A letter of 20 January 1674 explains a story behind this poem: “My Lord Rochester fled from Court some time since for delivering (by mistake) into the King’s hands a terrible lampoon of his own making against the King, instead of another the King asked him for.”
In th’ isle of Britain, long since famous grown |
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For breeding the best cunts in Christendom, |
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There reigns, and oh! long may he reign and thrive, |
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The easiest King and best-bred man alive. |
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Him no ambition moves to get renown [5] |
moves = inspires |
Like the French fool, that wanders up and down |
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Starving his people, hazarding his crown. |
hazarding = risking |
Peace is his aim, his gentleness is such, |
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And love he loves, for he loves fucking much. | |
Nor are his high desires above his strength: [10] |
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His scepter and his prick are of a length; |
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And she may sway the one who plays with th’ other, |
sway = influence |
And make him little wiser than his brother. |
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Poor Prince! thy prick, like thy buffoons at Court, |
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Will govern thee because it makes thee sport. [15] |
govern = control |
’Tis sure the sauciest prick that e’er did swive, |
swive = fuck |
The proudest, peremptoriest prick alive. |
peremptoriest = most dictatorial |
Though safety, law, religion, life lay on ’t, |
though = even if; lay = depended |
’Twould break through all to make its way to cunt. |
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Restless he rolls about from whore to whore, [20] |
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A merry monarch, scandalous and poor. | |
To Carwell, the most dear of all his dears, |
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The best relief of his declining years, |
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Oft he bewails his fortune, and her fate: |
bewails = complains about |
To love so well, and be beloved so late. [25] |
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For though in her he settles well his tarse, |
tarse = dick |
Yet his dull, graceless bollocks hang an arse. |
bollocks = balls |
This you’d believe, had I but time to tell ye |
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The pains it costs to poor, laborious Nelly, |
pains = effort |
Whilst she employs hands, fingers, mouth, and thighs, [30] |
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Ere she can raise the member she enjoys. |
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All monarchs I hate, and the thrones they sit on, |
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From the hector of France to the cully of Britain. | hector = bully; cully = cuckold |