? You don’t know the danger I am in, and
there is nothing to keep me straight. She would have done that
for me. She had no right to kill herself. It was selfish of
her.” |
|
[8.45] “My dear Dorian,”
answered Lord Henry, taking a cigarette from his case and
producing a gold-latten matchbox, “the only way a woman can
ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses
all possible interest in life. If you had married this girl, you
would have been wretched. Of course, you would have treated her
kindly. One can always be kind to people about whom one cares
nothing. But she would have soon found out that you were
absolutely indifferent to her. And when a woman finds that out
about her husband, she either becomes dreadfully dowdy, or wears
very smart bonnets that some other woman’s husband has to pay
for. I say nothing about the social mistake, which would have
been abject—which, of course, I would not have
allowed—but I assure you that in any case the whole thing
would have been an absolute failure.” |
|
[8.46] “I suppose it
would,” muttered the lad, walking up and down the room and
looking horribly pale. “But I thought it was my duty. It is
not my fault that this terrible tragedy has prevented my doing
what was right. I remember your saying once that there is a
fatality about good resolutions—that they are always made
too late. Mine certainly were.” |
|
[8.47] “Good resolutions are
useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin
is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil. They
give us, now and then, some of those luxurious sterile emotions
that have a certain charm for the weak. That is all that can be
said for them. They are simply cheques that men draw on a bank
where they have no account.” |
|
[8.48] “Harry,” cried
Dorian Gray, coming over and sitting down beside him, “why
is it that I cannot feel this tragedy as much as I want to? I
don’t think I am heartless. Do you?” |
|
[8.49] “You have done too many
foolish things during the last fortnight to be entitled to give
yourself that name, Dorian,” answered Lord Henry with his
sweet melancholy smile. |
|
[8.50] The lad frowned. “I
don’t like that explanation, Harry,” he rejoined,
“but I am glad you don’t think I am heartless. I am nothing
of the kind. I know I am not. And yet I must admit that this
thing that has happened does not affect me as it should. It seems
to me to be simply like a wonderful ending to a wonderful play.
It has all the terrible beauty of a Greek tragedy, a tragedy in
which I took a great part, but by which I have not been
wounded.” |
|
[8.51] “It is an interesting
question,” said Lord Henry, who found an exquisite pleasure
in playing on the lad’s unconscious egotism, “an extremely
interesting question. I fancy that the true explanation is this:
It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such an
inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence,
their absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their
entire lack of style. They affect us just as vulgarity affects
us. They give us an impression of sheer brute force, and we
revolt against that. Sometimes, however, a tragedy that possesses
artistic elements of beauty crosses our lives. If these elements
of beauty are real, the whole thing simply appeals to our sense
of dramatic effect. Suddenly we find that we are no longer the
actors, but the spectators of the play. Or rather we are both. We
watch ourselves, and the mere wonder of the spectacle enthralls
us. In the present case, what is it that has really happened?
Some one has killed herself for love of you. I wish that I had
ever had such an experience. It would have made me in love with
love for the rest of my life. The people who have adored
me—there have not been very many, but there have been
some—have always insisted on living on, long after I had
ceased to care for them, or they to care for me. They have become
stout and tedious, and when I meet them, they go in at once for
reminiscences. That awful memory of woman! What a fearful thing
it is! And what an utter intellectual stagnation it reveals! One
should absorb the colour of life, but one should never remember
its details. Details are always vulgar.” |
|
[8.52] “I must sow poppies in
my garden,” sighed Dorian. |
|
[8.53] “There is no
necessity,” rejoined his companion. “Life has always
poppies in her hands. Of course, now and then things linger. I
once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form
of artistic mourning for a romance that would not die.
Ultimately, however, it did die. I forget what killed it. I think
it was her proposing to sacrifice the whole world for me. That is
always a dreadful moment. It fills one with the terror of
eternity. Well—would you believe it?—a week ago, at
Lady Hampshire’s, I found myself seated at dinner next the lady
in question, and she insisted on going over the whole thing
again, and digging up the past, and raking up the future. I had
buried my romance in a bed of asphodel. She dragged it out again
and assured me that I had spoiled her life. I am bound to state
that she ate an enormous dinner, so I did not feel any anxiety.
But what a lack of taste she showed! The one charm of the past is
that it is the past. But women never know when the curtain has
fallen. They always want a sixth act, and as soon as the interest
of the play is entirely over, they propose to continue it. If
they were allowed their own way, every comedy would have a tragic
ending, and every tragedy would culminate in a farce. They are
charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of art. You are
more fortunate than I am. I assure you, Dorian, that not one of
the women I have known would have done for me what Sibyl Vane did
for you. Ordinary women always console themselves. Some of them
do it by going in for sentimental colours. Never trust a woman
who wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a woman over
thirty-five who is fond of pink ribbons. It always means that
they have a history. Others find a great consolation in suddenly
discovering the good qualities of their husbands. They flaunt
their conjugal felicity in one’s face, as if it were the most
fascinating of sins. Religion consoles some. Its mysteries have
all the charm of a flirtation, a woman once told me, and I can
quite understand it. Besides, nothing makes one so vain as being
told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.
Yes; there is really no end to the consolations that women find
in modern life. Indeed, I have not mentioned the most important
one.” |
|
[8.54] “What is that,
Harry?” said the lad listlessly. |
|
[8.55] “Oh, the obvious
consolation. Taking some one else’s admirer when one loses one’s
own. In good society that always whitewashes a woman. But really,
Dorian, how different Sibyl Vane must have been from all the
women one meets! There is something to me quite beautiful about
her death. I am glad I am living in a century when such wonders
happen. They make one believe in the reality of the things we all
play with, such as romance, passion, and love.” |
|
[8.56] “I was terribly cruel to
her. You forget that.” |
|
[8.57] “I am afraid that women
appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything else.
They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated
them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters, all the
same. They love being dominated. I am sure you were splendid. I
have never seen you really and absolutely angry, but I can fancy
how delightful you looked. And, after all, you said something to
me the day before yesterday that seemed to me at the time to be
merely fanciful, but that I see now was absolutely true, and it
holds the key to everything.” |
|
[8.58] “What was that,
Harry?” |
|
[8.59] “You said to me that
Sibyl Vane represented to you all the heroines of
romance—that she was Desdemona one night, and Ophelia the
other; that if she died as Juliet, she came to life as
Imogen.” |
|
[8.60] “She will never come to
life again now,” muttered the lad, burying his face in his
hands. |
|
[8.61] “No, she will never come
to life. She has played her last part. But you must think of that
lonely death in the tawdry dressing-room simply as a strange
lurid fragment from some Jacobean tragedy, as a wonderful scene
from Webster, or Ford, or Cyril Tourneur. The girl never really
lived, and so she has never really died. To you at least she was
always a dream, a phantom that flitted through Shakespeare’s
plays and left them lovelier for its presence, a reed through
which Shakespeare’s music sounded richer and more full of joy.
The moment she touched actual life, she marred it, and it marred
her, and so she passed away. Mourn for Ophelia, if you like. Put
ashes on your head because Cordelia was strangled. Cry out
against Heaven because the daughter of Brabantio died. But don’t
waste your tears over Sibyl Vane. She was less real than they
are.” |
|
[8.62] There was a silence. The
evening darkened in the room. Noiselessly, and with silver feet,
the shadows crept in from the garden. The colours faded wearily
out of things. |
|
[8.63] After some time Dorian Gray
looked up. “You have explained me to myself, Harry,”
he murmured with something of a sigh of relief. “I felt all
that you have said, but somehow I was afraid of it, and I could
not express it to myself. How well you know me! But we will not
talk again of what has happened. It has been a marvellous
experience. That is all. I wonder if life has still in store for
me anything as marvellous.” |
|
[8.64] “Life has everything in
store for you, Dorian. There is nothing that you, with your
extraordinary good looks, will not be able to do.” |
|
[8.65] “But suppose, Harry, I
became haggard, and old, and wrinkled? What then?” |
|
[8.66] “Ah, then,” said
Lord Henry, rising to go, “then, my dear Dorian, you would
have to fight for your victories. As it is, they are brought to
you. No, you must keep your good looks. We live in an age that
reads too much to be wise, and that thinks too much to be
beautiful. We cannot spare you. And now you had better dress and
drive down to the club. We are rather late, as it is.” |
|
[8.67] “I think I shall join
you at the opera, Harry. I feel too tired to eat anything. What
is the number of your sister’s box?” |
|
[8.68] “Twenty-seven, I
believe. It is on the grand tier. You will see her name on the
door. But I am sorry you won’t come and dine.” |
|
[8.69] “I don’t feel up to
it,” said Dorian listlessly. “But I am awfully
obliged to you for all that you have said to me. You are
certainly my best friend. No one has ever understood me as you
have.” |
|
[8.70] “We are only at the
beginning of our friendship, Dorian,” answered Lord Henry,
shaking him by the hand. “Good-bye. I shall see you before
nine-thirty, I hope. Remember, Patti is singing.” |
|
[8.71] As he closed the door behind
him, Dorian Gray touched the bell, and in a few minutes Victor
appeared with the lamps and drew the blinds down. He waited
impatiently for him to go. The man seemed to take an interminable
time over everything. |
|
[8.72] As soon as he had left, he
rushed to the screen and drew it back. No; there was no further
change in the picture. It had received the news of Sibyl Vane’s
death before he had known of it himself. It was conscious of the
events of life as they occurred. The vicious cruelty that marred
the fine lines of the mouth had, no doubt, appeared at the very
moment that the girl had drunk the poison, whatever it was. Or
was it indifferent to results? Did it merely take cognizance of
what passed within the soul? He wondered, and hoped that some day
he would see the change taking place before his very eyes,
shuddering as he hoped it. |
|
[8.73] Poor Sibyl! What a romance it
had all been! She had often mimicked death on the stage. Then
Death himself had touched her and taken her with him. How had she
played that dreadful last scene? Had she cursed him, as she died?
No; she had died for love of him, and love would always be a
sacrament to him now. She had atoned for everything by the
sacrifice she had made of her life. He would not think any more
of what she had made him go through, on that horrible night at
the theatre. When he thought of her, it would be as a wonderful
tragic figure sent on to the world’s stage to show the supreme
reality of love. A wonderful tragic figure? Tears came to his
eyes as he remembered her childlike look, and winsome fanciful
ways, and shy tremulous grace. He brushed them away hastily and
looked again at the picture. |
|
[8.74] He felt that the time had
really come for making his choice. Or had his choice already been
made? Yes, life had decided that for him—life, and his own
infinite curiosity about life. Eternal youth, infinite passion,
pleasures subtle and secret, wild joys and wilder sins—he
was to have all these things. The portrait was to bear the burden
of his shame: that was all. |
|
[8.75] A feeling of pain crept over
him as he thought of the desecration that was in store for the
fair face on the canvas. Once, in boyish mockery of Narcissus, he
had kissed, or feigned to kiss, those painted lips that now
smiled so cruelly at him. Morning after morning he had sat before
the portrait wondering at its beauty, almost enamoured of it, as
it seemed to him at times. Was it to alter now with every mood to
which he yielded? Was it to become a monstrous and loathsome
thing, to be hidden away in a locked room, to be shut out from
the sunlight that had so often touched to brighter gold the
waving wonder of its hair? The pity of it! the pity of it! |
|
[8.76] For a moment, he thought of
praying that the horrible sympathy that existed between him and
the picture might cease. It had changed in answer to a prayer;
perhaps in answer to a prayer it might remain unchanged. And yet,
who, that knew anything about life, would surrender the chance of
remaining always young, however fantastic that chance might be,
or with what fateful consequences it might be fraught? Besides,
was it really under his control? Had it indeed been prayer that
had produced the substitution? Might there not be some curious
scientific reason for it all? If thought could exercise its
influence upon a living organism, might not thought exercise an
influence upon dead and inorganic things? Nay, without thought or
conscious desire, might not things external to ourselves vibrate
in unison with our moods and passions, atom calling to atom in
secret love or strange affinity? But the reason was of no
importance. He would never again tempt by a prayer any terrible
power. If the picture was to alter, it was to alter. That was
all. Why inquire too closely into it? |
|
[8.77] For there would be a real
pleasure in watching it. He would be able to follow his mind into
its secret places. This portrait would be to him the most magical
of mirrors. As it had revealed to him his own body, so it would
reveal to him his own soul. And when winter came upon it, he
would still be standing where spring trembles on the verge of
summer. When the blood crept from its face, and left behind a
pallid mask of chalk with leaden eyes, he would keep the glamour
of boyhood. Not one blossom of his loveliness would ever fade.
Not one pulse of his life would ever weaken. Like the gods of the
Greeks, he would be strong, and fleet, and joyous. What did it
matter what happened to the coloured image on the canvas? He
would be safe. That was everything. |
|
[8.78] He drew the screen back into
its former place in front of the picture, smiling as he did so,
and passed into his bedroom, where his valet was already waiting
for him. An hour later he was at the opera, and Lord Henry was
leaning over his chair. |
|
|
|
Chapter 9 |
|
[9.1] As he was sitting at breakfast
next morning, Basil Hallward was shown into the room. |
|
[9.2] “I am so glad I have
found you, Dorian,” he said gravely. “I called last
night, and they told me you were at the opera. Of course, I knew
that was impossible. But I wish you had left word where you had
really gone to. I passed a dreadful evening, half afraid that one
tragedy might be followed by another. I think you might have
telegraphed for me when you heard of it first. I read of it quite
by chance in a late edition of The Globe that I
picked up at the club. I came here at once and was miserable at
not finding you. I can’t tell you how heart-broken I am about the
whole thing. I know what you must suffer. But where were you? Did
you go down and see the girl’s mother? For a moment I thought of
following you there. They gave the address in the paper.
Somewhere in the Euston Road, isn’t it? But I was afraid of
intruding upon a sorrow that I could not lighten. Poor woman!
What a state she must be in! And her only child, too! What did
she say about it all?” |
|
[9.3] “My dear Basil, how do I
know?” murmured Dorian Gray, sipping some pale-yellow wine
from a delicate, gold-beaded bubble of Venetian glass and looking
dreadfully bored. “I was at the opera. You should have come
on there. I met Lady Gwendolen, Harry’s sister, for the first
time. We were in her box. She is perfectly charming; and Patti
sang divinely. Don’t talk about horrid subjects. If one doesn’t
talk about a thing, it has never happened. It is simply
expression, as Harry says, that gives reality to things. I may
mention that she was not the woman’s only child. There is a son,
a charming fellow, I believe. But he is not on the stage. He is a
sailor, or something. And now, tell me about yourself and what
you are painting.” |
|
[9.4] “You went to the
opera?” said Hallward, speaking very slowly and with a
strained touch of pain in his voice. “You went to the opera
while Sibyl Vane was lying dead in some sordid lodging? You can
talk to me of other women being charming, and of Patti singing
divinely, before the girl you loved has even the quiet of a grave
to sleep in? Why, man, there are horrors in store for that little
white body of hers!” |
|
[9.5] “Stop, Basil! I won’t
hear it!” cried Dorian, leaping to his feet. “You
must not tell me about things. What is done is done. What is past
is past.” |
|
[9.6] “You call yesterday the
past?” |
|
[9.7] “What has the actual
lapse of time got to do with it? It is only shallow people who
require years to get rid of an emotion. A man who is master of
himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I
don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them,
to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” |
|
[9.8] “Dorian, this is
horrible! Something has changed you completely. You look exactly
the same wonderful boy who, day after day, used to come down to
my studio to sit for his picture. But you were simple, natural,
and affectionate then. You were the most unspoiled creature in
the whole world. Now, I don’t know what has come over you. You
talk as if you had no heart, no pity in you. It is all Harry’s
influence. I see that.” |
|
[9.9] The lad flushed up and, going
to the window, looked out for a few moments on the green,
flickering, sun-lashed garden. “I owe a great deal to
Harry, Basil,” he said at last, “more than I owe to
you. You only taught me to be vain.” |
|
[9.10] “Well, I am punished for
that, Dorian—or shall be some day.” |
|
[9.11] “I don’t know what you
mean, Basil,” he exclaimed, turning round. “I don’t
know what you want. What do you want?” |
|
[9.12] “I want the Dorian Gray
I used to paint,” said the artist sadly. |
|
[9.13] “Basil,” said the
lad, going over to him and putting his hand on his shoulder,
“you have come too late. Yesterday, when I heard that Sibyl
Vane had killed herself——” |
|
[9.14] “Killed herself! Good
heavens! is there no doubt about that?” cried Hallward,
looking up at him with an expression of horror. |
|
[9.15] “My dear Basil! Surely
you don’t think it was a vulgar accident? Of course she killed
herself.” |
|
[9.16] The elder man buried his face
in his hands. “How fearful,” he muttered, and a
shudder ran through him. |
|
[9.17] “No,” said Dorian
Gray, “there is nothing fearful about it. It is one of the
great romantic tragedies of the age. As a rule, people who act
lead the most commonplace lives. They are good husbands, or
faithful wives, or something tedious. You know what I
mean—middle-class virtue and all that kind of thing. How
different Sibyl was! She lived her finest tragedy. She was always
a heroine. The last night she played—the night you saw
her—she acted badly because she had known the reality of
love. When she knew its unreality, she died, as Juliet might have
died. She passed again into the sphere of art. There is something
of the martyr about her. Her death has all the pathetic
uselessness of martyrdom, all its wasted beauty. But, as I was
saying, you must not think I have not suffered. If you had come
in yesterday at a particular moment—about half-past five,
perhaps, or a quarter to six—you would have found me in
tears. Even Harry, who was here, who brought me the news, in
fact, had no idea what I was going through. I suffered immensely.
Then it passed away. I cannot repeat an emotion. No one can,
except sentimentalists. And you are awfully unjust, Basil. You
come down here to console me. That is charming of you. You find
me consoled, and you are furious. How like a sympathetic person!
You remind me of a story Harry told me about a certain
philanthropist who spent twenty years of his life in trying to
get some grievance redressed, or some unjust law altered—I
forget exactly what it was. Finally he succeeded, and nothing
could exceed his disappointment. He had absolutely nothing to do,
almost died of ennui, and became a confirmed misanthrope. And
besides, my dear old Basil, if you really want to console me,
teach me rather to forget what has happened, or to see it from a
proper artistic point of view. Was it not Gautier who used to
write about la consolation des arts? I remember picking
up a little vellum-covered book in your studio one day and
chancing on that delightful phrase. Well, I am not like that
young man you told me of when we were down at Marlow together,
the young man who used to say that yellow satin could console one
for all the miseries of life. I love beautiful things that one
can touch and handle. Old brocades, green bronzes, lacquer-work,
carved ivories, exquisite surroundings, luxury, pomp—there
is much to be got from all these. But the artistic temperament
that they create, or at any rate reveal, is still more to me. To
become the spectator of one’s own life, as Harry says, is to
escape the suffering of life. I know you are surprised at my
talking to you like this. You have not realized how I have
developed. I was a schoolboy when you knew me. I am a man now. I
have new passions, new thoughts, new ideas. I am different, but
you must not like me less. I am changed, but you must always be
my friend. Of course, I am very fond of Harry. But I know that
you are better than he is. You are not stronger—you are too
much afraid of life—but you are better. And how happy we
used to be together! Don’t leave me, Basil, and don’t quarrel
with me. I am what I am. There is nothing more to be
said.” |
|
[9.18] The painter felt strangely
moved. The lad was infinitely dear to him, and his personality
had been the great turning point in his art. He could not bear
the idea of reproaching him any more. After all, his indifference
was probably merely a mood that would pass away. There was so
much in him that was good, so much in him that was noble. |
|
[9.19] “Well, Dorian,” he
said at length, with a sad smile, “I won’t speak to you
again about this horrible thing, after to-day. I only trust your
name won’t be mentioned in connection with it. The inquest is to
take place this afternoon. Have they summoned you?” |
|
[9.20] Dorian shook his head, and a
look of annoyance passed over his face at the mention of the word
“inquest.” There was something so crude and vulgar
about everything of the kind. “They don’t know my
name,” he answered. |
|
[9.21] “But surely she
did?” |
|
[9.22] “Only my Christian name,
and that I am quite sure she never mentioned to any one. She told
me once that they were all rather curious to learn who I was, and
that she invariably told them my name was Prince Charming. It was
pretty of her. You must do me a drawing of Sibyl, Basil. I should
like to have something more of her than the memory of a few
kisses and some broken pathetic words.” |
|
[9.23] “I will try and do
something, Dorian, if it would please you. But you must come and
sit to me yourself again. I can’t get on without you.” |
|
[9.24] “I can never sit to you
again, Basil. It is impossible!” he exclaimed, starting
back. |
|
[9.25] The painter stared at him.
“My dear boy, what nonsense!” he cried. “Do you
mean to say you don’t like what I did of you? Where is it? Why
have you pulled the screen in front of it? Let me look at it. It
is the best thing I have ever done. Do take the screen away,
Dorian. It is simply disgraceful of your servant hiding my work
like that. I felt the room looked different as I came
in.” |
|
[9.26] “My servant has nothing
to do with it, Basil. You don’t imagine I let him arrange my room
for me? He settles my flowers for me sometimes—that is all.
No; I did it myself. The light was too strong on the
portrait.” |
|
[9.27] “Too strong! Surely not,
my dear fellow? It is an admirable place for it. Let me see
it.” And Hallward walked towards the corner of the
room. |
|
[9.28] A cry of terror broke from
Dorian Gray’s lips, and he rushed between the painter and the
screen. “Basil,” he said, looking very pale,
“you must not look at it. I don’t wish you to.” |
|
[9.29] “Not look at my own
work! You are not serious. Why shouldn’t I look at it?”
exclaimed Hallward, laughing. |
|
[9.30] “If you try to look at
it, Basil, on my word of honour I will never speak to you again
as long as I live. I am quite serious. I don’t offer any
explanation, and you are not to ask for any. But, remember, if
you touch this screen, everything is over between us.” |
|
[9.31] Hallward was thunderstruck. He
looked at Dorian Gray in absolute amazement. He had never seen
him like this before. The lad was actually pallid with rage. His
hands were clenched, and the pupils of his eyes were like disks
of blue fire. He was trembling all over. |
|
[9.32] “Dorian!” |
|
[9.33] “Don’t speak!” |
|
[9.34] “But what is the matter?
Of course I won’t look at it if you don’t want me to,” he
said, rather coldly, turning on his heel and going over towards
the window. “But, really, it seems rather absurd that I
shouldn’t see my own work, especially as I am going to exhibit it
in Paris in the autumn. I shall probably have to give it another
coat of varnish before that, so I must see it some day, and why
not to-day?” |
|
[9.35] “To exhibit it! You want
to exhibit it?” exclaimed Dorian Gray, a strange sense of
terror creeping over him. Was the world going to be shown his
secret? Were people to gape at the mystery of his life? That was
impossible. Something—he did not know what—had to be
done at once. |
|
[9.36] “Yes; I don’t suppose
you will object to that. Georges Petit is going to collect all my
best pictures for a special exhibition in the Rue de Sèze,
which will open the first week in October. The portrait will only
be away a month. I should think you could easily spare it for
that time. In fact, you are sure to be out of town. And if you
keep it always behind a screen, you can’t care much about
it.” |
|
[9.37] Dorian Gray passed his hand
over his forehead. There were beads of perspiration there. He
felt that he was on the brink of a horrible danger. “You
told me a month ago that you would never exhibit it,” he
cried. “Why have you changed your mind? You people who go
in for being consistent have just as many moods as others have.
The only difference is that your moods are rather meaningless.
You can’t have forgotten that you assured me most solemnly that
nothing in the world would induce you to send it to any
exhibition. You told Harry exactly the same thing.” He
stopped suddenly, and a gleam of light came into his eyes. He
remembered that Lord Henry had said to him once, half seriously
and half in jest, “If you want to have a strange quarter of
an hour, get Basil to tell you why he won’t exhibit your picture.
He told me why he wouldn’t, and it was a revelation to me.”
Yes, perhaps Basil, too, had his secret. He would ask him and
try. |
|
[9.38] “Basil,” he said,
coming over quite close and looking him straight in the face,
“we have each of us a secret. Let me know yours, and I
shall tell you mine. What was your reason for refusing to exhibit
my picture?” |
|
[9.39] The painter shuddered in spite
of himself. “Dorian, if I told you, you might like me less
than you do, and you would certainly laugh at me. I could not
bear your doing either of those two things. If you wish me never
to look at your picture again, I am content. I have always you to
look at. If you wish the best work I have ever done to be hidden
from the world, I am satisfied. Your friendship is dearer to me
than any fame or reputation.” |
|
[9.40] “No, Basil, you must
tell me,” insisted Dorian Gray. “I think I have a
right to know.” His feeling of terror had passed away, and
curiosity had taken its place. He was determined to find out
Basil Hallward’s mystery. |
|
[9.41] “Let us sit down,
Dorian,” said the painter, looking troubled. “Let us
sit down. And just answer me one question. Have you noticed in
the picture something curious?—something that probably at
first did not strike you, but that revealed itself to you
suddenly?” |
|
[9.42] “Basil!” cried the
lad, clutching the arms of his chair with trembling hands and
gazing at him with wild startled eyes. |
|
[9.43] “I see you did. Don’t
speak. Wait till you hear what I have to say. Dorian, from the
moment I met you, your personality had the most extraordinary
influence over me. I was dominated, soul, brain, and power, by
you. You became to me the visible incarnation of that unseen
ideal whose memory haunts us artists like an exquisite dream. I
worshipped you. I grew jealous of every one to whom you spoke. I
wanted to have you all to myself. I was only happy when I was
with you. When you were away from me, you were still present in
my art. . . . Of course, I never let you know
anything about this. It would have been impossible. You would not
have understood it. I hardly understood it myself. I only knew
that I had seen perfection face to face, and that the world had
become wonderful to my eyes—too wonderful, perhaps, for in
such mad worships there is peril, the peril of losing them, no
less than the peril of keeping them. . . . Weeks
and weeks went on, and I grew more and more absorbed in you. Then
came a new development. I had drawn you as Paris in dainty
armour, and as Adonis with huntsman’s cloak and polished
boar-spear. Crowned with heavy lotus-blossoms you had sat on the
prow of Adrian’s barge, gazing across the green turbid Nile. You
had leaned over the still pool of some Greek woodland and seen in
the water’s silent silver the marvel of your own face. And it had
all been what art should be—unconscious, ideal, and remote.
One day, a fatal day I sometimes think, I determined to paint a
wonderful portrait of you as you actually are, not in the costume
of dead ages, but in your own dress and in your own time. Whether
it was the realism of the method, or the mere wonder of your own
personality, thus directly presented to me without mist or veil,
I cannot tell. But I know that as I worked at it, every flake and
film of colour seemed to me to reveal my secret. I grew afraid
that others would know of my idolatry. I felt, Dorian, that I had
told too much, that I had put too much of myself into it. Then it
was that I resolved never to allow the picture to be exhibited.
You were a little annoyed; but then you did not realize all that
it meant to me. Harry, to whom I talked about it, laughed at me.
But I did not mind that. When the picture was finished, and I sat
alone with it, I felt that I was right. . . .
Well, after a few days the thing left my studio, and as soon as I
had got rid of the intolerable fascination of its presence, it
seemed to me that I had been foolish in imagining that I had seen
anything in it, more than that you were extremely good-looking
and that I could paint. Even now I cannot help feeling that it is
a mistake to think that the passion one feels in creation is ever
really shown in the work one creates. Art is always more abstract
than we fancy. Form and colour tell us of form and
colour—that is all. It often seems to me that art conceals
the artist far more completely than it ever reveals him. And so
when I got this offer from Paris, I determined to make your
portrait the principal thing in my exhibition. It never occurred
to me that you would refuse. I see now that you were right. The
picture cannot be shown. You must not be angry with me, Dorian,
for what I have told you. As I said to Harry, once, you are made
to be worshipped.” |
|
[9.44] Dorian Gray drew a long
breath. The colour came back to his cheeks, and a smile played
about his lips. The peril was over. He was safe for the time. Yet
he could not help feeling infinite pity for the painter who had
just made this strange confession to him, and wondered if he
himself would ever be so dominated by the personality of a
friend. Lord Henry had the charm of being very dangerous. But
that was all. He was too clever and too cynical to be really fond
of. Would there ever be some one who would fill him with a
strange idolatry? Was that one of the things that life had in
store? |
|
[9.45] “It is extraordinary to
me, Dorian,” said Hallward, “that you should have
seen this in the portrait. Did you really see it?” |
|
[9.46] “I saw something in
it,” he answered, “something that seemed to me very
curious.” |
|
[9.47] “Well, you don’t mind my
looking at the thing now?” |
|
[9.48] Dorian shook his head.
“You must not ask me that, Basil. I could not possibly let
you stand in front of that picture.” |
|
[9.49] “You will some day,
surely?” |
|
[9.50] “Never.” |
|
[9.51] “Well, perhaps you are
right. And now good-bye, Dorian. You have been the one person in
my life who has really influenced my art. Whatever I have done
that is good, I owe to you. Ah! you don’t know what it cost me to
tell you all that I have told you.” |
|
[9.52] “My dear Basil,”
said Dorian, “what have you told me? Simply that you felt
that you admired me too much. That is not even a
compliment.” |
|
[9.53] “It was not intended as
a compliment. It was a confession. Now that I have made it,
something seems to have gone out of me. Perhaps one should never
put one’s worship into words.” |
|
[9.54] “It was a very
disappointing confession.” |
|
[9.55] “Why, what did you
expect, Dorian? You didn’t see anything else in the picture, did
you? There was nothing else to see?” |
|
[9.56] “No; there was nothing
else to see. Why do you ask? But you mustn’t talk about worship.
It is foolish. You and I are friends, Basil, and we must always
remain so.” |
|
[9.57] “You have got
Harry,” said the painter sadly. |
|
[9.58] “Oh, Harry!” cried
the lad, with a ripple of laughter. “Harry spends his days
in saying what is incredible and his evenings in doing what is
improbable. Just the sort of life I would like to lead. But still
I don’t think I would go to Harry if I were in trouble. I would
sooner go to you, Basil.” |
|
[9.59] “You will sit to me
again?” |
|
[9.60] “Impossible!” |
|
[9.61] “You spoil my life as an
artist by refusing, Dorian. No man comes across two ideal things.
Few come across one.” |
|
[9.62] “I can’t explain it to
you, Basil, but I must never sit to you again. There is something
fatal about a portrait. It has a life of its own. I will come and
have tea with you. That will be just as pleasant.” |
|
[9.63] “Pleasanter for you, I
am afraid,” murmured Hallward regretfully. “And now
good-bye. I am sorry you won’t let me look at the picture once
again. But that can’t be helped. I quite understand what you feel
about it.” |
|
[9.64] As he left the room, Dorian
Gray smiled to himself. Poor Basil! How little he knew of the
true reason! And how strange it was that, instead of having been
forced to reveal his own secret, he had succeeded, almost by
chance, in wresting a secret from his friend! How much that
strange confession explained to him! The painter’s absurd fits of
jealousy, his wild devotion, his extravagant panegyrics, his
curious reticences—he understood them all now, and he felt
sorry. There seemed to him to be something tragic in a friendship
so coloured by romance. |
|
[9.65] He sighed and touched the
bell. The portrait must be hidden away at all costs. He could not
run such a risk of discovery again. It had been mad of him to
have allowed the thing to remain, even for an hour, in a room to
which any of his friends had access. |
|
|
|
Chapter 10 |
|
[10.1] When his servant entered, he
looked at him steadfastly and wondered if he had thought of
peering behind the screen. The man was quite impassive and waited
for his orders. Dorian lit a cigarette and walked over to the
glass and glanced into it. He could see the reflection of
Victor’s face perfectly. It was like a placid mask of servility.
There was nothing to be afraid of, there. Yet he thought it best
to be on his guard. |
|
[10.2] Speaking very slowly, he told
him to tell the house-keeper that he wanted to see her, and then
to go to the frame-maker and ask him to send two of his men round
at once. It seemed to him that as the man left the room his eyes
wandered in the direction of the screen. Or was that merely his
own fancy? |
|
[10.3] After a few moments, in her
black silk dress, with old-fashioned thread mittens on her
wrinkled hands, Mrs. Leaf bustled into the library. He asked her
for the key of the schoolroom. |
|
[10.4] “The old schoolroom, Mr.
Dorian?” she exclaimed. “Why, it is full of dust. I
must get it arranged and put straight before you go into it. It
is not fit for you to see, sir. It is not, indeed.” |
|
[10.5] “I don’t want it put
straight, Leaf. I only want the key.” |
|
[10.6] “Well, sir, you’ll be
covered with cobwebs if you go into it. Why, it hasn’t been
opened for nearly five years—not since his lordship
died.” |
|
[10.7] He winced at the mention of
his grandfather. He had hateful memories of him. “That does
not matter,” he answered. “I simply want to see the
place—that is all. Give me the key.” |
|
[10.8] “And here is the key,
sir,” said the old lady, going over the contents of her
bunch with tremulously uncertain hands. “Here is the key.
I’ll have it off the bunch in a moment. But you don’t think of
living up there, sir, and you so comfortable here?” |
|
[10.9] “No, no,” he cried
petulantly. “Thank you, Leaf. That will do.” |
|
[10.10] She lingered for a few
moments, and was garrulous over some detail of the household. He
sighed and told her to manage things as she thought best. She
left the room, wreathed in smiles. |
|
[10.11] As the door closed, Dorian
put the key in his pocket and looked round the room. His eye fell
on a large, purple satin coverlet heavily embroidered with gold,
a splendid piece of late seventeenth-century Venetian work that
his grandfather had found in a convent near Bologna. Yes, that
would serve to wrap the dreadful thing in. It had perhaps served
often as a pall for the dead. Now it was to hide something that
had a corruption of its own, worse than the corruption of death
itself—something that would breed horrors and yet would
never die. What the worm was to the corpse, his sins would be to
the painted image on the canvas. They would mar its beauty and
eat away its grace. They would defile it and make it shameful.
And yet the thing would still live on. It would be always
alive. |
|
[10.12] He shuddered, and for a
moment he regretted that he had not told Basil the true reason
why he had wished to hide the picture away. Basil would have
helped him to resist Lord Henry’s influence, and the still more
poisonous influences that came from his own temperament. The love
that he bore him—for it was really love—had nothing
in it that was not noble and intellectual. It was not that mere
physical admiration of beauty that is born of the senses and that
dies when the senses tire. It was such love as Michelangelo had
known, and Montaigne, and Winckelmann, and Shakespeare himself.
Yes, Basil could have saved him. But it was too late now. The
past could always be annihilated. Regret, denial, or
forgetfulness could do that. But the future was inevitable. There
were passions in him that would find their terrible outlet,
dreams that would make the shadow of their evil real. |
|
[10.13] He took up from the couch the
great purple-and-gold texture that covered it, and, holding it in
his hands, passed behind the screen. Was the face on the canvas
viler than before? It seemed to him that it was unchanged, and
yet his loathing of it was intensified. Gold hair, blue eyes, and
rose-red lips—they all were there. It was simply the
expression that had altered. That was horrible in its cruelty.
Compared to what he saw in it of censure or rebuke, how shallow
Basil’s reproaches about Sibyl Vane had been!—how shallow,
and of what little account! His own soul was looking out at him
from the canvas and calling him to judgement. A look of pain came
across him, and he flung the rich pall over the picture. As he
did so, a knock came to the door. He passed out as his servant
entered. |
|
[10.14] “The persons are here,
Monsieur.” |
|
[10.15] He felt that the man must be
got rid of at once. He must not be allowed to know where the
picture was being taken to. There was something sly about him,
and he had thoughtful, treacherous eyes. Sitting down at the
writing-table he scribbled a note to Lord Henry, asking him to
send him round something to read and reminding him that they were
to meet at eight-fifteen that evening. |
|
[10.16] “Wait for an
answer,” he said, handing it to him, “and show the
men in here.” |
|
[10.17] In two or three minutes there
was another knock, and Mr. Hubbard himself, the celebrated
frame-maker of South Audley Street, came in with a somewhat
rough-looking young assistant. Mr. Hubbard was a florid,
red-whiskered little man, whose admiration for art was
considerably tempered by the inveterate impecuniosity of most of
the artists who dealt with him. As a rule, he never left his
shop. He waited for people to come to him. But he always made an
exception in favour of Dorian Gray. There was something about
Dorian that charmed everybody. It was a pleasure even to see
him. |
|
[10.18] “What can I do for you,
Mr. Gray?” he said, rubbing his fat freckled hands.
“I thought I would do myself the honour of coming round in
person. I have just got a beauty of a frame, sir. Picked it up at
a sale. Old Florentine. Came from Fonthill, I believe. Admirably
suited for a religious subject, Mr. Gray.” |
|
[10.19] “I am so sorry you have
given yourself the trouble of coming round, Mr. Hubbard. I shall
certainly drop in and look at the frame—though I don’t go
in much at present for religious art—but to-day I only want
a picture carried to the top of the house for me. It is rather
heavy, so I thought I would ask you to lend me a couple of your
men.” |
|
[10.20] “No trouble at all, Mr.
Gray. I am delighted to be of any service to you. Which is the
work of art, sir?” |
|
[10.21] “This,” replied
Dorian, moving the screen back. “Can you move it, covering
and all, just as it is? I don’t want it to get scratched going
upstairs.” |
|
[10.22] “There will be no
difficulty, sir,” said the genial frame-maker, beginning,
with the aid of his assistant, to unhook the picture from the
long brass chains by which it was suspended. “And, now,
where shall we carry it to, Mr. Gray?” |
|
[10.23] “I will show you the
way, Mr. Hubbard, if you will kindly follow me. Or perhaps you
had better go in front. I am afraid it is right at the top of the
house. We will go up by the front staircase, as it is
wider.” |
|
[10.24] He held the door open for
them, and they passed out into the hall and began the ascent. The
elaborate character of the frame had made the picture extremely
bulky, and now and then, in spite of the obsequious protests of
Mr. Hubbard, who had the true tradesman’s spirited dislike of
seeing a gentleman doing anything useful, Dorian put his hand to
it so as to help them. |
|
[10.25] “Something of a load to
carry, sir,” gasped the little man when they reached the
top landing. And he wiped his shiny forehead. |
|
[10.26] “I am afraid it is
rather heavy,” murmured Dorian as he unlocked the door that
opened into the room that was to keep for him the curious secret
of his life and hide his soul from the eyes of men. |
|
[10.27] He had not entered the place
for more than four years—not, indeed, since he had used it
first as a play-room when he was a child, and then as a study
when he grew somewhat older. It was a large, well-proportioned
room, which had been specially built by the last Lord Kelso for
the use of the little grandson whom, for his strange likeness to
his mother, and also for other reasons, he had always hated and
desired to keep at a distance. It appeared to Dorian to have but
little changed. There was the huge Italian cassone, with
its fantastically painted panels and its tarnished gilt
mouldings, in which he had so often hidden himself as a boy.
There the satinwood book-case filled with his dog-eared
schoolbooks. On the wall behind it was hanging the same ragged
Flemish tapestry where a faded king and queen were playing chess
in a garden, while a company of hawkers rode by, carrying hooded
birds on their gauntleted wrists. How well he remembered it all!
Every moment of his lonely childhood came back to him as he
looked round. He recalled the stainless purity of his boyish
life, and it seemed horrible to him that it was here the fatal
portrait was to be hidden away. How little he had thought, in
those dead days, of all that was in store for him! |
|
[10.28] But there was no other place
in the house so secure from prying eyes as this. He had the key,
and no one else could enter it. Beneath its purple pall, the face
painted on the canvas could grow bestial, sodden, and unclean.
What did it matter? No one could see it. He himself would not see
it. Why should he watch the hideous corruption of his soul? He
kept his youth—that was enough. And, besides, might not his
nature grow finer, after all? There was no reason that the future
should be so full of shame. Some love might come across his life,
and purify him, and shield him from those sins that seemed to be
already stirring in spirit and in flesh—those curious
unpictured sins whose very mystery lent them their subtlety and
their charm. Perhaps, some day, the cruel look would have passed
away from the scarlet sensitive mouth, and he might show to the
world Basil Hallward’s masterpiece. |
|
[10.29] No; that was impossible. Hour
by hour, and week by week, the thing upon the canvas was growing
old. It might escape the hideousness of sin, but the hideousness
of age was in store for it. The cheeks would become hollow or
flaccid. Yellow crow’s feet would creep round the fading eyes and
make them horrible. The hair would lose its brightness, the mouth
would gape or droop, would be foolish or gross, as the mouths of
old men are. There would be the wrinkled throat, the cold,
blue-veined hands, the twisted body, that he remembered in the
grandfather who had been so stern to him in his boyhood. The
picture had to be concealed. There was no help for it. |
|
[10.30] “Bring it in, Mr.
Hubbard, please,” he said, wearily, turning round. “I
am sorry I kept you so long. I was thinking of something
else.” |
|
[10.31] “Always glad to have a
rest, Mr. Gray,” answered the frame-maker, who was still
gasping for breath. “Where shall we put it, sir?” |
|
[10.32] “Oh, anywhere. Here:
this will do. I don’t want to have it hung up. Just lean it
against the wall. Thanks.” |
|
[10.33] “Might one look at the
work of art, sir?” |
|
[10.34] Dorian started. “It
would not interest you, Mr. Hubbard,” he said, keeping his
eye on the man. He felt ready to leap upon him and fling him to
the ground if he dared to lift the gorgeous hanging that
concealed the secret of his life. “I shan’t trouble you any
more now. I am much obliged for your kindness in coming
round.” |
|
[10.35] “Not at all, not at
all, Mr. Gray. Ever ready to do anything for you, sir.” And
Mr. Hubbard tramped downstairs, followed by the assistant, who
glanced back at Dorian with a look of shy wonder in his rough
uncomely face. He had never seen any one so marvellous. |
|
[10.36] When the sound of their
footsteps had died away, Dorian locked the door and put the key
in his pocket. He felt safe now. No one would ever look upon the
horrible thing. No eye but his would ever see his shame. |
|
[10.37] On reaching the library, he
found that it was just after five o’clock and that the tea had
been already brought up. On a little table of dark perfumed wood
thickly incrusted with nacre, a present from Lady Radley, his
guardian’s wife, a pretty professional invalid who had spent the
preceding winter in Cairo, was lying a note from Lord Henry, and
beside it was a book bound in yellow paper, the cover slightly
torn and the edges soiled. A copy of the third edition of
The St. James’s Gazette had been placed on the
tea-tray. It was evident that Victor had returned. He wondered if
he had met the men in the hall as they were leaving the house and
had wormed out of them what they had been doing. He would be sure
to miss the picture—had no doubt missed it already, while
he had been laying the tea-things. The screen had not been set
back, and a blank space was visible on the wall. Perhaps some
night he might find him creeping upstairs and trying to force the
door of the room. It was a horrible thing to have a spy in one’s
house. He had heard of rich men who had been blackmailed all
their lives by some servant who had read a letter, or overheard a
conversation, or picked up a card with an address, or found
beneath a pillow a withered flower or a shred of crumpled
lace. |
|
[10.38] He sighed, and having poured
himself out some tea, opened Lord Henry’s note. It was simply to
say that he sent him round the evening paper, and a book that
might interest him, and that he would be at the club at
eight-fifteen. He opened The St. James’s languidly,
and looked through it. A red pencil-mark on the fifth page caught
his eye. It drew attention to the following paragraph: |
|
|
[10.39] He frowned, and tearing the
paper in two, went across the room and flung the pieces away. How
ugly it all was! And how horribly real ugliness made things! He
felt a little annoyed with Lord Henry for having sent him the
report. And it was certainly stupid of him to have marked it with
red pencil. Victor might have read it. The man knew more than
enough English for that. |
|
[10.40] Perhaps he had read it and
had begun to suspect something. And, yet, what did it matter?
What had Dorian Gray to do with Sibyl Vane’s death? There was
nothing to fear. Dorian Gray had not killed her. |
|
[10.41] His eye fell on the yellow
book that Lord Henry had sent him. What was it, he wondered. He
went towards the little, pearl-coloured octagonal stand that had
always looked to him like the work of some strange Egyptian bees
that wrought in silver, and taking up the volume, flung himself
into an arm-chair and began to turn over the leaves. After a few
minutes he became absorbed. It was the strangest book that he had
ever read. It seemed to him that in exquisite raiment, and to the
delicate sound of flutes, the sins of the world were passing in
dumb show before him. Things that he had dimly dreamed of were
suddenly made real to him. Things of which he had never dreamed
were gradually revealed. |
|
[10.42] It was a novel without a plot
and with only one character, being, indeed, simply a
psychological study of a certain young Parisian who spent his
life trying to realize in the nineteenth century all the passions
and modes of thought that belonged to every century except his
own, and to sum up, as it were, in himself the various moods
through which the world-spirit had ever passed, loving for their
mere artificiality those renunciations that men have unwisely
called virtue, as much as those natural rebellions that wise men
still call sin. The style in which it was written was that
curious jewelled style, vivid and obscure at once, full of
argot and of archaisms, of technical expressions and of
elaborate paraphrases, that characterizes the work of some of the
finest artists of the French school of Symbolistes.
There were in it metaphors as monstrous as orchids and as subtle
in colour. The life of the senses was described in the terms of
mystical philosophy. One hardly knew at times whether one was
reading the spiritual ecstasies of some mediaeval saint or the
morbid confessions of a modern sinner. It was a poisonous book.
The heavy odour of incense seemed to cling about its pages and to
trouble the brain. The mere cadence of the sentences, the subtle
monotony of their music, so full as it was of complex refrains
and movements elaborately repeated, produced in the mind of the
lad, as he passed from chapter to chapter, a form of reverie, a
malady of dreaming, that made him unconscious of the falling day
and creeping shadows. |
|
[10.43] Cloudless, and pierced by one
solitary star, a copper-green sky gleamed through the windows. He
read on by its wan light till he could read no more. Then, after
his valet had reminded him several times of the lateness of the
hour, he got up, and going into the next room, placed the book on
the little Florentine table that always stood at his bedside and
began to dress for dinner. |
|
[10.44] It was almost nine o’clock
before he reached the club, where he found Lord Henry sitting
alone, in the morning-room, looking very much bored. |
|
[10.45] “I am so sorry,
Harry,” he cried, “but really it is entirely your
fault. That book you sent me so fascinated me that I forgot how
the time was going.” |
|
[10.46] “Yes, I thought you
would like it,” replied his host, rising from his
chair. |
|
[10.47] “I didn’t say I liked
it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There is a great
difference.” |
|
[10.48] “Ah, you have
discovered that?” murmured Lord Henry. And they passed into
the dining-room. |
|
|
|
Chapter 11 |
|
[11.1] For years, Dorian Gray could
not free himself from the influence of this book. Or perhaps it
would be more accurate to say that he never sought to free
himself from it. He procured from Paris no less than nine
large-paper copies of the first edition, and had them bound in
different colours, so that they might suit his various moods and
the changing fancies of a nature over which he seemed, at times,
to have almost entirely lost control. The hero, the wonderful
young Parisian in whom the romantic and the scientific
temperaments were so strangely blended, became to him a kind of
prefiguring type of himself. And, indeed, the whole book seemed
to him to contain the story of his own life, written before he
had lived it. |
|
[11.2] In one point he was more
fortunate than the novel’s fantastic hero. He never
knew—never, indeed, had any cause to know—that
somewhat grotesque dread of mirrors, and polished metal surfaces,
and still water which came upon the young Parisian so early in
his life, and was occasioned by the sudden decay of a beau that
had once, apparently, been so remarkable. It was with an almost
cruel joy—and perhaps in nearly every joy, as certainly in
every pleasure, cruelty has its place—that he used to read
the latter part of the book, with its really tragic, if somewhat
overemphasized, account of the sorrow and despair of one who had
himself lost what in others, and the world, he had most dearly
valued. |
|
[11.3] For the wonderful beauty that
had so fascinated Basil Hallward, and many others besides him,
seemed never to leave him. Even those who had heard the most evil
things against him—and from time to time strange rumours
about his mode of life crept through London and became the
chatter of the clubs—could not believe anything to his
dishonour when they saw him. He had always the look of one who
had kept himself unspotted from the world. Men who talked grossly
became silent when Dorian Gray entered the room. There was
something in the purity of his face that rebuked them. His mere
presence seemed to recall to them the memory of the innocence
that they had tarnished. They wondered how one so charming and
graceful as he was could have escaped the stain of an age that
was at once sordid and sensual. |
|
[11.4] Often, on returning home from
one of those mysterious and prolonged absences that gave rise to
such strange conjecture among those who were his friends, or
thought that they were so, he himself would creep upstairs to the
locked room, open the door with the key that never left him now,
and stand, with a mirror, in front of the portrait that Basil
Hallward had painted of him, looking now at the evil and aging
face on the canvas, and now at the fair young face that laughed
back at him from the polished glass. The very sharpness of the
contrast used to quicken his sense of pleasure. He grew more and
more enamoured of his own beauty, more and more interested in the
corruption of his own soul. He would examine with minute care,
and sometimes with a monstrous and terrible delight, the hideous
lines that seared the wrinkling forehead or crawled around the
heavy sensual mouth, wondering sometimes which were the more
horrible, the signs of sin or the signs of age. He would place
his white hands beside the coarse bloated hands of the picture,
and smile. He mocked the misshapen body and the failing
limbs. |
|
[11.5] There were moments, indeed, at
night, when, lying sleepless in his own delicately scented
chamber, or in the sordid room of the little ill-famed tavern
near the docks which, under an assumed name and in disguise, it
was his habit to frequent, he would think of the ruin he had
brought upon his soul with a pity that was all the more poignant
because it was purely selfish. But moments such as these were
rare. That curiosity about life which Lord Henry had first
stirred in him, as they sat together in the garden of their
friend, seemed to increase with gratification. The more he knew,
the more he desired to know. He had mad hungers that grew more
ravenous as he fed them. |
|
[11.6] Yet he was not really
reckless, at any rate in his relations to society. Once or twice
every month during the winter, and on each Wednesday evening
while the season lasted, he would throw open to the world his
beautiful house and have the most celebrated musicians of the day
to charm his guests with the wonders of their art. His little
dinners, in the settling of which Lord Henry always assisted him,
were noted as much for the careful selection and placing of those
invited, as for the exquisite taste shown in the decoration of
the table, with its subtle symphonic arrangements of exotic
flowers, and embroidered cloths, and antique plate of gold and
silver. Indeed, there were many, especially among the very young
men, who saw, or fancied that they saw, in Dorian Gray the true
realization of a type of which they had often dreamed in Eton or
Oxford days, a type that was to combine something of the real
culture of the scholar with all the grace and distinction and
perfect manner of a citizen of the world. To them he seemed to be
of the company of those whom Dante describes as having sought to
“make themselves perfect by the worship of beauty.”
Like Gautier, he was one for whom “the visible world
existed.” |
|
[11.7] And, certainly, to him life
itself was the first, the greatest, of the arts, and for it all
the other arts seemed to be but a preparation. Fashion, by which
what is really fantastic becomes for a moment universal, and
dandyism, which, in its own way, is an attempt to assert the
absolute modernity of beauty, had, of course, their fascination
for him. His mode of dressing, and the particular styles that
from time to time he affected, had their marked influence on the
young exquisites of the Mayfair balls and Pall Mall club windows,
who copied him in everything that he did, and tried to reproduce
the accidental charm of his graceful, though to him only
half-serious, fopperies. |
|
[11.8] For, while he was but too
ready to accept the position that was almost immediately offered
to him on his coming of age, and found, indeed, a subtle pleasure
in the thought that he might really become to the London of his
own day what to imperial Neronian Rome the author of the
Satyricon once had been, yet in his inmost heart he desired to be
something more than a mere arbiter elegantiarum, to be
consulted on the wearing of a jewel, or the knotting of a
necktie, or the conduct of a cane. He sought to elaborate some
new scheme of life that would have its reasoned philosophy and
its ordered principles, and find in the spiritualizing of the
senses its highest realization. |
|
[11.9] The worship of the senses has
often, and with much justice, been decried, men feeling a natural
instinct of terror about passions and sensations that seem
stronger than themselves, and that they are conscious of sharing
with the less highly organized forms of existence. But it
appeared to Dorian Gray that the true nature of the senses had
never been understood, and that they had remained savage and
animal merely because the world had sought to starve them into
submission or to kill them by pain, instead of aiming at making
them elements of a new spirituality, of which a fine instinct for
beauty was to be the dominant characteristic. As he looked back
upon man moving through history, he was haunted by a feeling of
loss. So much had been surrendered! and to such little purpose!
There had been mad wilful rejections, monstrous forms of
self-torture and self-denial, whose origin was fear and whose
result was a degradation infinitely more terrible than that
fancied degradation from which, in their ignorance, they had
sought to escape; Nature, in her wonderful irony, driving out the
anchorite to feed with the wild animals of the desert and giving
to the hermit the beasts of the field as his companions. |
|
[11.10] Yes: there was to be, as Lord
Henry had prophesied, a new Hedonism that was to recreate life
and to save it from that harsh uncomely puritanism that is
having, in our own day, its curious revival. It was to have its
service of the intellect, certainly, yet it was never to accept
any theory or system that would involve the sacrifice of any mode
of passionate experience. Its aim, indeed, was to be experience
itself, and not the fruits of experience, sweet or bitter as they
might be. Of the asceticism that deadens the senses, as of the
vulgar profligacy that dulls them, it was to know nothing. But it
was to teach man to concentrate himself upon the moments of a
life that is itself but a moment. |
|
[11.11] There are few of us who have
not sometimes wakened before dawn, either after one of those
dreamless nights that make us almost enamoured of death, or one
of those nights of horror and misshapen joy, when through the
chambers of the brain sweep phantoms more terrible than reality
itself, and instinct with that vivid life that lurks in all
grotesques, and that lends to Gothic art its enduring vitality,
this art being, one might fancy, especially the art of those
whose minds have been troubled with the malady of reverie.
Gradually white fingers creep through the curtains, and they
appear to tremble. In black fantastic shapes, dumb shadows crawl
into the corners of the room and crouch there. Outside, there is
the stirring of birds among the leaves, or the sound of men going
forth to their work, or the sigh and sob of the wind coming down
from the hills and wandering round the silent house, as though it
feared to wake the sleepers and yet must needs call forth sleep
from her purple cave. Veil after veil of thin dusky gauze is
lifted, and by degrees the forms and colours of things are
restored to them, and we watch the dawn remaking the world in its
antique pattern. The wan mirrors get back their mimic life. The
flameless tapers stand where we had left them, and beside them
lies the half-cut book that we had been studying, or the wired
flower that we had worn at the ball, or the letter that we had
been afraid to read, or that we had read too often. Nothing seems
to us changed. Out of the unreal shadows of the night comes back
the real life that we had known. We have to resume it where we
had left off, and there steals over us a terrible sense of the
necessity for the continuance of energy in the same wearisome
round of stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it may be, that
our eyelids might open some morning upon a world that had been
refashioned anew in the darkness for our pleasure, a world in
which things would have fresh shapes and colours, and be changed,
or have other secrets, a world in which the past would have
little or no place, or survive, at any rate, in no conscious form
of obligation or regret, the remembrance even of joy having its
bitterness and the memories of pleasure their pain. |
|
[11.12] It was the creation of such
worlds as these that seemed to Dorian Gray to be the true object,
or amongst the true objects, of life; and in his search for
sensations that would be at once new and delightful, and possess
that element of strangeness that is so essential to romance, he
would often adopt certain modes of thought that he knew to be
really alien to his nature, abandon himself to their subtle
influences, and then, having, as it were, caught their colour and
satisfied his intellectual curiosity, leave them with that
curious indifference that is not incompatible with a real ardour
of temperament, and that, indeed, according to certain modern
psychologists, is often a condition of it. |
|
[11.13] It was rumoured of him once
that he was about to join the Roman Catholic communion, and
certainly the Roman ritual had always a great attraction for him.
The daily sacrifice, more awful really than all the sacrifices of
the antique world, stirred him as much by its superb rejection of
the evidence of the senses as by the primitive simplicity of its
elements and the eternal pathos of the human tragedy that it
sought to symbolize. He loved to kneel down on the cold marble
pavement and watch the priest, in his stiff flowered dalmatic,
slowly and with white hands moving aside the veil of the
tabernacle, or raising aloft the jewelled, lantern-shaped
monstrance with that pallid wafer that at times, one would fain
think, is indeed the “panis caelestis,” the
bread of angels, or, robed in the garments of the Passion of
Christ, breaking the Host into the chalice and smiting his breast
for his sins. The fuming censers that the grave boys, in their
lace and scarlet, tossed into the air like great gilt flowers had
their subtle fascination for him. As he passed out, he used to
look with wonder at the black confessionals and long to sit in
the dim shadow of one of them and listen to men and women
whispering through the worn grating the true story of their
lives. |
|
[11.14] But he never fell into the
error of arresting his intellectual development by any formal
acceptance of creed or system, or of mistaking, for a house in
which to live, an inn that is but suitable for the sojourn of a
night, or for a few hours of a night in which there are no stars
and the moon is in travail. Mysticism, with its marvellous power
of making common things strange to us, and the subtle
antinomianism that always seems to accompany it, moved him for a
season; and for a season he inclined to the materialistic
doctrines of the Darwinismus movement in Germany, and found a
curious pleasure in tracing the thoughts and passions of men to
some pearly cell in the brain, or some white nerve in the body,
delighting in the conception of the absolute dependence of the
spirit on certain physical conditions, morbid or healthy, normal
or diseased. Yet, as has been said of him before, no theory of
life seemed to him to be of any importance compared with life
itself. He felt keenly conscious of how barren all intellectual
speculation is when separated from action and experiment. He knew
that the senses, no less than the soul, have their spiritual
mysteries to reveal. |
|
[11.15] And so he would now study
perfumes and the secrets of their manufacture, distilling heavily
scented oils and burning odorous gums from the East. He saw that
there was no mood of the mind that had not its counterpart in the
sensuous life, and set himself to discover their true relations,
wondering what there was in frankincense that made one mystical,
and in ambergris that stirred one’s passions, and in violets that
woke the memory of dead romances, and in musk that troubled the
brain, and in champak that stained the imagination; and seeking
often to elaborate a real psychology of perfumes, and to estimate
the several influences of sweet-smelling roots and scented,
pollen-laden flowers; of aromatic balms and of dark and fragrant
woods; of spikenard, that sickens; of hovenia, that makes men
mad; and of aloes, that are said to be able to expel melancholy
from the soul. |
|
[11.16] At another time he devoted
himself entirely to music, and in a long latticed room, with a
vermilion-and-gold ceiling and walls of olive-green lacquer, he
used to give curious concerts in which mad gipsies tore wild
music from little zithers, or grave, yellow-shawled Tunisians
plucked at the strained strings of monstrous lutes, while
grinning Negroes beat monotonously upon copper drums and,
crouching upon scarlet mats, slim turbaned Indians blew through
long pipes of reed or brass and charmed—or feigned to
charm—great hooded snakes and horrible horned adders. The
harsh intervals and shrill discords of barbaric music stirred him
at times when Schubert’s grace, and Chopin’s beautiful sorrows,
and the mighty harmonies of Beethoven himself, fell unheeded on
his ear. He collected together from all parts of the world the
strangest instruments that could be found, either in the tombs of
dead nations or among the few savage tribes that have survived
contact with Western civilizations, and loved to touch and try
them. He had the mysterious juruparis of the Rio Negro
Indians, that women are not allowed to look at and that even
youths may not see till they have been subjected to fasting and
scourging, and the earthen jars of the Peruvians that have the
shrill cries of birds, and flutes of human bones such as Alfonso
de Ovalle heard in Chile, and the sonorous green jaspers that are
found near Cuzco and give forth a note of singular sweetness. He
had painted gourds filled with pebbles that rattled when they
were shaken; the long clarin of the Mexicans, into which
the performer does not blow, but through which he inhales the
air; the harsh ture of the Amazon tribes, that is
sounded by the sentinels who sit all day long in high trees, and
can be heard, it is said, at a distance of three leagues; the
teponaztli, that has two vibrating tongues of wood and
is beaten with sticks that are smeared with an elastic gum
obtained from the milky juice of plants; the yotl-bells
of the Aztecs, that are hung in clusters like grapes; and a huge
cylindrical drum, covered with the skins of great serpents, like
the one that Bernal Diaz saw when he went with Cortes into the
Mexican temple, and of whose doleful sound he has left us so
vivid a description. The fantastic character of these instruments
fascinated him, and he felt a curious delight in the thought that
art, like Nature, has her monsters, things of bestial shape and
with hideous voices. Yet, after some time, he wearied of them,
and would sit in his box at the opera, either alone or with Lord
Henry, listening in rapt pleasure to
“Tannhäuser” and seeing in the prelude to that
great work of art a presentation of the tragedy of his own
soul. |
|
[11.17] On one occasion he took up
the study of jewels, and appeared at a costume ball as Anne de
Joyeuse, Admiral of France, in a dress covered with five hundred
and sixty pearls. This taste enthralled him for years, and,
indeed, may be said never to have left him. He would often spend
a whole day settling and resettling in their cases the various
stones that he had collected, such as the olive-green chrysoberyl
that turns red by lamplight, the cymophane with its wirelike line
of silver, the pistachio-coloured peridot, rose-pink and
wine-yellow topazes, carbuncles of fiery scarlet with tremulous,
four-rayed stars, flame-red cinnamon-stones, orange and violet
spinels, and amethysts with their alternate layers of ruby and
sapphire. He loved the red gold of the sunstone, and the
moonstone’s pearly whiteness, and the broken rainbow of the milky
opal. He procured from Amsterdam three emeralds of extraordinary
size and richness of colour, and had a turquoise de la
vieille roche that was the envy of all the connoisseurs. |
|
[11.18] He discovered wonderful
stories, also, about jewels. In Alphonso’s Clericalis Disciplina
a serpent was mentioned with eyes of real jacinth, and in the
romantic history of Alexander, the Conqueror of Emathia was said
to have found in the vale of Jordan snakes “with collars of
real emeralds growing on their backs.” There was a gem in
the brain of the dragon, Philostratus told us, and “by the
exhibition of golden letters and a scarlet robe” the
monster could be thrown into a magical sleep and slain. According
to the great alchemist, Pierre de Boniface, the diamond rendered
a man invisible, and the agate of India made him eloquent. The
cornelian appeased anger, and the hyacinth provoked sleep, and
the amethyst drove away the fumes of wine. The garnet cast out
demons, and the hydropicus deprived the moon of her colour. The
selenite waxed and waned with the moon, and the meloceus, that
discovers thieves, could be affected only by the blood of kids.
Leonardus Camillus had seen a white stone taken from the brain of
a newly killed toad, that was a certain antidote against poison.
The bezoar, that was found in the heart of the Arabian deer, was
a charm that could cure the plague. In the nests of Arabian birds
was the aspilates, that, according to Democritus, kept the wearer
from any danger by fire. |
|
[11.19] The King of Ceilan rode
through his city with a large ruby in his hand, as the ceremony
of his coronation. The gates of the palace of John the Priest
were “made of sardius, with the horn of the horned snake
inwrought, so that no man might bring poison within.” Over
the gable were “two golden apples, in which were two
carbuncles,” so that the gold might shine by day and the
carbuncles by night. In Lodge’s strange romance “A
Margarite of America,” it was stated that in the chamber of
the queen one could behold “all the chaste ladies of the
world, inchased out of silver, looking through fair mirrours of
chrysolites, carbuncles, sapphires, and greene emeraults.”
Marco Polo had seen the inhabitants of Zipangu place
rose-coloured pearls in the mouths of the dead. A sea-monster had
been enamoured of the pearl that the diver brought to King
Perozes, and had slain the thief, and mourned for seven moons
over its loss. When the Huns lured the king into the great pit,
he flung it away—Procopius tells the story—nor was it
ever found again, though the Emperor Anastasius offered five
hundred-weight of gold pieces for it. The King of Malabar had
shown to a certain Venetian a rosary of three hundred and four
pearls, one for every god that he worshipped. |
|
[11.20] When the Duke de Valentinois,
son of Alexander VI, visited Louis XII of France, his horse was
loaded with gold leaves, according to Brantome, and his cap had
double rows of rubies that threw out a great light. Charles of
England had ridden in stirrups hung with four hundred and
twenty-one diamonds. Richard II had a coat, valued at thirty
thousand marks, which was covered with balas rubies. Hall
described Henry VIII, on his way to the Tower previous to his
coronation, as wearing “a jacket of raised gold, the
placard embroidered with diamonds and other rich stones, and a
great bauderike about his neck of large balasses.” The
favourites of James I wore ear-rings of emeralds set in gold
filigrane. Edward II gave to Piers Gaveston a suit of red-gold
armour studded with jacinths, a collar of gold roses set with
turquoise-stones, and a skull-cap parsemé with
pearls. Henry II wore jewelled gloves reaching to the elbow, and
had a hawk-glove sewn with twelve rubies and fifty-two great
orients. The ducal hat of Charles the Rash, the last Duke of
Burgundy of his race, was hung with pear-shaped pearls and
studded with sapphires. |
|
[11.21] How exquisite life had once
been! How gorgeous in its pomp and decoration! Even to read of
the luxury of the dead was wonderful. |
|
[11.22] Then he turned his attention
to embroideries and to the tapestries that performed the office
of frescoes in the chill rooms of the northern nations of Europe.
As he investigated the subject—and he always had an
extraordinary faculty of becoming absolutely absorbed for the
moment in whatever he took up—he was almost saddened by the
reflection of the ruin that time brought on beautiful and
wonderful things. He, at any rate, had escaped that. Summer
followed summer, and the yellow jonquils bloomed and died many
times, and nights of horror repeated the story of their shame,
but he was unchanged. No winter marred his face or stained his
flowerlike bloom. How different it was with material things!
Where had they passed to? Where was the great crocus-coloured
robe, on which the gods fought against the giants, that had been
worked by brown girls for the pleasure of Athena? Where the huge
velarium that Nero had stretched across the Colosseum at Rome,
that Titan sail of purple on which was represented the starry
sky, and Apollo driving a chariot drawn by white, gilt-reined
steeds? He longed to see the curious table-napkins wrought for
the Priest of the Sun, on which were displayed all the dainties
and viands that could be wanted for a feast; the mortuary cloth
of King Chilperic, with its three hundred golden bees; the
fantastic robes that excited the indignation of the Bishop of
Pontus and were figured with “lions, panthers, bears, dogs,
forests, rocks, hunters—all, in fact, that a painter can
copy from nature”; and the coat that Charles of Orleans
once wore, on the sleeves of which were embroidered the verses of
a song beginning “Madame, je suis tout
joyeux,” the musical accompaniment of the words being
wrought in gold thread, and each note, of square shape in those
days, formed with four pearls. He read of the room that was
prepared at the palace at Rheims for the use of Queen Joan of
Burgundy and was decorated with “thirteen hundred and
twenty-one parrots, made in broidery, and blazoned with the
king’s arms, and five hundred and sixty-one butterflies, whose
wings were similarly ornamented with the arms of the queen, the
whole worked in gold.” Catherine de Médicis had a
mourning-bed made for her of black velvet powdered with crescents
and suns. Its curtains were of damask, with leafy wreaths and
garlands, figured upon a gold and silver ground, and fringed
along the edges with broideries of pearls, and it stood in a room
hung with rows of the queen’s devices in cut black velvet upon
cloth of silver. Louis XIV had gold embroidered caryatides
fifteen feet high in his apartment. The state bed of Sobieski,
King of Poland, was made of Smyrna gold brocade embroidered in
turquoises with verses from the Koran. Its supports were of
silver gilt, beautifully chased, and profusely set with enamelled
and jewelled medallions. It had been taken from the Turkish camp
before Vienna, and the standard of Mohammed had stood beneath the
tremulous gilt of its canopy. |
|
[11.23] And so, for a whole year, he
sought to accumulate the most exquisite specimens that he could
find of textile and embroidered work, getting the dainty Delhi
muslins, finely wrought with gold-thread palmates and stitched
over with iridescent beetles’ wings; the Dacca gauzes, that from
their transparency are known in the East as “woven
air,” and “running water,” and “evening
dew”; strange figured cloths from Java; elaborate yellow
Chinese hangings; books bound in tawny satins or fair blue silks
and wrought with fleurs de lys, birds and images; veils
of lacis worked in Hungary point; Sicilian brocades and
stiff Spanish velvets; Georgian work, with its gilt coins, and
Japanese Foukousas, with their green-toned golds and their
marvellously plumaged birds. |
|
[11.24] He had a special passion,
also, for ecclesiastical vestments, as indeed he had for
everything connected with the service of the Church. In the long
cedar chests that lined the west gallery of his house, he had
stored away many rare and beautiful specimens of what is really
the raiment of the Bride of Christ, who must wear purple and
jewels and fine linen that she may hide the pallid macerated body
that is worn by the suffering that she seeks for and wounded by
self-inflicted pain. He possessed a gorgeous cope of crimson silk
and gold-thread damask, figured with a repeating pattern of
golden pomegranates set in six-petalled formal blossoms, beyond
which on either side was the pine-apple device wrought in
seed-pearls. The orphreys were divided into panels representing
scenes from the life of the Virgin, and the coronation of the
Virgin was figured in coloured silks upon the hood. This was
Italian work of the fifteenth century. Another cope was of green
velvet, embroidered with heart-shaped groups of acanthus-leaves,
from which spread long-stemmed white blossoms, the details of
which were picked out with silver thread and coloured crystals.
The morse bore a seraph’s head in gold-thread raised work. The
orphreys were woven in a diaper of red and gold silk, and were
starred with medallions of many saints and martyrs, among whom
was St. Sebastian. He had chasubles, also, of amber-coloured
silk, and blue silk and gold brocade, and yellow silk damask and
cloth of gold, figured with representations of the Passion and
Crucifixion of Christ, and embroidered with lions and peacocks
and other emblems; dalmatics of white satin and pink silk damask,
decorated with tulips and dolphins and fleurs de lys;
altar frontals of crimson velvet and blue linen; and many
corporals, chalice-veils, and sudaria. In the mystic offices to
which such things were put, there was something that quickened
his imagination. |
|
[11.25] For these treasures, and
everything that he collected in his lovely house, were to be to
him means of forgetfulness, modes by which he could escape, for a
season, from the fear that seemed to him at times to be almost
too great to be borne. Upon the walls of the lonely locked room
where he had spent so much of his boyhood, he had hung with his
own hands the terrible portrait whose changing features showed
him the real degradation of his life, and in front of it had
draped the purple-and-gold pall as a curtain. For weeks he would
not go there, would forget the hideous painted thing, and get
back his light heart, his wonderful joyousness, his passionate
absorption in mere existence. Then, suddenly, some night he would
creep out of the house, go down to dreadful places near Blue Gate
Fields, and stay there, day after day, until he was driven away.
On his return he would sit in front of the picture, sometimes
loathing it and himself, but filled, at other times, with that
pride of individualism that is half the fascination of sin, and
smiling with secret pleasure at the misshapen shadow that had to
bear the burden that should have been his own. |
|
[11.26] After a few years he could
not endure to be long out of England, and gave up the villa that
he had shared at Trouville with Lord Henry, as well as the little
white walled-in house at Algiers where they had more than once
spent the winter. He hated to be separated from the picture that
was such a part of his life, and was also afraid that during his
absence some one might gain access to the room, in spite of the
elaborate bars that he had caused to be placed upon the door. |
|
[11.27] He was quite conscious that
this would tell them nothing. It was true that the portrait still
preserved, under all the foulness and ugliness of the face, its
marked likeness to himself; but what could they learn from that?
He would laugh at any one who tried to taunt him. He had not
painted it. What was it to him how vile and full of shame it
looked? Even if he told them, would they believe it? |
|
[11.28] Yet he was afraid. Sometimes
when he was down at his great house in Nottinghamshire,
entertaining the fashionable young men of his own rank who were
his chief companions, and astounding the county by the wanton
luxury and gorgeous splendour of his mode of life, he would
suddenly leave his guests and rush back to town to see that the
door had not been tampered with and that the picture was still
there. What if it should be stolen? The mere thought made him
cold with horror. Surely the world would know his secret then.
Perhaps the world already suspected it. |
|
[11.29] For, while he fascinated
many, there were not a few who distrusted him. He was very nearly
blackballed at a West End club of which his birth and social
position fully entitled him to become a member, and it was said
that on one occasion, when he was brought by a friend into the
smoking-room of the Churchill, the Duke of Berwick and another
gentleman got up in a marked manner and went out. Curious stories
became current about him after he had passed his twenty-fifth
year. It was rumoured that he had been seen brawling with foreign
sailors in a low den in the distant parts of Whitechapel, and
that he consorted with thieves and coiners and knew the mysteries
of their trade. His extraordinary absences became notorious, and,
when he used to reappear again in society, men would whisper to
each other in corners, or pass him with a sneer, or look at him
with cold searching eyes, as though they were determined to
discover his secret. |
|
[11.30] Of such insolences and
attempted slights he, of course, took no notice, and in the
opinion of most people his frank debonair manner, his charming
boyish smile, and the infinite grace of that wonderful youth that
seemed never to leave him, were in themselves a sufficient answer
to the calumnies, for so they termed them, that were circulated
about him. It was remarked, however, that some of those who had
been most intimate with him appeared, after a time, to shun him.
Women who had wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all
social censure and set convention at defiance, were seen to grow
pallid with shame or horror if Dorian Gray entered the room. |
|
[11.31] Yet these whispered scandals
only increased in the eyes of many his strange and dangerous
charm. His great wealth was a certain element of security.
Society—civilized society, at least—is never very
ready to believe anything to the detriment of those who are both
rich and fascinating. It feels instinctively that manners are of
more importance than morals, and, in its opinion, the highest
respectability is of much less value than the possession of a
good chef. And, after all, it is a very poor consolation
to be told that the man who has given one a bad dinner, or poor
wine, is irreproachable in his private life. Even the cardinal
virtues cannot atone for half-cold entrées, as
Lord Henry remarked once, in a discussion on the subject, and
there is possibly a good deal to be said for his view. For the
canons of good society are, or should be, the same as the canons
of art. Form is absolutely essential to it. It should have the
dignity of a ceremony, as well as its unreality, and should
combine the insincere character of a romantic play with the wit
and beauty that make such plays delightful to us. Is insincerity
such a terrible thing? I think not. It is merely a method by
which we can multiply our personalities. |
|
[11.32] Such, at any rate, was Dorian
Gray’s opinion. He used to wonder at the shallow psychology of
those who conceive the ego in man as a thing simple, permanent,
reliable, and of one essence. To him, man was a being with myriad
lives and myriad sensations, a complex multiform creature that
bore within itself strange legacies of thought and passion, and
whose very flesh was tainted with the monstrous maladies of the
dead. He loved to stroll through the gaunt cold picture-gallery
of his country house and look at the various portraits of those
whose blood flowed in his veins. Here was Philip Herbert,
described by Francis Osborne, in his Memoires on the Reigns of
Queen Elizabeth and King James, as one who was “caressed by
the Court for his handsome face, which kept him not long
company.” Was it young Herbert’s life that he sometimes
led? Had some strange poisonous germ crept from body to body till
it had reached his own? Was it some dim sense of that ruined
grace that had made him so suddenly, and almost without cause,
give utterance, in Basil Hallward’s studio, to the mad prayer
that had so changed his life? Here, in gold-embroidered red
doublet, jewelled surcoat, and gilt-edged ruff and wristbands,
stood Sir Anthony Sherard, with his silver-and-black armour piled
at his feet. What had this man’s legacy been? Had the lover of
Giovanna of Naples bequeathed him some inheritance of sin and
shame? Were his own actions merely the dreams that the dead man
had not dared to realize? Here, from the fading canvas, smiled
Lady Elizabeth Devereux, in her gauze hood, pearl stomacher, and
pink slashed sleeves. A flower was in her right hand, and her
left clasped an enamelled collar of white and damask roses. On a
table by her side lay a mandolin and an apple. There were large
green rosettes upon her little pointed shoes. He knew her life,
and the strange stories that were told about her lovers. Had he
something of her temperament in him? These oval, heavy-lidded
eyes seemed to look curiously at him. What of George Willoughby,
with his powdered hair and fantastic patches? How evil he looked!
The face was saturnine and swarthy, and the sensual lips seemed
to be twisted with disdain. Delicate lace ruffles fell over the
lean yellow hands that were so overladen with rings. He had been
a macaroni of the eighteenth century, and the friend, in his
youth, of Lord Ferrars. What of the second Lord Beckenham, the
companion of the Prince Regent in his wildest days, and one of
the witnesses at the secret marriage with Mrs. Fitzherbert? How
proud and handsome he was, with his chestnut curls and insolent
pose! What passions had he bequeathed? The world had looked upon
him as infamous. He had led the orgies at Carlton House. The star
of the Garter glittered upon his breast. Beside him hung the
portrait of his wife, a pallid, thin-lipped woman in black. Her
blood, also, stirred within him. How curious it all seemed! And
his mother with her Lady Hamilton face and her moist, wine-dashed
lips—he knew what he had got from her. He had got from her
his beauty, and his passion for the beauty of others. She laughed
at him in her loose Bacchante dress. There were vine leaves in
her hair. The purple spilled from the cup she was holding. The
carnations of the painting had withered, but the eyes were still
wonderful in their depth and brilliancy of colour. They seemed to
follow him wherever he went. |
|
[11.33] Yet one had ancestors in
literature as well as in one’s own race, nearer perhaps in type
and temperament, many of them, and certainly with an influence of
which one was more absolutely conscious. There were times when it
appeared to Dorian Gray that the whole of history was merely the
record of his own life, not as he had lived it in act and
circumstance, but as his imagination had created it for him, as
it had been in his brain and in his passions. He felt that he had
known them all, those strange terrible figures that had passed
across the stage of the world and made sin so marvellous and evil
so full of subtlety. It seemed to him that in some mysterious way
their lives had been his own. |
|
[11.34] The hero of the wonderful
novel that had so influenced his life had himself known this
curious fancy. In the seventh chapter he tells how, crowned with
laurel, lest lightning might strike him, he had sat, as Tiberius,
in a garden at Capri, reading the shameful books of Elephantis,
while dwarfs and peacocks strutted round him and the flute-player
mocked the swinger of the censer; and, as Caligula, had caroused
with the green-shirted jockeys in their stables and supped in an
ivory manger with a jewel-frontleted horse; and, as Domitian, had
wandered through a corridor lined with marble mirrors, looking
round with haggard eyes for the reflection of the dagger that was
to end his days, and sick with that ennui, that terrible
tædium vitæ, that comes on those to whom
life denies nothing; and had peered through a clear emerald at
the red shambles of the circus and then, in a litter of pearl and
purple drawn by silver-shod mules, been carried through the
Street of Pomegranates to a House of Gold and heard men cry on
Nero Caesar as he passed by; and, as Elagabalus, had painted his
face with colours, and plied the distaff among the women, and
brought the Moon from Carthage and given her in mystic marriage
to the Sun. |
|
[11.35] Over and over again Dorian
used to read this fantastic chapter, and the two chapters
immediately following, in which, as in some curious tapestries or
cunningly wrought enamels, were pictured the awful and beautiful
forms of those whom vice and blood and weariness had made
monstrous or mad: Filippo, Duke of Milan, who slew his wife and
painted her lips with a scarlet poison that her lover might suck
death from the dead thing he fondled; Pietro Barbi, the Venetian,
known as Paul the Second, who sought in his vanity to assume the
title of Formosus, and whose tiara, valued at two hundred
thousand florins, was bought at the price of a terrible sin; Gian
Maria Visconti, who used hounds to chase living men and whose
murdered body was covered with roses by a harlot who had loved
him; the Borgia on his white horse, with Fratricide riding beside
him and his mantle stained with the blood of Perotto; Pietro
Riario, the young Cardinal Archbishop of Florence, child and
minion of Sixtus IV., whose beauty was equalled only by his
debauchery, and who received Leonora of Aragon in a pavilion of
white and crimson silk, filled with nymphs and centaurs, and
gilded a boy that he might serve at the feast as Ganymede or
Hylas; Ezzelin, whose melancholy could be cured only by the
spectacle of death, and who had a passion for red blood, as other
men have for red wine—the son of the Fiend, as was
reported, and one who had cheated his father at dice when
gambling with him for his own soul; Giambattista Cibo, who in
mockery took the name of Innocent and into whose torpid veins the
blood of three lads was infused by a Jewish doctor; Sigismondo
Malatesta, the lover of Isotta and the lord of Rimini, whose
effigy was burned at Rome as the enemy of God and man, who
strangled Polyssena with a napkin, and gave poison to Ginevra
d’Este in a cup of emerald, and in honour of a shameful passion
built a pagan church for Christian worship; Charles VI, who had
so wildly adored his brother’s wife that a leper had warned him
of the insanity that was coming on him, and who, when his brain
had sickened and grown strange, could only be soothed by Saracen
cards painted with the images of love and death and madness; and,
in his trimmed jerkin and jewelled cap and acanthuslike curls,
Grifonetto Baglioni, who slew Astorre with his bride, and
Simonetto with his page, and whose comeliness was such that, as
he lay dying in the yellow piazza of Perugia, those who had hated
him could not choose but weep, and Atalanta, who had cursed him,
blessed him. |
|
[11.36] There was a horrible
fascination in them all. He saw them at night, and they troubled
his imagination in the day. The Renaissance knew of strange
manners of poisoning—poisoning by a helmet and a lighted
torch, by an embroidered glove and a jewelled fan, by a gilded
pomander and by an amber chain. Dorian Gray had been poisoned by
a book. There were moments when he looked on evil simply as a
mode through which he could realize his conception of the
beautiful. |
|
|
|
Chapter 12 |
|
[12.1] It was on the ninth of
November, the eve of his own thirty-eighth birthday, as he often
remembered afterwards. |
|
[12.2] He was walking home about
eleven o’clock from Lord Henry’s, where he had been dining, and
was wrapped in heavy furs, as the night was cold and foggy. At
the corner of Grosvenor Square and South Audley Street, a man
passed him in the mist, walking very fast and with the collar of
his grey ulster turned up. He had a bag in his hand. Dorian
recognized him. It was Basil Hallward. A strange sense of fear,
for which he could not account, came over him. He made no sign of
recognition and went on quickly in the direction of his own
house. |
|
[12.3] But Hallward had seen him.
Dorian heard him first stopping on the pavement and then hurrying
after him. In a few moments, his hand was on his arm. |
|
[12.4] “Dorian! What an
extraordinary piece of luck! I have been waiting for you in your
library ever since nine o’clock. Finally I took pity on your
tired servant and told him to go to bed, as he let me out. I am
off to Paris by the midnight train, and I particularly wanted to
see you before I left. I thought it was you, or rather your fur
coat, as you passed me. But I wasn’t quite sure. Didn’t you
recognize me?” |
|
[12.5] “In this fog, my dear
Basil? Why, I can’t even recognize Grosvenor Square. I believe my
house is somewhere about here, but I don’t feel at all certain
about it. I am sorry you are going away, as I have not seen you
for ages. But I suppose you will be back soon?” |
|
[12.6] “No: I am going to be
out of England for six months. I intend to take a studio in Paris
and shut myself up till I have finished a great picture I have in
my head. However, it wasn’t about myself I wanted to talk. Here
we are at your door. Let me come in for a moment. I have
something to say to you.” |
|
[12.7] “I shall be charmed. But
won’t you miss your train?” said Dorian Gray languidly as
he passed up the steps and opened the door with his
latch-key. |
|
[12.8] The lamplight struggled out
through the fog, and Hallward looked at his watch. “I have
heaps of time,” he answered. “The train doesn’t go
till twelve-fifteen, and it is only just eleven. In fact, I was
on my way to the club to look for you, when I met you. You see, I
shan’t have any delay about luggage, as I have sent on my heavy
things. All I have with me is in this bag, and I can easily get
to Victoria in twenty minutes.” |
|
[12.9] Dorian looked at him and
smiled. “What a way for a fashionable painter to travel! A
Gladstone bag and an ulster! Come in, or the fog will get into
the house. And mind you don’t talk about anything serious.
Nothing is serious nowadays. At least nothing should
be.” |
|
[12.10] Hallward shook his head, as
he entered, and followed Dorian into the library. There was a
bright wood fire blazing in the large open hearth. The lamps were
lit, and an open Dutch silver spirit-case stood, with some
siphons of soda-water and large cut-glass tumblers, on a little
marqueterie table. |
|
[12.11] “You see your servant
made me quite at home, Dorian. He gave me everything I wanted,
including your best gold-tipped cigarettes. He is a most
hospitable creature. I like him much better than the Frenchman
you used to have. What has become of the Frenchman, by the
bye?” |
|
[12.12] Dorian shrugged his
shoulders. “I believe he married Lady Radley’s maid, and
has established her in Paris as an English dressmaker.
Anglomanie is very fashionable over there now, I hear.
It seems silly of the French, doesn’t it? But—do you
know?—he was not at all a bad servant. I never liked him,
but I had nothing to complain about. One often imagines things
that are quite absurd. He was really very devoted to me and
seemed quite sorry when he went away. Have another
brandy-and-soda? Or would you like hock-and-seltzer? I always
take hock-and-seltzer myself. There is sure to be some in the
next room.” |
|
[12.13] “Thanks, I won’t have
anything more,” said the painter, taking his cap and coat
off and throwing them on the bag that he had placed in the
corner. “And now, my dear fellow, I want to speak to you
seriously. Don’t frown like that. You make it so much more
difficult for me.” |
|
[12.14] “What is it all
about?” cried Dorian in his petulant way, flinging himself
down on the sofa. “I hope it is not about myself. I am
tired of myself to-night. I should like to be somebody
else.” |
|
[12.15] “It is about
yourself,” answered Hallward in his grave deep voice,
“and I must say it to you. I shall only keep you half an
hour.” |
|
[12.16] Dorian sighed and lit a
cigarette. “Half an hour!” he murmured. |
|
[12.17] “It is not much to ask
of you, Dorian, and it is entirely for your own sake that I am
speaking. I think it right that you should know that the most
dreadful things are being said against you in London.” |
|
[12.18] “I don’t wish to know
anything about them. I love scandals about other people, but
scandals about myself don’t interest me. They have not got the
charm of novelty.” |
|
[12.19] “They must interest
you, Dorian. Every gentleman is interested in his good name. You
don’t want people to talk of you as something vile and degraded.
Of course, you have your position, and your wealth, and all that
kind of thing. But position and wealth are not everything. Mind
you, I don’t believe these rumours at all. At least, I can’t
believe them when I see you. Sin is a thing that writes itself
across a man’s face. It cannot be concealed. People talk
sometimes of secret vices. There are no such things. If a
wretched man has a vice, it shows itself in the lines of his
mouth, the droop of his eyelids, the moulding of his hands even.
Somebody—I won’t mention his name, but you know
him—came to me last year to have his portrait done. I had
never seen him before, and had never heard anything about him at
the time, though I have heard a good deal since. He offered an
extravagant price. I refused him. There was something in the
shape of his fingers that I hated. I know now that I was quite
right in what I fancied about him. His life is dreadful. But you,
Dorian, with your pure, bright, innocent face, and your
marvellous untroubled youth—I can’t believe anything
against you. And yet I see you very seldom, and you never come
down to the studio now, and when I am away from you, and I hear
all these hideous things that people are whispering about you, I
don’t know what to say. Why is it, Dorian, that a man like the
Duke of Berwick leaves the room of a club when you enter it? Why
is it that so many gentlemen in London will neither go to your
house or invite you to theirs? You used to be a friend of Lord
Staveley. I met him at dinner last week. Your name happened to
come up in conversation, in connection with the miniatures you
have lent to the exhibition at the Dudley. Staveley curled his
lip and said that you might have the most artistic tastes, but
that you were a man whom no pure-minded girl should be allowed to
know, and whom no chaste woman should sit in the same room with.
I reminded him that I was a friend of yours, and asked him what
he meant. He told me. He told me right out before everybody. It
was horrible! Why is your friendship so fatal to young men? There
was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You
were his great friend. There was Sir Henry Ashton, who had to
leave England with a tarnished name. You and he were inseparable.
What about Adrian Singleton and his dreadful end? What about Lord
Kent’s only son and his career? I met his father yesterday in St.
James’s Street. He seemed broken with shame and sorrow. What
about the young Duke of Perth? What sort of life has he got now?
What gentleman would associate with him?” |
|
[12.20] “Stop, Basil. You are
talking about things of which you know nothing,” said
Dorian Gray, biting his lip, and with a note of infinite contempt
in his voice. “You ask me why Berwick leaves a room when I
enter it. It is because I know everything about his life, not
because he knows anything about mine. With such blood as he has
in his veins, how could his record be clean? You ask me about
Henry Ashton and young Perth. Did I teach the one his vices, and
the other his debauchery? If Kent’s silly son takes his wife from
the streets, what is that to me? If Adrian Singleton writes his
friend’s name across a bill, am I his keeper? I know how people
chatter in England. The middle classes air their moral prejudices
over their gross dinner-tables, and whisper about what they call
the profligacies of their betters in order to try and pretend
that they are in smart society and on intimate terms with the
people they slander. In this country, it is enough for a man to
have distinction and brains for every common tongue to wag
against him. And what sort of lives do these people, who pose as
being moral, lead themselves? My dear fellow, you forget that we
are in the native land of the hypocrite.” |
|
[12.21] “Dorian,” cried
Hallward, “that is not the question. England is bad enough
I know, and English society is all wrong. That is the reason why
I want you to be fine. You have not been fine. One has a right to
judge of a man by the effect he has over his friends. Yours seem
to lose all sense of honour, of goodness, of purity. You have
filled them with a madness for pleasure. They have gone down into
the depths. You led them there. Yes: you led them there, and yet
you can smile, as you are smiling now. And there is worse behind.
I know you and Harry are inseparable. Surely for that reason, if
for none other, you should not have made his sister’s name a
by-word.” |
|
[12.22] “Take care, Basil. You
go too far.” |
|
[12.23] “I must speak, and you
must listen. You shall listen. When you met Lady Gwendolen, not a
breath of scandal had ever touched her. Is there a single decent
woman in London now who would drive with her in the park? Why,
even her children are not allowed to live with her. Then there
are other stories—stories that you have been seen creeping
at dawn out of dreadful houses and slinking in disguise into the
foulest dens in London. Are they true? Can they be true? When I
first heard them, I laughed. I hear them now, and they make me
shudder. What about your country-house and the life that is led
there? Dorian, you don’t know what is said about you. I won’t
tell you that I don’t want to preach to you. I remember Harry
saying once that every man who turned himself into an amateur
curate for the moment always began by saying that, and then
proceeded to break his word. I do want to preach to you. I want
you to lead such a life as will make the world respect you. I
want you to have a clean name and a fair record. I want you to
get rid of the dreadful people you associate with. Don’t shrug
your shoulders like that. Don’t be so indifferent. You have a
wonderful influence. Let it be for good, not for evil. They say
that you corrupt every one with whom you become intimate, and
that it is quite sufficient for you to enter a house for shame of
some kind to follow after. I don’t know whether it is so or not.
How should I know? But it is said of you. I am told things that
it seems impossible to doubt. Lord Gloucester was one of my
greatest friends at Oxford. He showed me a letter that his wife
had written to him when she was dying alone in her villa at
Mentone. Your name was implicated in the most terrible confession
I ever read. I told him that it was absurd—that I knew you
thoroughly and that you were incapable of anything of the kind.
Know you? I wonder do I know you? Before I could answer that, I
should have to see your soul.” |
|
[12.24] “To see my soul!”
muttered Dorian Gray, starting up from the sofa and turning
almost white from fear. |
|
[12.25] “Yes,” answered
Hallward gravely, and with deep-toned sorrow in his voice,
“to see your soul. But only God can do that.” |
|
[12.26] A bitter laugh of mockery
broke from the lips of the younger man. “You shall see it
yourself, to-night!” he cried, seizing a lamp from the
table. “Come: it is your own handiwork. Why shouldn’t you
look at it? You can tell the world all about it afterwards, if
you choose. Nobody would believe you. If they did believe you,
they would like me all the better for it. I know the age better
than you do, though you will prate about it so tediously. Come, I
tell you. You have chattered enough about corruption. Now you
shall look on it face to face.” |
|
[12.27] There was the madness of
pride in every word he uttered. He stamped his foot upon the
ground in his boyish insolent manner. He felt a terrible joy at
the thought that some one else was to share his secret, and that
the man who had painted the portrait that was the origin of all
his shame was to be burdened for the rest of his life with the
hideous memory of what he had done. |
|
[12.28] “Yes,” he
continued, coming closer to him and looking steadfastly into his
stern eyes, “I shall show you my soul. You shall see the
thing that you fancy only God can see.” |
|
[12.29] Hallward started back.
“This is blasphemy, Dorian!” he cried. “You
must not say things like that. They are horrible, and they don’t
mean anything.” |
|
[12.30] “You think so?”
He laughed again. |
|
[12.31] “I know so. As for what
I said to you to-night, I said it for your good. You know I have
been always a stanch friend to you.” |
|
[12.32] “Don’t touch me. Finish
what you have to say.” |
|
[12.33] A twisted flash of pain shot
across the painter’s face. He paused for a moment, and a wild
feeling of pity came over him. After all, what right had he to
pry into the life of Dorian Gray? If he had done a tithe of what
was rumoured about him, how much he must have suffered! Then he
straightened himself up, and walked over to the fire-place, and
stood there, looking at the burning logs with their frostlike
ashes and their throbbing cores of flame. |
|
[12.34] “I am waiting,
Basil,” said the young man in a hard clear voice. |
|
[12.35] He turned round. “What
I have to say is this,” he cried. “You must give me
some answer to these horrible charges that are made against you.
If you tell me that they are absolutely untrue from beginning to
end, I shall believe you. Deny them, Dorian, deny them! Can’t you
see what I am going through? My God! don’t tell me that you are
bad, and corrupt, and shameful.” |
|
[12.36] Dorian Gray smiled. There was
a curl of contempt in his lips. “Come upstairs,
Basil,” he said quietly. “I keep a diary of my life
from day to day, and it never leaves the room in which it is
written. I shall show it to you if you come with me.” |
|
[12.37] “I shall come with you,
Dorian, if you wish it. I see I have missed my train. That makes
no matter. I can go to-morrow. But don’t ask me to read anything
to-night. All I want is a plain answer to my question.” |
|
[12.38] “That shall be given to
you upstairs. I could not give it here. You will not have to read
long.” |
|
|
|
Chapter 13 |
|
[13.1] He passed out of the room and
began the ascent, Basil Hallward following close behind. They
walked softly, as men do instinctively at night. The lamp cast
fantastic shadows on the wall and staircase. A rising wind made
some of the windows rattle. |
|
[13.2] When they reached the top
landing, Dorian set the lamp down on the floor, and taking out
the key, turned it in the lock. “You insist on knowing,
Basil?” he asked in a low voice. |
|
[13.3] “Yes.” |
|
[13.4] “I am delighted,”
he answered, smiling. Then he added, somewhat harshly, “You
are the one man in the world who is entitled to know everything
about me. You have had more to do with my life than you
think”; and, taking up the lamp, he opened the door and
went in. A cold current of air passed them, and the light shot up
for a moment in a flame of murky orange. He shuddered.
“Shut the door behind you,” he whispered, as he
placed the lamp on the table. |
|
[13.5] Hallward glanced round him
with a puzzled expression. The room looked as if it had not been
lived in for years. A faded Flemish tapestry, a curtained
picture, an old Italian cassone, and an almost empty
book-case—that was all that it seemed to contain, besides a
chair and a table. As Dorian Gray was lighting a half-burned
candle that was standing on the mantelshelf, he saw that the
whole place was covered with dust and that the carpet was in
holes. A mouse ran scuffling behind the wainscoting. There was a
damp odour of mildew. |
|
[13.6] “So you think that it is
only God who sees the soul, Basil? Draw that curtain back, and
you will see mine.” |
|
[13.7] The voice that spoke was cold
and cruel. “You are mad, Dorian, or playing a part,”
muttered Hallward, frowning. |
|
[13.8] “You won’t? Then I must
do it myself,” said the young man, and he tore the curtain
from its rod and flung it on the ground. |
|
[13.9] An exclamation of horror broke
from the painter’s lips as he saw in the dim light the hideous
face on the canvas grinning at him. There was something in its
expression that filled him with disgust and loathing. Good
heavens! it was Dorian Gray’s own face that he was looking at!
The horror, whatever it was, had not yet entirely spoiled that
marvellous beauty. There was still some gold in the thinning hair
and some scarlet on the sensual mouth. The sodden eyes had kept
something of the loveliness of their blue, the noble curves had
not yet completely passed away from chiselled nostrils and from
plastic throat. Yes, it was Dorian himself. But who had done it?
He seemed to recognize his own brushwork, and the frame was his
own design. The idea was monstrous, yet he felt afraid. He seized
the lighted candle, and held it to the picture. In the left-hand
corner was his own name, traced in long letters of bright
vermilion. |
|
[13.10] It was some foul parody, some
infamous ignoble satire. He had never done that. Still, it was
his own picture. He knew it, and he felt as if his blood had
changed in a moment from fire to sluggish ice. His own picture!
What did it mean? Why had it altered? He turned and looked at
Dorian Gray with the eyes of a sick man. His mouth twitched, and
his parched tongue seemed unable to articulate. He passed his
hand across his forehead. It was dank with clammy sweat. |
|
[13.11] The young man was leaning
against the mantelshelf, watching him with that strange
expression that one sees on the faces of those who are absorbed
in a play when some great artist is acting. There was neither
real sorrow in it nor real joy. There was simply the passion of
the spectator, with perhaps a flicker of triumph in his eyes. He
had taken the flower out of his coat, and was smelling it, or
pretending to do so. |
|
[13.12] “What does this
mean?” cried Hallward, at last. His own voice sounded
shrill and curious in his ears. |
|
[13.13] “Years ago, when I was
a boy,” said Dorian Gray, crushing the flower in his hand,
“you met me, flattered me, and taught me to be vain of my
good looks. One day you introduced me to a friend of yours, who
explained to me the wonder of youth, and you finished a portrait
of me that revealed to me the wonder of beauty. In a mad moment
that, even now, I don’t know whether I regret or not, I made a
wish, perhaps you would call it a
prayer. . . .” |
|
[13.14] “I remember it! Oh, how
well I remember it! No! the thing is impossible. The room is
damp. Mildew has got into the canvas. The paints I used had some
wretched mineral poison in them. I tell you the thing is
impossible.” |
|
[13.15] “Ah, what is
impossible?” murmured the young man, going over to the
window and leaning his forehead against the cold, mist-stained
glass. |
|
[13.16] “You told me you had
destroyed it.” |
|
[13.17] “I was wrong. It has
destroyed me.” |
|
[13.18] “I don’t believe it is
my picture.” |
|
[13.19] “Can’t you see your
ideal in it?” said Dorian bitterly. |
|
[13.20] “My ideal, as you call
it. . .” |
|
[13.21] “As you called
it.” |
|
[13.22] “There was nothing evil
in it, nothing shameful. You were to me such an ideal as I shall
never meet again. This is the face of a satyr.” |
|
[13.23] “It is the face of my
soul.” |
|
[13.24] “Christ! what a thing I
must have worshipped! It has the eyes of a devil.” |
|
[13.25] “Each of us has heaven
and hell in him, Basil,” cried Dorian with a wild gesture
of despair. |
|
[13.26] Hallward turned again to the
portrait and gazed at it. “My God! If it is true,” he
exclaimed, “and this is what you have done with your life,
why, you must be worse even than those who talk against you fancy
you to be!” He held the light up again to the canvas and
examined it. The surface seemed to be quite undisturbed and as he
had left it. It was from within, apparently, that the foulness
and horror had come. Through some strange quickening of inner
life the leprosies of sin were slowly eating the thing away. The
rotting of a corpse in a watery grave was not so fearful. |
|
[13.27] His hand shook, and the
candle fell from its socket on the floor and lay there
sputtering. He placed his foot on it and put it out. Then he
flung himself into the rickety chair that was standing by the
table and buried his face in his hands. |
|
[13.28] “Good God, Dorian, what
a lesson! What an awful lesson!” There was no answer, but
he could hear the young man sobbing at the window. “Pray,
Dorian, pray,” he murmured. “What is it that one was
taught to say in one’s boyhood? ‘Lead us not into
temptation. Forgive us our sins. Wash away our iniquities.’
Let us say that together. The prayer of your pride has been
answered. The prayer of your repentance will be answered also. I
worshipped you too much. I am punished for it. You worshipped
yourself too much. We are both punished.” |
|
[13.29] Dorian Gray turned slowly
around and looked at him with tear-dimmed eyes. “It is too
late, Basil,” he faltered. |
|
[13.30] “It is never too late,
Dorian. Let us kneel down and try if we cannot remember a prayer.
Isn’t there a verse somewhere, ‘Though your sins be as
scarlet, yet I will make them as white as snow’?” |
|
[13.31] “Those words mean
nothing to me now.” |
|
[13.32] “Hush! Don’t say that.
You have done enough evil in your life. My God! Don’t you see
that accursed thing leering at us?” |
|
[13.33] Dorian Gray glanced at the
picture, and suddenly an uncontrollable feeling of hatred for
Basil Hallward came over him, as though it had been suggested to
him by the image on the canvas, whispered into his ear by those
grinning lips. The mad passions of a hunted animal stirred within
him, and he loathed the man who was seated at the table, more
than in his whole life he had ever loathed anything. He glanced
wildly around. Something glimmered on the top of the painted
chest that faced him. His eye fell on it. He knew what it was. It
was a knife that he had brought up, some days before, to cut a
piece of cord, and had forgotten to take away with him. He moved
slowly towards it, passing Hallward as he did so. As soon as he
got behind him, he seized it and turned round. Hallward stirred
in his chair as if he was going to rise. He rushed at him and dug
the knife into the great vein that is behind the ear, crushing
the man’s head down on the table and stabbing again and
again. |
|
[13.34] There was a stifled groan and
the horrible sound of some one choking with blood. Three times
the outstretched arms shot up convulsively, waving grotesque,
stiff-fingered hands in the air. He stabbed him twice more, but
the man did not move. Something began to trickle on the floor. He
waited for a moment, still pressing the head down. Then he threw
the knife on the table, and listened. |
|
[13.35] He could hear nothing, but
the drip, drip on the threadbare carpet. He opened the door and
went out on the landing. The house was absolutely quiet. No one
was about. For a few seconds he stood bending over the balustrade
and peering down into the black seething well of darkness. Then
he took out the key and returned to the room, locking himself in
as he did so. |
|
[13.36] The thing was still seated in
the chair, straining over the table with bowed head, and humped
back, and long fantastic arms. Had it not been for the red jagged
tear in the neck and the clotted black pool that was slowly
widening on the table, one would have said that the man was
simply asleep. |
|
[13.37] How quickly it had all been
done! He felt strangely calm, and walking over to the window,
opened it and stepped out on the balcony. The wind had blown the
fog away, and the sky was like a monstrous peacock’s tail,
starred with myriads of golden eyes. He looked down and saw the
policeman going his rounds and flashing the long beam of his
lantern on the doors of the silent houses. The crimson spot of a
prowling hansom gleamed at the corner and then vanished. A woman
in a fluttering shawl was creeping slowly by the railings,
staggering as she went. Now and then she stopped and peered back.
Once, she began to sing in a hoarse voice. The policeman strolled
over and said something to her. She stumbled away, laughing. A
bitter blast swept across the square. The gas-lamps flickered and
became blue, and the leafless trees shook their black iron
branches to and fro. He shivered and went back, closing the
window behind him. |
|
[13.38] Having reached the door, he
turned the key and opened it. He did not even glance at the
murdered man. He felt that the secret of the whole thing was not
to realize the situation. The friend who had painted the fatal
portrait to which all his misery had been due had gone out of his
life. That was enough. |
|
[13.39] Then he remembered the lamp.
It was a rather curious one of Moorish workmanship, made of dull
silver inlaid with arabesques of burnished steel, and studded
with coarse turquoises. Perhaps it might be missed by his
servant, and questions would be asked. He hesitated for a moment,
then he turned back and took it from the table. He could not help
seeing the dead thing. How still it was! How horribly white the
long hands looked! It was like a dreadful wax image. |
|
[13.40] Having locked the door behind
him, he crept quietly downstairs. The woodwork creaked and seemed
to cry out as if in pain. He stopped several times and waited.
No: everything was still. It was merely the sound of his own
footsteps. |
|
[13.41] When he reached the library,
he saw the bag and coat in the corner. They must be hidden away
somewhere. He unlocked a secret press that was in the
wainscoting, a press in which he kept his own curious disguises,
and put them into it. He could easily burn them afterwards. Then
he pulled out his watch. It was twenty minutes to two. |
|
[13.42] He sat down and began to
think. Every year—every month, almost—men were
strangled in England for what he had done. There had been a
madness of murder in the air. Some red star had come too close to
the earth. . . . And yet, what evidence was there
against him? Basil Hallward had left the house at eleven. No one
had seen him come in again. Most of the servants were at Selby
Royal. His valet had gone to bed. . . . Paris!
Yes. It was to Paris that Basil had gone, and by the midnight
train, as he had intended. With his curious reserved habits, it
would be months before any suspicions would be roused. Months!
Everything could be destroyed long before then. |
|
[13.43] A sudden thought struck him.
He put on his fur coat and hat and went out into the hall. There
he paused, hearing the slow heavy tread of the policeman on the
pavement outside and seeing the flash of the bull’s-eye reflected
in the window. He waited and held his breath. |
|
[13.44] After a few moments he drew
back the latch and slipped out, shutting the door very gently
behind him. Then he began ringing the bell. In about five minutes
his valet appeared, half-dressed and looking very drowsy. |
|
[13.45] “I am sorry to have had
to wake you up, Francis,” he said, stepping in; “but
I had forgotten my latch-key. What time is it?” |
|
[13.46] “Ten minutes past two,
sir,” answered the man, looking at the clock and
blinking. |
|
[13.47] “Ten minutes past two?
How horribly late! You must wake me at nine to-morrow. I have
some work to do.” |
|
[13.48] “All right,
sir.” |
|
[13.49] “Did any one call this
evening?” |
|
[13.50] “Mr. Hallward, sir. He
stayed here till eleven, and then he went away to catch his
train.” |
|
[13.51] “Oh! I am sorry I
didn’t see him. Did he leave any message?” |
|
[13.52] “No, sir, except that
he would write to you from Paris, if he did not find you at the
club.” |
|
[13.53] “That will do, Francis.
Don’t forget to call me at nine to-morrow.” |
|
[13.54] “No, sir.” |
|
[13.55] The man shambled down the
passage in his slippers. |
|
[13.56] Dorian Gray threw his hat and
coat upon the table and passed into the library. For a quarter of
an hour he walked up and down the room, biting his lip and
thinking. Then he took down the Blue Book from one of the shelves
and began to turn over the leaves. “Alan Campbell, 152,
Hertford Street, Mayfair.” Yes; that was the man he
wanted. |
|
|
|
Chapter 14 |
|
[14.1] At nine o’clock the next
morning his servant came in with a cup of chocolate on a tray and
opened the shutters. Dorian was sleeping quite peacefully, lying
on his right side, with one hand underneath his cheek. He looked
like a boy who had been tired out with play, or study. |
|
[14.2] The man had to touch him twice
on the shoulder before he woke, and as he opened his eyes a faint
smile passed across his lips, as though he had been lost in some
delightful dream. Yet he had not dreamed at all. His night had
been untroubled by any images of pleasure or of pain. But youth
smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms. |
|
[14.3] He turned round, and leaning
upon his elbow, began to sip his chocolate. The mellow November
sun came streaming into the room. The sky was bright, and there
was a genial warmth in the air. It was almost like a morning in
May. |
|
[14.4] Gradually the events of the
preceding night crept with silent, blood-stained feet into his
brain and reconstructed themselves there with terrible
distinctness. He winced at the memory of all that he had
suffered, and for a moment the same curious feeling of loathing
for Basil Hallward that had made him kill him as he sat in the
chair came back to him, and he grew cold with passion. The dead
man was still sitting there, too, and in the sunlight now. How
horrible that was! Such hideous things were for the darkness, not
for the day. |
|
[14.5] He felt that if he brooded on
what he had gone through he would sicken or grow mad. There were
sins whose fascination was more in the memory than in the doing
of them, strange triumphs that gratified the pride more than the
passions, and gave to the intellect a quickened sense of joy,
greater than any joy they brought, or could ever bring, to the
senses. But this was not one of them. It was a thing to be driven
out of the mind, to be drugged with poppies, to be strangled lest
it might strangle one itself. |
|
[14.6] When the half-hour struck, he
passed his hand across his forehead, and then got up hastily and
dressed himself with even more than his usual care, giving a good
deal of attention to the choice of his necktie and scarf-pin and
changing his rings more than once. He spent a long time also over
breakfast, tasting the various dishes, talking to his valet about
some new liveries that he was thinking of getting made for the
servants at Selby, and going through his correspondence. At some
of the letters, he smiled. Three of them bored him. One he read
several times over and then tore up with a slight look of
annoyance in his face. “That awful thing, a woman’s
memory!” as Lord Henry had once said. |
|
[14.7] After he had drunk his cup of
black coffee, he wiped his lips slowly with a napkin, motioned to
his servant to wait, and going over to the table, sat down and
wrote two letters. One he put in his pocket, the other he handed
to the valet. |
|
[14.8] “Take this round to 152,
Hertford Street, Francis, and if Mr. Campbell is out of town, get
his address.” |
|
[14.9] As soon as he was alone, he
lit a cigarette and began sketching upon a piece of paper,
drawing first flowers and bits of architecture, and then human
faces. Suddenly he remarked that every face that he drew seemed
to have a fantastic likeness to Basil Hallward. He frowned, and
getting up, went over to the book-case and took out a volume at
hazard. He was determined that he would not think about what had
happened until it became absolutely necessary that he should do
so. |
|
[14.10] When he had stretched himself
on the sofa, he looked at the title-page of the book. It was
Gautier’s “Émaux et Camées,”
Charpentier’s Japanese-paper edition, with the Jacquemart
etching. The binding was of citron-green leather, with a design
of gilt trellis-work and dotted pomegranates. It had been given
to him by Adrian Singleton. As he turned over the pages, his eye
fell on the poem about the hand of Lacenaire, the cold yellow
hand “du supplice encore mal lavée,”
with its downy red hairs and its “doigts de
faune.” He glanced at his own white taper fingers,
shuddering slightly in spite of himself, and passed on, till he
came to those lovely stanzas upon Venice: |
|
|
Les dômes, sur l’azur des ondes
Suivant la phrase au pur contour,
S’enflent comme des gorges rondes
Que soulève un soupir d’amour. |
|
L’esquif aborde et me dépose,
Jetant son amarre au pilier,
Devant une façade rose,
Sur le marbre d’un escalier. |
|
[14.11] How exquisite they were! As
one read them, one seemed to be floating down the green
water-ways of the pink and pearl city, seated in a black gondola
with silver prow and trailing curtains. The mere lines looked to
him like those straight lines of turquoise-blue that follow one
as one pushes out to the Lido. The sudden flashes of colour
reminded him of the gleam of the opal-and-iris-throated birds
that flutter round the tall honeycombed Campanile, or stalk, with
such stately grace, through the dim, dust-stained arcades.
Leaning back with half-closed eyes, he kept saying over and over
to himself: |
|
|
The whole of Venice was in those two lines. He remembered the
autumn that he had passed there, and a wonderful love that had
stirred him to mad delightful follies. There was romance in every
place. But Venice, like Oxford, had kept the background for
romance, and, to the true romantic, background was everything, or
almost everything. Basil had been with him part of the time, and
had gone wild over Tintoret. Poor Basil! What a horrible way for
a man to die! |
|
[14.12] He sighed, and took up the
volume again, and tried to forget. He read of the swallows that
fly in and out of the little café at Smyrna where
the Hadjis sit counting their amber beads and the turbaned
merchants smoke their long tasselled pipes and talk gravely to
each other; he read of the Obelisk in the Place de la Concorde
that weeps tears of granite in its lonely sunless exile and longs
to be back by the hot, lotus-covered Nile, where there are
Sphinxes, and rose-red ibises, and white vultures with gilded
claws, and crocodiles with small beryl eyes that crawl over the
green steaming mud; he began to brood over those verses which,
drawing music from kiss-stained marble, tell of that curious
statue that Gautier compares to a contralto voice, the
“monstre charmant” that couches in the
porphyry-room of the Louvre. But after a time the book fell from
his hand. He grew nervous, and a horrible fit of terror came over
him. What if Alan Campbell should be out of England? Days would
elapse before he could come back. Perhaps he might refuse to
come. What could he do then? Every moment was of vital
importance. |
|
[14.13] They had been great friends
once, five years before—almost inseparable, indeed. Then
the intimacy had come suddenly to an end. When they met in
society now, it was only Dorian Gray who smiled: Alan Campbell
never did. |
|
[14.14] He was an extremely clever
young man, though he had no real appreciation of the visible
arts, and whatever little sense of the beauty of poetry he
possessed he had gained entirely from Dorian. His dominant
intellectual passion was for science. At Cambridge he had spent a
great deal of his time working in the laboratory, and had taken a
good class in the Natural Science Tripos of his year. Indeed, he
was still devoted to the study of chemistry, and had a laboratory
of his own in which he used to shut himself up all day long,
greatly to the annoyance of his mother, who had set her heart on
his standing for Parliament and had a vague idea that a chemist
was a person who made up prescriptions. He was an excellent
musician, however, as well, and played both the violin and the
piano better than most amateurs. In fact, it was music that had
first brought him and Dorian Gray together—music and that
indefinable attraction that Dorian seemed to be able to exercise
whenever he wished—and, indeed, exercised often without
being conscious of it. They had met at Lady Berkshire’s the night
that Rubinstein played there, and after that used to be always
seen together at the opera and wherever good music was going on.
For eighteen months their intimacy lasted. Campbell was always
either at Selby Royal or in Grosvenor Square. To him, as to many
others, Dorian Gray was the type of everything that is wonderful
and fascinating in life. Whether or not a quarrel had taken place
between them no one ever knew. But suddenly people remarked that
they scarcely spoke when they met and that Campbell seemed always
to go away early from any party at which Dorian Gray was present.
He had changed, too—was strangely melancholy at times,
appeared almost to dislike hearing music, and would never himself
play, giving as his excuse, when he was called upon, that he was
so absorbed in science that he had no time left in which to
practise. And this was certainly true. Every day he seemed to
become more interested in biology, and his name appeared once or
twice in some of the scientific reviews in connection with
certain curious experiments. |
|
[14.15] This was the man Dorian Gray
was waiting for. Every second he kept glancing at the clock. As
the minutes went by he became horribly agitated. At last he got
up and began to pace up and down the room, looking like a
beautiful caged thing. He took long stealthy strides. His hands
were curiously cold. |
|
[14.16] The suspense became
unbearable. Time seemed to him to be crawling with feet of lead,
while he by monstrous winds was being swept towards the jagged
edge of some black cleft of precipice. He knew what was waiting
for him there; saw it, indeed, and, shuddering, crushed with dank
hands his burning lids as though he would have robbed the very
brain of sight and driven the eyeballs back into their cave. It
was useless. The brain had its own food on which it battened, and
the imagination, made grotesque by terror, twisted and distorted
as a living thing by pain, danced like some foul puppet on a
stand and grinned through moving masks. Then, suddenly, time
stopped for him. Yes: that blind, slow-breathing thing crawled no
more, and horrible thoughts, time being dead, raced nimbly on in
front, and dragged a hideous future from its grave, and showed it
to him. He stared at it. Its very horror made him stone. |
|
[14.17] At last the door opened and
his servant entered. He turned glazed eyes upon him. |
|
[14.18] “Mr. Campbell,
sir,” said the man. |
|
[14.19] A sigh of relief broke from
his parched lips, and the colour came back to his cheeks. |
|
[14.20] “Ask him to come in at
once, Francis.” He felt that he was himself again. His mood
of cowardice had passed away. |
|
[14.21] The man bowed and retired. In
a few moments, Alan Campbell walked in, looking very stern and
rather pale, his pallor being intensified by his coal-black hair
and dark eyebrows. |
|
[14.22] “Alan! This is kind of
you. I thank you for coming.” |
|
[14.23] “I had intended never
to enter your house again, Gray. But you said it was a matter of
life and death.” His voice was hard and cold. He spoke with
slow deliberation. There was a look of contempt in the steady
searching gaze that he turned on Dorian. He kept his hands in the
pockets of his Astrakhan coat, and seemed not to have noticed the
gesture with which he had been greeted. |
|
[14.24] “Yes: it is a matter of
life and death, Alan, and to more than one person. Sit
down.” |
|
[14.25] Campbell took a chair by the
table, and Dorian sat opposite to him. The two men’s eyes met. In
Dorian’s there was infinite pity. He knew that what he was going
to do was dreadful. |
|
[14.26] After a strained moment of
silence, he leaned across and said, very quietly, but watching
the effect of each word upon the face of him he had sent for,
“Alan, in a locked room at the top of this house, a room to
which nobody but myself has access, a dead man is seated at a
table. He has been dead ten hours now. Don’t stir, and don’t look
at me like that. Who the man is, why he died, how he died, are
matters that do not concern you. What you have to do is
this——” |
|
[14.27] “Stop, Gray. I don’t
want to know anything further. Whether what you have told me is
true or not true doesn’t concern me. I entirely decline to be
mixed up in your life. Keep your horrible secrets to yourself.
They don’t interest me any more.” |
|
[14.28] “Alan, they will have
to interest you. This one will have to interest you. I am awfully
sorry for you, Alan. But I can’t help myself. You are the one man
who is able to save me. I am forced to bring you into the matter.
I have no option. Alan, you are scientific. You know about
chemistry and things of that kind. You have made experiments.
What you have got to do is to destroy the thing that is
upstairs—to destroy it so that not a vestige of it will be
left. Nobody saw this person come into the house. Indeed, at the
present moment he is supposed to be in Paris. He will not be
missed for months. When he is missed, there must be no trace of
him found here. You, Alan, you must change him, and everything
that belongs to him, into a handful of ashes that I may scatter
in the air.” |
|
[14.29] “You are mad,
Dorian.” |
|
[14.30] “Ah! I was waiting for
you to call me Dorian.” |
|
[14.31] “You are mad, I tell
you—mad to imagine that I would raise a finger to help you,
mad to make this monstrous confession. I will have nothing to do
with this matter, whatever it is. Do you think I am going to
peril my reputation for you? What is it to me what devil’s work
you are up to?” |
|
[14.32] “It was suicide,
Alan.” |
|
[14.33] “I am glad of that. But
who drove him to it? You, I should fancy.” |
|
[14.34] “Do you still refuse to
do this for me?” |
|
[14.35] “Of course I refuse. I
will have absolutely nothing to do with it. I don’t care what
shame comes on you. You deserve it all. I should not be sorry to
see you disgraced, publicly disgraced. How dare you ask me, of
all men in the world, to mix myself up in this horror? I should
have thought you knew more about people’s characters. Your friend
Lord Henry Wotton can’t have taught you much about psychology,
whatever else he has taught you. Nothing will induce me to stir a
step to help you. You have come to the wrong man. Go to some of
your friends. Don’t come to me.” |
|
[14.36] “Alan, it was murder. I
killed him. You don’t know what he had made me suffer. Whatever
my life is, he had more to do with the making or the marring of
it than poor Harry has had. He may not have intended it, the
result was the same.” |
|
[14.37] “Murder! Good God,
Dorian, is that what you have come to? I shall not inform upon
you. It is not my business. Besides, without my stirring in the
matter, you are certain to be arrested. Nobody ever commits a
crime without doing something stupid. But I will have nothing to
do with it.” |
|
[14.38] “You must have
something to do with it. Wait, wait a moment; listen to me. Only
listen, Alan. All I ask of you is to perform a certain scientific
experiment. You go to hospitals and dead-houses, and the horrors
that you do there don’t affect you. If in some hideous
dissecting-room or fetid laboratory you found this man lying on a
leaden table with red gutters scooped out in it for the blood to
flow through, you would simply look upon him as an admirable
subject. You would not turn a hair. You would not believe that
you were doing anything wrong. On the contrary, you would
probably feel that you were benefiting the human race, or
increasing the sum of knowledge in the world, or gratifying
intellectual curiosity, or something of that kind. What I want
you to do is merely what you have often done before. Indeed, to
destroy a body must be far less horrible than what you are
accustomed to work at. And, remember, it is the only piece of
evidence against me. If it is discovered, I am lost; and it is
sure to be discovered unless you help me.” |
|
[14.39] “I have no desire to
help you. You forget that. I am simply indifferent to the whole
thing. It has nothing to do with me.” |
|
[14.40] “Alan, I entreat you.
Think of the position I am in. Just before you came I almost
fainted with terror. You may know terror yourself some day. No!
don’t think of that. Look at the matter purely from the
scientific point of view. You don’t inquire where the dead things
on which you experiment come from. Don’t inquire now. I have told
you too much as it is. But I beg of you to do this. We were
friends once, Alan.” |
|
[14.41] “Don’t speak about
those days, Dorian—they are dead.” |
|
[14.42] “The dead linger
sometimes. The man upstairs will not go away. He is sitting at
the table with bowed head and outstretched arms. Alan! Alan! If
you don’t come to my assistance, I am ruined. Why, they will hang
me, Alan! Don’t you understand? They will hang me for what I have
done.” |
|
[14.43] “There is no good in
prolonging this scene. I absolutely refuse to do anything in the
matter. It is insane of you to ask me.” |
|
[14.44] “You refuse?” |
|
[14.45] “Yes.” |
|
[14.46] “I entreat you,
Alan.” |
|
[14.47] “It is
useless.” |
|
[14.48] The same look of pity came
into Dorian Gray’s eyes. Then he stretched out his hand, took a
piece of paper, and wrote something on it. He read it over twice,
folded it carefully, and pushed it across the table. Having done
this, he got up and went over to the window. |
|
[14.49] Campbell looked at him in
surprise, and then took up the paper, and opened it. As he read
it, his face became ghastly pale and he fell back in his chair. A
horrible sense of sickness came over him. He felt as if his heart
was beating itself to death in some empty hollow. |
|
[14.50] After two or three minutes of
terrible silence, Dorian turned round and came and stood behind
him, putting his hand upon his shoulder. |
|
[14.51] “I am so sorry for you,
Alan,” he murmured, “but you leave me no alternative.
I have a letter written already. Here it is. You see the address.
If you don’t help me, I must send it. If you don’t help me, I
will send it. You know what the result will be. But you are going
to help me. It is impossible for you to refuse now. I tried to
spare you. You will do me the justice to admit that. You were
stern, harsh, offensive. You treated me as no man has ever dared
to treat me—no living man, at any rate. I bore it all. Now
it is for me to dictate terms.” |
|
[14.52] Campbell buried his face in
his hands, and a shudder passed through him. |
|
[14.53] “Yes, it is my turn to
dictate terms, Alan. You know what they are. The thing is quite
simple. Come, don’t work yourself into this fever. The thing has
to be done. Face it, and do it.” |
|
[14.54] A groan broke from Campbell’s
lips and he shivered all over. The ticking of the clock on the
mantelpiece seemed to him to be dividing time into separate atoms
of agony, each of which was too terrible to be borne. He felt as
if an iron ring was being slowly tightened round his forehead, as
if the disgrace with which he was threatened had already come
upon him. The hand upon his shoulder weighed like a hand of lead.
It was intolerable. It seemed to crush him. |
|
[14.55] “Come, Alan, you must
decide at once.” |
|
[14.56] “I cannot do it,”
he said, mechanically, as though words could alter things. |
|
[14.57] “You must. You have no
choice. Don’t delay.” |
|
[14.58] He hesitated a moment.
“Is there a fire in the room upstairs?” |
|
[14.59] “Yes, there is a
gas-fire with asbestos.” |
|
[14.60] “I shall have to go
home and get some things from the laboratory.” |
|
[14.61] “No, Alan, you must not
leave the house. Write out on a sheet of notepaper what you want
and my servant will take a cab and bring the things back to
you.” |
|
[14.62] Campbell scrawled a few
lines, blotted them, and addressed an envelope to his assistant.
Dorian took the note up and read it carefully. Then he rang the
bell and gave it to his valet, with orders to return as soon as
possible and to bring the things with him. |
|
[14.63] As the hall door shut,
Campbell started nervously, and having got up from the chair,
went over to the chimney-piece. He was shivering with a kind of
ague. For nearly twenty minutes, neither of the men spoke. A fly
buzzed noisily about the room, and the ticking of the clock was
like the beat of a hammer. |
|
[14.64] As the chime struck one,
Campbell turned round, and looking at Dorian Gray, saw that his
eyes were filled with tears. There was something in the purity
and refinement of that sad face that seemed to enrage him.
“You are infamous, absolutely infamous!” he
muttered. |
|
[14.65] “Hush, Alan. You have
saved my life,” said Dorian. |
|
[14.66] “Your life? Good
heavens! what a life that is! You have gone from corruption to
corruption, and now you have culminated in crime. In doing what I
am going to do—what you force me to do—it is not of
your life that I am thinking.” |
|
[14.67] “Ah, Alan,”
murmured Dorian with a sigh, “I wish you had a thousandth
part of the pity for me that I have for you.” He turned
away as he spoke and stood looking out at the garden. Campbell
made no answer. |
|
[14.68] After about ten minutes a
knock came to the door, and the servant entered, carrying a large
mahogany chest of chemicals, with a long coil of steel and
platinum wire and two rather curiously shaped iron clamps. |
|
[14.69] “Shall I leave the
things here, sir?” he asked Campbell. |
|
[14.70] “Yes,” said
Dorian. “And I am afraid, Francis, that I have another
errand for you. What is the name of the man at Richmond who
supplies Selby with orchids?” |
|
[14.71] “Harden,
sir.” |
|
[14.72] “Yes—Harden. You
must go down to Richmond at once, see Harden personally, and tell
him to send twice as many orchids as I ordered, and to have as
few white ones as possible. In fact, I don’t want any white ones.
It is a lovely day, Francis, and Richmond is a very pretty
place—otherwise I wouldn’t bother you about it.” |
|
[14.73] “No trouble, sir. At
what time shall I be back?” |
|
[14.74] Dorian looked at Campbell.
“How long will your experiment take, Alan?” he said
in a calm indifferent voice. The presence of a third person in
the room seemed to give him extraordinary courage. |
|
[14.75] Campbell frowned and bit his
lip. “It will take about five hours,” he
answered. |
|
[14.76] “It will be time
enough, then, if you are back at half-past seven, Francis. Or
stay: just leave my things out for dressing. You can have the
evening to yourself. I am not dining at home, so I shall not want
you.” |
|
[14.77] “Thank you, sir,”
said the man, leaving the room. |
|
[14.78] “Now, Alan, there is
not a moment to be lost. How heavy this chest is! I’ll take it
for you. You bring the other things.” He spoke rapidly and
in an authoritative manner. Campbell felt dominated by him. They
left the room together. |
|
[14.79] When they reached the top
landing, Dorian took out the key and turned it in the lock. Then
he stopped, and a troubled look came into his eyes. He shuddered.
“I don’t think I can go in, Alan,” he murmured. |
|
[14.80] “It is nothing to me. I
don’t require you,” said Campbell coldly. |
|
[14.81] Dorian half opened the door.
As he did so, he saw the face of his portrait leering in the
sunlight. On the floor in front of it the torn curtain was lying.
He remembered that the night before he had forgotten, for the
first time in his life, to hide the fatal canvas, and was about
to rush forward, when he drew back with a shudder. |
|
[14.82] What was that loathsome red
dew that gleamed, wet and glistening, on one of the hands, as
though the canvas had sweated blood? How horrible it
was!—more horrible, it seemed to him for the moment, than
the silent thing that he knew was stretched across the table, the
thing whose grotesque misshapen shadow on the spotted carpet
showed him that it had not stirred, but was still there, as he
had left it. |
|
[14.83] He heaved a deep breath,
opened the door a little wider, and with half-closed eyes and
averted head, walked quickly in, determined that he would not
look even once upon the dead man. Then, stooping down and taking
up the gold-and-purple hanging, he flung it right over the
picture. |
|
[14.84] There he stopped, feeling
afraid to turn round, and his eyes fixed themselves on the
intricacies of the pattern before him. He heard Campbell bringing
in the heavy chest, and the irons, and the other things that he
had required for his dreadful work. He began to wonder if he and
Basil Hallward had ever met, and, if so, what they had thought of
each other. |
|
[14.85] “Leave me now,”
said a stern voice behind him. |
|
[14.86] He turned and hurried out,
just conscious that the dead man had been thrust back into the
chair and that Campbell was gazing into a glistening yellow face.
As he was going downstairs, he heard the key being turned in the
lock. |
|
[14.87] It was long after seven when
Campbell came back into the library. He was pale, but absolutely
calm. “I have done what you asked me to do,” he
muttered “And now, good-bye. Let us never see each other
again.” |
|
[14.88] “You have saved me from
ruin, Alan. I cannot forget that,” said Dorian simply. |
|
[14.89] As soon as Campbell had left,
he went upstairs. There was a horrible smell of nitric acid in
the room. But the thing that had been sitting at the table was
gone. |
|
|
|
Chapter 15 |
|
[15.1] That evening, at eight-thirty,
exquisitely dressed and wearing a large button-hole of Parma
violets, Dorian Gray was ushered into Lady Narborough’s
drawing-room by bowing servants. His forehead was throbbing with
maddened nerves, and he felt wildly excited, but his manner as he
bent over his hostess’s hand was as easy and graceful as ever.
Perhaps one never seems so much at one’s ease as when one has to
play a part. Certainly no one looking at Dorian Gray that night
could have believed that he had passed through a tragedy as
horrible as any tragedy of our age. Those finely shaped fingers
could never have clutched a knife for sin, nor those smiling lips
have cried out on God and goodness. He himself could not help
wondering at the calm of his demeanour, and for a moment felt
keenly the terrible pleasure of a double life. |
|
[15.2] It was a small party, got up
rather in a hurry by Lady Narborough, who was a very clever woman
with what Lord Henry used to describe as the remains of really
remarkable ugliness. She had proved an excellent wife to one of
our most tedious ambassadors, and having buried her husband
properly in a marble mausoleum, which she had herself designed,
and married off her daughters to some rich, rather elderly men,
she devoted herself now to the pleasures of French fiction,
French cookery, and French esprit when she could get
it. |
|
[15.3] Dorian was one of her especial
favourites, and she always told him that she was extremely glad
she had not met him in early life. “I know, my dear, I
should have fallen madly in love with you,” she used to
say, “and thrown my bonnet right over the mills for your
sake. It is most fortunate that you were not thought of at the
time. As it was, our bonnets were so unbecoming, and the mills
were so occupied in trying to raise the wind, that I never had
even a flirtation with anybody. However, that was all
Narborough’s fault. He was dreadfully short-sighted, and there is
no pleasure in taking in a husband who never sees
anything.” |
|
[15.4] Her guests this evening were
rather tedious. The fact was, as she explained to Dorian, behind
a very shabby fan, one of her married daughters had come up quite
suddenly to stay with her, and, to make matters worse, had
actually brought her husband with her. “I think it is most
unkind of her, my dear,” she whispered. “Of course I
go and stay with them every summer after I come from Homburg, but
then an old woman like me must have fresh air sometimes, and
besides, I really wake them up. You don’t know what an existence
they lead down there. It is pure unadulterated country life. They
get up early, because they have so much to do, and go to bed
early, because they have so little to think about. There has not
been a scandal in the neighbourhood since the time of Queen
Elizabeth, and consequently they all fall asleep after dinner.
You shan’t sit next either of them. You shall sit by me and amuse
me.” |
|
[15.5] Dorian murmured a graceful
compliment and looked round the room. Yes: it was certainly a
tedious party. Two of the people he had never seen before, and
the others consisted of Ernest Harrowden, one of those
middle-aged mediocrities so common in London clubs who have no
enemies, but are thoroughly disliked by their friends; Lady
Ruxton, an overdressed woman of forty-seven, with a hooked nose,
who was always trying to get herself compromised, but was so
peculiarly plain that to her great disappointment no one would
ever believe anything against her; Mrs. Erlynne, a pushing
nobody, with a delightful lisp and Venetian-red hair; Lady Alice
Chapman, his hostess’s daughter, a dowdy dull girl, with one of
those characteristic British faces that, once seen, are never
remembered; and her husband, a red-cheeked, white-whiskered
creature who, like so many of his class, was under the impression
that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of
ideas. |
|
[15.6] He was rather sorry he had
come, till Lady Narborough, looking at the great ormolu gilt
clock that sprawled in gaudy curves on the mauve-draped
mantelshelf, exclaimed: “How horrid of Henry Wotton to be
so late! I sent round to him this morning on chance and he
promised faithfully not to disappoint me.” |
|
[15.7] It was some consolation that
Harry was to be there, and when the door opened and he heard his
slow musical voice lending charm to some insincere apology, he
ceased to feel bored. |
|
[15.8] But at dinner he could not eat
anything. Plate after plate went away untasted. Lady Narborough
kept scolding him for what she called “an insult to poor
Adolphe, who invented the menu specially for you,”
and now and then Lord Henry looked across at him, wondering at
his silence and abstracted manner. From time to time the butler
filled his glass with champagne. He drank eagerly, and his thirst
seemed to increase. |
|
[15.9] “Dorian,” said
Lord Henry at last, as the chaud-froid was being handed
round, “what is the matter with you to-night? You are quite
out of sorts.” |
|
[15.10] “I believe he is in
love,” cried Lady Narborough, “and that he is afraid
to tell me for fear I should be jealous. He is quite right. I
certainly should.” |
|
[15.11] “Dear Lady
Narborough,” murmured Dorian, smiling, “I have not
been in love for a whole week—not, in fact, since Madame de
Ferrol left town.” |
|
[15.12] “How you men can fall
in love with that woman!” exclaimed the old lady. “I
really cannot understand it.” |
|
[15.13] “It is simply because
she remembers you when you were a little girl, Lady
Narborough,” said Lord Henry. “She is the one link
between us and your short frocks.” |
|
[15.14] “She does not remember
my short frocks at all, Lord Henry. But I remember her very well
at Vienna thirty years ago, and how
décolletée she was then.” |
|
[15.15] “She is still
décolletée,” he answered, taking an
olive in his long fingers; “and when she is in a very smart
gown she looks like an édition de luxe of a bad
French novel. She is really wonderful, and full of surprises. Her
capacity for family affection is extraordinary. When her third
husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief.” |
|
[15.16] “How can you,
Harry!” cried Dorian. |
|
[15.17] “It is a most romantic
explanation,” laughed the hostess. “But her third
husband, Lord Henry! You don’t mean to say Ferrol is the
fourth?” |
|
[15.18] “Certainly, Lady
Narborough.” |
|
[15.19] “I don’t believe a word
of it.” |
|
[15.20] “Well, ask Mr. Gray. He
is one of her most intimate friends.” |
|
[15.21] “Is it true, Mr.
Gray?” |
|
[15.22] “She assures me so,
Lady Narborough,” said Dorian. “I asked her whether,
like Marguerite de Navarre, she had their hearts embalmed and
hung at her girdle. She told me she didn’t, because none of them
had had any hearts at all.” |
|
[15.23] “Four husbands! Upon my
word that is trop de zêle.” |
|
[15.24] “Trop
d’audace, I tell her,” said Dorian. |
|
[15.25] “Oh! she is audacious
enough for anything, my dear. And what is Ferrol like? I don’t
know him.” |
|
[15.26] “The husbands of very
beautiful women belong to the criminal classes,” said Lord
Henry, sipping his wine. |
|
[15.27] Lady Narborough hit him with
her fan. “Lord Henry, I am not at all surprised that the
world says that you are extremely wicked.” |
|
[15.28] “But what world says
that?” asked Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows. “It
can only be the next world. This world and I are on excellent
terms.” |
|
[15.29] “Everybody I know says
you are very wicked,” cried the old lady, shaking her
head. |
|
[15.30] Lord Henry looked serious for
some moments. “It is perfectly monstrous,” he said,
at last, “the way people go about nowadays saying things
against one behind one’s back that are absolutely and entirely
true.” |
|
[15.31] “Isn’t he
incorrigible?” cried Dorian, leaning forward in his
chair. |
|
[15.32] “I hope so,” said
his hostess, laughing. “But really, if you all worship
Madame de Ferrol in this ridiculous way, I shall have to marry
again so as to be in the fashion.” |
|
[15.33] “You will never marry
again, Lady Narborough,” broke in Lord Henry. “You
were far too happy. When a woman marries again, it is because she
detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is
because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk
theirs.” |
|
[15.34] “Narborough wasn’t
perfect,” cried the old lady. |
|
[15.35] “If he had been, you
would not have loved him, my dear lady,” was the rejoinder.
“Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them,
they will forgive us everything, even our intellects. You will
never ask me to dinner again after saying this, I am afraid, Lady
Narborough, but it is quite true.” |
|
[15.36] “Of course it is true,
Lord Henry. If we women did not love you for your defects, where
would you all be? Not one of you would ever be married. You would
be a set of unfortunate bachelors. Not, however, that that would
alter you much. Nowadays all the married men live like bachelors,
and all the bachelors like married men.” |
|
[15.37] “Fin de
siècle,” murmured Lord Henry. |
|
[15.38] “Fin du
globe,” answered his hostess. |
|
[15.39] “I wish it were fin
du globe,” said Dorian with a sigh. “Life is a
great disappointment.” |
|
[15.40] “Ah, my dear,”
cried Lady Narborough, putting on her gloves, “don’t tell
me that you have exhausted life. When a man says that one knows
that life has exhausted him. Lord Henry is very wicked, and I
sometimes wish that I had been; but you are made to be
good—you look so good. I must find you a nice wife. Lord
Henry, don’t you think that Mr. Gray should get
married?” |
|
[15.41] “I am always telling
him so, Lady Narborough,” said Lord Henry with a bow. |
|
[15.42] “Well, we must look out
for a suitable match for him. I shall go through Debrett
carefully to-night and draw out a list of all the eligible young
ladies.” |
|
[15.43] “With their ages, Lady
Narborough?” asked Dorian. |
|
[15.44] “Of course, with their
ages, slightly edited. But nothing must be done in a hurry. I
want it to be what The Morning Post calls a suitable
alliance, and I want you both to be happy.” |
|
[15.45] “What nonsense people
talk about happy marriages!” exclaimed Lord Henry. “A
man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love
her.” |
|
[15.46] “Ah! what a cynic you
are!” cried the old lady, pushing back her chair and
nodding to Lady Ruxton. “You must come and dine with me
soon again. You are really an admirable tonic, much better than
what Sir Andrew prescribes for me. You must tell me what people
you would like to meet, though. I want it to be a delightful
gathering.” |
|
[15.47] “I like men who have a
future and women who have a past,” he answered. “Or
do you think that would make it a petticoat party?” |
|
[15.48] “I fear so,” she
said, laughing, as she stood up. “A thousand pardons, my
dear Lady Ruxton,” she added, “I didn’t see you
hadn’t finished your cigarette.” |
|
[15.49] “Never mind, Lady
Narborough. I smoke a great deal too much. I am going to limit
myself, for the future.” |
|
[15.50] “Pray don’t, Lady
Ruxton,” said Lord Henry. “Moderation is a fatal
thing. Enough is as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as
a feast.” |
|
[15.51] Lady Ruxton glanced at him
curiously. “You must come and explain that to me some
afternoon, Lord Henry. It sounds a fascinating theory,” she
murmured, as she swept out of the room. |
|
[15.52] “Now, mind you don’t
stay too long over your politics and scandal,” cried Lady
Narborough from the door. “If you do, we are sure to
squabble upstairs.” |
|
[15.53] The men laughed, and Mr.
Chapman got up solemnly from the foot of the table and came up to
the top. Dorian Gray changed his seat and went and sat by Lord
Henry. Mr. Chapman began to talk in a loud voice about the
situation in the House of Commons. He guffawed at his
adversaries. The word doctrinaire—word full of
terror to the British mind—reappeared from time to time
between his explosions. An alliterative prefix served as an
ornament of oratory. He hoisted the Union Jack on the pinnacles
of thought. The inherited stupidity of the race—sound
English common sense he jovially termed it—was shown to be
the proper bulwark for society. |
|
[15.54] A smile curved Lord Henry’s
lips, and he turned round and looked at Dorian. |
|
[15.55] “Are you better, my
dear fellow?” he asked. “You seemed rather out of
sorts at dinner.” |
|
[15.56] “I am quite well,
Harry. I am tired. That is all.” |
|
[15.57] “You were charming last
night. The little duchess is quite devoted to you. She tells me
she is going down to Selby.” |
|
[15.58] “She has promised to
come on the twentieth.” |
|
[15.59] “Is Monmouth to be
there, too?” |
|
[15.60] “Oh, yes,
Harry.” |
|
[15.61] “He bores me
dreadfully, almost as much as he bores her. She is very clever,
too clever for a woman. She lacks the indefinable charm of
weakness. It is the feet of clay that make the gold of the image
precious. Her feet are very pretty, but they are not feet of
clay. White porcelain feet, if you like. They have been through
the fire, and what fire does not destroy, it hardens. She has had
experiences.” |
|
[15.62] “How long has she been
married?” asked Dorian. |
|
[15.63] “An eternity, she tells
me. I believe, according to the peerage, it is ten years, but ten
years with Monmouth must have been like eternity, with time
thrown in. Who else is coming?” |
|
[15.64] “Oh, the Willoughbys,
Lord Rugby and his wife, our hostess, Geoffrey Clouston, the
usual set. I have asked Lord Grotrian.” |
|
[15.65] “I like him,”
said Lord Henry. “A great many people don’t, but I find him
charming. He atones for being occasionally somewhat overdressed
by being always absolutely over-educated. He is a very modern
type.” |
|
[15.66] “I don’t know if he
will be able to come, Harry. He may have to go to Monte Carlo
with his father.” |
|
[15.67] “Ah! what a nuisance
people’s people are! Try and make him come. By the way, Dorian,
you ran off very early last night. You left before eleven. What
did you do afterwards? Did you go straight home?” |
|
[15.68] Dorian glanced at him
hurriedly and frowned. |
|
[15.69] “No, Harry,” he
said at last, “I did not get home till nearly
three.” |
|
[15.70] “Did you go to the
club?” |
|
[15.71] “Yes,” he
answered. Then he bit his lip. “No, I don’t mean that. I
didn’t go to the club. I walked about. I forget what I
did. . . . How inquisitive you are, Harry! You
always want to know what one has been doing. I always want to
forget what I have been doing. I came in at half-past two, if you
wish to know the exact time. I had left my latch-key at home, and
my servant had to let me in. If you want any corroborative
evidence on the subject, you can ask him.” |
|
[15.72] Lord Henry shrugged his
shoulders. “My dear fellow, as if I cared! Let us go up to
the drawing-room. No sherry, thank you, Mr. Chapman. Something
has happened to you, Dorian. Tell me what it is. You are not
yourself to-night.” |
|
[15.73] “Don’t mind me, Harry.
I am irritable, and out of temper. I shall come round and see you
to-morrow, or next day. Make my excuses to Lady Narborough. I
shan’t go upstairs. I shall go home. I must go home.” |
|
[15.74] “All right, Dorian. I
dare say I shall see you to-morrow at tea-time. The duchess is
coming.” |
|
[15.75] “I will try to be
there, Harry,” he said, leaving the room. As he drove back
to his own house, he was conscious that the sense of terror he
thought he had strangled had come back to him. Lord Henry’s
casual questioning had made him lose his nerve for the moment,
and he wanted his nerve still. Things that were dangerous had to
be destroyed. He winced. He hated the idea of even touching
them. |
|
[15.76] Yet it had to be done. He
realized that, and when he had locked the door of his library, he
opened the secret press into which he had thrust Basil Hallward’s
coat and bag. A huge fire was blazing. He piled another log on
it. The smell of the singeing clothes and burning leather was
horrible. It took him three-quarters of an hour to consume
everything. At the end he felt faint and sick, and having lit
some Algerian pastilles in a pierced copper brazier, he bathed
his hands and forehead with a cool musk-scented vinegar. |
|
[15.77] Suddenly he started. His eyes
grew strangely bright, and he gnawed nervously at his underlip.
Between two of the windows stood a large Florentine cabinet, made
out of ebony and inlaid with ivory and blue lapis. He watched it
as though it were a thing that could fascinate and make afraid,
as though it held something that he longed for and yet almost
loathed. His breath quickened. A mad craving came over him. He
lit a cigarette and then threw it away. His eyelids drooped till
the long fringed lashes almost touched his cheek. But he still
watched the cabinet. At last he got up from the sofa on which he
had been lying, went over to it, and having unlocked it, touched
some hidden spring. A triangular drawer passed slowly out. His
fingers moved instinctively towards it, dipped in, and closed on
something. It was a small Chinese box of black and gold-dust
lacquer, elaborately wrought, the sides patterned with curved
waves, and the silken cords hung with round crystals and
tasselled in plaited metal threads. He opened it. Inside was a
green paste, waxy in lustre, the odour curiously heavy and
persistent. |
|
[15.78] He hesitated for some
moments, with a strangely immobile smile upon his face. Then
shivering, though the atmosphere of the room was terribly hot, he
drew himself up and glanced at the clock. It was twenty minutes
to twelve. He put the box back, shutting the cabinet doors as he
did so, and went into his bedroom. |
|
[15.79] As midnight was striking
bronze blows upon the dusky air, Dorian Gray, dressed commonly,
and with a muffler wrapped round his throat, crept quietly out of
his house. In Bond Street he found a hansom with a good horse. He
hailed it and in a low voice gave the driver an address. |
|
[15.80] The man shook his head.
“It is too far for me,” he muttered. |
|
[15.81] “Here is a sovereign
for you,” said Dorian. “You shall have another if you
drive fast.” |
|
[15.82] “All right, sir,”
answered the man, “you will be there in an hour,” and
after his fare had got in he turned his horse round and drove
rapidly towards the river. |
|
|
|
Chapter 16 |
|
[16.1] A cold rain began to fall, and
the blurred street-lamps looked ghastly in the dripping mist. The
public-houses were just closing, and dim men and women were
clustering in broken groups round their doors. From some of the
bars came the sound of horrible laughter. In others, drunkards
brawled and screamed. |
|
[16.2] Lying back in the hansom, with
his hat pulled over his forehead, Dorian Gray watched with
listless eyes the sordid shame of the great city, and now and
then he repeated to himself the words that Lord Henry had said to
him on the first day they had met, “To cure the soul by
means of the senses, and the senses by means of the soul.”
Yes, that was the secret. He had often tried it, and would try it
again now. There were opium dens where one could buy oblivion,
dens of horror where the memory of old sins could be destroyed by
the madness of sins that were new. |
|
[16.3] The moon hung low in the sky
like a yellow skull. From time to time a huge misshapen cloud
stretched a long arm across and hid it. The gas-lamps grew fewer,
and the streets more narrow and gloomy. Once the man lost his way
and had to drive back half a mile. A steam rose from the horse as
it splashed up the puddles. The sidewindows of the hansom were
clogged with a grey-flannel mist. |
|
[16.4] “To cure the soul by
means of the senses, and the senses by means of the soul!”
How the words rang in his ears! His soul, certainly, was sick to
death. Was it true that the senses could cure it? Innocent blood
had been spilled. What could atone for that? Ah! for that there
was no atonement; but though forgiveness was impossible,
forgetfulness was possible still, and he was determined to
forget, to stamp the thing out, to crush it as one would crush
the adder that had stung one. Indeed, what right had Basil to
have spoken to him as he had done? Who had made him a judge over
others? He had said things that were dreadful, horrible, not to
be endured. |
|
[16.5] On and on plodded the hansom,
going slower, it seemed to him, at each step. He thrust up the
trap and called to the man to drive faster. The hideous hunger
for opium began to gnaw at him. His throat burned and his
delicate hands twitched nervously together. He struck at the
horse madly with his stick. The driver laughed and whipped up. He
laughed in answer, and the man was silent. |
|
[16.6] The way seemed interminable,
and the streets like the black web of some sprawling spider. The
monotony became unbearable, and as the mist thickened, he felt
afraid. |
|
[16.7] Then they passed by lonely
brickfields. The fog was lighter here, and he could see the
strange, bottle-shaped kilns with their orange, fanlike tongues
of fire. A dog barked as they went by, and far away in the
darkness some wandering sea-gull screamed. The horse stumbled in
a rut, then swerved aside and broke into a gallop. |
|
[16.8] After some time they left the
clay road and rattled again over rough-paven streets. Most of the
windows were dark, but now and then fantastic shadows were
silhouetted against some lamplit blind. He watched them
curiously. They moved like monstrous marionettes and made
gestures like live things. He hated them. A dull rage was in his
heart. As they turned a corner, a woman yelled something at them
from an open door, and two men ran after the hansom for about a
hundred yards. The driver beat at them with his whip. |
|
[16.9] It is said that passion makes
one think in a circle. Certainly with hideous iteration the
bitten lips of Dorian Gray shaped and reshaped those subtle words
that dealt with soul and sense, till he had found in them the
full expression, as it were, of his mood, and justified, by
intellectual approval, passions that without such justification
would still have dominated his temper. From cell to cell of his
brain crept the one thought; and the wild desire to live, most
terrible of all man’s appetites, quickened into force each
trembling nerve and fibre. Ugliness that had once been hateful to
him because it made things real, became dear to him now for that
very reason. Ugliness was the one reality. The coarse brawl, the
loathsome den, the crude violence of disordered life, the very
vileness of thief and outcast, were more vivid, in their intense
actuality of impression, than all the gracious shapes of art, the
dreamy shadows of song. They were what he needed for
forgetfulness. In three days he would be free. |
|
[16.10] Suddenly the man drew up with
a jerk at the top of a dark lane. Over the low roofs and jagged
chimney-stacks of the houses rose the black masts of ships.
Wreaths of white mist clung like ghostly sails to the yards. |
|
[16.11] “Somewhere about here,
sir, ain’t it?” he asked huskily through the trap. |
|
[16.12] Dorian started and peered
round. “This will do,” he answered, and having got
out hastily and given the driver the extra fare he had promised
him, he walked quickly in the direction of the quay. Here and
there a lantern gleamed at the stern of some huge merchantman.
The light shook and splintered in the puddles. A red glare came
from an outward-bound steamer that was coaling. The slimy
pavement looked like a wet mackintosh. |
|
[16.13] He hurried on towards the
left, glancing back now and then to see if he was being followed.
In about seven or eight minutes he reached a small shabby house
that was wedged in between two gaunt factories. In one of the
top-windows stood a lamp. He stopped and gave a peculiar
knock. |
|
[16.14] After a little time he heard
steps in the passage and the chain being unhooked. The door
opened quietly, and he went in without saying a word to the squat
misshapen figure that flattened itself into the shadow as he
passed. At the end of the hall hung a tattered green curtain that
swayed and shook in the gusty wind which had followed him in from
the street. He dragged it aside and entered a long low room which
looked as if it had once been a third-rate dancing-saloon. Shrill
flaring gas-jets, dulled and distorted in the fly-blown mirrors
that faced them, were ranged round the walls. Greasy reflectors
of ribbed tin backed them, making quivering disks of light. The
floor was covered with ochre-coloured sawdust, trampled here and
there into mud, and stained with dark rings of spilled liquor.
Some Malays were crouching by a little charcoal stove, playing
with bone counters and showing their white teeth as they
chattered. In one corner, with his head buried in his arms, a
sailor sprawled over a table, and by the tawdrily painted bar
that ran across one complete side stood two haggard women,
mocking an old man who was brushing the sleeves of his coat with
an expression of disgust. “He thinks he’s got red ants on
him,” laughed one of them, as Dorian passed by. The man
looked at her in terror and began to whimper. |
|
[16.15] At the end of the room there
was a little staircase, leading to a darkened chamber. As Dorian
hurried up its three rickety steps, the heavy odour of opium met
him. He heaved a deep breath, and his nostrils quivered with
pleasure. When he entered, a young man with smooth yellow hair,
who was bending over a lamp lighting a long thin pipe, looked up
at him and nodded in a hesitating manner. |
|
[16.16] “You here,
Adrian?” muttered Dorian. |
|
[16.17] “Where else should I
be?” he answered, listlessly. “None of the chaps will
speak to me now.” |
|
[16.18] “I thought you had left
England.” |
|
[16.19] “Darlington is not
going to do anything. My brother paid the bill at last. George
doesn’t speak to me either. . . . I don’t
care,” he added with a sigh. “As long as one has this
stuff, one doesn’t want friends. I think I have had too many
friends.” |
|
[16.20] Dorian winced and looked
round at the grotesque things that lay in such fantastic postures
on the ragged mattresses. The twisted limbs, the gaping mouths,
the staring lustreless eyes, fascinated him. He knew in what
strange heavens they were suffering, and what dull hells were
teaching them the secret of some new joy. They were better off
than he was. He was prisoned in thought. Memory, like a horrible
malady, was eating his soul away. From time to time he seemed to
see the eyes of Basil Hallward looking at him. Yet he felt he
could not stay. The presence of Adrian Singleton troubled him. He
wanted to be where no one would know who he was. He wanted to
escape from himself. |
|
[16.21] “I am going on to the
other place,” he said after a pause. |
|
[16.22] “On the
wharf?” |
|
[16.23] “Yes.” |
|
[16.24] “That mad-cat is sure
to be there. They won’t have her in this place now.” |
|
[16.25] Dorian shrugged his
shoulders. “I am sick of women who love one. Women who hate
one are much more interesting. Besides, the stuff is
better.” |
|
[16.26] “Much the
same.” |
|
[16.27] “I like it better. Come
and have something to drink. I must have something.” |
|
[16.28] “I don’t want
anything,” murmured the young man. |
|
[16.29] “Never mind.” |
|
[16.30] Adrian Singleton rose up
wearily and followed Dorian to the bar. A half-caste, in a ragged
turban and a shabby ulster, grinned a hideous greeting as he
thrust a bottle of brandy and two tumblers in front of them. The
women sidled up and began to chatter. Dorian turned his back on
them and said something in a low voice to Adrian Singleton. |
|
[16.31] A crooked smile, like a Malay
crease, writhed across the face of one of the women. “We
are very proud to-night,” she sneered. |
|
[16.32] “For God’s sake don’t
talk to me,” cried Dorian, stamping his foot on the ground.
“What do you want? Money? Here it is. Don’t ever talk to me
again.” |
|
[16.33] Two red sparks flashed for a
moment in the woman’s sodden eyes, then flickered out and left
them dull and glazed. She tossed her head and raked the coins off
the counter with greedy fingers. Her companion watched her
enviously. |
|
[16.34] “It’s no use,”
sighed Adrian Singleton. “I don’t care to go back. What
does it matter? I am quite happy here.” |
|
[16.35] “You will write to me
if you want anything, won’t you?” said Dorian, after a
pause. |
|
[16.36] “Perhaps.” |
|
[16.37] “Good night,
then.” |
|
[16.38] “Good night,”
answered the young man, passing up the steps and wiping his
parched mouth with a handkerchief. |
|
[16.39] Dorian walked to the door
with a look of pain in his face. As he drew the curtain aside, a
hideous laugh broke from the painted lips of the woman who had
taken his money. “There goes the devil’s bargain!”
she hiccoughed, in a hoarse voice. |
|
[16.40] “Curse you!” he
answered, “don’t call me that.” |
|
[16.41] She snapped her fingers.
“Prince Charming is what you like to be called, ain’t
it?” she yelled after him. |
|
[16.42] The drowsy sailor leaped to
his feet as she spoke, and looked wildly round. The sound of the
shutting of the hall door fell on his ear. He rushed out as if in
pursuit. |
|
[16.43] Dorian Gray hurried along the
quay through the drizzling rain. His meeting with Adrian
Singleton had strangely moved him, and he wondered if the ruin of
that young life was really to be laid at his door, as Basil
Hallward had said to him with such infamy of insult. He bit his
lip, and for a few seconds his eyes grew sad. Yet, after all,
what did it matter to him? One’s days were too brief to take the
burden of another’s errors on one’s shoulders. Each man lived his
own life and paid his own price for living it. The only pity was
one had to pay so often for a single fault. One had to pay over
and over again, indeed. In her dealings with man, destiny never
closed her accounts. |
|
[16.44] There are moments,
psychologists tell us, when the passion for sin, or for what the
world calls sin, so dominates a nature that every fibre of the
body, as every cell of the brain, seems to be instinct with
fearful impulses. Men and women at such moments lose the freedom
of their will. They move to their terrible end as automatons
move. Choice is taken from them, and conscience is either killed,
or, if it lives at all, lives but to give rebellion its
fascination and disobedience its charm. For all sins, as
theologians weary not of reminding us, are sins of disobedience.
When that high spirit, that morning star of evil, fell from
heaven, it was as a rebel that he fell. |
|
[16.45] Callous, concentrated on
evil, with stained mind, and soul hungry for rebellion, Dorian
Gray hastened on, quickening his step as he went, but as he
darted aside into a dim archway, that had served him often as a
short cut to the ill-famed place where he was going, he felt
himself suddenly seized from behind, and before he had time to
defend himself, he was thrust back against the wall, with a
brutal hand round his throat. |
|
[16.46] He struggled madly for life,
and by a terrible effort wrenched the tightening fingers away. In
a second he heard the click of a revolver, and saw the gleam of a
polished barrel, pointing straight at his head, and the dusky
form of a short, thick-set man facing him. |
|
[16.47] “What do you
want?” he gasped. |
|
[16.48] “Keep quiet,”
said the man. “If you stir, I shoot you.” |
|
[16.49] “You are mad. What have
I done to you?” |
|
[16.50] “You wrecked the life
of Sibyl Vane,” was the answer, “and Sibyl Vane was
my sister. She killed herself. I know it. Her death is at your
door. I swore I would kill you in return. For years I have sought
you. I had no clue, no trace. The two people who could have
described you were dead. I knew nothing of you but the pet name
she used to call you. I heard it to-night by chance. Make your
peace with God, for to-night you are going to die.” |
|
[16.51] Dorian Gray grew sick with
fear. “I never knew her,” he stammered. “I
never heard of her. You are mad.” |
|
[16.52] “You had better confess
your sin, for as sure as I am James Vane, you are going to
die.” There was a horrible moment. Dorian did not know what
to say or do. “Down on your knees!” growled the man.
“I give you one minute to make your peace—no more. I
go on board to-night for India, and I must do my job first. One
minute. That’s all.” |
|
[16.53] Dorian’s arms fell to his
side. Paralysed with terror, he did not know what to do. Suddenly
a wild hope flashed across his brain. “Stop,” he
cried. “How long ago is it since your sister died? Quick,
tell me!” |
|
[16.54] “Eighteen years,”
said the man. “Why do you ask me? What do years
matter?” |
|
[16.55] “Eighteen years,”
laughed Dorian Gray, with a touch of triumph in his voice.
“Eighteen years! Set me under the lamp and look at my
face!” |
|
[16.56] James Vane hesitated for a
moment, not understanding what was meant. Then he seized Dorian
Gray and dragged him from the archway. |
|
[16.57] Dim and wavering as was the
wind-blown light, yet it served to show him the hideous error, as
it seemed, into which he had fallen, for the face of the man he
had sought to kill had all the bloom of boyhood, all the
unstained purity of youth. He seemed little more than a lad of
twenty summers, hardly older, if older indeed at all, than his
sister had been when they had parted so many years ago. It was
obvious that this was not the man who had destroyed her life. |
|
[16.58] He loosened his hold and
reeled back. “My God! my God!” he cried, “and I
would have murdered you!” |
|
[16.59] Dorian Gray drew a long
breath. “You have been on the brink of committing a
terrible crime, my man,” he said, looking at him sternly.
“Let this be a warning to you not to take vengeance into
your own hands.” |
|
[16.60] “Forgive me,
sir,” muttered James Vane. “I was deceived. A chance
word I heard in that damned den set me on the wrong
track.” |
|
[16.61] “You had better go home
and put that pistol away, or you may get into trouble,”
said Dorian, turning on his heel and going slowly down the
street. |
|
[16.62] James Vane stood on the
pavement in horror. He was trembling from head to foot. After a
little while, a black shadow that had been creeping along the
dripping wall moved out into the light and came close to him with
stealthy footsteps. He felt a hand laid on his arm and looked
round with a start. It was one of the women who had been drinking
at the bar. |
|
[16.63] “Why didn’t you kill
him?” she hissed out, putting haggard face quite close to
his. “I knew you were following him when you rushed out
from Daly’s. You fool! You should have killed him. He has lots of
money, and he’s as bad as bad.” |
|
[16.64] “He is not the man I am
looking for,” he answered, “and I want no man’s
money. I want a man’s life. The man whose life I want must be
nearly forty now. This one is little more than a boy. Thank God,
I have not got his blood upon my hands.” |
|
[16.65] The woman gave a bitter
laugh. “Little more than a boy!” she sneered.
“Why, man, it’s nigh on eighteen years since Prince
Charming made me what I am.” |
|
[16.66] “You lie!” cried
James Vane. |
|
[16.67] She raised her hand up to
heaven. “Before God I am telling the truth,” she
cried. |
|
[16.68] “Before God?” |
|
[16.69] “Strike me dumb if it
ain’t so. He is the worst one that comes here. They say he has
sold himself to the devil for a pretty face. It’s nigh on
eighteen years since I met him. He hasn’t changed much since
then. I have, though,” she added, with a sickly leer. |
|
[16.70] “You swear
this?” |
|
[16.71] “I swear it,”
came in hoarse echo from her flat mouth. “But don’t give me
away to him,” she whined; “I am afraid of him. Let me
have some money for my night’s lodging.” |
|
[16.72] He broke from her with an
oath and rushed to the corner of the street, but Dorian Gray had
disappeared. When he looked back, the woman had vanished
also. |
|
|
|
Chapter 17 |
|
[17.1] A week later Dorian Gray was
sitting in the conservatory at Selby Royal, talking to the pretty
Duchess of Monmouth, who with her husband, a jaded-looking man of
sixty, was amongst his guests. It was tea-time, and the mellow
light of the huge, lace-covered lamp that stood on the table lit
up the delicate china and hammered silver of the service at which
the duchess was presiding. Her white hands were moving daintily
among the cups, and her full red lips were smiling at something
that Dorian had whispered to her. Lord Henry was lying back in a
silk-draped wicker chair, looking at them. On a peach-coloured
divan sat Lady Narborough, pretending to listen to the duke’s
description of the last Brazilian beetle that he had added to his
collection. Three young men in elaborate smoking-suits were
handing tea-cakes to some of the women. The house-party consisted
of twelve people, and there were more expected to arrive on the
next day. |
|
[17.2] “What are you two
talking about?” said Lord Henry, strolling over to the
table and putting his cup down. “I hope Dorian has told you
about my plan for rechristening everything, Gladys. It is a
delightful idea.” |
|
[17.3] “But I don’t want to be
rechristened, Harry,” rejoined the duchess, looking up at
him with her wonderful eyes. “I am quite satisfied with my
own name, and I am sure Mr. Gray should be satisfied with
his.” |
|
[17.4] “My dear Gladys, I would
not alter either name for the world. They are both perfect. I was
thinking chiefly of flowers. Yesterday I cut an orchid, for my
button-hole. It was a marvellous spotted thing, as effective as
the seven deadly sins. In a thoughtless moment I asked one of the
gardeners what it was called. He told me it was a fine specimen
of Robinsoniana, or something dreadful of that kind. It
is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely
names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with
actions. My one quarrel is with words. That is the reason I hate
vulgar realism in literature. The man who could call a spade a
spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is
fit for.” |
|
[17.5] “Then what should we
call you, Harry?” she asked. |
|
[17.6] “His name is Prince
Paradox,” said Dorian. |
|
[17.7] “I recognize him in a
flash,” exclaimed the duchess. |
|
[17.8] “I won’t hear of
it,” laughed Lord Henry, sinking into a chair. “From
a label there is no escape! I refuse the title.” |
|
[17.9] “Royalties may not
abdicate,” fell as a warning from pretty lips. |
|
[17.10] “You wish me to defend
my throne, then?” |
|
[17.11] “Yes.” |
|
[17.12] “I give the truths of
to-morrow.” |
|
[17.13] “I prefer the mistakes
of to-day,” she answered. |
|
[17.14] “You disarm me,
Gladys,” he cried, catching the wilfulness of her mood. |
|
[17.15] “Of your shield, Harry,
not of your spear.” |
|
[17.16] “I never tilt against
beauty,” he said, with a wave of his hand. |
|
[17.17] “That is your error,
Harry, believe me. You value beauty far too much.” |
|
[17.18] “How can you say that?
I admit that I think that it is better to be beautiful than to be
good. But on the other hand, no one is more ready than I am to
acknowledge that it is better to be good than to be
ugly.” |
|
[17.19] “Ugliness is one of the
seven deadly sins, then?” cried the duchess. “What
becomes of your simile about the orchid?” |
|
[17.20] “Ugliness is one of the
seven deadly virtues, Gladys. You, as a good Tory, must not
underrate them. Beer, the Bible, and the seven deadly virtues
have made our England what she is.” |
|
[17.21] “You don’t like your
country, then?” she asked. |
|
[17.22] “I live in
it.” |
|
[17.23] “That you may censure
it the better.” |
|
[17.24] “Would you have me take
the verdict of Europe on it?” he inquired. |
|
[17.25] “What do they say of
us?” |
|
[17.26] “That Tartuffe has
emigrated to England and opened a shop.” |
|
[17.27] “Is that yours,
Harry?” |
|
[17.28] “I give it to
you.” |
|
[17.29] “I could not use it. It
is too true.” |
|
[17.30] “You need not be
afraid. Our countrymen never recognize a description.” |
|
[17.31] “They are
practical.” |
|
[17.32] “They are more cunning
than practical. When they make up their ledger, they balance
stupidity by wealth, and vice by hypocrisy.” |
|
[17.33] “Still, we have done
great things.” |
|
[17.34] “Great things have been
thrust on us, Gladys.” |
|
[17.35] “We have carried their
burden.” |
|
[17.36] “Only as far as the
Stock Exchange.” |
|
[17.37] She shook her head. “I
believe in the race,” she cried. |
|
[17.38] “It represents the
survival of the pushing.” |
|
[17.39] “It has
development.” |
|
[17.40] “Decay fascinates me
more.” |
|
[17.41] “What of art?”
she asked. |
|
[17.42] “It is a
malady.” |
|
[17.43] “Love?” |
|
[17.44] “An
illusion.” |
|
[17.45] “Religion?” |
|
[17.46] “The fashionable
substitute for belief.” |
|
[17.47] “You are a
sceptic.” |
|
[17.48] “Never! Scepticism is
the beginning of faith.” |
|
[17.49] “What are
you?” |
|
[17.50] “To define is to
limit.” |
|
[17.51] “Give me a
clue.” |
|
[17.52] “Threads snap. You
would lose your way in the labyrinth.” |
|
[17.53] “You bewilder me. Let
us talk of some one else.” |
|
[17.54] “Our host is a
delightful topic. Years ago he was christened Prince
Charming.” |
|
[17.55] “Ah! don’t remind me of
that,” cried Dorian Gray. |
|
[17.56] “Our host is rather
horrid this evening,” answered the duchess, colouring.
“I believe he thinks that Monmouth married me on purely
scientific principles as the best specimen he could find of a
modern butterfly.” |
|
[17.57] “Well, I hope he won’t
stick pins into you, Duchess,” laughed Dorian. |
|
[17.58] “Oh! my maid does that
already, Mr. Gray, when she is annoyed with me.” |
|
[17.59] “And what does she get
annoyed with you about, Duchess?” |
|
[17.60] “For the most trivial
things, Mr. Gray, I assure you. Usually because I come in at ten
minutes to nine and tell her that I must be dressed by half-past
eight.” |
|
[17.61] “How unreasonable of
her! You should give her warning.” |
|
[17.62] “I daren’t, Mr. Gray.
Why, she invents hats for me. You remember the one I wore at Lady
Hilstone’s garden-party? You don’t, but it is nice of you to
pretend that you do. Well, she made it out of nothing. All good
hats are made out of nothing.” |
|
[17.63] “Like all good
reputations, Gladys,” interrupted Lord Henry. “Every
effect that one produces gives one an enemy. To be popular one
must be a mediocrity.” |
|
[17.64] “Not with women,”
said the duchess, shaking her head; “and women rule the
world. I assure you we can’t bear mediocrities. We women, as some
one says, love with our ears, just as you men love with your
eyes, if you ever love at all.” |
|
[17.65] “It seems to me that we
never do anything else,” murmured Dorian. |
|
[17.66] “Ah! then, you never
really love, Mr. Gray,” answered the duchess with mock
sadness. |
|
[17.67] “My dear Gladys!”
cried Lord Henry. “How can you say that? Romance lives by
repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art.
Besides, each time that one loves is the only time one has ever
loved. Difference of object does not alter singleness of passion.
It merely intensifies it. We can have in life but one great
experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that
experience as often as possible.” |
|
[17.68] “Even when one has been
wounded by it, Harry?” asked the duchess after a pause. |
|
[17.69] “Especially when one
has been wounded by it,” answered Lord Henry. |
|
[17.70] The duchess turned and looked
at Dorian Gray with a curious expression in her eyes. “What
do you say to that, Mr. Gray?” she inquired. |
|
[17.71] Dorian hesitated for a
moment. Then he threw his head back and laughed. “I always
agree with Harry, Duchess.” |
|
[17.72] “Even when he is
wrong?” |
|
[17.73] “Harry is never wrong,
Duchess.” |
|
[17.74] “And does his
philosophy make you happy?” |
|
[17.75] “I have never searched
for happiness. Who wants happiness? I have searched for
pleasure.” |
|
[17.76] “And found it, Mr.
Gray?” |
|
[17.77] “Often. Too
often.” |
|
[17.78] The duchess sighed. “I
am searching for peace,” she said, “and if I don’t go
and dress, I shall have none this evening.” |
|
[17.79] “Let me get you some
orchids, Duchess,” cried Dorian, starting to his feet and
walking down the conservatory. |
|
[17.80] “You are flirting
disgracefully with him,” said Lord Henry to his cousin.
“You had better take care. He is very
fascinating.” |
|
[17.81] “If he were not, there
would be no battle.” |
|
[17.82] “Greek meets Greek,
then?” |
|
[17.83] “I am on the side of
the Trojans. They fought for a woman.” |
|
[17.84] “They were
defeated.” |
|
[17.85] “There are worse things
than capture,” she answered. |
|
[17.86] “You gallop with a
loose rein.” |
|
[17.87] “Pace gives
life,” was the riposte. |
|
[17.88] “I shall write it in my
diary to-night.” |
|
[17.89] “What?” |
|
[17.90] “That a burnt child
loves the fire.” |
|
[17.91] “I am not even singed.
My wings are untouched.” |
|
[17.92] “You use them for
everything, except flight.” |
|
[17.93] “Courage has passed
from men to women. It is a new experience for us.” |
|
[17.94] “You have a
rival.” |
|
[17.95] “Who?” |
|
[17.96] He laughed. “Lady
Narborough,” he whispered. “She perfectly adores
him.” |
|
[17.97] “You fill me with
apprehension. The appeal to antiquity is fatal to us who are
romanticists.” |
|
[17.98] “Romanticists! You have
all the methods of science.” |
|
[17.99] “Men have educated
us.” |
|
[17.100] “But not explained
you.” |
|
[17.101] “Describe us as a
sex,” was her challenge. |
|
[17.102] “Sphinxes without
secrets.” |
|
[17.103] She looked at him, smiling.
“How long Mr. Gray is!” she said. “Let us go
and help him. I have not yet told him the colour of my
frock.” |
|
[17.104] “Ah! you must suit
your frock to his flowers, Gladys.” |
|
[17.105] “That would be a
premature surrender.” |
|
[17.106] “Romantic art begins
with its climax.” |
|
[17.107] “I must keep an
opportunity for retreat.” |
|
[17.108] “In the Parthian
manner?” |
|
[17.109] “They found safety in
the desert. I could not do that.” |
|
[17.110] “Women are not always
allowed a choice,” he answered, but hardly had he finished
the sentence before from the far end of the conservatory came a
stifled groan, followed by the dull sound of a heavy fall.
Everybody started up. The duchess stood motionless in horror. And
with fear in his eyes, Lord Henry rushed through the flapping
palms to find Dorian Gray lying face downwards on the tiled floor
in a deathlike swoon. |
|
[17.111] He was carried at once into
the blue drawing-room and laid upon one of the sofas. After a
short time, he came to himself and looked round with a dazed
expression. |
|
[17.112] “What has
happened?” he asked. “Oh! I remember. Am I safe here,
Harry?” He began to tremble. |
|
[17.113] “My dear
Dorian,” answered Lord Henry, “you merely fainted.
That was all. You must have overtired yourself. You had better
not come down to dinner. I will take your place.” |
|
[17.114] “No, I will come
down,” he said, struggling to his feet. “I would
rather come down. I must not be alone.” |
|
[17.115] He went to his room and
dressed. There was a wild recklessness of gaiety in his manner as
he sat at table, but now and then a thrill of terror ran through
him when he remembered that, pressed against the window of the
conservatory, like a white handkerchief, he had seen the face of
James Vane watching him. |
|
|
|
Chapter 18 |
|
[18.1] The next day he did not leave
the house, and, indeed, spent most of the time in his own room,
sick with a wild terror of dying, and yet indifferent to life
itself. The consciousness of being hunted, snared, tracked down,
had begun to dominate him. If the tapestry did but tremble in the
wind, he shook. The dead leaves that were blown against the
leaded panes seemed to him like his own wasted resolutions and
wild regrets. When he closed his eyes, he saw again the sailor’s
face peering through the mist-stained glass, and horror seemed
once more to lay its hand upon his heart. |
|
[18.2] But perhaps it had been only
his fancy that had called vengeance out of the night and set the
hideous shapes of punishment before him. Actual life was chaos,
but there was something terribly logical in the imagination. It
was the imagination that set remorse to dog the feet of sin. It
was the imagination that made each crime bear its misshapen
brood. In the common world of fact the wicked were not punished,
nor the good rewarded. Success was given to the strong, failure
thrust upon the weak. That was all. Besides, had any stranger
been prowling round the house, he would have been seen by the
servants or the keepers. Had any foot-marks been found on the
flower-beds, the gardeners would have reported it. Yes, it had
been merely fancy. Sibyl Vane’s brother had not come back to kill
him. He had sailed away in his ship to founder in some winter
sea. From him, at any rate, he was safe. Why, the man did not
know who he was, could not know who he was. The mask of youth had
saved him. |
|
[18.3] And yet if it had been merely
an illusion, how terrible it was to think that conscience could
raise such fearful phantoms, and give them visible form, and make
them move before one! What sort of life would his be if, day and
night, shadows of his crime were to peer at him from silent
corners, to mock him from secret places, to whisper in his ear as
he sat at the feast, to wake him with icy fingers as he lay
asleep! As the thought crept through his brain, he grew pale with
terror, and the air seemed to him to have become suddenly colder.
Oh! in what a wild hour of madness he had killed his friend! How
ghastly the mere memory of the scene! He saw it all again. Each
hideous detail came back to him with added horror. Out of the
black cave of time, terrible and swathed in scarlet, rose the
image of his sin. When Lord Henry came in at six o’clock, he
found him crying as one whose heart will break. |
|
[18.4] It was not till the third day
that he ventured to go out. There was something in the clear,
pine-scented air of that winter morning that seemed to bring him
back his joyousness and his ardour for life. But it was not
merely the physical conditions of environment that had caused the
change. His own nature had revolted against the excess of anguish
that had sought to maim and mar the perfection of its calm. With
subtle and finely wrought temperaments it is always so. Their
strong passions must either bruise or bend. They either slay the
man, or themselves die. Shallow sorrows and shallow loves live
on. The loves and sorrows that are great are destroyed by their
own plenitude. Besides, he had convinced himself that he had been
the victim of a terror-stricken imagination, and looked back now
on his fears with something of pity and not a little of
contempt. |
|
[18.5] After breakfast, he walked
with the duchess for an hour in the garden and then drove across
the park to join the shooting-party. The crisp frost lay like
salt upon the grass. The sky was an inverted cup of blue metal. A
thin film of ice bordered the flat, reed-grown lake. |
|
[18.6] At the corner of the pine-wood
he caught sight of Sir Geoffrey Clouston, the duchess’s brother,
jerking two spent cartridges out of his gun. He jumped from the
cart, and having told the groom to take the mare home, made his
way towards his guest through the withered bracken and rough
undergrowth. |
|
[18.7] “Have you had good
sport, Geoffrey?” he asked. |
|
[18.8] “Not very good, Dorian.
I think most of the birds have gone to the open. I dare say it
will be better after lunch, when we get to new ground.” |
|
[18.9] Dorian strolled along by his
side. The keen aromatic air, the brown and red lights that
glimmered in the wood, the hoarse cries of the beaters ringing
out from time to time, and the sharp snaps of the guns that
followed, fascinated him and filled him with a sense of
delightful freedom. He was dominated by the carelessness of
happiness, by the high indifference of joy. |
|
[18.10] Suddenly from a lumpy tussock
of old grass some twenty yards in front of them, with
black-tipped ears erect and long hinder limbs throwing it
forward, started a hare. It bolted for a thicket of alders. Sir
Geoffrey put his gun to his shoulder, but there was something in
the animal’s grace of movement that strangely charmed Dorian
Gray, and he cried out at once, “Don’t shoot it, Geoffrey.
Let it live.” |
|
[18.11] “What nonsense,
Dorian!” laughed his companion, and as the hare bounded
into the thicket, he fired. There were two cries heard, the cry
of a hare in pain, which is dreadful, the cry of a man in agony,
which is worse. |
|
[18.12] “Good heavens! I have
hit a beater!” exclaimed Sir Geoffrey. “What an ass
the man was to get in front of the guns! Stop shooting
there!” he called out at the top of his voice. “A man
is hurt.” |
|
[18.13] The head-keeper came running
up with a stick in his hand. |
|
[18.14] “Where, sir? Where is
he?” he shouted. At the same time, the firing ceased along
the line. |
|
[18.15] “Here,” answered
Sir Geoffrey angrily, hurrying towards the thicket. “Why on
earth don’t you keep your men back? Spoiled my shooting for the
day.” |
|
[18.16] Dorian watched them as they
plunged into the alder-clump, brushing the lithe swinging
branches aside. In a few moments they emerged, dragging a body
after them into the sunlight. He turned away in horror. It seemed
to him that misfortune followed wherever he went. He heard Sir
Geoffrey ask if the man was really dead, and the affirmative
answer of the keeper. The wood seemed to him to have become
suddenly alive with faces. There was the trampling of myriad feet
and the low buzz of voices. A great copper-breasted pheasant came
beating through the boughs overhead. |
|
[18.17] After a few
moments—that were to him, in his perturbed state, like
endless hours of pain—he felt a hand laid on his shoulder.
He started and looked round. |
|
[18.18] “Dorian,” said
Lord Henry, “I had better tell them that the shooting is
stopped for to-day. It would not look well to go on.” |
|
[18.19] “I wish it were stopped
for ever, Harry,” he answered bitterly. “The whole
thing is hideous and cruel. Is the
man . . .?” |
|
[18.20] He could not finish the
sentence. |
|
[18.21] “I am afraid so,”
rejoined Lord Henry. “He got the whole charge of shot in
his chest. He must have died almost instantaneously. Come; let us
go home.” |
|
[18.22] They walked side by side in
the direction of the avenue for nearly fifty yards without
speaking. Then Dorian looked at Lord Henry and said, with a heavy
sigh, “It is a bad omen, Harry, a very bad omen.” |
|
[18.23] “What is?” asked
Lord Henry. “Oh! this accident, I suppose. My dear fellow,
it can’t be helped. It was the man’s own fault. Why did he get in
front of the guns? Besides, it is nothing to us. It is rather
awkward for Geoffrey, of course. It does not do to pepper
beaters. It makes people think that one is a wild shot. And
Geoffrey is not; he shoots very straight. But there is no use
talking about the matter.” |
|
[18.24] Dorian shook his head.
“It is a bad omen, Harry. I feel as if something horrible
were going to happen to some of us. To myself, perhaps,” he
added, passing his hand over his eyes, with a gesture of
pain. |
|
[18.25] The elder man laughed.
“The only horrible thing in the world is ennui, Dorian.
That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness. But we are
not likely to suffer from it unless these fellows keep chattering
about this thing at dinner. I must tell them that the subject is
to be tabooed. As for omens, there is no such thing as an omen.
Destiny does not send us heralds. She is too wise or too cruel
for that. Besides, what on earth could happen to you, Dorian? You
have everything in the world that a man can want. There is no one
who would not be delighted to change places with you.” |
|
[18.26] “There is no one with
whom I would not change places, Harry. Don’t laugh like that. I
am telling you the truth. The wretched peasant who has just died
is better off than I am. I have no terror of death. It is the
coming of death that terrifies me. Its monstrous wings seem to
wheel in the leaden air around me. Good heavens! don’t you see a
man moving behind the trees there, watching me, waiting for
me?” |
|
[18.27] Lord Henry looked in the
direction in which the trembling gloved hand was pointing.
“Yes,” he said, smiling, “I see the gardener
waiting for you. I suppose he wants to ask you what flowers you
wish to have on the table to-night. How absurdly nervous you are,
my dear fellow! You must come and see my doctor, when we get back
to town.” |
|
[18.28] Dorian heaved a sigh of
relief as he saw the gardener approaching. The man touched his
hat, glanced for a moment at Lord Henry in a hesitating manner,
and then produced a letter, which he handed to his master.
“Her Grace told me to wait for an answer,” he
murmured. |
|
[18.29] Dorian put the letter into
his pocket. “Tell her Grace that I am coming in,” he
said, coldly. The man turned round and went rapidly in the
direction of the house. |
|
[18.30] “How fond women are of
doing dangerous things!” laughed Lord Henry. “It is
one of the qualities in them that I admire most. A woman will
flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are
looking on.” |
|
[18.31] “How fond you are of
saying dangerous things, Harry! In the present instance, you are
quite astray. I like the duchess very much, but I don’t love
her.” |
|
[18.32] “And the duchess loves
you very much, but she likes you less, so you are excellently
matched.” |
|
[18.33] “You are talking
scandal, Harry, and there is never any basis for
scandal.” |
|
[18.34] “The basis of every
scandal is an immoral certainty,” said Lord Henry, lighting
a cigarette. |
|
[18.35] “You would sacrifice
anybody, Harry, for the sake of an epigram.” |
|
[18.36] “The world goes to the
altar of its own accord,” was the answer. |
|
[18.37] “I wish I could
love,” cried Dorian Gray with a deep note of pathos in his
voice. “But I seem to have lost the passion and forgotten
the desire. I am too much concentrated on myself. My own
personality has become a burden to me. I want to escape, to go
away, to forget. It was silly of me to come down here at all. I
think I shall send a wire to Harvey to have the yacht got ready.
On a yacht one is safe.” |
|
[18.38] “Safe from what,
Dorian? You are in some trouble. Why not tell me what it is? You
know I would help you.” |
|
[18.39] “I can’t tell you,
Harry,” he answered sadly. “And I dare say it is only
a fancy of mine. This unfortunate accident has upset me. I have a
horrible presentiment that something of the kind may happen to
me.” |
|
[18.40] “What
nonsense!” |
|
[18.41] “I hope it is, but I
can’t help feeling it. Ah! here is the duchess, looking like
Artemis in a tailor-made gown. You see we have come back,
Duchess.” |
|
[18.42] “I have heard all about
it, Mr. Gray,” she answered. “Poor Geoffrey is
terribly upset. And it seems that you asked him not to shoot the
hare. How curious!” |
|
[18.43] “Yes, it was very
curious. I don’t know what made me say it. Some whim, I suppose.
It looked the loveliest of little live things. But I am sorry
they told you about the man. It is a hideous subject.” |
|
[18.44] “It is an annoying
subject,” broke in Lord Henry. “It has no
psychological value at all. Now if Geoffrey had done the thing on
purpose, how interesting he would be! I should like to know some
one who had committed a real murder.” |
|
[18.45] “How horrid of you,
Harry!” cried the duchess. “Isn’t it, Mr. Gray?
Harry, Mr. Gray is ill again. He is going to faint.” |
|
[18.46] Dorian drew himself up with
an effort and smiled. “It is nothing, Duchess,” he
murmured; “my nerves are dreadfully out of order. That is
all. I am afraid I walked too far this morning. I didn’t hear
what Harry said. Was it very bad? You must tell me some other
time. I think I must go and lie down. You will excuse me, won’t
you?” |
|
[18.47] They had reached the great
flight of steps that led from the conservatory on to the terrace.
As the glass door closed behind Dorian, Lord Henry turned and
looked at the duchess with his slumberous eyes. “Are you
very much in love with him?” he asked. |
|
[18.48] She did not answer for some
time, but stood gazing at the landscape. “I wish I
knew,” she said at last. |
|
[18.49] He shook his head.
“Knowledge would be fatal. It is the uncertainty that
charms one. A mist makes things wonderful.” |
|
[18.50] “One may lose one’s
way.” |
|
[18.51] “All ways end at the
same point, my dear Gladys.” |
|
[18.52] “What is
that?” |
|
[18.53]
“Disillusion.” |
|
[18.54] “It was my debut in
life,” she sighed. |
|
[18.55] “It came to you
crowned.” |
|
[18.56] “I am tired of
strawberry leaves.” |
|
[18.57] “They become
you.” |
|
[18.58] “Only in
public.” |
|
[18.59] “You would miss
them,” said Lord Henry. |
|
[18.60] “I will not part with a
petal.” |
|
[18.61] “Monmouth has
ears.” |
|
[18.62] “Old age is dull of
hearing.” |
|
[18.63] “Has he never been
jealous?” |
|
[18.64] “I wish he had
been.” |
|
[18.65] He glanced about as if in
search of something. “What are you looking for?” she
inquired. |
|
[18.66] “The button from your
foil,” he answered. “You have dropped it.” |
|
[18.67] She laughed. “I have
still the mask.” |
|
[18.68] “It makes your eyes
lovelier,” was his reply. |
|
[18.69] She laughed again. Her teeth
showed like white seeds in a scarlet fruit. |
|
[18.70] Upstairs, in his own room,
Dorian Gray was lying on a sofa, with terror in every tingling
fibre of his body. Life had suddenly become too hideous a burden
for him to bear. The dreadful death of the unlucky beater, shot
in the thicket like a wild animal, had seemed to him to
pre-figure death for himself also. He had nearly swooned at what
Lord Henry had said in a chance mood of cynical jesting. |
|
[18.71] At five o’clock he rang his
bell for his servant and gave him orders to pack his things for
the night-express to town, and to have the brougham at the door
by eight-thirty. He was determined not to sleep another night at
Selby Royal. It was an ill-omened place. Death walked there in
the sunlight. The grass of the forest had been spotted with
blood. |
|
[18.72] Then he wrote a note to Lord
Henry, telling him that he was going up to town to consult his
doctor and asking him to entertain his guests in his absence. As
he was putting it into the envelope, a knock came to the door,
and his valet informed him that the head-keeper wished to see
him. He frowned and bit his lip. “Send him in,” he
muttered, after some moments’ hesitation. |
|
[18.73] As soon as the man entered,
Dorian pulled his chequebook out of a drawer and spread it out
before him. |
|
[18.74] “I suppose you have
come about the unfortunate accident of this morning,
Thornton?” he said, taking up a pen. |
|
[18.75] “Yes, sir,”
answered the gamekeeper. |
|
[18.76] “Was the poor fellow
married? Had he any people dependent on him?” asked Dorian,
looking bored. “If so, I should not like them to be left in
want, and will send them any sum of money you may think
necessary.” |
|
[18.77] “We don’t know who he
is, sir. That is what I took the liberty of coming to you
about.” |
|
[18.78] “Don’t know who he
is?” said Dorian, listlessly. “What do you mean?
Wasn’t he one of your men?” |
|
[18.79] “No, sir. Never saw him
before. Seems like a sailor, sir.” |
|
[18.80] The pen dropped from Dorian
Gray’s hand, and he felt as if his heart had suddenly stopped
beating. “A sailor?” he cried out. “Did you say
a sailor?” |
|
[18.81] “Yes, sir. He looks as
if he had been a sort of sailor; tattooed on both arms, and that
kind of thing.” |
|
[18.82] “Was there anything
found on him?” said Dorian, leaning forward and looking at
the man with startled eyes. “Anything that would tell his
name?” |
|
[18.83] “Some money,
sir—not much, and a six-shooter. There was no name of any
kind. A decent-looking man, sir, but rough-like. A sort of sailor
we think.” |
|
[18.84] Dorian started to his feet. A
terrible hope fluttered past him. He clutched at it madly.
“Where is the body?” he exclaimed. “Quick! I
must see it at once.” |
|
[18.85] “It is in an empty
stable in the Home Farm, sir. The folk don’t like to have that
sort of thing in their houses. They say a corpse brings bad
luck.” |
|
[18.86] “The Home Farm! Go
there at once and meet me. Tell one of the grooms to bring my
horse round. No. Never mind. I’ll go to the stables myself. It
will save time.” |
|
[18.87] In less than a quarter of an
hour, Dorian Gray was galloping down the long avenue as hard as
he could go. The trees seemed to sweep past him in spectral
procession, and wild shadows to fling themselves across his path.
Once the mare swerved at a white gate-post and nearly threw him.
He lashed her across the neck with his crop. She cleft the dusky
air like an arrow. The stones flew from her hoofs. |
|
[18.88] At last he reached the Home
Farm. Two men were loitering in the yard. He leaped from the
saddle and threw the reins to one of them. In the farthest stable
a light was glimmering. Something seemed to tell him that the
body was there, and he hurried to the door and put his hand upon
the latch. |
|
[18.89] There he paused for a moment,
feeling that he was on the brink of a discovery that would either
make or mar his life. Then he thrust the door open and
entered. |
|
[18.90] On a heap of sacking in the
far corner was lying the dead body of a man dressed in a coarse
shirt and a pair of blue trousers. A spotted handkerchief had
been placed over the face. A coarse candle, stuck in a bottle,
sputtered beside it. |
|
[18.91] Dorian Gray shuddered. He
felt that his could not be the hand to take the handkerchief
away, and called out to one of the farm-servants to come to
him. |
|
[18.92] “Take that thing off
the face. I wish to see it,” he said, clutching at the
door-post for support. |
|
[18.93] When the farm-servant had
done so, he stepped forward. A cry of joy broke from his lips.
The man who had been shot in the thicket was James Vane. |
|
[18.94] He stood there for some
minutes looking at the dead body. As he rode home, his eyes were
full of tears, for he knew he was safe. |
|
|
|
Chapter 19 |
|
[19.1] “There is no use your
telling me that you are going to be good,” cried Lord
Henry, dipping his white fingers into a red copper bowl filled
with rose-water. “You are quite perfect. Pray, don’t
change.” |
|
[19.2] Dorian Gray shook his head.
“No, Harry, I have done too many dreadful things in my
life. I am not going to do any more. I began my good actions
yesterday.” |
|
[19.3] “Where were you
yesterday?” |
|
[19.4] “In the country, Harry.
I was staying at a little inn by myself.” |
|
[19.5] “My dear boy,”
said Lord Henry, smiling, “anybody can be good in the
country. There are no temptations there. That is the reason why
people who live out of town are so absolutely uncivilized.
Civilization is not by any means an easy thing to attain to.
There are only two ways by which man can reach it. One is by
being cultured, the other by being corrupt. Country people have
no opportunity of being either, so they stagnate.” |
|
[19.6] “Culture and
corruption,” echoed Dorian. “I have known something
of both. It seems terrible to me now that they should ever be
found together. For I have a new ideal, Harry. I am going to
alter. I think I have altered.” |
|
[19.7] “You have not yet told
me what your good action was. Or did you say you had done more
than one?” asked his companion as he spilled into his plate
a little crimson pyramid of seeded strawberries and, through a
perforated, shell-shaped spoon, snowed white sugar upon them. |
|
[19.8] “I can tell you, Harry.
It is not a story I could tell to any one else. I spared
somebody. It sounds vain, but you understand what I mean. She was
quite beautiful and wonderfully like Sibyl Vane. I think it was
that which first attracted me to her. You remember Sibyl, don’t
you? How long ago that seems! Well, Hetty was not one of our own
class, of course. She was simply a girl in a village. But I
really loved her. I am quite sure that I loved her. All during
this wonderful May that we have been having, I used to run down
and see her two or three times a week. Yesterday she met me in a
little orchard. The apple-blossoms kept tumbling down on her
hair, and she was laughing. We were to have gone away together
this morning at dawn. Suddenly I determined to leave her as
flowerlike as I had found her.” |
|
[19.9] “I should think the
novelty of the emotion must have given you a thrill of real
pleasure, Dorian,” interrupted Lord Henry. “But I can
finish your idyll for you. You gave her good advice and broke her
heart. That was the beginning of your reformation.” |
|
[19.10] “Harry, you are
horrible! You mustn’t say these dreadful things. Hetty’s heart is
not broken. Of course, she cried and all that. But there is no
disgrace upon her. She can live, like Perdita, in her garden of
mint and marigold.” |
|
[19.11] “And weep over a
faithless Florizel,” said Lord Henry, laughing, as he
leaned back in his chair. “My dear Dorian, you have the
most curiously boyish moods. Do you think this girl will ever be
really content now with any one of her own rank? I suppose she
will be married some day to a rough carter or a grinning
ploughman. Well, the fact of having met you, and loved you, will
teach her to despise her husband, and she will be wretched. From
a moral point of view, I cannot say that I think much of your
great renunciation. Even as a beginning, it is poor. Besides, how
do you know that Hetty isn’t floating at the present moment in
some starlit mill-pond, with lovely water-lilies round her, like
Ophelia?” |
|
[19.12] “I can’t bear this,
Harry! You mock at everything, and then suggest the most serious
tragedies. I am sorry I told you now. I don’t care what you say
to me. I know I was right in acting as I did. Poor Hetty! As I
rode past the farm this morning, I saw her white face at the
window, like a spray of jasmine. Don’t let us talk about it any
more, and don’t try to persuade me that the first good action I
have done for years, the first little bit of self-sacrifice I
have ever known, is really a sort of sin. I want to be better. I
am going to be better. Tell me something about yourself. What is
going on in town? I have not been to the club for
days.” |
|
[19.13] “The people are still
discussing poor Basil’s disappearance.” |
|
[19.14] “I should have thought
they had got tired of that by this time,” said Dorian,
pouring himself out some wine and frowning slightly. |
|
[19.15] “My dear boy, they have
only been talking about it for six weeks, and the British public
are really not equal to the mental strain of having more than one
topic every three months. They have been very fortunate lately,
however. They have had my own divorce-case and Alan Campbell’s
suicide. Now they have got the mysterious disappearance of an
artist. Scotland Yard still insists that the man in the grey
ulster who left for Paris by the midnight train on the ninth of
November was poor Basil, and the French police declare that Basil
never arrived in Paris at all. I suppose in about a fortnight we
shall be told that he has been seen in San Francisco. It is an
odd thing, but every one who disappears is said to be seen at San
Francisco. It must be a delightful city, and possess all the
attractions of the next world.” |
|
[19.16] “What do you think has
happened to Basil?” asked Dorian, holding up his Burgundy
against the light and wondering how it was that he could discuss
the matter so calmly. |
|
[19.17] “I have not the
slightest idea. If Basil chooses to hide himself, it is no
business of mine. If he is dead, I don’t want to think about him.
Death is the only thing that ever terrifies me. I hate
it.” |
|
[19.18] “Why?” said the
younger man wearily. |
|
[19.19] “Because,” said
Lord Henry, passing beneath his nostrils the gilt trellis of an
open vinaigrette box, “one can survive everything nowadays
except that. Death and vulgarity are the only two facts in the
nineteenth century that one cannot explain away. Let us have our
coffee in the music-room, Dorian. You must play Chopin to me. The
man with whom my wife ran away played Chopin exquisitely. Poor
Victoria! I was very fond of her. The house is rather lonely
without her. Of course, married life is merely a habit, a bad
habit. But then one regrets the loss even of one’s worst habits.
Perhaps one regrets them the most. They are such an essential
part of one’s personality.” |
|
[19.20] Dorian said nothing, but rose
from the table, and passing into the next room, sat down to the
piano and let his fingers stray across the white and black ivory
of the keys. After the coffee had been brought in, he stopped,
and looking over at Lord Henry, said, “Harry, did it ever
occur to you that Basil was murdered?” |
|
[19.21] Lord Henry yawned.
“Basil was very popular, and always wore a Waterbury watch.
Why should he have been murdered? He was not clever enough to
have enemies. Of course, he had a wonderful genius for painting.
But a man can paint like Velasquez and yet be as dull as
possible. Basil was really rather dull. He only interested me
once, and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild
adoration for you and that you were the dominant motive of his
art.” |
|
[19.22] “I was very fond of
Basil,” said Dorian with a note of sadness in his voice.
“But don’t people say that he was murdered?” |
|
[19.23] “Oh, some of the papers
do. It does not seem to me to be at all probable. I know there
are dreadful places in Paris, but Basil was not the sort of man
to have gone to them. He had no curiosity. It was his chief
defect.” |
|
[19.24] “What would you say,
Harry, if I told you that I had murdered Basil?” said the
younger man. He watched him intently after he had spoken. |
|
[19.25] “I would say, my dear
fellow, that you were posing for a character that doesn’t suit
you. All crime is vulgar, just as all vulgarity is crime. It is
not in you, Dorian, to commit a murder. I am sorry if I hurt your
vanity by saying so, but I assure you it is true. Crime belongs
exclusively to the lower orders. I don’t blame them in the
smallest degree. I should fancy that crime was to them what art
is to us, simply a method of procuring extraordinary
sensations.” |
|
[19.26] “A method of procuring
sensations? Do you think, then, that a man who has once committed
a murder could possibly do the same crime again? Don’t tell me
that.” |
|
[19.27] “Oh! anything becomes a
pleasure if one does it too often,” cried Lord Henry,
laughing. “That is one of the most important secrets of
life. I should fancy, however, that murder is always a mistake.
One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after
dinner. But let us pass from poor Basil. I wish I could believe
that he had come to such a really romantic end as you suggest,
but I can’t. I dare say he fell into the Seine off an omnibus and
that the conductor hushed up the scandal. Yes: I should fancy
that was his end. I see him lying now on his back under those
dull-green waters, with the heavy barges floating over him and
long weeds catching in his hair. Do you know, I don’t think he
would have done much more good work. During the last ten years
his painting had gone off very much.” |
|
[19.28] Dorian heaved a sigh, and
Lord Henry strolled across the room and began to stroke the head
of a curious Java parrot, a large, grey-plumaged bird with pink
crest and tail, that was balancing itself upon a bamboo perch. As
his pointed fingers touched it, it dropped the white scurf of
crinkled lids over black, glasslike eyes and began to sway
backwards and forwards. |
|
[19.29] “Yes,” he
continued, turning round and taking his handkerchief out of his
pocket; “his painting had quite gone off. It seemed to me
to have lost something. It had lost an ideal. When you and he
ceased to be great friends, he ceased to be a great artist. What
was it separated you? I suppose he bored you. If so, he never
forgave you. It’s a habit bores have. By the way, what has become
of that wonderful portrait he did of you? I don’t think I have
ever seen it since he finished it. Oh! I remember your telling me
years ago that you had sent it down to Selby, and that it had got
mislaid or stolen on the way. You never got it back? What a pity!
it was really a masterpiece. I remember I wanted to buy it. I
wish I had now. It belonged to Basil’s best period. Since then,
his work was that curious mixture of bad painting and good
intentions that always entitles a man to be called a
representative British artist. Did you advertise for it? You
should.” |
|
[19.30] “I forget,” said
Dorian. “I suppose I did. But I never really liked it. I am
sorry I sat for it. The memory of the thing is hateful to me. Why
do you talk of it? It used to remind me of those curious lines in
some play—Hamlet, I think—how do they run?— |
|
|
Yes: that is what it was like.” |
|
[19.31] Lord Henry laughed. “If
a man treats life artistically, his brain is his heart,” he
answered, sinking into an arm-chair. |
|
[19.32] Dorian Gray shook his head
and struck some soft chords on the piano. “‘Like the
painting of a sorrow,’” he repeated, “‘a
face without a heart.’” |
|
[19.33] The elder man lay back and
looked at him with half-closed eyes. “By the way,
Dorian,” he said after a pause, “‘what does it
profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose—how does
the quotation run?—his own soul’?” |
|
[19.34] The music jarred, and Dorian
Gray started and stared at his friend. “Why do you ask me
that, Harry?” |
|
[19.35] “My dear fellow,”
said Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows in surprise, “I
asked you because I thought you might be able to give me an
answer. That is all. I was going through the park last Sunday,
and close by the Marble Arch there stood a little crowd of
shabby-looking people listening to some vulgar street-preacher.
As I passed by, I heard the man yelling out that question to his
audience. It struck me as being rather dramatic. London is very
rich in curious effects of that kind. A wet Sunday, an uncouth
Christian in a mackintosh, a ring of sickly white faces under a
broken roof of dripping umbrellas, and a wonderful phrase flung
into the air by shrill hysterical lips—it was really very
good in its way, quite a suggestion. I thought of telling the
prophet that art had a soul, but that man had not. I am afraid,
however, he would not have understood me.” |
|
[19.36] “Don’t, Harry. The soul
is a terrible reality. It can be bought, and sold, and bartered
away. It can be poisoned, or made perfect. There is a soul in
each one of us. I know it.” |
|
[19.37] “Do you feel quite sure
of that, Dorian?” |
|
[19.38] “Quite sure.” |
|
[19.39] “Ah! then it must be an
illusion. The things one feels absolutely certain about are never
true. That is the fatality of faith, and the lesson of romance.
How grave you are! Don’t be so serious. What have you or I to do
with the superstitions of our age? No: we have given up our
belief in the soul. Play me something. Play me a nocturne,
Dorian, and, as you play, tell me, in a low voice, how you have
kept your youth. You must have some secret. I am only ten years
older than you are, and I am wrinkled, and worn, and yellow. You
are really wonderful, Dorian. You have never looked more charming
than you do to-night. You remind me of the day I saw you first.
You were rather cheeky, very shy, and absolutely extraordinary.
You have changed, of course, but not in appearance. I wish you
would tell me your secret. To get back my youth I would do
anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be
respectable. Youth! There is nothing like it. It’s absurd to talk
of the ignorance of youth. The only people to whose opinions I
listen now with any respect are people much younger than myself.
They seem in front of me. Life has revealed to them her latest
wonder. As for the aged, I always contradict the aged. I do it on
principle. If you ask them their opinion on something that
happened yesterday, they solemnly give you the opinions current
in 1820, when people wore high stocks, believed in everything,
and knew absolutely nothing. How lovely that thing you are
playing is! I wonder, did Chopin write it at Majorca, with the
sea weeping round the villa and the salt spray dashing against
the panes? It is marvellously romantic. What a blessing it is
that there is one art left to us that is not imitative! Don’t
stop. I want music to-night. It seems to me that you are the
young Apollo and that I am Marsyas listening to you. I have
sorrows, Dorian, of my own, that even you know nothing of. The
tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.
I am amazed sometimes at my own sincerity. Ah, Dorian, how happy
you are! What an exquisite life you have had! You have drunk
deeply of everything. You have crushed the grapes against your
palate. Nothing has been hidden from you. And it has all been to
you no more than the sound of music. It has not marred you. You
are still the same.” |
|
[19.40] “I am not the same,
Harry.” |
|
[19.41] “Yes, you are the same.
I wonder what the rest of your life will be. Don’t spoil it by
renunciations. At present you are a perfect type. Don’t make
yourself incomplete. You are quite flawless now. You need not
shake your head: you know you are. Besides, Dorian, don’t deceive
yourself. Life is not governed by will or intention. Life is a
question of nerves, and fibres, and slowly built-up cells in
which thought hides itself and passion has its dreams. You may
fancy yourself safe and think yourself strong. But a chance tone
of colour in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume that
you had once loved and that brings subtle memories with it, a
line from a forgotten poem that you had come across again, a
cadence from a piece of music that you had ceased to play—I
tell you, Dorian, that it is on things like these that our lives
depend. Browning writes about that somewhere; but our own senses
will imagine them for us. There are moments when the odour of
lilas blanc passes suddenly across me, and I have to
live the strangest month of my life over again. I wish I could
change places with you, Dorian. The world has cried out against
us both, but it has always worshipped you. It always will worship
you. You are the type of what the age is searching for, and what
it is afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have never done
anything, never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or
produced anything outside of yourself! Life has been your art.
You have set yourself to music. Your days are your
sonnets.” |
|
[19.42] Dorian rose up from the piano
and passed his hand through his hair. “Yes, life has been
exquisite,” he murmured, “but I am not going to have
the same life, Harry. And you must not say these extravagant
things to me. You don’t know everything about me. I think that if
you did, even you would turn from me. You laugh. Don’t
laugh.” |
|
[19.43] “Why have you stopped
playing, Dorian? Go back and give me the nocturne over again.
Look at that great, honey-coloured moon that hangs in the dusky
air. She is waiting for you to charm her, and if you play she
will come closer to the earth. You won’t? Let us go to the club,
then. It has been a charming evening, and we must end it
charmingly. There is some one at White’s who wants immensely to
know you—young Lord Poole, Bournemouth’s eldest son. He has
already copied your neckties, and has begged me to introduce him
to you. He is quite delightful and rather reminds me of
you.” |
|
[19.44] “I hope not,”
said Dorian with a sad look in his eyes. “But I am tired
to-night, Harry. I shan’t go to the club. It is nearly eleven,
and I want to go to bed early.” |
|
[19.45] “Do stay. You have
never played so well as to-night. There was something in your
touch that was wonderful. It had more expression than I had ever
heard from it before.” |
|
[19.46] “It is because I am
going to be good,” he answered, smiling. “I am a
little changed already.” |
|
[19.47] “You cannot change to
me, Dorian,” said Lord Henry. “You and I will always
be friends.” |
|
[19.48] “Yet you poisoned me
with a book once. I should not forgive that. Harry, promise me
that you will never lend that book to any one. It does
harm.” |
|
[19.49] “My dear boy, you are
really beginning to moralize. You will soon be going about like
the converted, and the revivalist, warning people against all the
sins of which you have grown tired. You are much too delightful
to do that. Besides, it is no use. You and I are what we are, and
will be what we will be. As for being poisoned by a book, there
is no such thing as that. Art has no influence upon action. It
annihilates the desire to act. It is superbly sterile. The books
that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its
own shame. That is all. But we won’t discuss literature. Come
round to-morrow. I am going to ride at eleven. We might go
together, and I will take you to lunch afterwards with Lady
Branksome. She is a charming woman, and wants to consult you
about some tapestries she is thinking of buying. Mind you come.
Or shall we lunch with our little duchess? She says she never
sees you now. Perhaps you are tired of Gladys? I thought you
would be. Her clever tongue gets on one’s nerves. Well, in any
case, be here at eleven.” |
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[19.50] “Must I really come,
Harry?” |
|
[19.51] “Certainly. The park is
quite lovely now. I don’t think there have been such lilacs since
the year I met you.” |
|
[19.52] “Very well. I shall be
here at eleven,” said Dorian. “Good night,
Harry.” As he reached the door, he hesitated for a moment,
as if he had something more to say. Then he sighed and went
out. |
|
|
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Chapter 20 |
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[20.1] It was a lovely night, so warm
that he threw his coat over his arm and did not even put his silk
scarf round his throat. As he strolled home, smoking his
cigarette, two young men in evening dress passed him. He heard
one of them whisper to the other, “That is Dorian
Gray.” He remembered how pleased he used to be when he was
pointed out, or stared at, or talked about. He was tired of
hearing his own name now. Half the charm of the little village
where he had been so often lately was that no one knew who he
was. He had often told the girl whom he had lured to love him
that he was poor, and she had believed him. He had told her once
that he was wicked, and she had laughed at him and answered that
wicked people were always very old and very ugly. What a laugh
she had!—just like a thrush singing. And how pretty she had
been in her cotton dresses and her large hats! She knew nothing,
but she had everything that he had lost. |
|
[20.2] When he reached home, he found
his servant waiting up for him. He sent him to bed, and threw
himself down on the sofa in the library, and began to think over
some of the things that Lord Henry had said to him. |
|
[20.3] Was it really true that one
could never change? He felt a wild longing for the unstained
purity of his boyhood—his rose-white boyhood, as Lord Henry
had once called it. He knew that he had tarnished himself, filled
his mind with corruption and given horror to his fancy; that he
had been an evil influence to others, and had experienced a
terrible joy in being so; and that of the lives that had crossed
his own, it had been the fairest and the most full of promise
that he had brought to shame. But was it all irretrievable? Was
there no hope for him? |
|
[20.4] Ah! in what a monstrous moment
of pride and passion he had prayed that the portrait should bear
the burden of his days, and he keep the unsullied splendour of
eternal youth! All his failure had been due to that. Better for
him that each sin of his life had brought its sure swift penalty
along with it. There was purification in punishment. Not
“Forgive us our sins” but “Smite us for our
iniquities” should be the prayer of man to a most just
God. |
|
[20.5] The curiously carved mirror
that Lord Henry had given to him, so many years ago now, was
standing on the table, and the white-limbed Cupids laughed round
it as of old. He took it up, as he had done on that night of
horror when he had first noted the change in the fatal picture,
and with wild, tear-dimmed eyes looked into its polished shield.
Once, some one who had terribly loved him had written to him a
mad letter, ending with these idolatrous words: “The world
is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of
your lips rewrite history.” The phrases came back to his
memory, and he repeated them over and over to himself. Then he
loathed his own beauty, and flinging the mirror on the floor,
crushed it into silver splinters beneath his heel. It was his
beauty that had ruined him, his beauty and the youth that he had
prayed for. But for those two things, his life might have been
free from stain. His beauty had been to him but a mask, his youth
but a mockery. What was youth at best? A green, an unripe time, a
time of shallow moods, and sickly thoughts. Why had he worn its
livery? Youth had spoiled him. |
|
[20.6] It was better not to think of
the past. Nothing could alter that. It was of himself, and of his
own future, that he had to think. James Vane was hidden in a
nameless grave in Selby churchyard. Alan Campbell had shot
himself one night in his laboratory, but had not revealed the
secret that he had been forced to know. The excitement, such as
it was, over Basil Hallward’s disappearance would soon pass away.
It was already waning. He was perfectly safe there. Nor, indeed,
was it the death of Basil Hallward that weighed most upon his
mind. It was the living death of his own soul that troubled him.
Basil had painted the portrait that had marred his life. He could
not forgive him that. It was the portrait that had done
everything. Basil had said things to him that were unbearable,
and that he had yet borne with patience. The murder had been
simply the madness of a moment. As for Alan Campbell, his suicide
had been his own act. He had chosen to do it. It was nothing to
him. |
|
[20.7] A new life! That was what he
wanted. That was what he was waiting for. Surely he had begun it
already. He had spared one innocent thing, at any rate. He would
never again tempt innocence. He would be good. |
|
[20.8] As he thought of Hetty Merton,
he began to wonder if the portrait in the locked room had
changed. Surely it was not still so horrible as it had been?
Perhaps if his life became pure, he would be able to expel every
sign of evil passion from the face. Perhaps the signs of evil had
already gone away. He would go and look. |
|
[20.9] He took the lamp from the
table and crept upstairs. As he unbarred the door, a smile of joy
flitted across his strangely young-looking face and lingered for
a moment about his lips. Yes, he would be good, and the hideous
thing that he had hidden away would no longer be a terror to him.
He felt as if the load had been lifted from him already. |
|
[20.10] He went in quietly, locking
the door behind him, as was his custom, and dragged the purple
hanging from the portrait. A cry of pain and indignation broke
from him. He could see no change, save that in the eyes there was
a look of cunning and in the mouth the curved wrinkle of the
hypocrite. The thing was still loathsome—more loathsome, if
possible, than before—and the scarlet dew that spotted the
hand seemed brighter, and more like blood newly spilled. Then he
trembled. Had it been merely vanity that had made him do his one
good deed? Or the desire for a new sensation, as Lord Henry had
hinted, with his mocking laugh? Or that passion to act a part
that sometimes makes us do things finer than we are ourselves?
Or, perhaps, all these? And why was the red stain larger than it
had been? It seemed to have crept like a horrible disease over
the wrinkled fingers. There was blood on the painted feet, as
though the thing had dripped—blood even on the hand that
had not held the knife. Confess? Did it mean that he was to
confess? To give himself up and be put to death? He laughed. He
felt that the idea was monstrous. Besides, even if he did
confess, who would believe him? There was no trace of the
murdered man anywhere. Everything belonging to him had been
destroyed. He himself had burned what had been below-stairs. The
world would simply say that he was mad. They would shut him up if
he persisted in his story. . . . Yet it was his
duty to confess, to suffer public shame, and to make public
atonement. There was a God who called upon men to tell their sins
to earth as well as to heaven. Nothing that he could do would
cleanse him till he had told his own sin. His sin? He shrugged
his shoulders. The death of Basil Hallward seemed very little to
him. He was thinking of Hetty Merton. For it was an unjust
mirror, this mirror of his soul that he was looking at. Vanity?
Curiosity? Hypocrisy? Had there been nothing more in his
renunciation than that? There had been something more. At least
he thought so. But who could tell? . . . No. There had
been nothing more. Through vanity he had spared her. In hypocrisy
he had worn the mask of goodness. For curiosity’s sake he had
tried the denial of self. He recognized that now. |
|
[20.11] But this murder—was it
to dog him all his life? Was he always to be burdened by his
past? Was he really to confess? Never. There was only one bit of
evidence left against him. The picture itself—that was
evidence. He would destroy it. Why had he kept it so long? Once
it had given him pleasure to watch it changing and growing old.
Of late he had felt no such pleasure. It had kept him awake at
night. When he had been away, he had been filled with terror lest
other eyes should look upon it. It had brought melancholy across
his passions. Its mere memory had marred many moments of joy. It
had been like conscience to him. Yes, it had been conscience. He
would destroy it. |
|
[20.12] He looked round and saw the
knife that had stabbed Basil Hallward. He had cleaned it many
times, till there was no stain left upon it. It was bright, and
glistened. As it had killed the painter, so it would kill the
painter’s work, and all that that meant. It would kill the past,
and when that was dead, he would be free. It would kill this
monstrous soul-life, and without its hideous warnings, he would
be at peace. He seized the thing, and stabbed the picture with
it. |
|
[20.13] There was a cry heard, and a
crash. The cry was so horrible in its agony that the frightened
servants woke and crept out of their rooms. Two gentlemen, who
were passing in the square below, stopped and looked up at the
great house. They walked on till they met a policeman and brought
him back. The man rang the bell several times, but there was no
answer. Except for a light in one of the top windows, the house
was all dark. After a time, he went away and stood in an
adjoining portico and watched. |
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[20.14] “Whose house is that,
Constable?” asked the elder of the two gentlemen. |
|
[20.15] “Mr. Dorian Gray’s,
sir,” answered the policeman. |
|
[20.16] They looked at each other, as
they walked away, and sneered. One of them was Sir Henry Ashton’s
uncle. |
|
[20.17] Inside, in the servants’ part
of the house, the half-clad domestics were talking in low
whispers to each other. Old Mrs. Leaf was crying and wringing her
hands. Francis was as pale as death. |
|
[20.18] After about a quarter of an
hour, he got the coachman and one of the footmen and crept
upstairs. They knocked, but there was no reply. They called out.
Everything was still. Finally, after vainly trying to force the
door, they got on the roof and dropped down on to the balcony.
The windows yielded easily—their bolts were old. |
|
[20.19] When they entered, they found
hanging upon the wall a splendid portrait of their master as they
had last seen him, in all the wonder of his exquisite youth and
beauty. Lying on the floor was a dead man, in evening dress, with
a knife in his heart. He was withered, wrinkled, and loathsome of
visage. It was not till they had examined the rings that they
recognized who it was. |
|