An Epistle to Arbuthnot

THE VERSE
Neque sermonibus Vulgi dederis te, nec in Præmiis humanis spem posueris rerum tuarum; suis te oportet illecebris ipsa Virtus trahat ad verum decus. Quid de te alii loquantur, ipsi videant, sed loquentur tamen. Tully.
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This Paper is a Sort of Bill of Complaint, begun many years since, and drawn up by snatches,° as the several Occasions offer’d. I had no thoughts of publishing it, till it pleas’d some Persons of Rank and Fortune [the Authors of Verses to the Imitator of Horace, and of an Epistle to a Doctor of Divinity from a Nobleman at Hampton Court,] to attack in a very extraordinary manner, not only my Writings (of which being publick the Publick may judge) but my Person,° Morals, and Family, whereof° to those who know me not, a truer Information may be requisite.° Being divided between the Necessity to say something of Myself, and my own Laziness to undertake so awkward a Task, I thought it the shortest way to put the last hand to this Epistle. If it have any thing pleasing, it will be That by which I am most desirous to please, the Truth and the Sentiment; and if any thing offensive, it will be only to those I am least sorry to offend, the Vicious or the Ungenerous.	snatches = bits and pieces Person = physical appearance whereof = of which requisite = necessary
Many will know their own Pictures in it, there being not a Circumstance but what is true; but I have, for the most part spar’d their Names, and they may escape being laugh’d at, if they please.
I would have some of them know, it was owing to the Request of the learned and candid° Friend to whom it is inscribed, that I make not as free use of theirs as they have done of mine. However I shall have this Advantage, and Honour, on my side, that whereas by their proceeding, any Abuse may be directed at any man, no Injury can possibly be done by mine, since a Nameless Character can never be found out, but by its Truth and Likeness.	candid = unbiased

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AN
EPISTLE
TO
Dr. A R B U T H N O T.

Shut, shut the door, good John!° fatigu’d I said,	John Serle, Pope’s servant
Tye up the knocker, say I’m sick, I’m dead,
The Dog-star rages! nay ’tis past a doubt,
All Bedlam,° or Parnassus,° is let out:	mental hospital — mountain of poetic inspiration
Fire in each eye, and Papers in each hand, [5]
They rave, recite, and madden round the land.
What Walls can guard me, or what Shades can hide?
They pierce my Thickets, through my Grot° they glide;	underground tunnel on Pope’s property
By land, by water,° they renew the charge;	Pope’s house was on the River Thames
They stop the Chariot,° and they board the Barge. [10]	a kind of carriage
No place is sacred, not the Church is free;
Ev’n Sunday shines no Sabbath-day to me:
Then from the Mint° walks forth the Man of Ryme,	district for debtors
Happy! to catch me, just at Dinner-time.
Is there a Parson, much bemus’d° in Beer, [15]	pun on poet laureate Laurence Eusden
A maudlin° Poetess, a ryming Peer,°	weepy — member of the House of Lords
A Clerk,° foredoom’d his Father’s soul to cross,	bureaucrat
Who pens a Stanza when he should engross?°	copy legal documents
Is there,° who lock’d from Ink and Paper, scrawls	is there anyone
With desp’rate Charcoal round his darken’d walls? [20]
All fly to Twit’nam,° and in humble strain°	Pope’s neighborhood — tone
Apply to me, to keep them mad or vain.
Arthur, whose giddy Son neglects the Laws,
Imputes to me° and my damn’d works the cause:	blames me for
Poor Cornus sees his frantic Wife elope, [25]
And curses Wit, and Poetry, and Pope.
Friend to my Life, (which did not you° prolong,	if you did not
The World had wanted° many an idle Song°)	would have lacked — poem
What Drop or Nostrum° can this Plague remove?	patent medicine
Or which must end me, a Fool’s Wrath or Love? [30]
A dire Dilemma! either way I’m sped,°	killed
If Foes, they write, if Friends, they read me dead.
Seiz’d and ty’d down to judge, how wretched I!
Who can’t be silent, and who will not lye;
To laugh, were want° of Goodness and of Grace, [35]	would be a lack
And to be grave,° exceeds all Pow’r of Face.	serious
I sit with sad° Civility, I read	serious
With honest anguish, and an aching head;
And drop at last, but in unwilling ears,
This saving counsel,° “Keep your Piece nine years.” [40]	advice
“Nine years!” cries he, who high in Drury-lane°	London’s theater district
Lull’d by soft Zephyrs° through the broken pane,	calm west winds (poetic diction)
Rhymes ere° he wakes, and prints before Term° ends,	before — when law courts are active
Oblig’d by hunger and Request of friends:
“The Piece you think is incorrect? why take it, [45]
I’m all submission, what you’d have it, make it.”
Three things another’s modest wishes bound,
My Friendship, and a Prologue, and ten Pound.
Pitholeon sends to me: “You know his Grace,°	address to a duke or bishop
I want° a Patron; ask him for a place.”° [50]	don’t have; job
Pitholeon libell’d me — “but here’s a Letter
Informs you Sir, ’twas when he knew no better.
Dare you refuse him? Curl° invites to dine,	a disreputable publisher
He’ll write a Journal, or he’ll turn Divine.”°	priest
Bless me! a Packet° — “’Tis a stranger sues,° [55]	letters — begs
A Virgin Tragedy, an Orphan Muse.”
If I dislike it, “Furies, death and rage!”
If I approve, “Commend° it to the Stage.”	recommend
There (thank my stars) my whole Commission ends,
The Play’rs° and I are, luckily, no friends. [60]	actors
Fir’d° that the House reject him, “’Sdeath° I’ll print it,	angry — I swear
And shame the Fools — your int’rest,° sir, with Lintot.°”	influence — Pope’s publisher
“Lintot, dull rogue! will think your price too much.”
“Not, sir, if you revise it, and retouch.”
All my demurs° but° double his attacks; [65]	objections — only
At last he whispers, “Do, and we go snacks.”°	share profits
Glad of a quarrel, strait° I clap the door,	right away
“Sir, let me see your works and you no more.”
’Tis sung, when Midas’ Ears began to spring,
(Midas, a sacred Person and a King) [70]
His very Minister who spy’d them first,
(Some say his Queen) was forc’d to speak, or burst.
And is not mine, my Friend, a sorer case,
When ev’ry Coxcomb° perks° them in my face?	conceited idiot — shoves
“Good friend forbear! you deal in dang’rous things. [75]
I’d never name Queens, Ministers, or Kings;
Keep close to Ears, and those let Asses prick;
’Tis nothing” — Nothing? if they bite and kick?
Out with it, Dunciad! let the secret pass,
That Secret to each Fool, that he’s an Ass: [80]
The truth once told, (and wherefore should we lie?)
The Queen of Midas slept, and so may I.
You think this cruel? take it for a rule,
No creature smarts° so little as a Fool.	feels pain
Let Peals of Laughter, Codrus!° round thee break, [85]	conventional name for a poet
Thou unconcern’d canst hear the mighty Crack.
Pit, Box, and Gall’ry° in convulsions hurl’d,	parts of a theater
Thou stand’st unshook amidst a bursting World.
Who shames a Scribler? break one cobweb thro’,
He spins the slight, self-pleasing thread anew; [90]
Destroy his Fib, or Sophistry,° in vain,	misleading logic
The Creature’s at his dirty work again;
Thron’d in the Centre of his thin designs;
Proud of a vast Extent of flimzy lines!
Whom have I hurt? has Poet yet, or Peer,° [95]	member of the House of Lords
Lost the arch’d eye-brow, or Parnassian sneer?
And has not C–lly still his Lord, and Whore?
His butchers H—ley, his Free-masons M—r?
Does not one Table Bavius° still admit?	a bad Roman poet
Still to one Bishop Ph—ps seem a Wit? [100]
Still Sapho — “Hold! nay see you, you’ll offend:
No Names! — be calm! — learn Prudence of a Friend!
I too could write, and I am twice as tall;
But Foes like these!” — One Flatt’rer’s worse than all.
Of all mad Creatures, if the Learn’d are right, [105]
It is the Slaver° kills, and not the Bite.	saliva of a mad dog
A Fool quite angry is quite innocent;
Alas! ’tis ten times worse when they repent.
One dedicates in high Heroic prose,
And ridicules beyond a hundred foes; [110]
One from all Grubstreet will my fame defend,
And, more abusive, calls himself my friend.
This prints my Letters, that expects a Bribe,
And others roar aloud, “Subscribe, subscribe.”
There are,° who to my Person° pay their court: [115]	there are some — body
I cough like Horace, and tho’ lean, am short,
Ammon’s great Son° one shoulder had too high,	Alexander the Great
Such Ovid’s nose, and “Sir! you have an Eye—”
Go on, obliging Creatures, make me see
All that disgrac’d my Betters, met in me: [120]
Say for my comfort, languishing in bed,
“Just so immortal Maro° held his head:”	Virgil, author of the Aeneid
And when I die, be sure you let me know
Great Homer dy’d three thousand years ago.
Why did I write? what sin to me unknown [125]
Dipp’d me in ink, my Parents’, or my own?
As yet a Child, nor yet a Fool to Fame,
I lisp’d° in Numbers, for the Numbers° came.	spoke as a child — poetic meter
I left no Calling° for this idle trade,°	vocation — business
No Duty broke, no Father dis-obey’d. [130]
The Muse but serv’d to ease some Friend, not Wife,
To help me through this long Disease, my Life,
To second, Arbuthnot! thy Art and Care,
And teach, the Being you preserv’d, to bear.
But why then publish? Granville the polite, [135]
And knowing Walsh, would tell me I could write;
Well-natur’d Garth inflam’d with early praise,
And Congreve lov’d, and Swift endur’d my Lays;°	poems
The courtly Talbot, Somers, Sheffield read,
Ev’n mitred° Rochester would nod the head, [140]	wearing the bishop’s hat
And St. John’s self (great Dryden’s friends before)
With open arms receiv’d one Poet more.
Happy my Studies, when by these approv’d!
Happier their Author, when by these belov’d!
From these the world will judge of Men and Books, [145]
Not from the Burnets, Oldmixons, and Cooks.
Soft were my Numbers,° who could take offence	poetic verses
While pure Description held the place of Sense?
Like gentle Fanny’s was my flow’ry Theme,
A painted Mistress, or a purling Stream. [150]
Yet then did Gildon draw his venal° quill;°	open to bribery — pen
I wish’d the man a dinner, and sat still.
Yet then did Dennis rave in furious fret;
I never answer’d, I was not in debt.
If want° provok’d, or madness made them print, [155]	necessity
I wag’d no war with Bedlam° or the Mint.°	insane asylum — debtors’s district
Did some more sober Critic come abroad?
If wrong, I smil’d; if right, I kiss’d the rod.
Pains, reading, study, are their just pretence,
And all they want° is spirit, taste, and sense. [160]	lack
Comma’s and points they set exactly right,
And ’twere° a sin to rob them of their Mite.°	it would be — trivial point
Yet ne’er one sprig of Laurel grac’d these ribalds,°	worthless people
From slashing B—ley down to pidling T—ds.
Each Wight° who reads not, and but scans and spells, [165]	person (old-fashioned diction)
Each Word-catcher that lives on syllables,
Such piece-meal Critics some regard may claim,
Preserv’d in Milton’s or in Shakespear’s name.
Pretty! in Amber to observe the forms
Of hairs, or straws, or dirt, or grubs, or worms; [170]
The things, we know, are neither rich nor rare,
But wonder how the Devil they got there?
Were others angry? I excus’d them too;
Well might they rage; I gave them but their due.
A man’s true merit ’tis not hard to find, [175]
But each man’s secret standard in his mind,
That Casting-weight Pride adds to Emptiness,
This, who can gratify? for who can guess?
The Bard° whom pilfer’d Pastorals° renown,	poet — stolen poems
Who turns a Persian Tale for half a crown,° [180]	2½ shillings
Just writes to make his barrenness appear,
And strains, from hard-bound brains, eight lines a year:
He, who still wanting,° though he lives on theft,	lacking
Steals much, spends little, yet has nothing left:
And he, who now to sense, now nonsense leaning, [185]
Means not, but blunders round about a meaning:
And he, whose fustian’s° so sublimely bad,	bad writing
It is not poetry, but prose run mad:
All these, my modest Satire bad° translate,	bade, requested to
And own’d,° that nine such poets made a Tate. [190]	admitted
How did they fume, and stamp, and roar, and chafe?
And swear, not Addison himself was safe.
Peace to all such! but were there one whose fires
True Genius kindles, and fair fame inspires,
Blest with each talent and each art to please, [195]
And born to write, converse, and live with ease:
Should such a man, too fond to rule° alone,	fond of ruling
Bear,° like the Turk,° no brother near the throne,	tolerate — Muslim leader
View him with scornful, yet with jealous eyes,
And hate for arts that caus’d himself to rise; [200]
Damn with faint praise, assent with civil leer,
And without sneering, teach the rest to sneer;
Willing to wound, and yet afraid to strike,
Just hint a fault, and hesitate dislike;
Alike reserv’d to blame, or to commend, [205]
A tim’rous foe, and a suspicious friend;
Dreading ev’n fools, by flatterers besieg’d,
And so obliging, that he ne’er oblig’d;
Like Cato, give his little Senate laws,
And sit attentive to his own applause; [210]
While Wits and Templers° ev’ry sentence raise,	law students
And wonder with a foolish face of praise.
Who but must° laugh, if such a man there be?	who wouldn’t
Who would not weep, if Atticus were he?
What though my Name stood rubric° on the walls, [215]	written in red
Or plaister’d posts, with Claps in capitals?
Or smoking forth, a hundred Hawkers load,
On Wings of Winds came flying all abroad?
I sought no homage° from the Race that write;	asked for no praise
I kept, like Asian Monarchs, from their sight: [220]
Poems I heeded (now be-rym’d so long)
No more than Thou, great George! a Birth-day Song.
I ne’er with Wits or Witlings° pass’d my days,	someone who thinks they’re funny
To spread about the Itch of Verse and Praise;
Nor like a Puppy daggled° thro’ the Town, [225]	dragged
To fetch and carry Sing-song up and down;
Nor at Rehearsals sweat, and mouth’d, and cried,
With Handkerchief and Orange° at my side;	used as an air-freshener
But sick of fops, and poetry, and prate,°	chitchat
To Bufo left the whole Castalian state. [230]
Proud as Apollo on his forked hill,°	hill with two peaks
Sat full-blown Bufo, puff’d by every quill;°	pen
Fed with soft dedication all day long,
Horace and he went hand in hand in song.
His Library, (where Busts of Poets dead [235]
And a true Pindar stood without a head,)
Receiv’d of Wits an undistinguish’d race,
Who first his Judgment ask’d, and then a Place:
Much they extoll’d his pictures, much his seat,
And flatter’d ev’ry day, and some days eat: [240]
Till grown more frugal in his riper days,
He paid some Bards with Port,° and some with Praise,	a kind of wine
To some a dry Rehearsal was assign’d,
And others (harder still) he paid in kind.°	traded without money
Dryden alone (what wonder?) came not nigh,° [245]	near
Dryden alone escap’d this judging eye:
But still the great have kindness in reserve,
He help’d to bury whom he help’d to starve.
May some choice patron bless each grey goose quill!°	pen
May ev’ry Bavius have his Bufo still! [250]
So, when a statesman wants° a day’s defence,	lacks
Or envy holds a whole week’s war with sense,
Or simple pride for flatt’ry makes demands,
May dunce by dunce be whistled off my hands!
Blest be the Great! for those they take away, [255]
And those they left me — for they left me Gay,
Left me to see neglected Genius bloom,
Neglected die! and tell it on his tomb;
Of all thy blameless life the sole return
My verse, and Queensb’ry weeping o’er thy Urn! [260]
Oh let me live my own! and die so too!
(“To live and die is all I have to do:”)
Maintain a Poet’s Dignity and Ease,
And see what friends, and read what books I please.
Above a patron, though I condescend [265]
Sometimes to call a Minister my Friend:
I was not born for Courts or great Affairs;
I pay my Debts, believe, and say my Pray’rs;
Can sleep without a poem in my head,
Nor know, if Dennis° be alive or dead. [270]	John Dennis, critic who attacked Pope
Why am I ask’d what next shall see the light?
Heav’ns! was I born for nothing but to write?
Has life no joys for me? or (to be grave)°	serious
Have I no friend to serve, no soul to save?
“I found him close with Swift” — “Indeed? no doubt,” [275]
(Cries prating° Balbus) “something will come out.”	yammering
’Tis all in vain, deny it as I will.
“No, such a genius never can lie still,”
And then for mine obligingly mistakes
The first lampoon Sir Will. or Bubo makes. [280]
Poor guiltless I! and can I choose but smile,
When ev’ry coxcomb° knows me by my Style?	conceited idiot
Curst be the Verse, how well soe’er it flow,
That tends to make one worthy Man my foe,
Give Virtue scandal, Innocence a fear, [285]
Or from the soft-ey’d Virgin steal a tear!
But he, who hurts a harmless neighbour’s peace,
Insults fall’n Worth, or Beauty in distress,
Who loves a Lye, lame slander helps about,
Who writes a Libel, or who copies out: [290]
That Fop whose pride affects a Patron’s name,
Yet absent, wounds an Author’s honest fame;
Who can your merit selfishly approve,
And show the sense of it without the love;
Who has the vanity to call you friend, [295]
Yet wants° the honour, injur’d, to defend;	lacks
Who tells what’er you think, whate’er you say,
And, if he lie not, must at least betray:
Who to the Dean and silver Bell can swear,
And sees at Cannons what was never there; [300]
Who reads, but with a lust to misapply,
Make Satire° a Lampoon,° and Fiction, Lye.	criticism of a vice — personal attack
A lash like mine no honest man shall dread,
But all such babbling blockheads in his stead.
Let Sporus tremble — “What? that thing of silk, [305]
Sporus, that mere white curd of ass’s milk?
Satire or sense, alas! can Sporus feel?
Who breaks a Butterfly upon a Wheel?”°	torture device
Yet let me flap this Bug with gilded wings,
This painted° Child of Dirt that stinks and stings; [310]	wearing cosmetics
Whose Buzz the Witty and the Fair annoys,
Yet Wit ne’er tastes, and Beauty ne’er enjoys,
So well-bred Spaniels civilly delight
In mumbling of the Game they dare not bite.
Eternal Smiles his Emptiness betray, [315]
As shallow streams run dimpling all the way.
Whether in florid° Impotence he speaks,	flowery
And, as the Prompter° breathes, the Puppet squeaks;	one who gives cues to actors
Or at the Ear of Eve, familiar Toad,
Half Froth, half Venom, spits himself abroad, [320]
In Puns, or Politicks, or Tales, or Lyes,
Or Spite, or Smut, or Rymes, or Blasphemies.
His Wit all see-saw between that and this,
Now high, now low, now Master up, now Miss,
And he himself one vile Antithesis.° [325]	contradiction
Amphibious Thing! that acting either Part,
The trifling Head, or the corrupted Heart!
Fop at the Toilet,° Flatt’rer at the Board,°	dressing table — dinner table
Now trips a Lady, and now struts a Lord.
Eve’s Tempter thus the Rabbins° have exprest, [330]	rabbis
A Cherub’s° face, a Reptile all the rest;	angel’s
Beauty that shocks you, Parts° that none will trust,	talents
Wit that can creep, and Pride that licks the dust.
Not Fortune’s Worshipper, nor Fashion’s Fool,
Not Lucre’s° Madman, nor Ambition’s Tool, [335]	money’s
Not proud, nor servile, be one Poet’s praise,
That, if he pleas’d, he pleas’d by manly ways;
That Flatt’ry, even to Kings, he held a shame,
And thought a Lye in Verse or Prose the same:
That not in Fancy’s° Maze he wander’d long, [340]	imagination’s
But stoop’d to Truth, and moraliz’d his song:
That not for Fame, but Virtue’s better end,
He stood the furious Foe, the timid Friend,
The damning Critic, half-approving Wit,
The Coxcomb° hit, or fearing to be hit; [345]	conceited idiot
Laugh’d at the loss of Friends he never had,
The dull, the proud, the wicked, and the mad;
The distant Threats of Vengeance on his head,
The Blow unfelt, the Tear he never shed;
The Tale reviv’d, the Lye so oft o’erthrown; [350]
Th’ imputed° Trash, and Dulness not his own;	accused
The Morals blacken’d when the Writings ’scape;
The libell’d Person, and the pictur’d Shape;
Abuse on all he lov’d, or lov’d him, spread,
A Friend in Exile, or a Father, dead; [355]
The Whisper that to Greatness still too near,
Perhaps, yet vibrates on his Sovereign’s ear:—
Welcome for thee, fair Virtue! all the past:
For thee, fair Virtue! welcome ev’n the last!
“But why insult the Poor, affront° the Great?” [360]	offend
A Knave’s a Knave, to me, in ev’ry State:
Alike my scorn, if he succeed or fail,
Sporus at court, or Japhet in a Jayl,
A hireling° Scribler, or a hireling Peer,°	mercenary — member of the House of Lords
Knight of the Post corrupt, or of the Shire; [365]
If on a Pillory, or near a Throne,
He gain his Prince’s Ear, or lose his own.
Yet soft by Nature, more a Dupe than Wit,
Sapho can tell you how this Man was bit:°	deceived
This dreaded Sat’rist Dennis will confess [370]
Foe to his Pride, but Friend to his Distress:
So humble, he has knock’d at Tibbald’s door,
Has drunk with Cibber, nay has rym’d for Moor.
Full ten years slander’d, did he once reply?
Three thousand Suns went down on Welsted’s Lye: [375]
To please a Mistress, One aspers’d his life;
He lash’d him not, but let her be his Wife:
Let Budgel charge low Grubstreet on his quill,
And write whate’er he pleas’d, except his Will;
Let the Two Curls of Town and Court, abuse [380]
His Father, Mother, Body, Soul, and Muse.
Yet why? that Father held it for a rule,
It was a Sin to call our Neighbour Fool,
That harmless Mother thought no Wife a Whore, —
Hear this! and spare his Family, James More! [385]
Unspotted Names! and memorable long,
If there be Force in Virtue, or in Song.
Of gentle° Blood (part shed in Honour’s Cause,	well-born
While yet in Britain Honour had Applause)
Each Parent sprung — “What Fortune, pray?” — Their own, [390]
And better got, than Bestia’s from the Throne.
Born to no Pride, inheriting no Strife,
Nor marrying Discord in a Noble Wife,
Stranger to Civil and Religious Rage,
The good Man walk’d innoxious thro’ his age. [395]
No Courts he saw, no Suits would ever try,
Nor dar’d an Oath, nor hazarded a Lye:
Un-learn’d, he knew no Schoolman’s subtle Art,
No Language, but the Language of the Heart.
By Nature honest, by Experience wise, [400]
Healthy by Temp’rance and by Exercise:
His Life, tho’ long, to sickness past unknown;
His Death was instant, and without a groan.
O grant me, thus to live, and thus to die!
Who sprung from Kings shall know less joy than I. [405]
O Friend! may each Domestick Bliss be thine!
Be no unpleasing Melancholy mine:
Me, let the tender Office long engage
To rock the Cradle of reposing Age,
With lenient Arts extend a Mother’s breath, [410]
Make Languor° smile, and smooth the Bed of Death,	fatigue
Explore the Thought, explain the asking Eye,
And keep a while one Parent from the Sky!
On Cares like these if Length of days attend,
May Heav’n, to bless those days, preserve my Friend, [415]
Preserve him social, cheerful, and serene,
And just as rich as when he serv’d a Queen!
Whether that Blessing be denied or giv’n,
Thus far was right, the rest belongs to Heav’n.

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Notes

Tully

“You will not any longer attend to the vulgar mob’s gossip nor put your trust in human rewards for your deeds; virtue, through her own charms, should lead you to true glory. Let what others say about you be their concern; whatever it is, they’ll say it anyway.” Cicero [Marcus Tullius Cicero, often known as “Tully”], De Re Publica 6.23.

Nobleman

John Hervey, Baron Hervey of Ickworth, and Lady Mary Wortley Montagu. See below.

Dog-star

Sirius, the dog-star, is visible in late August; that time of year is known as the “dog-days.” It was traditionally a time when poets read their work in ancient Rome: see Juvenal’s third Satire.

Giddy Son

James Moore Smythe, son of Arthur Moore, had stolen some of Pope’s verses in his play, The Rival Ladies.

Cornus

Latin for “horn”; the name suggests a man who has been cuckolded, since cuckolds were traditionally imagined to wear horns.

Friend to my life

The poem is addressed to Dr. John Arbuthnot, Pope’s friend and physician.

Nine years

In the Ars Poetica, Horace suggested that an aspiring poet should hold on to his works for nine years before publishing them.

Drury-lane

Drury Lane was one of the two legitimate theatres in London; the area around it was notorious for its prostitutes and other low-life. That the poet is “high” suggests he’s in an attic with broken windows.

Pitholeon

Pope’s note: “The name taken from a foolish Poet at Rhodes, who pretended much to Greek. Schol. in Horat. lib. i. Dr. Bentley pretends that this Pitholeon libelled Caesar also. See notes on Hor. Sat. X. 1. I.” Richard Bentley, a classical scholar and editor of Horace, was one of Pope’s particular enemies; see line 164 and note.

Midas’ ears

In ancient mythology, Midas, the king of Phrygia, judged a musical contest between Pan and Apollo by giving the award to Pan. Apollo, angry, gave him ass’s ears.

Some say his Queen

[Pope’s note:] The Story is told by some of his Barber, but by Chaucer of his Queen. See Wife of Bath’s Tale in Dryden’s Fables.

Parnassian sneer

A quotation from Pope’s own Dunciad, 2.5.

C–lly

Colley Cibber, playwright and poet laureate. Pope attacked him in many poems, including the revised version of The Dunciad.

H—ley

John Henley, a preacher who had delivered a sermon on butchers.

Bavius

A bad Roman poet who attacked Horace and Virgil.

Ph—ps

Ambrose Philips, a poet often attacked by Pope, who called him “Namby Pamby” — the origin of the term.

Sapho

The real Sappho was a seventh-century BCE female poet from Lesbia in Greece who wrote erotic poems addressed to women. Pope applies the name here to Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, once a friend, later a bitter enemy.

Grubstreet

Grub Street was a section of London in which poor writers tried to eke out a living. As Wall Street now means finance and Fleet Street means journalism, Grub Street came to stand for the whole milieu of hack writing. Johnson defines it as “Originally the name of a street in Moorfields in London, much inhabited by writers of small histories, dictionaries, and temporary poems; whence any mean production is called grubstreet.”

Prints my Letters

Curll had published a pirated edition of Pope’s correspondence. The story is more complicated than it seems, though, since Pope apparently manipulated him into publishing them.

Subscribe, subscribe

Publication by subscription was becoming common. Writers would announce a project and seek support before the work was finished. Those who paid in advance would see their names listed in the book. Pope was one of the first to make a fortune from this method of publication in his translation of Homer.

Short

Pope was very short — four foot six. He suffered from tuberculosis of the spine, which also gave him a bad hunchback.

Ovid’s nose

Ovid’s name was Publius Ovidius Naso; naso is Latin for “nose.”

This long disease

Pope was in fact plagued by many diseases throughout his life.

Granville . . . St. John

A catalogue of Pope’s friends and supporters.

great Dryden’s friends before

[Pope’s note:] All these were Patrons or Admirers of Mr. Dryden, tho’a scandalous Libel against him, entituled, Dryden’s Satyr to his Muse, has been printed in the Name of the Lord Somers, of which he was wholly ignorant.

Burnets, Oldmixons, and Cooks

[Pope’s note:] Authors of secret and scandalous History.

Fanny

Lord Hervey, discussed below in lines 305 and following.

Gildon

Charles Gildon, a critic and poet who had attacked Pope.

Dennis

John Dennis, another critic and poet who attacked Pope.

Slashing B—ley down to pidling T—ds

Richard Bentley was England’s greatest classical scholar and one of Pope’s enemies. “Tibbald” is Lewis Theobald, who had viciously attacked Pope’s edition of Shakespeare in a book called Shakespeare Restored. Pope gave both of them prominent places in his Dunciad.

Persian Tale

Pope’s note: “Ambrose Philips translated a book called the Persian Tales.” Half a crown was the usual charge for a prostitute.

Tate

Nahum Tate, a poet and playwright most famous today for his happy-ending version of King Lear (1681), who also did a translation of the Psalms.

Addison

Joseph Addison, co-author of The Spectator, was originally one of Pope’s friends. They had a falling out, not only over literary matters (Addison preferred the Homer translation by Tickell to the one by Pope) but also over politics. The next verse paragraph, with its satire on “Atticus,” is an extended attack on Addison.

Cato

Addison wrote a play called Cato, a huge success. When he and Pope were on good terms, Pope contributed a verse prologue to the play.

Claps

Books were advertised by having their title pages pasted up like posters, known as “claps.” Rubric means “in red,” a color sometimes used on title pages.

George

King George II. One of the functions of the poet laureate — a position then held by Colley Cibber — was to write celebratory odes on the king’s birthday. He here suggests that the king ignores such tributes.

Bufo

A caricature of a literary patron. Castalia is a spring on Parnassus (the “forked hill” in the next line), and the Castalian state therefore represents poetry.

Puff

“To swell or blow up with praise” (Johnson). It was common to write fulsome tributes to patrons in the works they supported.

Pindar stood without a head

Pope’s note: “Ridicules the affectation of antiquaries, who frequently exhibit the headless trunks and terms of statues for Plato, Homer, Pindar, etc.”

Help’d to bury

Pope’s note: “Mr. Dryden, after having liv’d in Exigencies, had a magnificent Funeral bestow’d upon him by the contributions of several Persons of Quality.”

Gay

A pun — not only left him happy, but left him John Gay, Pope’s friend, best known today as the author of The Beggar’s Opera.

Queensb’ry

Charles Douglas, 3d Duke of Queensbury, paid for a monument to Gay in Westminster Abbey. Pope provided the epitaph.

To live and die

See Sir John Denham’s poem, “Of Prudence”: “Learn to live well, that thou may’st die so too;/ To live and die is all we have to do.”

Balbus

The name of a Roman lawyer. It refers here to George Hay, 7th Earl of Kinnoul, a former friend of Pope.

Sir Will. or Bubo

“Sir Will.” is Sir William Yonge, a politician whom Pope disliked. “Bubo,” Latin for “owl,” refers to George Bubb Dodington, notorious for his lack of taste. The word also suggests “booby,” which Johnson defines as “A dull, heavy, stupid fellow; a lubber.”

Cannons

Cannons is the estate of the Duke of Chandos. In his Epistle to Burlington, Pope attacked “Timon’s villa” as a model of bad taste. Many readers insisted this was an attack on Chandos, but Pope denied it.

Sporus

Sporus was a favorite and lover of the emperor Nero. Pope uses the name for Lord Hervey (pronounced Harvey), a former friend of Pope, who was rumored to be bisexual.

At the ear of Eve

Pope’s note: “In the fourth Book of Milton [Paradise Lost, 4.800], the Devil is represented in his Posture. It is but justice to own that the Hint of Eve and the Serpent was taken from the Verses on the Imitator of Horace.” Eve is here Queen Caroline, whom Hervey served. The Verses were a satirical attack on Pope written by Hervey.

Stoop

A term from falconry.

Pictur’d Shape

Referring to the satirical illustrations of Pope’s deformed body that had appeared in several publications.

Japhet

Japhet Crook, a forger.

Knight of the post

“A hireling evidence” (Johnson) — that is, someone paid to give false evidence in court.

Lose his own

One penalty for libel and other offenses — and a fate suffered by Japhet Crook — was to be set in the stocks and to have one’s ears cut off.

Welsted

Pope’s note: “This man had the impudence to tell in print that Mr. P. had occasioned a Lady’s death, and to name a person he never heard of. He also published that he had libelled the Duke of Chandos; with whom (it was added) that he had lived in familiarity, and received from him a present of five hundred pounds; the false-hood of both which is known to his Grace. Mr. P. never received any present farther than the subscription for Homer, from him, or from Any great Man whatsoever.”

Budgel

Eustace Budgell. Pope’s note: “Budgel in a Weekly Pamphlet call’d the Bee, bestow’d much abuse on him [Pope], in the imagination that he writ some things about the Last Will of Dr. Tindal, in the Grubstreet Journal; a Paper wherein he never had the least Hand, Direction, or Supervisal, nor the least knowledge of its Authors. He took no notice of so frantick an Abuse; and expected that any man who knew himself Author of what he was slander’d for, would have justify’d him on that Article.”

Two Curls

Pope’s note: “In some of Curl’s and other pamphlets, Mr. Pope’s father was said to be a Mechanic [i.e., an unskilled workman], a Hatter, a Farmer, nay a Bankrupt. But, what is stranger, a Nobleman [i.e., Hervey] (if such a Reflection can be thought to come from a Nobleman) has dropt an allusion to this pitiful Untruth, in his Epistle to a Doctor of Divinity: And the following line,

Hard as thy Heart, and as thy Birth Obscure,

had fallen from a like Courtly pen, in certain Verses to the Imitator of Horace. Mr. Pope’s father was of a Gentleman’s family in Oxfordshire, the Head of which was the Earl of Downe, whose sole Heiress married the Earl of Lindsey. — His Mother was the Daughter of William Turnor, Esq; of York: She had three Brothers, one of whom was kill’d, another died in the Service of King Charles, the eldest following his Fortunes, and becoming a General Officer in Spain, left her what Estate remain’d after the Sequestrations and Forfeitures of her family — Mr. Pope died in 1717, aged 75; She in 1733, aged 93, a very few weeks after this poem was finished. The following inscription was placed by their son on their Monument, in the Parish of Twickenham, in Middlesex.

D.O.M.
Alexandro . Pope . Viro . Innocvo
Probo . Pio . Qvi . Vixit . Annos . LXXV . Ob . MDCCXVCII
Et . Edithæ . Conivgi . Incvlpabili . Pientissimæ
Qvae . Vixit . Annos . XCIII . Ob . MDCCXXXIII
Parentibvs . Benemerentibvs . Filivs . Fecit . Et . Sibi”

Bestia

Lucius Calpurnius Bestia, a roman consul who was bribed to enter into a dishonorable peace. Pope is probably alluding to the Duke of Marlborough.

Nor dar’d an Oath, nor hazarded a Lye

Pope was a Roman Catholic, and Catholics were forced to take oaths or be deprived of many of their civil rights. Many simply took the oaths and lied; Pope and his father refused, and suffered the consequences.

Serv’d a Queen

Arbuthnot had been a courtier to Queen Anne, but after George I took the throne in 1714 he lost his position.